Lady Asphyxia

[color=darkred]I can see this becoming a challenge-type RPG "Who can come up with the cornest line?"...if it does, I'd like to join. ^.^" It'd be fun. And funny. We could make people laugh! (A big thing for someone who tells really bad jokes)[/color]

[color=darkred]o.O Yup. Very scary. Especially that he practically [i]invented[/i] those things. o.O And I highly doubt anyone would [i]actually[/i] roleplay like that. At least, I hope not. o.O *is a little scared*[/color]

[color=darkred]Yup. Talking about you. As for the Romance novel RPG, I can see it now...[/color] [color=sienna]Flash: Oh (insert name), I don't want to lose you. I love you so much it kills me. And when I saw you with [i]him[/i], I almost burst with misery... ????: Oh, Flash, I would [i]never[/i] betray you with him. ???? Sobs and throws herself into Flashes arms, crying hysterically for what they'd almost lost through misunderstandings...[/color] [color=darkred]Erm...yeah. Going to be quiet now.[/color]

[color=darkred]Rae heard the alarms up ahead, and slouched, looking for something. The rest of the team was behind her. Because of her free reign lately, Rae knew this place quite well. The stark walls opened up to a huge ballroom that was being prepared for the gala tonight. The servants who'd been hired for the night continued as if nothing was wrong. Rae smiled. "Go on, guys. Find somewhere to get ready. We're in for a big haul tongiht. We have to get Pizaro [i]alive[/i]. Just...promise you won't shoot [i]me[/i]? The nodded and left. Rae moved foward, glancing with deliberately wide eyes at the ballroom. Her fingers stroked a lily as she moved past, fingers casually tipping over the vase. "Opps," she whispered, manicured nails glinting as she brought her hand up to cover her mouth, and its smile. "I'm so sorry. I'm feeling so very [i]clumsy[/i] lately." Pizaro's amused voice sounded behind her. "Jenna, stop terrorising the hired help." She whirled, smirked, and nodded at him. "Yes, Papa. I'll be good. I promise."[/color]

[color=darkred]104 RPGs that I can count. Yes, call me obsessive. After I read you asking, I found out. I have no idea what my RPG style is. I'd probably say ask someone else who woud know my style, but I think it's probably fantasy style. I don't know anything about Digimon, very little about Pokemon, and don't much like stuff in the future. However, I also like the "other". ^.^" [/color]

[color=darkred]Sitting in the nice little jeep, Rae thought about the conversation Jaudiar had had with her earlier. "You need to get out. The grand party Pizaro is holding will be big, and a perfect place to intercede. We can't do that if we know you're there. You're a great shot, but your cover can't be revealed yet. Besides, its most likely we'll just be shooting without any target, at first. So, get out. Go to Siren and the crew." And that was what she was doing. Rae looked around, and tapped the shoulder of the driver. "Lets stop here," she shouted over the noise of the jeep. He nodded, and began to slow down. Jumping out of the vehicle, she picked her way over to a log. In the underbrush behind it, she could see Niomi and Siren, and she winked at them, hoping Adam had told them what was going on. He had. Two shots rang out, and two of the four guards crumpled to the ground. The remainder had drawn their guns, but with no target but their lovely Jehane, they didn't shoot anyone. Smirking, Rae took the only female as Craig took out the other. The silence after the quick fight was deafening. Rae stood up and brushed the dirt off her skirt, then turned and faced Siren. "Glad to see me?" Siren stared for a moment, then broke into a wide grin. "Hell yes!" The looked at each other, then Siren whistled. "Nice clothes." "Yes. They are. I am Jehane Baudez, to them at least. Damn she's a bloodthirsty whore. Ugh." Rae tapped her ear, where the earpiece used to be. "I need a new one. Someone tell Adam that Jaudiar and Liam are taking the gala. I think they might need back-up. I'm not sure if I should go, though." Siren relayed that information, then listened to him. "No. Don't. Apparently, we're going to use you instead of his daughter as his daughter." "What?" "Well, we're using his daughter as a hostage to get him to do what we want. However, in the trading period, we'll plant you, not Jenna in the bargaining period. A decoy of sorts." Rae nodded. "Like I have been. Well, do I go in and pretend to be helpless or not?" "Might as well. Your already neck deep in lies. We can abduct you then." Rae laughed and nodded. "Okay. Lets go see my papa."[/color]

[color=darkred]Yup. They do mean the same thing. I know. Driving my point home, really. And I hate using trite on its own. My teacher does, and annoys us all with it. -.- Thank you Mist. ^.^ *is glad because she got criticism and responses from the people who's opinions she holds the most respect for*[/color]

[color=darkred]...You posted in here of your own free will. o.O Is the good reason that its good, or that I'll hurt you if you say its bad?[/color]

[color=darkred]Thank you. That is what I wanted. Criticism. (And thank you Mnemolth for correcting me ^.^) I know what you mean. I'm really bad at writing subtly, something I still have to learn. ^.^" I will eventually. I didn't actually mean to make the time pass that much. I was going to have just the one night, but I think I lost the plot somewhere. ^.^" And Sere, happy is coming. Soon. I want to see if I can do that without making it trite and cliched. Once again, thank you, Mitch. ^.^ seriously, continue.[/color]

[color=darkred]Once back at the ship, Troy turned to them. "Who are you?" he asked the redhead rudely. "She," Rae announced proudly, "is my half sister!" "But only when I want to be," The red head mutttered. "Yeah. Her name is Skye. His name is..." "Troy." "Yeah. Troy." She skipped around a little bit for no reason, then collapsed and started crying.[/color]

[color=darkred]She looked around, listening silently for a ew minutes more, then left just as silently. As she left, she passed a priest with an amused look on his face and a hand held out, palm up. Glaring at him, she returned the pilfered items, then walked away, stopping as he coughed. "Oh, fine," she muttered, reutrning the quill pen from a pouch in her shirt. She stepped away, and the priest led her to her room, a nice place. Silent, and calm. It was also the end room. No one would attack her here.[/color]

[color=darkred]Okay, I'm impatient. We [i]all[/i] know that. Or we should. Like I said before, I was actually quite disappointed with it. It doesn't really flow that well, and seems...I'm not sure. Like you said, Mnemolth, Perfection was better. I have no idea if repressment is a word, but I felt like using it. It probably isn't. No, Sere. you weren't pressured into reading this, 'cause I'd gotten 3 people to read it already, and I couldn't be bothered PMing you as well. However, I'm glad you did ^.^ All of you! Critism [i]is[/i] always welcome. Do you know, I havce never had [i]anybody[/i] tell me when my work is crap, and so I never know what I've done wrong when I get bad marks at school. So critise, damnit! ^.^ okay. I'm at school, and can't take long. And sorry for any errors, this keyboard is horrible, and so is the mouse. -.- [/color]

[color=darkred]Yeah, it is, second page I think. And leave me alone. Nobody read it. [i]At all[/i]. I was getting desperate. Hell, if you hadn't posted when you did, I'd have called Cloricus in. In fact, I think I will. Soon. Meh. Maybe. And you know, critism is welcome... [/color]

[color=darkred]Rae smiled and walked over to Skye. "It was the evil person who put money in the toilet." "No!" She nodded solemly. "Well, we must catch this evil being!" Rae shook her head and confided in a stage whisper, "Can't. We are in trouble, cause we stole the cookie from the Cookie Jar."[/color]

[color=darkred]Shush. I pester you with nothing. Saide does that. I'm only a little bit younger than you. Like, a year or so... I'm all very complimented, even though I made you read it cause no one else was replying ^.^"[/color]

[color=darkred]Rae skipped from foot to foot, looking at the golden cookie, otherwise known as a Squiggle Top. She'd taken it from the jar when nobody was looking, and was currently trying to decide which bit of honeycomb to eat first when a man shouted at her, "You stole the cookie from the cookie jar!" "Who me?" She replied innocently. "Yes you!" "Couldn't be." "Then who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?" "erm...Troy?" "Troy stole th...I'm Troy!" "Oops." Rae held out her hand, which was now full of mushed Golden Cookie. "Sorry." She turned her palm over and let it drop into Troys hand. Then she grabbed hold of his hand, pulling him along with all her six year old strength. "I have to show you the secret stash of Golden Cookies...my robot is guarding them"[/color]

[color=darkred]Tigervx, I posted after they stopped counting. I think the computor registered the loss of posts when the NL got deleted, but didn't realise that they didn't count towards your post count...or something like that. I know what I think happened, but I find it hard to explain things... >.

[color=darkred]...Don't get back properly 'till the 21st December. ^.^" Like I said, I can pull out...[/color]

[color=darkred]Michael - [i](herbrew)[/i] Who is like god. Although, I'm sure there's another meaning... Anthony - [i](Greek)[/i] Worthy of Praise.[/color]

[color=darkred]For a seven year old? Jewellry - elastic, with beads, definately not gold tends to work. Maybe make up, but it's probably better to go for something like lipsmaker, where it doesn't show up in the childs lips. It'd be a little strange to see a 7 year old walking around with scarlett lips...[/color]

[color=darkred]Erm...Dave, I go away 2 days after that...^.^" I can pull out if you want...[/color]

[color=darkred]I don't get bored often. Oh, sure, I get bored but not of the [i]bored[/i] bored variety. I get [i]bored[/i] bored every 3 months or so, I'd say. Basically I get all frustrated (which is usually because nothing appeals to me, so I get bored) and nothing and no one can help, so I usually go sit in my tree and cry... Otherwise, I read constantly, come on here just as constantly, pretend to do school work whilst sitting in class doodling, or writing crappy poems that I'd never show to anyone. At home, I do the same thing, but add liberal amounts of phone time, sarcasm, and movies/music. Television isn't something I watch regularly, no are video games... I do like swimming, now that I can swim again, though...[/color]

[color=darkred]Rae was sitting down on a chair, with a small plush dog next to her. She was plucking the petals off a fake flower, in the classic, "He loves me, he loves me not," game. The last petal arrived, and it ended up as "he loves me not." She shrieked with anger, and hit the plush dog. "You don't love me anymore!" And stormed off to find something to eat, dragging the toy behind her by the ear as it moaned its misery. Face set, she stalked into the toilets, and flushed it down the loo. Smiling, Rae strightened her clothing, found another plushie, and began the game all over again.[/color]

[color=darkred]Well done, Raiha. The only grammatic error (which are my favorites, 'cause they're usually easy to find ^.^") was the thoughts. You should keep them out of inverted commas, and just have them in italics. Cut out the very first line, it isn't needed. Just start with dialogue. The line: [b]Grace stood up, trying to look less tall...[/b] seems odd. I know what you mean when you say that, I've done it before. Maybe add a [b]Grace stood up, then slouched, trying to look less tall.[/b] Other than that, Raiha, its perfect. It brings across the emotion felt, but still holds it back a little bit, so it doesn't swamp you and everything seems incoherant. The characterisations are really good. I don't know the characters in real life, however, they seem very realistic. If its in the past, I realise it must have been traumatic, because those are the things you remember most vividly. My sympathy. Raiha, this is very well done, and everything I have come to expect from you in your writing, and more. Please, write more. I'm longing to find out how this period of your life continues.[/color]

[color=darkred]Fine. I won't call you Newt Boy anymore. Luke is Latin. It means Light. William is British, meaning Protector.[/color]