Lady Asphyxia

[color=darkred]MK, it mightn't have been removed in the first place, anyway. Sometimes posts just don't appear for whatever reason. It's happened to me sometimes... As for fighting, I don't know. It would seem that if you need to know how to fight, then you should, but if you don't, a case of 'ignorance is bliss?' Ask your girl. She could probably answer for you...[/color]

[color=darkred]I thought I clicked the top one, however, after much thought, I think maybe my mouse might have stuffed up and I clicked the second one... -.- [/color]

[color=darkred]I was wondering when this thread would come up... ^.^ Me, I'm going to the coast with two friends on the 30th, so...next Saturday. I come back on the 4/5th of December, then on the 7th, I go to New Zealand, till the 21st. From there I think (or hope, take your pick), I'm staying home for the rest of the holidays. Obviously I won't be on Otaku much once holidays start, until after Christmas...[/color]

[color=darkred]Missed that. Danke, Mitch. Let me see...in the first paragraph, I think you should start in first person; in James' first person, instead of the teachers. Iono why, it just seems strange to use her for a line or so then change. Maybe its already in his first person, but you should make it more obvious: [b]James could see that ...[/b] Or something...like I said before, well done...[/color]

[color=darkred]I want to live past 36 before I die. Something about my family tends to mean we don't...heh...I don't know why. I'd also like to finish grade ten. I so don't want to be married. Or have children. Children annoy me. I can't believe I used to be a toddler... I beg my mum for forgiveness for that everyday. Or not. hehe...just ignore me...[/color]

[color=darkred]:p To you all! I was told by people who shall remain nameless *cough*Liam, The Unholy Newt*cough* That it doubled each time. So I'm sorry if I got it wrong. *sobs* I think I'll crawl back into my hole now and cry myself to death. *sob* [/color]

[color=darkred]Yeah, Sere, I know what you mean. It was really hard to get adjusted to typing color when I wanted dark red >.< And you all drove me crazy as well, until I began not to care one way or the other... ^.^" [/color]

[color=darkred]Well done. However, try not to use so many adjectives after someone spoke. It seems to bog down the story itself. Can't type more, I've got to go - school. Sorry. Will review alter.[/color]

[color=darkred]It's good. The story seems a little...jumpy?...for some reason. What reason, I don't know. Maybe its because the first person seems as if its foreign to you. Also, when you post it, its easier to read if it has spaces between the paragraphs. (Like I do^) Its just a tip, because people appreciate it when it's late at night and thier tired and they loose their place. ^.^" (Personal expirience). In some places you have the wrong wrd, like who's instead of whose. Otherwise, its great. I'm a little bit of a perfectionist, so if I seem nitpicky, then you can ignore me! ^.^[/color]

[color=darkred]Its good Bryan. Hmm...there are some sentances in there that can be combined instead of having just two words in there, for example: [quote]Sighing, I realised what I needed to do was relax.[/quote] Instead of, [quote]I sighed. What I needed to do was relax.[/quote] Basically, it just makes it flow better. Honestly, Bri, you're a really good writer. Keep going. Please? *puppy dog eyes* Keep going Bri. (I hope it doesn't seem like I'm picking on you, I'm not trying to) :nervous: [/color]

[color=darkred]Well, guys, I've never heard my parents fight. But then, I can't remember my parents talking. As for my story, I'm not going to bother posting it here, however, if you [i]really[/i] want it, go to my 'Perfection' thread. That's my story. Mitch, sorry about the fight. My half-sister's told me about when Mum and her dad used to fight, about the ripping pain and the fear and...well, everything. Good luck is all I can really say, I suppose.[/color]

[color=darkred]Actually, MK, I was giving CC from the reader's point of view. The reader is the audience. Besides, I think it was great. First Person is hard to control with the 'i's, because there's no other way to describe yourself. However, from a readers' point of view, it becomes repeditive. If either (or anyone else) took it the wrong way, then try to view it from my perspective...I [i]am[/i] trying to help.[/color]

[color=darkred]She whimpered, rubbing her face with her hand. Seth looked at her, concerned. "Are you all right?" "Fine...good...never better, don't know...can't...Seth" She rubbed her face again, eyes closed against the lingering pain, rocking backwards and fowards slightly. "It hurts. My mind hurts." She started to cry, energy leaving her, and Seth sat down beside her, holding her as she tried to let out the pressure still in her mind. Actually, Seth realised as they connected again, she was anything but all right. Even as she calmed down and started to stand, he could feel the unconscious part of her mind calling to him. [i]Help me, Seth. Please. Oh god. Help me![/i] And she retreaded again as a wave of convulsions washed over her. Whimpering, she curled herself up into the foetal position, starting to cry again.[/color]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by sydney [/i] [B]Welcome to my world. [/B][/QUOTE] [color=darkred]heh, I [i]know[/i] what you mean. Or I think I do. Do you debate, or do drama? As for my advice, don't just bore people. Nobody is going to learn if its boring. Try to intersperce it with something that'll get there attention (but make it relevant to what you're supposed to be teaching). For speeches in general (not just teaching), I find quotes work well. Hehe...as the people (The Harlequin, and Saide) in my History class should know, most of my speeches are pure ******** intersperced with basic facts. Hmmm...Don't act nervous - they will eat you alive if you do. Never let them see your nervous. Shaking is hard to control, but if you put your hands on a desk or something, you can. Don't fiddle with your clothes, it's distracting. Try to be relaxed about it. Smile, if you usually smile. If not, don't let yourself have a completely 'paralysed with fear' look on your face. ...What are you supposed to teach them on Frankenstien? We had to read the play for English, then do a duologue and a character study, and then finish off with a prologue or epilogue. Do you have any idea of what you're going to do for it? What material to cover? You could probably stall by reading out part of the story that 'illistrates the cruelty of human kind' or something like that, which could be added onto by saying your theories of what she was trying to get across in her book. Other than that, all I know is basic facts; Frankenstien was written as a ghost story at her friends place (I forget who's), its an example of gothic literature, Mary Shelley's mother was a well known feminist, Mary Shelly married Percy Shelly, the poet. Sorry I can't help you any more than that...[/color]

[color=darkred]I don't get them either, however, I just activated the get emailed when you get a private message thingy. That way I know.[/color]

[color=darkred]Yes, I liked Schindler's List. The Patriot was good, and, of course, my favorite movie of all time was one called "Amy". I liked that much so. [/color]

[color=darkred]Yes, its true. Custom avitars are pretty much all you can have. Nobody but James and Shift know whether or not the avitars are coming back (and even then, they may not know), so I suggest asking for an Avi.[/color]

[color=darkred]Personally, I like most of my mums music. I [i]really[/i] like my friend's dad's taste in music; Jazz mainly. I can stand most types of music. As for your mum...I'm not sure. I can't compare to most parents I know; my mum finds the merits in almost all music I listen to. Sorry I can't help.[/color]

[color=darkred]Yes, I know. My mum used to make it for me, but we called it 'Special Spaghetti', because bacon was one of our favorites, and a while back we were living on basically eggs and nothing else - bacon was a commodity. It wasn't until a couple of years ago that I found out what it was really called.[/color]

[color=darkred]No problem. :p [/color]

[color=darkred]Actually, Valen, I'm pretty sure it goes Otaku:1000-1999, Extreme Otaku:2000-3999, then No Life: 4000 to whatever...:p[/color]

[color=darkred]Well, I have only one suggest. Try to lay off the "I..." in sentences. Its repeditive. Try to change the sentence structure around so you start with something else. Other than that, its fine. Continue, please. [/color]

[color=darkred]Well done, Mitch. Personally, I like them all, but I love Clifay. There's way too many here for me to go through them all now and give proper reviews and Constructive Critism, seeing as my brain is on hold at this minute, but, once again they are great.[/color]

[color=darkred]Go to Profile, then Edit Options. Where it says "Style Set" Change it to Industrial Otaku. (It's just above the avitar part) [/color]

[color=darkred]Name: Kathryn May Sarah Randall Age: 14 DOB: June 20th, 1988 Location: Toowoomba, Australia One Word: Lazy Occupation: Student Color: Grey Food: Spaghetti Carbonara Beverage: Apple Juice Dream Job: Writer, Editor Self-Proclaimed: ***** Ethnicity: Scottish, German Extracurricular: Swimming Hobby: Writing, reading, swimming. Dessert: Chocolate Ice cream Musician: Too many Group: Too many Mac or PC? Theres a difference? :wow: :p Nics: Ugh. Blondie, Icy, Goldielocks... Blog: No Home Page: No Book: The Pact Collections: Stamps...I suppose, and books. I like books. Sport: Swimming. Won't Eat: Tomato Sauce Words to live by: "Speak only when you are going to make a fool of yourself, never let them see the real you." Addicted to: Otaku Boards, writing, Chocolate... Movie: Amy. I love that movie.[/color]