Lady Asphyxia

[left] Name: Elodie Stanton Age: 17 Gender: Female Appearance: Elodie could be described quite accurately as a wisp of a girl. From the top of her crown to the tips of her toes, it suits her perfectly. She is healthy enough, although her pale colouring lends itself to an air of sickness. She has white skin, a side effect from too much time inside [reading books, no doubt, as her mother would say], and wispy white hair that won't tie up -- will, in fact, stay down around her shoulders, constantly. Her deeply dark blue eyes are really the only colour to her, and they are striking in their impact. Otherwise, her prescence is somewhat inoffensive and she can slide between rooms and people and groups with little to no disturbance between them. She is a distant girl who rarely smiles, although when she does it changes her whole face. Her expression is almost always serious, and her clothing reflects this; it is sturdy material, garments bought for durability and wear [although once in a while, she even wears a dress]. Element: Psychic. Starting Ability: Elodie doesn't currently have what one would call a 'deep control' over her abilities. At present, she has the ability to hear things that aren't heard -- almost like whispers on the wind, although it isn't exactly on the wind as such. Sometimes, in extreme anger, she can make things 'happen' -- although she doesn't know how and she doesn't want to know. She doesn't know much about her powers, and it would be easier to convince her to jump off a cliff than voluntarily explore them. Put simply, she's scared of them. [After all, only crazy people hear voices, right?] That said, a need born of necessity, or a demand made by destiny -- is not something she can deny. Why?: Academically, Elodie is quite a strong student. She is fascinated by knowledge; although her grades aren't 'stellar', they are certainly not shameful. But more than that, Elodie is blessed with an intrinsic empathy towards people. She can 'get inside their heads' -- or put herself in their shoes in order to work out what is wrong with them. This empathy is the reason that her gift chose her; her gift is daunting, yes, but she has the connection with people that will keep her sane when it fully blooms. [/left]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]When Steve Irwin was alive, I thought he was a bit of a dickhead. I'm Australian and he was the only person I ever heard talk like him. I went to Australia Zoo when I was younger and bought a bracelet there that I loved for years, but that was the extent of my interaction with him. Steve Irwin was the face of the customs campaign, he was a tourist attraction, and yeah, he was a bit of a dickhead, but he was also kinda fun. He wormed his way into what I defined as the national identity. He may have been a small part of it -- subconsciously there, and when I described Australia, I didn't include him. But when I found out he'd died -- it was like a part of what I define 'Australian', and thus what I define 'me', was gone. And that's what I find so hard. Something that never really touched me in a 'direct' way has changed and then changed me -- but since I was never really directly involved, I can't believe it fully, either. What's sadly ironic is that the show he was filming for -- his daughter's show -- was not actually about dangerous creatures. It was about marine animals [or something along those lines]. This is the third recorded death from a sting ray, ever. But at the same time, it's fitting, too. Something like a car accident wouldn't have been right. If he'd died with a crocodile, it would have been wrong -- he'd spent his entire life with them and it would suck. This -- while sad -- is okay. It's what he loved, animals in general, and lets face it, it was fitting; it was an unusual end for an unusual guy. I feel bad for his wife and kids, though. It's so hard to deal with death when he was so young. I don't know anything else to say that isn't trite and cliche. My thoughts are with the family. Good luck and wishes to them. I hope they deal okay. [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]You know, I have been looking for an Old School RPG like this for somewhat more than a year.[Call me old fashioned [img]http://otakuboards.com/images/smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] ] So if there are more positions going to be added in, then I would love to apply for Sandy's brilliant 'Time' idea. Plus, I now have time for an RPG. [Haha, pun half-intended. XD] [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]I'd like to add on to Sakura's post and say that, in addition to respect from followers, a good leader should also respect his followers. Respect is earned by giving respect; if you don't treat those around you with respect, at most all you'll get is subservience born of fear -- and that [i]isn't[/i] leadership. I also think that respect for others is a big part of the charisma factor that so many good leaders have had. Otherwise they'd just be smarmy gits, no? [size=1]P.S. Mimmi, I love this idea -- it's great fun! -- and I love you. I haven't seen you in ages. Where have you been?!?![/size] [/color][/size][/font]

[b][font=Arial][size=2][color=darkgreen][quote]Quote from [i]Mandatory: Adventure Square Basics[/i] Thread [/color][/size][/font][/b] [size=2][font=Arial][color=darkgreen][b]1.[/b] Post length and quality should be reflective of the collaborative storytelling that is going on in this forum. Though there is no set length requirement, anything less than a couple decent paragraphs (decent meaning more than four sentences) will be considered spam[b].[/quote][/b][/color][/font][/size] [font=Arial][size=2][color=darkgreen]Considering that, in the last 15 posts, I would consider only [b]five[/b] of these to be acceptable according to the above guidelines, I'm giving this thread a warning. The warning is to the basic extent of "Shape up or ship out" -- the post quality in some of these posts are terrible.[/color][/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=2][color=#006400]No, as yet, I am [b]not[/b] going to close it, particularly since most of these posts seem to come from Anime Dreamer00 and Video Game Goddess. I [i]strongly [/i]suggest you two extend your posts; one or two line posts are [i]not [/i]acceptable, particularly not in a role playing forum. In future, you need to put a [b]lot[/b] more effort into it. [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=darkgreen]I'm going to suggest that you add more detail to this sign up thread. For example; what is the name of the show? Obviously this story is about the characters (who I assume are the actors?) trying to get the show cancelled, but what else is there? Frankly, I think you need more of a story line and more information in order to stop this RPG from becoming spam. [/color][/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=2][color=#006400][/color][/size][/font] [font=Arial][size=2][color=#006400]I'm not going to close this thread at this point, however, I seriously suggest that you rethink this and go into more detail if you want this RPG to get off the ground. [/color][/size][/font]

[quote name='Dragon Warrior][size=1']the whole Newbie Lounge burnt down in a horrendous, spam-infested reign of fire. [/size][/quote] [font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen] As the leader of the Newbie Forum Patrol, I take great offense to that. Not only was it a horrendous, spam-infested reign of fire, it was [i]fun[/i], too. [Not that I advocate bringing it back. I'm a different person, I swear. I've been reformed...I...I'm not that girl... ... [/color][/size][/font][size=1][color=DarkGreen][i] Pleasedon'tmakemegobacktothereformcentre![/i][/color][/size][color=DarkGreen]][/color]

[size=2][color=DarkGreen]1# Desbreko! [I hope.>.>][/color][/size]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]I don't know if you know this, but I'm not actually a fan of OB fanfics. I think they're often over done and go to great lengths to be funny but aren't. I don't feel that way about this one. This fic has great potential, and I certainly hope you continue it. I will love to see the way that you incorporate the characters -- more particularly, how you make them interact. Very few fanfic writers are willing to take the step to create tangible relationships that may not exist in the real OB World, if that makes sense. You description of action is very good, I must admit. The dialogue is very tight and well done, and the description of the Director is fantastic. Perhaps I'm a little biased, but I particularly adore the gothic style of the Anthology. Please continue, is all I can say. I'm very impressed with this start. [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]Welcome to OB Anthology, UnknownColour. Just a few things for you to note before you start posting; in The Arena, it is important for you to read the stickies at the top of the page. For example, OB Anthology has the OB Anthology Basics thread, which details forum-specific rules, such as the Ratings System. To summarise the ratings system; every thread in OB Anthology must be rated. Any thread that is not rated will be closed, including this one. The good news is, however, that you can recreate this thread with the appropriate rating. Thread closed. [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]#5 -- Avatars? [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]10# The Language Censor[/color][/size][/font]

[quote name='Retribution][size=1]When I was [b]Altron[/b'], I was pretty much a newbie here. I posted mostly in the Battlegrounds and gave a few stabs at posting elsewhere, but that didn't work very well until I left and came back about six months later. I didn't really want a name change for a milestone in my internet development/maturity, I just thought it sounded cooler. It ended up being a rather large change, though.[/size][/quote] [font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen] Yeah, and I always through you were the Altron that had been banned a while before you and kept trying to report you...:p Frankly, you're lucky you're still here, with idiots like me around. :rolleyes: [quote][/color][/size][/font][size=1][b]Red XIII:[/b] The first username of my current account, and the one most people from back in the day see and recall me as, although that leads to the inevitable "I never realised you were still around" comment. Red XIII as you might imagine came from Final Fantasy VII which I had just started playing in or around the time when I wasn't happy with Shadowed Demise any more. I chose this username mainly because I liked the character Red XIII mainly due to the fact I saw some parallels between our personalities.[/quote] [font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen] That was you?!?! I remember you from the days of RPW and Mnemolth...! Well, isn't the world small. ^_^ I guess Screennames are much the same as hair colour. It's stupid but it becomes a very important part of who we are. We identify ourselves by it. For me, my screen name is a big part of my online personality. Although most people have some kind of nickname for me (try spelling Asphyxia every time), Lady Asphyxia is much like my full name. I use it when I'm doing 'formal' business. The rest of the time I'm Lady A, A, or Asphy, and I like that. [/color][/size][/font][/size]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]I know this is terrible, but I saw the image and stated reading even before I realised who wrote it. ...At least you know that you draw people in! Fantastic concept. I particularly like the use of colours as names; Black and white confused me at first but when I got it, I really loved it. Your style at the moment is quite dark and, I guess, sarcastic, which I particularly adore. I have to agree with John on those cliche lines, but I didn't pick any out in Chapter 1 [Fantastic title, by the way!] that immediately made me wince. One thing I do suggest you look at is the character's motivation. I'm just a little bit curious as to why he'd care enough to avenge White if, as he says;[/color][/size][/font][i][font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]a gift from White when we were still young, in love, and giving a fuck about each-other in any capacity. [/color][/size][/font][/i][font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]Other than that, all I have to say is great concept and please continue. [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]Welcome to Arena Underground, mushrumluver. Unfortunately, you have either forgotten or never read the rules of the Underground. Every thread in the Arena [i]must[/i] be rated if it is dealing with a specific RPG -- or in this case, an RPG idea. In future, please do remember the rating. Thread Closed. [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]Ah, I've read something about that before, although don't quote me about where. From what I recall there are only seven [I think] things that can happen to form a plot. ...And with my trusty friend google, here is what I've come up with: [url="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/05/05/AR2005050501385_pf.html"]The link.[/url] My suggestion is that you read the link and then come back to this thread with some discussion, otherwise I will have to close it. ^.~ [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]Just merged these two threads to keep the forum clean. ^.^ -- Asphy. [Thread Still Closed][/color] [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]Welcome to OB Anthology, RockHinata-san. Before posting, I strongly suggest that you read the stickies at the top of the forum; particularly the [b][url="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=44313"]OB Anthology Basics[/url][/b]. Inside the thread are the basic details and rules you need to know about OB Anthology, including (as my colleague has mentioned), the Ratings system. In addition to this are issues on curteousy, such as the following: [/color][/size][/font][font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen][quote][/color][/size][/font][size=2][font=Arial][color=DarkGreen]Please try to limit yourself to one main writing thread if you feel you will be posting your work on a very constant basis. Having several threads at once is a bit much, so it would be preferable that you keep your work in one place.[/quote] In future, please create only one thread for your story. If you want to add a new chapter, just hit the 'edit' button, or, if someone has replied, add a new post. ;) My other piece of advice, although not necessarily a rule, is this: when you post in OB Anthology (or any writing forum), you leave a full line between your paragraphs, like I've done in this post. It makes it easier to read online, and encourages people to read it more than if they just see a big block of text. ^_^ I've merged your posts into the one thread. I hope you'll continue this story, just remember to keep it in the one thread. [/color][/font][/size]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]Since this seems to be about music rather than literature, I'm going to move this to the Music forum. Thread Moved.[/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=DarkGreen]As things go, it's not a bad start, although I must ask why you chose to start the story with the Orcs, rather than the main character? If I had just read the story (rather than the overview), I would have thought that this Gargrukk was the main character and that we'd be following him in the story. The imagery is not bad, and you have a good use of language; rag-tag bunch, and the description of things lying all over the place brings to mind a disorganised, badly run camp full of people who are agressive by nature and who have no inclination to repress that emotion. One of the problems I had when reading this was the language of the Fantasy Universe; things like gobbos and squigs went completely over my head, and because I didn't recognise them, the story often felt a little jibberish at times -- the names weren't 'real' names, they were fantasy ones, and the language was 'fantasy' language. That said, what I did understand was good writing. It was simple but effective (in that it gave a clear view of what was happening), and it was tight and conscise, so it didn't bore the reader. The only other thing that gets me in this is the Ork accent. Is this their accent in the actual series, or did you make it up? If you did make it up, you may want to rethink how you portrayed them, because the entire time, I was imagining the Orks with a cockney accent! So all up, this is a nice beginning! Even if you decide later on in revision not to have this as you first chapter, it would still fit further into the piece, which is great. Your descriptive abilities brought realistic imagery into a fantasy piece, which is great. [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]Hello and welcome to OB Anthology Balmung_sun. Just a couple of things before you get started; I strongly suggest that you read the [b][url="http://www.otakuboards.com/rules.php?"]rules[/url][/b],[url="http://www.otakuboards.com/faq.php?"] [b]FAQ[/b][/url] and the[b] [url="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=44313"]OB Anthology Basics[/url][/b]. The OB Anthology Basics detail the Ratings System used here; basically every thread created in OB Anthology [i]must[/i] have a rating, or it will be closed -- unfortunately this includes your thread. However, you may feel free to recreate this thread with the appropriate rating. Thread closed. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]To everyone here: if you want to join an RPG, go to the [b][url="http://www.otakuboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=48"]Adventure Inn[/url][/b] and sign up for an RPG. I also [i]strongly[/i] suggest that you read the [b][url="http://www.otakuboards.com/showthread.php?t=44317"]Adventure Square Basics[/url][/b] and the[b][url="http://www.otakuboards.com/rules.php?"] rules[/url][/b]. Every thread on Otakuboards must be worthwhile -- one or two word posts aren't acceptable. In addition, double posts are not allowed. On top of that, every thread in the Arena [i]must[/i] be rated for Maturity. An RPG must have a sign up thread in the Adventure Inn. That said, this thread breaks at least three rules. Thread Closed. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2]The problem is that if you ask them to post three times, how good is the quality of the posts going to be? [/size][/font][font=Arial][size=2]I do understand where you're coming from with this. For a long time I've been noticing the decline in posting in OB Anthology, and it can be disheartening. I've been toying with ideas for OB Anthology for a while -- a kind of reward system to encourage better CCs. Nothing set and nothing really planned, just ideas at the moment. The stuff in OB Anthology has real potential and I would love to encourage it. obviously it needs to be developed more and everything is dependant on how people react. [/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=SeaGreen][color=Green]A warning, guys; a little more substance than "I agree" and "That's cool" is needed for this thread to stay open. I strongly suggest that you use this thread for something constructive; why don't you start brainstorming ideas? Also, if so many of you want to play the RPG, why don't one of you make it? If there's another no-substance post in here, I will have to close it. [/color] [/color][/size][/font]

[font=Arial][size=2][color=Green]Since this seems to be a Manga idea (I wonder how I deduced that? :p), I'm going to move it to the Manga Workshop. Thread Moved.[/color][/size][/font]