Writing I feel like a new translation...

[Circ]

Si j'avais/[i]I wish I had[/i]

Si j'avais un couteau, j'en percerais le coeur
de ceux qui n'en ont point
et tel un esprit frappeur
ferais revenir ce qu'ils ont fait fuir au loins

[i]
I wish I had a dagger, to pierce the heart
of those who have none
and just like a poltergeist
claim back what they make ran away
[/i]

Si j'avais un marteau, j'en frapperais les clou
de maisons qui n'existe plus
et où des âmes de vertu
recherchent des jours à jamais disparus

[i]
I wish I had a hammer, to hit on the nails
Of now destroyed house
Where souls of virtue
Are searching for days forover disappeared
[/i]

Si j'avais un pinceau, j'en brosserais le sable
et les berges de rivières aujourd'hui ***échées
comme des fantômes de projets abandonnés
au profit des idées malsaines à jamais insaisissable

[i]
I wish I had a paintbrush, to brush the sand
and banks of rivers today drained
like ghosts of abandonned projects
to dark ideas forever imperceptible
[/i]

Si j'avais un seau, j'y déverserais mon esprit
mes plus noir souvenirs
qui me rongent à n'en plus finir
comme les mineurs de chansons par le passé englouties.

[i]
I wish I had a bucket, to empty my mind
my darkestmemoris
that neverendingly gnaw at me
like miners from old songs eaten away by the past
[/i]

[Phantom]

Repetative, but not bland in any which way. Your rhymes are continuously portrayed in the french side...Try makin it in English first and making the rhymes in english than translate?

Just a suggestion, and one you have probably seen before. Your meaning is almost literal, but its deep, kind of like my work..its almost mindless splaying of thoughts...but you have incorporated the skills of rhymefull poetry. Keep it up..please.

[bra]

Quite a poem.. It is very literal and pleasing to the eyes. Keep upp the good work, and I somewhat agree with Mystic's Knight with the trying to ryme in english, that is one of my challenges too, I'm studying english poetry and I would like to see some poems from you in english first, please!