Writing waste of time

[treton_noir]

here's some trash i wrote. some is old. some is new. some will be featured on my album. others are just free form writing. tell me what you think about it, i guess. asuka thinks its good but i think its crap. post some of yours if you want. oh, and in case some of you have no decency, my writings are copywrite protected so dont screw with them.
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i place my head upon the stone
your hand the breath and i alone
fear to never fear my home
shadows spill and you are gone

i have been dead a time
on this bed of rusted lies

touch my face and feathers spring
from my back for angel wings
to tear apart and fall away
and burn to ash inside the day
---------------------------------
got a head like a hole
ending up with a hole in my head
filled up with nothing
burned out like a fuse

light a candle
and piss on my memory

got a head like a hole
ending up with a hole in my head
filled up with nothing
i'll watch as you scrape me off the wall

hate
consuming my head
hurt
but i forget you dont care

taste of gunpowder on my tongue
bitter, but a welcome result
--------------------------------
woke up and saw the sun today
i hid my eyes and turned away
the morning comes around with blinding light
she'll whisper to the sun to find
she's lived her life asleep inside
the morning comes around with blinding light

and now im just stuck here
staring at the sun
and im wondering who i was
and who i've become

wake up a dream and close her eyes
she'll lie awake and then decline
the morning comes around with blinding light
you dream your dream and wonder why
you cry your tears and drown your eyes
the morning comes around with blinding light

and now im just stuck here
staring at the sun
and im wondering who i was
and who i've become
but i cant stand to shine
so i've got to get away from the sun
-------------------------------------
all i can see
is that im going blind
so hard to breathe
as im sinking again

im home again
face down in the mud
and the torment begins
i cant fight it this time

sitting, screaming
bogged down with your useless emotions
i dont need this from you
but why resist the hate
embrace

pulled down by undertow
inside im drowning
although im hollow
the water is filling me up

choking, drowning
unconcious on the bottom
looking for feeling
tired of being numb

and they just smile
as i struggle
compare myself
to your perfection
i am nothing more than a broken down god
-----------------------------------------
enduring your accusational insignificance
saturating me
body and mind
this experience
a cycle that plagues me like a memory
a place
a sanctuary that holds me
like a womb
feeding me umbelicle
telling me that i am safe
and that you cant hurt me
not here
not now
not while i cling to it
clutching on while i still have the strength
to throw away a leaden grudge
and end a standoff that has come between us
and face the nature of this
-------------------------------------------
yep. its crap, but humor me and tell me what you think and stuff.

[Sui Generis]

Not too bad. Some of the flow sounds forced however which isn't a good thing.

The first one however is just...I don't get it..o.O I don't know, it didn't make sense.

Not really that bad, just not the best! Keep working at it though, you'll get better...

(Besides your work is prolly better than mine)

[treton_noir]

Quote: "others are just free form writing."
i dont know how many college literature and composition courses you have taken, but "free form" means that there is no form. therefore, there is no flow, no rhyme scheme, no anyhting that the author doesnt feel like at that time. the great thing about free form is that you can do anything. as far as meaning, some suggest visual images while others follow the story line to my first album (which also employs time sigantures other than 4/4, so the flow wouldnt follow that), so you probably wouldnt get a meaning without the context. sorry. i should have mentioned that. thank you for the response, though.