My friend!

[Zanarkand Abes]

I have this friend who is going out wih someone who is all wrong for her. He is a bad influence on her, and is not the godliest person I know. They have broken up and gotten back together about 4 times in the past monh. Their longest period together was a week, before they started to have problems again. She is a Christian and teaches little kids and has not been making right choices. She is constantly coming to me and telling me how mad she is at this guy, and complains about how he flirts with everyone else, and that a friend of hers is cheating on her boyfriend with him. She has spent the past week or two telling me how over she is with him, but then she got back together with him the other day. It angers me at how stupid she is being, and I don't know what to say. What do ya'll think I should do?
:flaming:

[Syk3]

They have broken up 4 times in the past month? If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is.

So, yeah, she should break up with him, lol.

[Kent]

Ha,

Thats half the girls out there.

Most of them love the pigs.

Plain and simple, the better looking he is, and the better off she would be with out him, the more shes gonna want him.

Its just how it goes.

[Stitch]

yeah she should definatly braek up with that guy it is obvious that he will hurt her emotionally if she doesen't i think it is quite unfair to her to have to go through the anger and worry over a guy who is gonna treat her like a dirtbag. i went out with a guy like that 13 times and i still went back to him finally i relized i was being stupid and i broke it off for good..... but don't worry about your friend to much it is obvious that these two will not get far in thier relationship
~stitch~

[RicoTranzrig]

[Color=darkblue]It's her decision if she wants to stay or not, but get it to her head that if she's not being treated right, then there's no point to be with that person. It would be better for her to get some time off with a friend to think things through.[/color]

[amibasuki]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by gokents [/i]
[B]Ha,

Thats half the girls out there.

Most of them love the pigs.

Plain and simple, the better looking he is, and the better off she would be with out him, the more shes gonna want him.

Its just how it goes. [/B][/QUOTE]
[FONT=arial]I could say the exact same thing about guys.[/FONT]

[Guest Hikaru Ichijyo]

My advice to you is well quite frankly stay out of it. Don't get involved in a women's affair it will only end up making you look like the bad guy. Let her tough it out and eventually if the girl has any brains she'll get out of the relationship and dump that guy.

But above all things don't get involved, it is best to pick your battles then to jump into one hastily.

[Justin]

I just want to say that first of all, all Christians back-slide from the Lord every now and then. All you can do is pray for her, and if it gets bad enough, show her where she is wrong.

Secondly, it's obvious that she is where she should not be. If she's too blind to see that on her own as it stands, there isn't much help to be given. However, I do recommend that you say something to her. She may not like what you have to say, but doing nothing and not getting involved would would take away your right to complain. You can't complain about something if you don't try to change it.

-Justin

[Dan L]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Justin [/i]
[B]I just want to say that first of all, all Christians back-slide from the Lord every now and then. All you can do is pray for her, and if it gets bad enough, show her where she is wrong.[/B][/QUOTE]

Right on. That kind of reminds me in a vague way of my own recent back-slide from God, which I've recently got out of. The thing is, we often don't even acknowledge to others, and sometimes to ourselves that it's even happening.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Justin [/i]
[B]Secondly, it's obvious that she is where she should not be. If she's too blind to see that on her own as it stands, there isn't much help to be given. However, I do recommend that you say something to her. She may not like what you have to say, but doing nothing and not getting involved would would take away your right to complain. You can't complain about something if you don't try to change it.[/B][/QUOTE]

Absolutely. I believe very strongly that if someone doesn't realise that they're going against God, and you don't tell them, then you may as well be going against God yourself. However that does not mean preach to them (and I don't mean to say that you implied that, Justin ;)), sometimes it's just better to talk to them quietly about this sort of thing, and offer help rather than telling them to "get out of it and repent, or go to hell" (which I know you'd never do, that was just an extreme example)

(obviously I wouldn't approach the situation in the same way if she was a non-Christian.. but hey.. she's not)

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Justin [/i]
[B]-Justin [/B][/QUOTE]

OK.. I didn't mean to quote that.. but doing so was just too funny to edit out..

[::Ex-Soldier::]

It's her choice. Let her do what she want's. If you're a real friend, you'll give her advice, and it she doesn't take it, then fine. They'll break up eventually if they've already came back together 4 times.

[Mitch]

[color=red] Hmm...well, it is her life, and her decisions, no matter how much you care. All you can do is give advice and your opinion, and hope that something of which you say she takes to heart. Other than that, I don't know.[/color]

[Sara]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ::Ex-Soldier:: [/i]
[B]It's her choice. Let her do what she want's. If you're a real friend, you'll give her advice, and it she doesn't take it, then fine. [/B][/QUOTE] [SIZE=1]If you're a real friend, you won't let her do something that will ulitmately hurt her or break her heart.

And above all, never say "I told you so."[/SIZE]

[::Ex-Soldier::]

You don't get it. By letting her do this, she will learn on her own. UNLESS her heart is broken somwhat, then she'll never know how it feels, and she'll just go out with some other guy thats like her ex.

Being hurt is an experience. You need to go through it, to resist other heart-breakers.

[Sara]

[size=1]I should have worded that differently. Your line [b]and it she doesn't take it, then fine.[/b] implied that if she didn't take the advice, just let her be. Perhaps that's what you meant, perhaps not. She [i]will[/i] do what she decides, you can't stop her, and that's true. But I'm saying, don't just leave her be. Be there for her, even if she's upset because of what happened when she didn't take the advice. Thus the 'I told you so.' part.

Hm...I don't know if I made that much clearer.[/size]

[Dan L]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ::Ex-Soldier:: [/i]
[B]Being hurt is an experience. You need to go through it, to resist other heart-breakers. [/B][/QUOTE]

I've never once seen that actually work properly.

Yeah, it's an experience, but it's one that ideally I would want people not to have to go through.. and, as I said, I've never once seen that actually work properly.

[::Ex-Soldier::]

Yeah, sorry sara, I was a bit unclear with what I said too. And yes, being there for them is a must, or else you're really not a good friend.

Deus: It really depends on how much she cares for him...

Forget it, I have no idea what Im talking about. <_<;

[Char!]

[color=teal][size=1][b]Have her pick between you and him. That's my advice.

No, I'm just kidding. I know some people who are [i]kind of[/i] in the same situation as you, so I think you should get involved. Point out the facts: she complains constantly, she's broken up 4 times in the past month, he's not faithful. God, I don't even know this guy, and already I hate him.

She'd be much happier with someone else. Make her aware of these things.


--Mike
"char,char!"[/b][/color][/size]

[Delian]

There is only so much advice and guidance you can give to a person in this kind of situation. If she keeps on running to you for sympathy and advice...and then just turns around and runs back to this guy, then why waste your breath. Next time she complains to you just let her know that you are tired of repeating the same advice to her. If she's too pathetically weak to get rid of him, then she'll learn her lesson the hard way.

[amibasuki]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Deus Ex Machina [/i]
[B]I've never once seen that actually work properly.

Yeah, it's an experience, but it's one that ideally I would want people not to have to go through.. and, as I said, I've never once seen that actually work properly. [/B][/QUOTE]
[FONT=arial]heh, believe me, it's worked before. sometimes if people are stubborn enough, they have to get hurt before they realize that what they're doing isn't exactly best for them. they need actual proof that it's not good for them before they'll listen. [/FONT]

[Justin]

And then some people have to get hurt again(and again and again) before they get it through their craniums not to put themselves it that situation. But you know, that's not everyone.

Sorry; I had to throw that in there.

-Justin

[Dan L]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by amibasuki [/i]
[B][FONT=arial]heh, believe me, it's worked before. sometimes if people are stubborn enough, they have to get hurt before they realize that what they're doing isn't exactly best for them. they need actual proof that it's not good for them before they'll listen. [/FONT] [/B][/QUOTE]

I think Justin pretty much sums up my point in the next quote. Yes, it has worked before, but everyone like this that I've personally known goes through that sort of thing over and over again, but never actually learns anything from it, even if they say they do. Kind of like nearly dying of alcohol poisoning, saying you'll never get drunk again, and then going to the bar the next day. I've seen way too much of that too.

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Justin [/i]
[B]And then some people have to get hurt again(and again and again) before they get it through their craniums not to put themselves it that situation. But you know, that's not everyone.

Sorry; I had to throw that in there.

-Justin [/B][/QUOTE]