am i drowning?

[SSJ5 Vegeta]

I'm really scared. I've been depressed for about 2 weeks straight, and if you knew me you'd know that ain't right. I'm one of those people that can feel bad for a little while and shake it off. I'm one of those people that don't give up, that hold other people up like their friends and family when they feel like giving up. For the past two weeks I've gotten no sleep, falling asleep at about 4-5am (my alarm clock is set at 5:45) when my eyes finally close, the tension blindsiding me from somewhere like two dull stones on each side of my stomach GrInDiNg.

Things have been going good with me and my g/f. A few arguments here and there but nothing out of the ordinary. But I just feel all this s*** bringing me down and if it keeps going on like this I think I am finally going to for the first time in my life just totally give up and break down. I feel like each day just finds a way to tear more of me away. And even though everything is going good in my relationship, I still feel some unexplained tension.

As my eyes grow numb from staring at this screen I bid you all goodnight, get some rest, for tonight I will get none. I feel like I am struggling to keep my head above the water, the ever closing tide of gloom closing in around me begging me to take my life.... And I ask am I drowning?

[Guest Hikaru Ichijyo]

:( Sigh it's post like this that make me come out of retirement. First off I'm sorry to hear your going through such a rough depression. I've been in your place on various occassions actually I'm going through one myself now. It's certainly not fun to be up till late hours of the night with things on your mind that you wish you didn't have on the noggin.

I think though, if nothing wrong is going on in the relationship you shouldn't dewl on these bad hunches. They say negative energy brings about bad occurances. Don't dewl on this uncertainty its only going to bring on more stress and depression.

Look at it this way, I hate to use myself in this example but I'm going to show you how much better your life is then my own right now. That way you'll definitely feel better about yourself.

1.)I'm single, your not! First major difference in which you should not be depressed.

2.)The only female friends I have, seemed to contort my every word and like to do nothing more then fight with me!

3.)You could be working double shifts, and then have to run two major websites by yourself giving yourself very little personal time on the net.

4.)I'm pretty sure you have people that want you around in your life, I don't!

5.)I live alone, my only childhood friends have moved far away meaning I have no one not even a single friend left in NYC.

Now comparing my life to yours, honestly yours doesn't look so bad. Be cheerful, be thankful you have a girl friend take your arugments in stride what doesn't kill us makes us stronger they say. Trust me your far from drowning, don't pull yourself into that abyss they call self pity and depression its somewhere you don't want to visit.

We all go through depression that's natural what we do because of it though isn't. I hope this pep talk has helped you somewhat.

--Kevin

[amibasuki]

[FONT=arial]is there any particular reason why you're so depressed? if not, then it's probably just a chemical embalance (sp?). it should right itself after a while. if you've had serious past depression though, you might want to take further steps.

also, if you haven't already done so, talk to your girlfriend about what's going on. the tension you're talking about might be coming from that your girlfriend's wondering what's wrong with you. if you've been kinda dumpy around her, she might think that you're upset with her or something.[/FONT]