RPG Bordem101 - The Funingninlynessing

[Alley Catt]

[COLOR=blue]Skye felt absolutely lost. One minute she was interrogating the cookie maker about her friend, then she was whisked away into a space ship and a part on an intergalactic cookie conspiracy. She had to admit though, finding a guy who does not wield to the power of her pencil was pretty impressive, shame it had to be a dog.

Skye spent the rest if the day looking through the odd looking space vehicle. The decorations needed a little more black, but other than that, this would be the perfect place to det up her ?EVIL WORD DESTROYER? headquarters.

Skye: This will do nicely, yes, very nicely indeed.
All I need now is a stash of stationary and the all important pencil! Stabatha is back!
[/COLOR]

[enigma]

[COLOR=blue][I]Hairy looked up in the air and dropped the salesman in his mouth. His eyes widened as he saw the ship in the air and began to howling.

"No, NOO, NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OW OW OWWWW!"

He then rolled 100m to the DOGMOBILE and jumped in the ship through a hoop, when a small treat dropped from a hatch and a machine stroked him on the back. He put the pedal to the metal and flew towards Troy's and the others ship.
______________________________________________________________________
On the other ship....

"How long till we get to the Mob guy."
"About 5 minutes."
"Hey, do you hear something."

The crew aboard the ship began to hear the theme song 'Avenge of the angels', but instead the music was played by......barking noises.

"Ah crap. It's Hairy."
"What's that beeping noise on the screen thing?"
"I believe he's shooting gigantic dog bones at us. Looks like they have meaty bits in them."
"Must be pedagry pal ammunition".

Hairy-"Abandon me will they? Leave me out in the cold and wet for the fleas to eat me alive. They know how sensetive my coat is to fleas without my fleabath!!!"[/COLOR][/I]

[Lilac oranges]

cookelgook decided to follow random drains in an attempt to find j.clark who she still hoped was an ISB wanting to be died black, unfortunately this landed her in a purple padded room with an orange and purple polka dotted straight jacket in the corner, she'd always wanted a purple and orange polka dotted straight jacket so she stored it safely in her duckie towel and attempted to find her way out again. this time she found herself on erotican seven with a triple breasted whore and decided this would be a good time to bring out the choclate body paint....

[The Unholy Newt]

[i]With no other choice, Troy activated the Improbability Drive. Suddenly, Hairy's ship turned into a bowl of semi-intelligent azalias and randomly transported him to several places at once.

Meanwhile, back on the ship, they had reached the local mob boss, Al Caponolopolisarakkatakkamart. After paying the fee for protection and a illegal business license, the group departed to go HQ shopping.

Eventually they found a nice place in the south quarter of the city which had a seperate office for each of them. Placing the robot as a bouncer out the front, they got to business. They placed all the stolen cookies in the top secret vault that had come with the place and start hiring all the people they'd need; janitors, hired goons, secretaries and other basic staff they'd need to set up an illegeal cookie racqueteering business.[/i]

[enigma]

OOC: In case you haven't figured it out yet, my guy has changed a little. He's keeping all the old stuff the same, but he has the added insentive of being a guy who thinks he's a dog.

IC:[COLOR=blue][I]Floating in space, surrounded by semi-intelligent azalias in a gigantic bowl, all whilst being tied to a Ronald McDonald statue. Again.

"Damn it, this always happens to me! Oh well, I'll guess I'll go on my next quest. To find out what the secret ingredient in Coca-Cola is. Uhh, wait a minute. How am I going to get out of here? Heloo?? HELLOO? HHHHHEEEEEEELLLLOOOOOOOOOOO??????????"[/COLOR][/I]

[The Unholy Newt]

[Later that night at "Ye Olde Cookie Factore (I spelt factory wrong on purpose)]

[i]Troy slid down the rope through the hatch in the roof. He felt something touching his neck. He was just about to run for it when he realised what it was. He pulled the tag off his newly bought balaclava and waited for the other three to come down. Once Rae, Sky and Robot (Who shall henceforth be known as Mr Robotto), they started loading the boxes of various cookies onto the crane run by Krab and Gnarak. One by one until all were gone, they kept loading. They then went for the Golden Cookies, the Lord of all Cookies. Two guards were guarding the not-so-secret vault. Once the plan had messily formed in his head, Troy jumped out and yelled "Look a distraction!" While they were distracted, he ran up and fhwapped both of them with a "Holy Mackerel". They then opened the vault, loaded all the crates onto the crane and made their escape, all the time aware if the Security Camera where *supense music* "Hairy McLairy from Donaldson's Dairy"
was watching them from his secret dog kennel lair . . .[/i]

[Alley Catt]

[COLOR=indigo]Skye, Troy and her little sister waved goodbye to the little man dog and made there escape. This plentiful supply of Golden Cookies would sell for thousands on the golden market. Just let dog man try to stop them, Skye had her pencils sharpened and ready to go.

After there new supply of goods had been loaded onto Troys ship they realised they had not factored into their plan one little thing. WHERE WERE THEY GONNA FIT! Troys ship was filled to the brim with boxes and crates.

Skye looked really peeved, would she ever got to destroy the evil word?[/COLOR]

[Guest cloricus]

OOC:
---
Mission Status -

Who stole the cookie from the cookie "factor" vault - ?
Plushies, and ISB's - ?
Escaping Mental Asylum's - rokas, Sara.
Just unknown? - Orien_Xel <-- Could you please redo your starting post.)
Unknown but funny - EVERY ONE NOT MENTIONED SO FAR!!!
Thinking - ?
Users still to post their benign post - darkfreak0304
New people - <-- Common new ppls come and join!!!
People in Newts imagination - Mr. Robotto

---
Newbie note:
People still to join can you please do your first post like every one else has and then go off to a mission. :P
---
MOTD:
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!
---
How long has been running:
3days still not closed yet.
---
Comment corner:
Day Three = Do you really want a comment...

-Lord Epssy

[enigma]

[COLOR=blue][I]As Hairy McLairy (from Donaldson's Dairy) watched the survailence tapes, he rolled over onto his back and said,

"To heck with the coke quest for now, just seeing all those cookies have made me uhhhhh (drools all over himselfZ). ARGH!! DAmn fleas! They get everywhere on you." he complained, scratching himself and rubbing his back against a pole. "OOhhhh, that's good."

He pushed the big bone button, and was flung out of his kennel.
___________________________________
Elsewhere.....(the factore)

"Quick! We gotta get out of here before someone catches us."
"Don't worry, the only thing that can stop us now is the giant monkey jet powered space ape whose vile greasy fat clutches can squeeze a humungous banana right out of it's skin while performing the jamacan rum dance wearing a fez pez hat playing the harmonica allst while balancing on a unicycle listening to the hooked on phonics monkey tape eating his banana stepping on his plush toy and his ability to crush things with his stomach watching the magilla gorilla show played by Al McPharson chewing a piece of grass talking to his old pal Mr Ted the talking moose nostril. That and security guards."
"Okay I'm going to be walking this way now."
"Hey, do you here something?"

(Softer to louder noise as something approaches)"woooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF" SMACK! Hairy McLairy (from Donaldson's Dairy) flew threw the window and onto the floor.

Hairy-"COOOKIIES! So many cOOOOKIIEEESS!!!!!"

Hairy jumped up, his tongue dangling from his drooling mouth, and took a handful of golden cookies from the thiefs with his mouth.

Skye-"Bad HAIRY! THa'ts a BAD hairy McLairy!!!!!"[/COLOR][/I]

[Guest cloricus]

Just then out of the air a really cool looking super-huge-mega-h4rdc0re-thingy spaceship came and slammed in to the ground for not apparent reason right next to the group with the cookies. Through some really weird mix of improbably and general mish mash theory they and their cookies were not destroyed although every thing else was.
Jake: You have cookie for me...?
Was what they heard from the spaceship's microphone. The same reasons above meant that the spaceship had no damage.
The steps to the ship opened, as if waiting for a reply...

-Lord Epssy

[marbar]

Suddenly, a patch of seemingly nothing in front of the ship glows an eerie shade of intelligent blue. The spectators stand amazed as an angel choir appears to sing a rousing chant and a rift appears in the light. One person drops down on all fours to praise the light (actually it was only Hairy McLairy so it doesn't really count). The rift continues to grow, pushing the light outwards. A man steps out, a monkey man - with the body of a man but the prehensile tail of a monkey.

The mood is shattered; a loud, offensive belch breaks through the glorious singing. The new arrival staggers through the crowd, jamaican rum bottle clutched firmly in hand, and finds the only wall still standing. As the once-adoring crowd turns around, they hear a fly being pulled down and monkeyman assumes the universal stance of every drunk man when they urinate (legs apart, body slanting forward, arm outstretched, hand touching wall).

The crowd continue to watch the intruder as he creates a dark patch on the wall.

Jake: Errm, what was i saying again?

[The Unholy Newt]

ooc: Shield you're eyes children, it's godmodding time!

[i]Suddenly the room filled with big scary security guards each armed with a "Holy Mackerel."[/i]

Troy: Leave this to me guys!

*Bang*

*Pow*

*Kablammo*

*Bort*

*10 seconds later*

[i]All the security guards lie unconcious in a huge heap with Troy standing on top looking triumphant. The other two look on in awe.[/i]

Troy: Come on, let's get out of here

--------------------------------------------

ooc: teeheehee, I've always wanted to do that. *Praise the godmodding rule suspension!*

~TUN

[Lilac oranges]

Chookelgook hears the deafening silence, caused by monkey man's unexpected arrival and defecation, and heads to its source....by the time she arrives all she finds is monkey man almost approaching sober. She asks him what caused the deafening silence. she hears a rather garbelled version of why monkey man ended where he was...the ISB was his mother and she was throwing him out of home (for the 37646627881984377574 time!) when Chookelgook learns that there had been an ISB on the scene she starts a little dance, when she finds that monkey man is the son (*monkey man is male isn't he?*) of an ISB she hugs him and IMMEDIATETLY regrets this decision. After handing monkey man an extra strong tic tac, she tried to ask monkey man where his mum had gone....he refused to respond so she tried to bribe him with some Jamaica rum that just happened to be squiggling past. This only succeeded in making him drunk again.....

[DuoMax]

*runs and grabs the rum* THAT IS MINE! thank you...* he begins guzzling the rum*

[enigma]

[COLOR=blue][I]With Hairy McLairy (from Donaldsons Dairy) satisfied with the taste of golden cookies in his mouth, there was only one thing he was yet to eat in life. The giant monkey jet powered space ape whose vile greasy fat clutches can squeeze a humungous banana right out of it's skin while performing the jamacan rum dance wearing a fez pez hat playing the harmonica allst while balancing on a unicycle listening to the hooked on phonics monkey tape eating his banana stepping on his plush toy and his ability to crush things with his stomach watching the magilla gorilla show played by Al McPharson chewing a piece of grass talking to his old pal Mr Ted the talking moose nostril.

"Hmm, nostril."

The only problem was, he didn't know where to find the giant monkey jet powered space ape whose vile greasy fat clutches can squeeze a humungous banana right out of it's skin while performing the jamacan rum dance wearing a fez pez hat playing the harmonica allst while balancing on a unicycle listening to the hooked on phonics monkey tape eating his banana stepping on his plush toy and his ability to crush things with his stomach watching the magilla gorilla show played by Al McPharson chewing a piece of grass talking to his old pal Mr Ted the talking moose nostril. But there were rumors that he lived with in fire hydrant valley, home to Hairy McLairy's (from Donaldson's dairy) one of many weaknesses, fire hydrants. No dog man could resist the...uhh....redness of it. Yeah, that's it! The redness.

So Hairy started to trot away with a golden cookies in his mouth and began to search for the fabled giant monkey jet powered space ape whose vile greasy fat clutches can squeeze a humungous banana right out of it's skin while performing the jamacan rum dance wearing a fez pez hat playing the harmonica allst while balancing on a unicycle listening to the hooked on phonics monkey tape eating his banana stepping on his plush toy and his ability to crush things with his stomach watching the magilla gorilla show played by Al McPharson chewing a piece of grass talking to his old pal Mr Ted the talking moose nostril.[/COLOR][/I]

[The Unholy Newt]

[b]How to Leave the Planet[/b]

1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (731) 483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.
2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you have in the White House - (202) 456-1414 - to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends at the White House, phone the Kremlin (Ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

[b]The Universe - some information to help you live in it.

1 Area:[/b] Infinite.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word 'infinite'.
Infinite: [i]Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real 'wow' thats big' time. Infinity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by collosal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.[/i]

[b]2 Imports:[/b] None.
[i]It is impossible things into an infinte area, there being no outside to import things from.[/i]

[b]3 Exports:[/b] None.
[i]See Imports.[/i]

[b]4 Population[/b] None.
[i]It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number if inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe is said to be zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.[/i]

[b]5 Monetary Units:[/b] None.
[i]In fact there are three freely convertible currencies in the galaxy, but none of them count. The Altairian Dollar has recently collapsed, the Flainian Pobble Bead is only exchangable for other Flainian Pobble Beads and the Triganic Pu has it's own very special problems. It's exchange rates of eight Ningis to one Pu is simple enough, but since a Ningi is a triangular rubber coin six thousand eight hundred miles along each side. no one has ever collected enough to own one Pu. Ningis are not negotiable currency, because the Galactibanks refuse to deal in fiddling small change. From this basic premise it is very simple to prove that the Galactibanks are also the product of a deranged imagination.[/i]

[b]6 Art:[/b] None.
[i]The function of art is to hold a mirror upto nature, and there ismply isn't a mirror big enough - see point one.[/i]

[b]7 Sex:[/b] None.
[i]Well in fact there is an awful lot of this, largely because of the total lack of money, trade, banks, are, or anything else that might keep all the non-existent people of the Universe occupied.
However, it is not worth embarking on a long discussion of it now because it is terribly complicated. For more information see[/i] Guide [i]Chapters seven, nine, ten, eleven, fourteen, sixteen, seventeen, nineteen, twenty-one to eighty-four inclusive, and in fact most of the rest of the Guide.[/i]

[b]Important facts from Galactic History, number one:[/b]
(Reproduced from the [i]Siderial Daily Mentioner's Book of Popular Galactic History.)[/i]

The night sky over the planet Krikkit is the least interesting sight in the entire Universe.

[b]Important facts from Galactic History, number two:[/b]
(Reproduced from the [i]Siderial Daily Mentioner's Book of Popular Galactic History.)[/i]

Since this Galaxy began, vast civilizations have arisen and fallen, risen and fallen, risen and fallen so often that it's quite tempting to think that life in the Galaxy must be
(a) something akin to seasick - spacesick, timesick, historysick or some such thing, or
(b) stupid.

[color=purple]~TUN[/color]

[Guest cloricus]

OOC:
---
Mission Status -

People on new unknown mission - Every one... (Except lilac, this is the mission she has been on since the beginning.)
(I've set the basic mission, some one build on it.)
Who stole the cookie from the cookie "factor" vault - Mission Complete...
Plushies, and ISB's - Plushies Complete, ISB's lilac.
Escaping Mental Asylum's - rokas, Sara. <-- Still escaping.
Just unknown? - Orien_Xel
Thinking - ?
Users still to post their benign post - darkfreak0304
New people - Marbar.
People in Newts imagination - Mr. Robotto

---
Newbie note:
People still to join can you please do your first post like every one else has and then go off to a mission. (Also for Marbar's sake, put a sign up in the signup thread.) :P
---
MOTD:
Well this got weird quick, time to get off this crappy planet and eat our entire golden coo... Um, Uh hem, I mean do our next mission...
---
How long has been running:
5days - Holy cr*p we have no lives...
---
Comment corner:
Day five = Yay, time for some fun!


---
IC:

From his damn-extra-cool-sweet-mega-hardcore spaceship Jake had been watching in sock at the group that he kept running in to, they in turn kept running in to each other. Which Jake guessed correctly would of coursed allot of pain and burses.
Jake: Um I think we should get of this planet!
He said from the ship.
Other is area: Us?
They said from the planet.
Jake: Well I was talking to the cookies, but you guys being the cookie bringers I suppose that you can come too...
Others: Um okay... *Making crazy signs to each other and indicating that's what they thought of the man on the ship...*
Jake: Bring the drunken guy, he'll help work the engines^...
(^The engine worked like the improbability and bristromath types but was introduced because it was easier. It was easier because "If you have just spent a long hard day hitch hiking would you really be bothered eating at a fake restaurants of turning in to things, well why not have a drink with friends - introducing the Drink-O-Drive..." Was what the ad said any way...)
The others wearily walked up on to the ship followed by the drunken guy with a tail. As soon as the drunken guy came on the ship went mad, the engines over loaded. They were flung half way across the galaxy. Smack bang in the middle of a small colony of ISB's who were being attacked by bill gates for piracy. Gates was inturn being attacked by the IRS and the Tax Office for not filing his correct money amount in his tax return8.
(8 The Tax return was in fact incorrect, Gates had filled it correctly, but every one in the Tax office that saw the large numbers involved died, so they took it that he lied...)

-Lord EpSsy

[The Unholy Newt]

ooc: Epssy, the cookie mission is far from complete. Me Rae and Alley still have a huge evil conglomerate empire to build and a Hairy Mclairy (from Donaldson's Dairy) to attempt to thwart our diabolical plans. And also, Mr Robotto is not an imaginative person. He is Rae's android.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

ic:

[i]Hairy hung upside down by his legs in Troy's (Who will now be known Dr. Newt)secret underground lair.[/i]

N: Bwahahahahahahaha! You are unable to stop us Agent M (M = Mclairy) our fake cookies are already on their way to stores to be consumed by naive little children. There is nothing you can do to thwart our plans this time.

M: You'll pay for this Dr. Newt.

N: You just keep thinking that McLairy. Robotto, dispose of him.

[i]Mr Robotto advances on Mclairy, cracking his robotic knuckles . . .[/i]

[Guest cloricus]

OOC: WHAT??? So whom do I have on my spaceship?
Okay every one that is NOT Newt Alley Hairy Rea, is on my spaceship.
NO ARGUEING...
(Not the people escaping the metal asylum that is.)
Waits for Lilac...

IC:
After crashing on the planet and having being surrounded by ISB's a message came from Gates big spaceship thingy...
Gates: Resistance is Futile; you will be turned into money!
Chookelgook then appears to have an idea...

-Lord EpSsy

[enigma]

OOC: DAMMIT NEWT! If you had bothered to read my posts, you would have found that I am no longer on the cookie mission, for I have been satisified with the taste of cookie in my mouth, and I have now gone on a different mission. To eat the fabled giant monkey jet powered space ape whose vile greasy fat clutches can squeeze a humungous banana right out of it's skin while performing the jamacan rum dance wearing a fez pez hat playing the harmonica allst while balancing on a unicycle listening to the hooked on phonics monkey tape eating his banana stepping on his plush toy and his ability to crush things with his stomach watching the magilla gorilla show played by Al McPharson chewing a piece of grass talking to his old pal Mr Ted the talking moose nostril.

So fix your post.

P.S. I think someone should make a QFG2 RPG.

[DuoMax]

*jumps into the lab, kicking mr. robboto in the teeth and beating newt to death with a wet noodle*
Omi:fear not! I have come ot recue you!!"

[enigma]

OOC: DuoMax- uhh, what exactly is it your character does? all he's been doing is popping in and out to drink, and hits mr robotto. This is an RPG, and I think it's spam to write poor posts in an RPG.

Oh and cookie offenders, beware for my mission will be your down fall. MWAHAHAH COUGH COUGH HAHA!!

IC:[COLOR=blue][I]As Hairy McLairy (from Donaldson's Dairy) escaped the factory, he called a taxi and jumped in.

Driver- "Where to?"
Hairy- "Ruff Ruff woof bark bark ruff meow ruff!"
Driver- "Ok, Fire Hydrant Valley it is."

The taxi drove foward, and the cashometer starting to go up. The taxi man, who was a talking hippopotamus, pressed a button, and the dollar sign on the cashometer changed to a picture of kibble.

As the car approached the other side of the city of barkville, home of the flying noodle, Hairy McLairy (from Donaldson's Dairy) became edgy, VERY edgy. He began to scratch his ear (with his foot of course) and began rolling all over his seat.

Driver-"We're at the entrance of Fire Hydrant Valley. That will be 3 meaty chunks please."

Hairy payed the hippo and stepped out of the car, and saw in the distance, millions of fire hydrants, guarded by the fabled giant monkey jet powered space ape whose vile greasy fat clutches can squeeze a humungous banana right out of it's skin while performing the jamacan rum dance wearing a fez pez hat playing the harmonica allst while balancing on a unicycle listening to the hooked on phonics monkey tape eating his banana stepping on his plush toy and his ability to crush things with his stomach watching the magilla gorilla show played by Al McPharson chewing a piece of grass talking to his old pal Mr Ted the talking moose nostril.[/COLOR][/I]

[Guest cloricus]

OOC:
---
Mission Status -

BLANK - Every one on some weird thing, help I need to know what the hell is going on?

---
Newbie note:
People still to join can you please do your first post like every one else has and then go off to a mission. :P
---
MOTD:
I forgot about this after being away for a week and now that I'm back reading over the story line so far it is scary but I guess it could continue...
---
How long has been running:
No idea...
---
Comment corner:
Day ??? = Some one count up what day we are up to?

---

IC:
Jake: GET OUT, EVERY BODY OUT!!!
All the people that Jake had forced on to the ship were now being forcibly removed on to the weird planet (inhabited by ISB?s) by the newest character, Mr. Roboto Version 2... (AHEM that means he's better than Newts Mr. Roboto...)
Jake had got a headache from the complexity of the madness of the universe and the select group he had just run in to and then thought to him self, I need to find me a monkey that drinks rum, or the closest thing I can get to that...
He then proceeded to fly away from the planet and from some odd reason bill gates followed him, saving the ISB's.

[marbar]

[b]OOC:[/b] [i]"i need to find me a monkey that drinks rum"[/i] ... If I had a dollar everytime someone said that ...

The constant repitition of that single sentence by Enigma, aaahh, the wonders of copy and paste.

[b]IC:[/b]
The Drunken Monkeyman staggered off the ship, belching loudly and scratching his... no, I won't go there. After Mr. Robotto (Version Two) pushed all the passengers off the ship, they started walking to the ISB village in the distance. There they were taken hostage by the ISB town guards. Moving down the line, the ISB police sergeant inspected the prisoners, getting a little distracted by the kinky babblefish. He got to the end of the line to find someone missing. There was mumbling behind him. The police chief turned around and saw the Drunken Monkey Man searching his filing cabinet muttering, "There's got to be booze here somewhere."
The ISB visibly paled (not that hard considering he is just a colour) and swore under his breath, "Oh no, he's back!"
The DMM turned around holding a bottle of gin in his paws (unsuprisingly successful in his search - he can smell ethanol) and cheerily called out to the ISB, "Hey, you haven't seen my mum around, have ya?" before vomitting on the carpet.