Pressure Posted December 1, 2002 Share Posted December 1, 2002 [color=purple]I can't stand it anymore, I always feel like I am living up to someone else's standards. And when I'm living up to mine, I can't because I set them too high. But more than not, I feel like I am never good enough. Last night, I spent half and hour on the phone with my friends Jimmy and Jeff, to see if they wanted to go to Rock N Bowl with us. He said he'd think about it, and my friend and I told him he had a half an hour to think about it. We ran across an interstate to get to my house at 9 oclock at night, ripped through all the rooms in my house, and counted out 17 dollars in quarters. At 9:45 we ran over to the Metro in 38-40 degree weather, and got the change turned into paper money. We ran up to the local bowling alley at 10 clock, and called them. Jeff, who I did this all for, I wasn't going to go unless he did, flat out refused to come. I was devestated. When I hung up the phone I went into the bowling alley and cried for 10 minutes straight. No matter what any of my friends told me, I couldn't, and still can't shake the feeling that it was because I wasn't good enough. That I'm not good enough to hang out with, or be friends with. I'm not pretty enough, I'm not skinny enough, I'm not smart enough. I don't know what it is, but I always feel like I'm just annoying everyone around me, like I am the pebble in everyone's shoe. I always feel like no one wants me around, but no one will tell me. I hate it.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikey Posted December 1, 2002 Share Posted December 1, 2002 Same here. What I do is; I talk to that person. Ask him why he didn't go, if he tells me that I'm not good enough, I'm ugly, I embarres him infront of everybody. It could be like his mom and dad, or one of his relitives. If you cant do that: Get to where he'll like you. If that's too much work, take it done with somebody else. Make him jeulis, then he should come cralling back to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schrat Posted December 1, 2002 Share Posted December 1, 2002 Maybe your freind just didnt feel like going, it shouldnt put u down that much. If he doesnt want to hang out with you for what you are, then find some new freinds. but im sure he was just in a bad mood or something. Btw, whats a rock n bowl? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
::Ex-Soldier:: Posted December 1, 2002 Share Posted December 1, 2002 I know how you feel, and I've learned to live with it. It's not big deal. There's no real way to deal with it. Or maybe there is and I just don't know it. My only advice would be for you to talk it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorykoAngelcry Posted December 1, 2002 Share Posted December 1, 2002 [COLOR=darkred][SIZE=1]Could it be that you are putting more on this because of everything you went through to put that night together? You sound like you did quite a bit of running around to turn out with nothing to show for it (well, at least nothing that you were expecting). I am not saying this to sound mean in the least, but I know when I would plan a party where only five or six people show up, it tends to wear on me. I don't know what kind of personality you have in real life, but maybe you are thinking it's your fault that he didn't show up? I don't know any way to get you any resolution to your problem. Maybe he just wanted to be alone that night. . Anyways, I don't mean to presume anything, even though that is just what I did. . you really can't let yourself start thinking things like that though. And Schratn9 -- I am guessing Rock n Bowl is like Cyber Bowling in Tennessee -- it's where they kill the lights, play some more rock/alternative style of music, and throw on laser lights, strobe lights, and black lights. It's pretty cool, a good way to make bowling look hipper then many think it to be ^_^ Lots of fun too. [/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 I suggest that you follow Spikey's advice. Vent your feelings to him, tell him all the hassle you went through and how you feel. Ask him why you couldn't both go together. If you're feeling uncomfortable around your own friends, it's better to discuss your uneasiness with them than to go on, trapping it all up inside. I'm sure that they'll listen, that's what friends are for. But, it's important that you don't look down upon yourself. By suspecting that your friends harbor such feelings toward you, you're demonstrating an inferiority complex: insecurity and lack of confidence. I'd say that it's important to convince [I]yourself[/I] that you're not too fat, or unintelligent, or annoying, because quite frankly, we're often hardest on ourselves. As for Jeff, perhaps he has a crush on you, and felt a little uneasy about spending time with you alone. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [color=#507AAC]It sounds like your friend was just being a petty little brat. If one of my friends did that, I'd let them stew in their own juices and go out and have fun for myself. Screw 'em, I say. It's easy to take thing personally, in the sense that what your friends do is a reflection on you. But you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Try to cheer up. ^.^ By the way...you should come on AIM. I need to talk to you.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [color=crimson]James took the words right out of my mouth. Your friend was a jerk, and if he flat out refused, then that means he was planning not to go along the first time you asked. I should know, I used to do stuff like that to my friends--but it didn't take me long to figure out I was hurting them. :( Anyways, I wouldn't say take any action against him--don't get caught up on revenge or putting yourself down because of what he did. Definitely explain to him that he hurt your feelings, but try not to make it a dramatic thing--he'll just get more defensive. Best of luck. It should smooth over in the end. :)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstorture Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [color=darkgreen][font=gothic]I somehow doubt that he would decide not to go on the basis of "she's just not good enough for me." It would probably go more along the lines of "I don't want to be seen with that stupid cow." If you really think that this is the case, poison his cat (if he doesn't have a cat, poison his family), and then burn his house down when he's at the hospital, because he's just not good enough for you. [/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raquel Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 Raven dear... I don't think she wants to join our train of thoughts... If I were to think like a rational, normal person... I'd say to ask him politely about it... Then... Depending on his awnser, beat the cra- I mean do what either Spikey of James said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenstorture Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [color=darkgreen][font=gothic]I think that she has enough intellect to decide for herself, and sure, risk incarceration and go with my idea - but he screwed you over girl, and so why not have fun with it? In my opinion, everyone else is really boring. Follow your flamethrower - I mean, heart. [/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicoTranzrig Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [COLOR=darkblue]I've talked to you a few times in the past and you seem to be a very nice person, especially when I wrote that scene for a past RPG we did, you told me how it bothered you and I apoligized and we settled it quickly. You can do the same...I hope you feel better and take it easy.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 I've felt like that for a long time, I dont know what to tell you about how to deal with it. I still haven't figured out how to deal with it myself. But I can tell you this, you aren't alone. You aren't odd and you dont need to feel like you are. I dont think anyone can really deal with those sorts of feelings with out trouble, but I hope you can manage. We all feel like that sometimes, and just remember that things always get better. I wish I could put my feelings across better, but there are limits to what I can do with the net. Typing on here will never be enough to get across truely heart felt thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinetic Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [color=darkblue] I deal with this a lot in my life, and I think that many of my "friends" don't really like to have me around, but at the bottom of my gut, I have the feeling that I'm just fooling myself into being depressed. It happens nearly every day. All I can say, is that you should talk to them and see what was going on, and if it was because of their sour attitude, I would forget them, but if their close to you, I would say that you would need to find some way to make yourselves have better attitudes toward each other, but I wouldn't know how. I would usually give up, but that's just me and I hope that everything works out for you. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foredaddy Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 Well this is what you need to do. 1. Lose 20 pounds 2. Consult a Magic Mirror for advice 3. Repeat Works everytime! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 fore daddy, from your above remarks, I would say your an ***. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrist cutter Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 Why is everyone calling her friend an ***? He said he'd think about it, that's a valid response. They gave him half an hour. He thought for half an hour. They call back, he thought about it, and decided he wasn't going to go. The guy doesn't want to go. Where's the crime? I personally don't think there's any big conspiracy going on against you here, the guy just didn't feel like going is all. And as I see it there's nothing wrong with that, either... so, I fail to see where all this emotion comes from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [color=#507AAC]It's hard to say without being there to witness the situation. Either way, it's clear that DBZChikaGhan is taking it too personally. Having said that, if my friends had gone to a lot of trouble to take me out...I'd go. I'm not going to be some stupid arrogant idiot and say "Hmph, I don't want to go now. Blah". But at the same time, I can see how manybe DBZChikaGhan is making more of the situation than it might be. In reality, it's hard to know. Still, the message is clear. I don't think DBZChikaGhan has to feel bad about herself for this...and that was her problem in the first place.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [color=deeppink] [size=1]hmm.. for one thing, I wouldn't have done all that without being absolutely sure my friend wanted to go or not. ^_- ------------- Blah, the same thing has happened to me before, except my friend said he'd show up, but didn't show up, when his girlfriend, me, and alot of his/my/her friends went out to the mall. We looked around for him for three hours, and bearly got a chance to shop. My friends were pretty mad at him for a few days, they called him some pretty nasty stuff... His girlfriend and I went up to him one day, and we asked him why he didn't come. We then found out his oldest brother died in a car accident that day. He was really, really depressed... His friends felt terrible afterwards, too... So.. here's a few points I'm trying to make. 1) Don't get mad until you figure it all out, the situations always depend on what you should/should not do. 2) It wasn't that bad, was it? [/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 Well, I know its a bit premature of me to mention this, but I dont think this feeling she has was simply from one incodent. I think this was probally the peak of a long hard time. Things like this dont bother you unless your already bothered by other things. She mentioned all the things that were bothering her, and I think they are valid reasons that many people feel and have felt. I would like to hear some more about exactly what is being felt besides the usual stuff or the things that were mentioned, but the bottom line is... I want to be a nice person in this and not just a jerk trying to trivialize the feelings homegirl is having. I just feel bad. I know that sometimes its not just a single thing that makes people feel bad. Its dozens of events like this one that eventually get to a person. Make them feel bad and eventually, the smart ones of us, vent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zeh Posted December 2, 2002 Share Posted December 2, 2002 [COLOR=royalblue]I'll share some advice with yah ChicaGhan, This may almost sound like you're being the jerk here, but just try it, you'll be suprised with the results! Ingnore him for a few days, don't approach him at all. See if he comes and talks to you, if you were the only person keeping the "friendship" together, then it was one-sided from the start. If he does come and talk to you, ask him about what happened, if there was a reason why he didn't want to come, and tell him alllll the hard work you did to try and put this time together for you and him. Or some for something else, just pull him in somewhere and make him read this. [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pressure Posted December 3, 2002 Author Share Posted December 3, 2002 [color=purple]Thank you all so much for what you've said. Here is what I did, since I did this BEFORE I read any of your advice, may or may not have been a smart thing, I shall never know. Anyways.. I came very late to school today, there were only like, 2 hours left in the day. Therefore, I did not get to see Jeff but once. As Jeff was leaving school and getting into his car, my friend, the one who was there through it all, suggested I should go talk to him, and appologize for hanging up on him. I ran after him, almost getting hit by a bus, and grabbed his backpack to get his attention. I told him I wanted to appologize for being a b***h on the phone, and for being really rude and hanging up. Jeff's reply to this was, 'Yah me too,' -appology? check- 'I was just being a lazy bastard, and I didn't have a ride, my mom had just laid down and she didn't want to give me a ride.' -valid reason? check- So I asked him if he wanted to just come this Saturday. He said if he had any money he would. I told him we could get him in free, because a woman won a get in free ticket, and she didn't want it, so she gave it to us instead. He said,'Yah sure, if I can get a ride I will.' Gotenks is right though, this is not the first time I've been burned by Jeff, though James is probably also right, none of the feelings came from Jeff directly trying to hurt me. Wrist cutter had a valid point, Jeff may just have not wanted to come, I can't change that, but at the same time, I still feel like that's partially bc of me. I don't remember who it was, probably CWB, that said Jeff may have a crush on me, that was the farthest from the truth of anything posted in this thread. This situation is the complete opposite. I'm the one feeling attraction in this. I think that may ALSO be why he didn't come. But thank you all anyways for your support, it has really helped me, even if I don't know any of you intimately. James:Sorry, my AIM has been severely screwed up lately, so I've been getting on my AOL screen name, GGurlie4Eva. God I hate that thing.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxie Faye Posted December 3, 2002 Share Posted December 3, 2002 [color=#9933ff]DBZChickaGhan, don't tell yourself you aren't skinny enough, not smart enough, etc. You're absolutely wonderful the way you are, and I mean it. Everyone is different, because it's our differences that make us special. :) P.S.: Super models are freaks of nature, anyways.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrist cutter Posted December 3, 2002 Share Posted December 3, 2002 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by MistressRoxie [/i] [B][color=#9933ff]DBZChickaGhan, don't tell yourself you aren't skinny enough, not smart enough, etc. You're absolutely wonderful the way you are, and I mean it. Everyone is different, because it's our differences that make us special. :) P.S.: Super models are freaks of nature, anyways.[/color] [/B][/QUOTE] Yeah, because even though they're different, they suck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deedlit Posted December 3, 2002 Share Posted December 3, 2002 [color=009966]Don't belittle yourself, DBZChikaGhan. ^_~ You're great just the way you are. ;) Postscript: No the world does not hate you. ^_-[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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