Writing Mermaid green

[Vegitto4]

[b] mermaid green[/b]


[i]

When i look into your eyes
I think of the sea
Because I get lost in the swirl
Of Starlight blue, and mermaid green

I picture myself
Lost at sea
Waiting for you
To come rescue me

Rescue me from drowning
In the sea of colours
That picture the soul
That god put inside

For whenever i'm lost
In the sea of thine eyes
All i will do
Is wait for Thee
To come and rescue me. [/i]



The ending's not that good, but, I wrote it in 2nd period, a couple weeks ago. have y'all noticed that most of my poems are about eyes?

[LostProphet]

Thats pretty good man. Haven't read too many of your poems though....I'll look around for some of your publications.

[Boo]

Its really nice. and I havent really noticed they were all bout eyes, but you dont write that much after eachother so I couldve forgetten. O.o

[vegeta rocker]

I can't remember reading any of your previous ones....though i'm sure I have before....anyway I like it. It's too short though. I end up thinking of the Little Mermaid. Not the Disney version, but the real story.

[Spikey]

Great. It flows great, has great meaning, almost completly perfect. Keep 'em comin'.

[Vegitto4]

Planning on it. I jsut wrote a short epic one. Baisically, a short story, because it's not in stanza form. lets see if i can find it.

Ahhhhh. Here it is.

[b] Reality[/b]

[i] As the fire falls, the unknown creature arises. A Black velvet cloak is strewn about his sholders, and the hood about his skull. His face, white as death. His eyes, cold. he stares, His black hair falling into his face. You seem to think that you know exactly what he came for. A shiver beats the cold sweat that has begun to run down your spine. [b] so dead, so lifeless[/b]. That is the thought that burns inside of your mind as he stands, and breathes. he looks so dead, that you see his breath when he breathes. Suddenly, he dissapears. You look frantically, wondering what, and where this thing has gone. You hear, no, you feel a voice. " [b] Wondering what i am are you?[/b]" "[b] YES![/b]" You scream. A slow maniacal laugh begins to reverberate throughout your very being. "[b] Do you really want to know.[/b]" This thing utters. You nod, to shaken with fear to speak. He translucifies twenty feet infront of you. He begins to speak in some foreign tounge, not known to this world. You understand it however. " [b] You know me. I am the darkest thing that has ever known who you really are[/b]" " [b] Lucifer? [/b]" He shakes his head, grinning slightly. He fades out from visual perspective, and now stands next to you, pointing at the mirror that now replaces where he once stood. You walk to it, in order to see what he whispered in your ear. You turn, before you reach it, and the dark figure has dissapeard. You turn, to look at the mirror, and suddenly, drop in mortal shock. For what was truly shown inside this mirror...........was in fact..........................................................Your Soul. [/i]

[vegeta rocker]

Creepy! I'll never sleep again or steal again! Man that sure shoots a left paw at my conscience. I like it, good ending. Though could use a little cleaning up.

[Vegitto4]

yeah, I figured it could be cleaned up a bit. Meh. it works though. It got the point across.