Guest chibi_chan Posted December 7, 2002 Share Posted December 7, 2002 Spike wandered the alleyways looking for any scraps of food, he had just lost 50,000 wulong betting on a ship that was supposed to be "the fastest shuttle this side of venus" but instead wound up broke, bruised, and hungry. The rain hit spikes head like a rock, He could not believe he lost 50,000 wulong on a bet i mean he knew all the ins and outs of betting but, i guess today was just not spikes day...and spike would learn of this very soon..."hey you! give us yer money or we'll make you feel like you been'd hit by a meteor!" a punk said as to psiek as he took out his knife. "wha?..just leave me alone...huh, i cant believe this is actually happening ohhh!" spike mumbled as he fell over exhuasted and whimpering " argh...giuve us your money now idiot!" the punk kicked spike in the stomach."tha-tha-...THAT WAS A MISTAKE!" spike got up and punched the punk in the face then spun around and grabbed his left wrist and snapped it with a crack! "arhhh!!" the punk yelled as he stumbled away with a few broken bones and a nosebleed "darn kids..." spike said as he cleaned off his bloody hands in a puddle of rain water by the sidewalk.Spike started to whistle as he made his way to the swordfish 2, he was still hungy but he wasnt as miserable as he had been...well almost, he still had to deal with faye for loosing the 50,000 heh well i guess thats just how it goes eh? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ how do you like the fic? [color=indigo]Please use the "Edit" button instead of double posting. Thanks. - Desbreko[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makai Kite Posted December 8, 2002 Share Posted December 8, 2002 I like that fanfiction, chibi-chan. It was quite good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yu Yu Hakusho! Posted December 10, 2002 Share Posted December 10, 2002 That was really good. You should consider writing a whole one! You are a good writer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegeta rocker Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 Sort of short but it was alright. I am for more character but hey not bad at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Posted December 11, 2002 Share Posted December 11, 2002 [b]I don't think it's too great. Not to sound harsh, just seems a little rushed and short. You could try spacing it out a bit more, it was a tad bit confusing to read at times.[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nico Posted December 22, 2002 Share Posted December 22, 2002 That was a good first post.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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