Writing insanity

[vegeta rocker]

Well here is one that i wrote after listening to way too much Our Lady Peace and playing way too much Sailor Moon for Nintendo.
I think i will call it Insanity.......unless you have something better.

You dont think I'd understand
the symptoms
of what you say I have

You say that it's a sickness that
makes me
like one of them

where do I go
is it far away from here

is it far above
the ground

is it time
to go home now

i can't seem to picture
the things you say
i can

feel everything stop
like it never began

simple as it seems
to the stars above

i just can't
just can't

wake up


A theme for game addicts!!!! Well not really.

[Spikey]

It's well done. just needs a couple of punctuation corrections, and there you have it, a complete poem.

Great job^^

[vegeta rocker]

Here is one i wrote outside of a supermarket with pale van light.
Totally diffrent style, so tell me honestly what you think.

A hint of sarcasm

a symphony of souls
carrying on
with the merest hint of sarcasm
and yet
the stars and planets alike
heed them little
truly
they heed them
as man does the ant
you cry
the ant is not small
he is merely scaled
to his purpose
just as solitary ghosts
of times forgotten
are only given
enough of what is neede
why give flesh to those
who no longer have the means
to fill it
and much like a musical note
will fade into the downpour
of silent air
with a hint of sarcasm

[Boo]

Very well written (both) ^^
I cant see any part I dont like in them both :)