Writing My First Poems...Please read!

[Vash's Angel]

You pry into my mind, my secret thoughts
But none of you will ever understand
You cannot know the feeling I have suffered
The knowledge that I have just killed a girl

The feeling of despair deep in my bones
The sickness in my stomach and my mind
You think that you can look at me and know
The reason for the blood I left behind

But how can you know why I did this deed
When I myself can't know what I have done?
You ask me questions, but I do not heed
I'm just another tortured father's daughter

Subject me to these tests, these rules of science
Judge my inner self, say what you will
You'll never know the motive for my violence
You'll never figure out why I must kill

[KittyLynn]

[SIZE=1][FONT=century gothic][COLOR=deeppink]Very nice. I like it. The last part. Is very excellent, I love it. I know it is about murder, but it still is very pretty.^_^[/COLOR] [/FONT] [/SIZE]

[jupitersun]

i like it, it's really indepth, i think i know what you're try to express but then again i could be wrong but all to gether it's a great poem

[Makai Kite]

I really liked this poem. It gives off some kind of feeling, and I can almost sympathize with the narrator.

[Vash's Angel]

Thanks...here's another.


In the blowing wind,
We watch the same blade of grass,
Under a cerulean sky,

I long to put my arms around him,
Hold him,
Comfort him,
Protect him,
Love him,

But that is impossible,
For he does not love me,
He loves her,

She is perfect in his eyes,
For he loves her,

But how can I fault him,
When he is perfect to me,
Because I love him,

The day he chose her over me,
I cried,
I thought my world would end,

But it didn?t,

I congratulated her,
She is now my best friend,

But he loves her,
Not me,

I long for the day I can hold him,
But I know it will never come,

So,

Under a cerulean sky,
We watch the same blade of grass,
Blowing in the wind.