The Harlequin Posted February 9, 2003 Share Posted February 9, 2003 [font=gothic][color=crimson]Please don't. Mine was shocking, well below anything I'd hoped for. Especially the way I ended it. Major "I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do to go myself out of this one" style thing. So make it strange. Mnemolth: I wrote that way intentionally. I'm developing Lacroix. He's not meant to know, thus interact, with people yet, because he's yet to go through a few revelations I'm planning. You know, average stuff about him not being as much as a bastard as he sets himself up as. And the "jargon" as you put it is just the way I write. Hell, it's the way I speak. Anyway, I will get involved with the other characters, but only in the uncertain, disjointed way that suits Lacroix. Besides, I'm acting under the impression this is a long term thing, so I'll have lots of time.[/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted February 9, 2003 Share Posted February 9, 2003 [color=ff00cc] [size=1]Gah. My entry totally sucked. ><; Hmm... maybe I pushed it too much. *edits* Sorry for not posting the first round... I really didn't understand exactly what we had to do. ^_^;;;[/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shy Posted February 9, 2003 Share Posted February 9, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sara [/i] [size=1]The first thing that jumps out at me is really nit-picky, but hey. I'm used to proofing, not critiquing, so here you go: Some of the punctuation just [i]bugs[/i] me.. [color=brickred]?Well, I?m not entirely sure.? Replied Burman, ?This area has.."[/color] is almost backwards. The first phrase should end with a comma, and the period should fall after [i]Burman[/i]. [[i]Replied[/i] should not be capitalized, but that follows the comma vs. period bit.] You did this a couple times, or I wouldn't have bothered pointing it out. [Bug me about it if you want the full proofing treatment some time.[/quote] To be honest, this is only the second story I have written in the past year (the first being my RP-01 post, but I posted too late). [quote][color=brickred]...beautiful, red-haired woman wearing beautiful woman dressed in dark robes.[/color] Whoops. ;) There were a couple other "rewrite" mistakes, but that's obviously what they were, no big deal.[/quote] It was written in a hurry. So yeah, there are plnty of mistakes. Hopefully I can write my next post without having my brain in "newspaper mode". [quote]Okay on to the fun stuff. I didn't even notice it at first, but your dialogue just flows from the last sentence of my piece. Very nice. It took me a while to figure out why, out of the blue, Miles was asking about name origins. _ _ I had to laugh when I realized what you'd done--Couldn't believe I didn't catch it the first time through.[/quote] All of the characters were there, so it was just easier to continue the scene. Miles is weird, he'll ask whatever weird questions that I can think of at the time. There really isn't any significance to the name thing. [quote]I liked the way you did Xii; I guess you can learn a little bit about your character by the way other people write about him. She seems very wistful in this piece, something I wasn't quite expecting. I like the way it turned out, though, and it adds a nice level to her character that *wince* I didn't quite do in my own piece. [She isn't [i]supposed[/i] to be two-dimensional, honest!] I know it's a little overwhelming trying to write another person's character [what if they don't like it, oh no!] but as far as [i]my[/i] character goes, you did a great job.[/quote] I have no idea what to do with your character. In my first RP post (which nobody ever got to see, grr) her and Miles had a lot of interaction. I'm not sure what tod o with her, but I think that her actions describe her character more than what she says. [quote]Relee also featured rather prominently in this one--she must be easy to write for, I hope Juu doesn't mind! I honestly don't know a lot about her character since Juu hasn't submitted anything yet.[/quote] I find her the easiest character to write for. And I'm trying to seperate her from the group, to add a bit of danger or suspense into the story. [quote]You managed to work almost everyone in there--I know it's hard. I have to scribble a checklist at the top of my notebook every time I try to write something to make sure I've accounted for everyone. Doing a quick headcount, you mention everyone's name at least once, but I don't think we hear anything from either Tylenia or Calonice. Calonice drives me nuts; I have no idea how to write for her. But until we see something from CWB, we're the ones defining that character...so I'd guess we'd better start [i]doing[/i] it.[/quote] I don't think that either of them got any disalogue. To be honest, I have no idea how to write for either of them. My character contrasts sharply from most of the others -- so I don't want to dumb them down by writing dialogue that is "out of character". Hopefully CWB can bring some insight to Calonice, I don't know what's going on with Tylenia though... [quote]It was fun finally seeing some of Miles. Quite honestly, I love your character. ^_^ He's very refreshing...so normal. Which, of course, makes him stick out like a sore thumb in the realm of fantasy. He gets miffed at the others for interrupting Burman, and more annoyed when people realize it. How...human. I love some of the little things you threw in there. The girls wait for Burman to finish talking; the guys are all staring at [strike]Daja[/strike] Aud. Miles' reaction when she walks over to Burman is great. [color=brickred][i]No manners at all.[/i][/color] There's a lot we can read from that line, I love it. He didn't strike me as being the sort of person who would mutter to himself, but it just fits there so well. The idea that Aiken is on the "frontier" was a nice touch to his character, too. The area's been lived in for ages, but it's certainly not up to [i]England's[/i] standards of civilization.[/quote] Aud is a much better name than Daja. I thought Burman was saying an exclamation the first time I read her name. So yeah, that's my counter-rant. Bleh. -Shy[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mnemolth Posted February 10, 2003 Author Share Posted February 10, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by The Harlequin [/i] [B][font=gothic][color=crimson] Mnemolth: I wrote that way intentionally. I'm developing Lacroix. He's not meant to know, thus interact, with people yet, because he's yet to go through a few revelations I'm planning. You know, average stuff about him not being as much as a bastard as he sets himself up as. And the "jargon" as you put it is just the way I write. Hell, it's the way I speak. Anyway, I will get involved with the other characters, but only in the uncertain, disjointed way that suits Lacroix. Besides, I'm acting under the impression this is a long term thing, so I'll have lots of time.[/font][/color] [/B][/QUOTE] Well you didn't need your character to 'interact' with the other player characters to write about the rest of the group? :) In any case, I don't think your submission was as bad as you may think. Heheh. Actually I do believe your work was one of the more involved pieces, which was a good counter to the shorter ones. On to another matter entirely, I noticed you people don't have many popular votes. I think getting other folk to the read the Rounds and vote in the poll would be helpful. As long as people actually read the stories before they vote - last Round there was a vote for Harlequin who had made no submission, and this Round there are 2 votes for CWB??!! Its getting annoying, especially since other players have made the effort to submit and have received no votes. :rolleyes: Well I think the Popularity poll is still open for a day or two, so hopefully something will change there. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted February 12, 2003 Share Posted February 12, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sara [/i] [B][size=1]Calonice drives me nuts; I have no idea how to write for her. But until we see something from CWB, we're the ones defining that character...so I'd guess we'd better start [i]doing[/i] it. [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] Sorry about that. ^^;; Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't crank out something this round. I did put in some effort and had a decent draft, but I just wasn't satisfied with it. I was just a bit confused on how to follow up on last round. The Rosary Knight character was introduced in the winning piece, and looked satisfied. I didn't know quite how to follow up, keeping her identity a secret like that. :nervous: Anyway, I'm sorry I hogged up precious votes. I sure didn't vote for myself or anything. I guess that being the people's otaku, the cat's meow, has some nasty side effects for polls. But, you hang in there kids. Just remind the Crazy White Boy to win next round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mnemolth Posted February 13, 2003 Author Share Posted February 13, 2003 CWB, perhaps you would like to post your vote then? :) Same goes for you Alex. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted March 22, 2003 Share Posted March 22, 2003 [color=red] Mnenm, the new objectives are not on the page. It might be I'm just not seeing them or something, but I do not see them. >.> I'll keep looking. But I swear...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 I don't see them either. I'm really looking forward to putting in my entry once I find out what the objectives are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted March 23, 2003 Share Posted March 23, 2003 [color=darkred]You guys do know that since Mnemmy has to, you know, come up with objectives so that they're relevant to the winning post, it takes about a week?[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mnemolth Posted March 23, 2003 Author Share Posted March 23, 2003 Heheh! I'm an idiot. There's really no other explanation. :) I updated the webpage and included loaded Mitch and DarkOrderKnight's (I'll refer to you as DOK now if that's okay :)) characters, but I forgot to load up the new Objectives page! :D Now that I think about it, I forgot to write add some stuff for the News page as well. Bleh...that can wait, but the Objectives should now be on the RPW website. You may need to Shift + 'refresh' on IE. D'oh! *has a major Homer moment* [EDIT]I think I also forgot to load Harlequin's winning submission into the Chronicles page as well. Done that now. Please everyone read through the previous winning stories, or skim them at least, so the story is fresh in your minds before you start writing. Continuity has to be kept. You can be clever and bend it if you want, but don't break it. And DOK and Mitch, unless I'm mistaken, you two still owe me a pic. Take your time but I would like it before this round ends at least. :) [/EDIT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted April 6, 2003 Share Posted April 6, 2003 [size=1]Okay, posting in here, mainly so I can keep track of the Rounds. Heh. [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23515]RPW V[/url] [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=22225]RPW IV[/url] [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=21237&highlight=Mnemolth]RPW III[/url] [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20188]RPW II[/url] [url=http://otakuboards.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19443]RPW I[/url] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 [size=1]*sighs* Can I ask for a day's grace on this? My computer decided not to work for the better part of this week.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 [color=ff00cc] [size=1]*nods* My computer at home's not working either... I have to go to my dad's office building to go online, and I've been kinda behind a firewall. o_o;; Also, I'm not allowed to save anything on MS word here, either. [/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 [color=darkred][size=1]*puts her hand up* I started, but I'm in the middle of exams. I should be able to post tonight [fingers crossed], but if I don't, tomorrow at the latest.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mnemolth Posted April 7, 2003 Author Share Posted April 7, 2003 Hmm...suggestion: 1 week's grace but please be reminded that your vote ALSO needs to be by the 14 April, k? So try to do it quickly and give people some time to read your post and also so that you can read other people's posts! :) Of course, you'll lose the 1XP for timeliness. How does this sound? If people still have problems with this, either because I'm being too lenient or 1 week is still not enough, please let me know. Good luck everyone. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 [color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] Hmm. Amazing. OB is now working for me here at school. I have my submission finished; I rushed and got it done last night. It turned out pretty bad in my eyes, but ah well. I'll submit it when I get home today or tomorrow.[/color][/size][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted April 7, 2003 Share Posted April 7, 2003 [SIZE=1]Thanks, Mnemolth. I'll get it up as soon as I can, if not sooner. :p [Incidently, I want to show off this picture my sis did for me. I love how it turned out.] [/SIZE][IMG]http://www.otakuboards.com/attachment.php?postid=379172[/IMG] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted April 8, 2003 Share Posted April 8, 2003 So very cool Sara, the fellow Wisconsinite. Hmmmm.... *Ponders the Meaning of 'Life, The Universe, And Everything'* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mnemolth Posted April 29, 2003 Author Share Posted April 29, 2003 Guys, I'm really sorry about the delay in the release of RPW 5, I've just been real busy. I'll try to get it out ASAP. Prob by this weekend. We'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gavin Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 [color=royalblue][size=1]Sorry I haven't been around much but it's been a rough few months, my PC f*cked severly and I had to leave it for about a month to get it repaired. However I'm back now and I'll start post as soon as I can. Just one thing can anyone give me an idea of the story so far[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 [font=gothic][color=crimson]LA's links give a pretty good approximation of what's going on. ....AH! Mac OS avatar! Go mac users![/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted May 3, 2003 Share Posted May 3, 2003 Amen to that, Harlequin. I'm slightly confused. In the entry does our character hae to write the poetry or is it just a thing that can appear? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 [size=1]Just something that can appear, I assume. That's how it comes across. Mnemolth, I still believe that you've done this to spite me. :p [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mnemolth Posted May 4, 2003 Author Share Posted May 4, 2003 DOK; Its just something that [i]must[/i] be in the story. So the poem can be something from a book, it can be a song sung by your character or someone else, it might even be in the form of a flashback, a childhood lullaby or something. Its not something your character has to write, but it is [i]is[/i] something [i]you[/i] have to write! :) And if anyone wants to know what has happened so far, perhaps they can go to the [url]www.roleplayingwriting.tk[/url] website, and skip through the Chronicles page (yes I've updated it for Round 4, with all the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors). That's what its there for, along with other tidbits. LA: Spite you? Hell no. I just wanna have a thing for Mitch is all. ;) Besides, I really wanna see what Harlequin can come up with. I haven't see any poetry from Mr. Davidson so far. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted May 4, 2003 Share Posted May 4, 2003 [size=1]...His last name is Mitchell. Where the hell did Davidson come from? O.o;; There isn't any particular style to it thankfully. Although, I [i]could[/i] probably write 7 haikus that link to one another. :evil grin:[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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