Writing Gundam: Trowa's Destiny

[Spikey]

Trowa?s Destiny
Rated: PG

Chapter 1.
Trowa was in a deep trance. Somewhere where the light could now be found. Such a thing has frightened him. But what was even more frightening was the war.

The war had gone on for some time now. But what even made him more ticked was that he wouldn?t get to fight until half of the enemy?s where down.

?Why?! How come...they won?t let me?? he would ask himself. ?Is it that I am not good enough? No, I can?t say that. I am one of the best.?

He had nightmares each night about it. He just couldn?t sit up there and wait for the war to be over. He had to do something.

...So then he got into his Gundam. ?They won?t let do this ever again,? he said to himself.

He went out into space, and shot down many Gundams. ?Ahh...what the---?? now what was wrong.

There had been a Gundam right behind him the whole time. He looked in his mirror, then shot. But that didn?t bring the Gundam down.

?What the heck is wrong?!? he screamed.

All of a sudden the Gundam was gone, or was it? It had just used its stealth mode to turn invisible.

Trowa started to get frustrated. He began to shoot many beams.? Die, DIE,? he would yell.

Just then the Gundam appeared. He was in shock. He didn?t do anything. It was a special Mobile Suit. It drew a sword.

But then Trowa caught his mind. He then too drew his sword, and they began to duel.

After a couple of slashes Trowa had managed to chop the head off.

?Phew, that was hard. Now I see what, that was a special Mobile Suit. Why was it so hard though.?

?Also, how come they sent out people that couldn?t fight for anything??



Now he was stronger. He now found out the plan. He was also read for anything that would get in his way!

[Hittokiri Zero]

You have an idea here, but it's too loosely put together not much description try doing this over, and dont be to anxoius to jump into the action! You need to develop the story and characters a bit first!

[Spikey]

[COLOR=darkblue]Thanks. So you think I should make more charcters in it, and more action. Will do. Thanks again.[/color]

[Hittokiri Zero]

You just need to go more in depth with your battles, explain the mobile suits he's fighting, take time to describe the gundams each action, like this:

"...Trowa manuevered Heavyarms to the right and unleashed a barrage of missiles at the incoming Zaku II, the missilies collided with the Zaku II and sent it spiraling backwards..."

[Spikey]

Right. I'll get to work on that. Thanks alot Hi--- yeah. I'm going to work. Hey, I think I should type more to the story. Thanks again.