TheHackman Posted January 11, 2003 Share Posted January 11, 2003 I hate vulger language, so I've mellowed this poem down... [U]Live 4 Reality[/U] There are times when I just want to shout "Wake Up" Because your living a fantasy, you think everything in life is sugar coated and easy, You think everything in life is about sociality and popularity Well, "WAKE UP" You need to stop taking those pills of ectasy, and get yourself back into reality. I don't care how you look, I don't how you derss, I don't care who you f**k, I could care less. Don't tell me how much your shoes cost, Don't tell me it looks like I got my clothes for Ross, Don't tell me how much you paid for the "ice" you "floss" cause if you do you're at a lose and I'll tell you to f**k off! You're deceiving yourself, cheating yourself, take some time to look at yourself, believe in yourself, be yourself! Don't try to please me, he, her, she; Man! Who are you trying to deceive, can't you see, don't try to live up to that hip hop fantasy, be who you ought to be, Live 4 Reality! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chibi_kunoichi Posted January 11, 2003 Share Posted January 11, 2003 that aint a poem its rap! its really good tho:P 10/10! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikey Posted January 11, 2003 Share Posted January 11, 2003 Yeah. It seems like a rap song. I'm not a fan of rap, but I still think it is good. You might want to repeat a couple parts. Good job. 8/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sui Generis Posted January 11, 2003 Share Posted January 11, 2003 Hey its great! Be it a poem or rap it doesn't matter. Rap is poetry. Music is poetry! Anyways great give it about a 9, but there were a few spelling errors... such as "Because your living a fantasy, " "your" should be [b] You're[/b] Only small little things like that, anyways nice job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheHackman Posted January 12, 2003 Author Share Posted January 12, 2003 I really don't try to differentiate btwn rap,peotry,spoken word, or music. I appreciate the feedback. I intend to be a big time author. I also draw to,so be looking out for my works, I live 4 ur criticism. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now