Break Posted January 13, 2003 Share Posted January 13, 2003 [size=1][color=crimson]We were writing these poems in english, based on a photo we were given. I had to write one about this lady sitting at the station, looking sad. So I wrote away and the teacher said it was good. So I was pleased, what do you guys think? [u][b]The Shell[/b][/u] Emotions; they fail me Keep my writhing throughout the night Keeping sane will be my key Trying not to lose sight Of this spirit that I see I fear, it's slipping away, my emotions may be right Binding and constricting me Lock me inside my shell tonight He's wandered from this place Wandered far from life Wandered far and slowly fallen from grace I accept this and live in eternal strife The shell; it keeps blank my face But inside, my hearts been slashed with a knife I have lived my life with style and grace Now all is meaningless without him The shell; I know he's gone Love says no more The shell; I know he's gone My life is no more[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
conpiracymonki Posted January 13, 2003 Share Posted January 13, 2003 [b][size=1] Coolies ^_^ I like that lots, except I think the 'my' in line 2 should be 'me'... sounds better and more right[/b] *does congratulate weh*[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted January 13, 2003 Share Posted January 13, 2003 [color=red] Wah, weh did somethin' cool for once! Go him! Yeh, it's pretty nice. It's kinda floating and seeping, that's what made it nice. Good job, Weh. :)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Vercetti Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 well done break i was sitting next to you when you wrote that poem i think you should have read it out in class hehehehe but thats me lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bing Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 [size=1][color=darkblue]Yours is great Weh. I'm really impressed at how you and Tommy V have done so well in 'poetry' in English. I really want this subject, but we are stuck on books for now. You have produced a great, deep piece of wrok. Well done man *pats on back*[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigCajones Posted January 14, 2003 Share Posted January 14, 2003 Yeah that poems coolies. I prefer poems that rhyme it makes sound better and you look more talented finding words that make sense and rhyme at the same time. Although there are loads that don't rhyme which are great too. :) The shell is a great idea. Well done *shakes Weh's hand and he squeezes it tightly* ouch .. the pain (usual school incident). :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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