Who Are You?

[The Harlequin]

[font=gothic][color=crimson]This could be interesting, especially for me.

[B]Who I Am In My Own Mind[/B]
I'll start by saying this. I am not someone who is often honest with myself. In fact, it is very rare for me to be. It is far rarer for me to be honest to another. I'm a hopelessly vain, lazy, arrogant/self doubting, overly emotional, [I]chronically shy[/I] person who is simply trying to recover. I really am. I actually do give a damn about how other's perceive me, though I would rather die than show it. I am undisciplined to the point that I never get around to doing anything I attempt to stick my mind to, no matter how little effort it takes. I fully believe that I do have good qualities, more than most people I've ever met, but in my own mind, they are always lacking. I am not good enough in any way, shape or form. Especially intelligence. I am absolutely paranoid about what I consider to be my inferior mind. Anyone that can make me feel stupid automatically earns my respect, but also my avoidance. Those kinds of feelings really kill me. The overly emotional thing is very, very interesting. In actuality, I can't honestly claim I am. I don't really feel anything anymore. I love Raven, I'm quite often depressed, and every now and again some angers me. But everything else, even those things I mentioned earlier, don't seem to be emotions anymore. They are merely a dull ache in my stomach. I think the emotions, not feel them. It's a frightening experience at times. Chronically shy- strange, but in many situations, I'd rather die than put myself in an awkward position. I'm quite serious. Anything where it might out I've made the wrong move, or accidently gone to the wrong place, or any other such inane mistake will agonise me, and doubts will start running through my mind until I'm a quivering mass of nerves. As such, I have no initiative whatsoever. (This contributes in a large way to the idea of me being lazy) Last year, I joined the school Cadet unit. This for example, was horrible. So many rules and regulations. I had no idea what to do, and it was all I [I]could[/I] do not to simply vomit through nerves for the first few weeks.

I'm overly introverted, a loner by choice. I prefer being alone. There are times when I prefer it even to the company of those closest to me, Jack and Raven. I need solitude. It lets me relax, calm down, know that I'm not going to accidently offend someone, or be put in an "awkward position" (That shy thing is quite literally so bad I can't watch anything of the "drama" category without trying to leave the room at every interval. I can do whatever I want, and not be concerned with other's opinions. Above all, I need Jack and Raven's respect. If I didn't have that, it would kill me. They know me so well, and if they didn't approve of what I was, I simply couldn't take it.

I'm very rarely happy. When I am, I'm normally in the corner, sitting, uninvolved, letting other people enjoy their lives, while I take a quiet satisfaction from it. That's why I get so entranced by books. They allow me character I can live through. In many ways, I'm obsessed with getting away from reality, and certainly from my life.

As I'm sure you've noticed, whoever my mysterious reader should be, I'm quite disjointed. When I do start to speak, I tend to spill out information. But before that, I can't think of what to say, I sit here, hopelessly lost by the choice of topics before me. Ask Raven about our early phone conversations. We sat in silence for 10 mintues at a time, simply because I couldn't find anything to say, and she'd spoken for two hours straight.

I'm also, I'm somewhat ashamed to say, a hopeless romantic. Especially in the fantasy area of my life. It appeals to me somehow. I find it annoying, but hey, it's me.

I think the last relevant point would be the reason I'm like this. My mother's death, my insanity, my depression I suppose. But still, I'm recovering. I think the most frightening aspect is simply that I don't care anymore. I'm told outright denial is a viable form of dealing with a tragedy. And we've all read of peopl who simply retreat into themselves. They no longer live in most senses of the world. They're merely moving statues. I suppose I've grown like that. Not even the fact that my mother died affects me anymore. I just feel a vague emptiness. It's horrifying, even to me.

Well, that hasn't really left a clear picture of me, but I'm not clear person. I think the phrase " emotionless,quivering mass of nerves" sums it all up.

[B]How do others see me, or at least how I think they do[/B]

I'm really not certain, though I work hard to present an image. A try to make myself seem as a cold, hard, unapproachable person. I try to make myself sem smarter than I am. I try to make myself seem dangerous. All this, merely to keep people away from me. I don't know how it all comes out. I'm sure it's ridiculous to everyone around me, that I'm a running joke, that everyone's laughing up their sleeves at me, even Jack and Raven. But that may be my doubts speaking again.

Perhaps I am unapproachable. Mainly because I'm so confused as to how I appear that no one else can find a foothold that reaches me.

Another interesting point is that during my life, I've found it neccessary to present myself as completely normal. This was mainly because there was some suspicion I wasn't "alright", and I was terrified of anyone finding out about me. It was only a year or so ago I got over that.

You'd have to ask someone else for the real answer to this question.


[B]How I would like others to see me[/B]

The complete opposite of what I really am. I want to be cold, unapproachable, supremely confident, feelingless, incredibly gothic, intelligent person in perfect control of their own life. Hell, I doubt it will ever come to that though.


My, that was interesting. And I never want to hear about it again, [i]especially[/I] not in person.[/font][/color]

[Mnemolth]

Warning! Warning! Approaching Dawson's Creek zone...please raise pseudo-psych bable shield, and power to maximum. :D

Heheheheh. Couldn't resist. Apologies to those who may have been offended. Just kidding around, as I often do. ;)

I'm not really surprised at the frankness of some of the responses, though one cannot but help feel moved by them. They are all amazing. In particular, I'm especially impressed with Harlequin's post. Now if only Sara can follow suit.... ;) What?? *ducks Daria rage* Hey! :p

Hmm....huh? What was that? You want me to stay on topic and answer the three questions? Heheheheh.... nah. That'd be too easy. If you really wanna know me, read my posts. And not just the serious debating ones, but the cryptic one liners, and the mischievous ones and the foolish ones. And if you haven't got the time...well...what can I say? :huh:

I'm afraid I can't quite reduce myself to a 30 second sound bite just yet... but I am trying... ;)

[size=1][color=red] Must...delete...post...err...:p-Mitch[/color][/size]

[Mitch]

[color=red][center][b]Who am I in my own Mind?[/b][/center]
A rather large and blunt question this truely is. I don't know what I am in my mind. It's different everday. Somedays I'll just be so very sarcastic that almost everything I say has no merit, and I only cause people to get angered. But that's very beside the point.

In my own mind, I see myself as a kind of two-sided coin. As I think everyone should. Now, somedays the coin'll be completely on the positive edge--or somewhere quite close. At other points, it may be in the middle. Mediocre. Or sometimes, sometimes it flips completely over--revealing my raw and total darkness of my human psyche. Most of my poems are routed from this side, as you may have seen. Heck, yesterday I even had my Dad read my newest one (Death Is For The Earth--both parts) and he asked me why I write so dark like that. Well, to me, that poem's not that dark. I focused on the blood because blood is a very easily held and melded into one's mind as not only a symbol, a great image, but it is a very explicit word to me. One that's not to be take lightly. So yeh, I believe he didn't understand the poems at all.

You'll notice I'm very trailing, I jump around in my mind a lot. I'm quite a hopless dreamer, in fact. Somedays I will just lying around, thinking, wondering, going over everything and more. And I can't help it. I care about so many people and things even though they might not even care a thumb or a limb of me. I'm very caring, that's very certain. I'll be there for someone even if they may or not know me all that well. It's just the way I am. I like to think most of the main people in my life rather don't understand me. Namely--my parents. Especially my Dad. A lot of my poems are written about him.

My Dad just doesn't understand, and lots of people probably don't. My Dad can't understand my sarcastic sense of humor, he takes it as disrespect. But then again, he takes everything like that. He's also very critical of me, telling me that I do nothing to help around the house, and such. It's practically beaten into me, all of what he wants me to act and do. Most people fear being their parents--as I do. But, I know I'll be just the same as my Dad most likely, even if I don't want to be, I'll be him in some form. Sometimes I wonder if my Dad even really knows what it's like to be a teen. But, I've learned to live with that.

See? Here I am, trailing again. Another thing I should bring up is that I'm rather shy. Obviously you cannot glean that from my activity here, for the internet blocks such matters. But I'm not as out-going and as for-fronted here as I am in real life. So, along with the shyness, I'm really rather reserved in my feelings all around me. I take them in, and I spit then out later, on my own time (namely via poems). And yet again tailored to that shyness, and holding in of feelings, I'm rather paitient and rare to anger. I rarely get mad. Only if I'm very annoyed by something, or if I've been worn thin in my ability to reserve myself.

I'm also, at least I like to think, rather kind and often considerate. At school. as I leave a class, I most oftenly say 'good-bye' as I'm leaving to the teacher, or I might say something a little different. It all depends upon, usually, how I feel about the teacher. No, no, don't get the idea I hate some of my teachers, I dont.

Everything I do and everything I observe, read, and so on, I usually try to look deeper into it to find an allegoric, or a meaning that's hidden, in it. That's why I believe I've grown better and better with poetry--because that's what you do when you write a poem, you expand and delve into the deepness of something, and use surprising metaphors to express this, somewhat, for a lack of a better word, unnamable thing you may delve out. But poetry's much more than that. Very much more. There's also those people who will take it differently, or, not even understand it period.

I als like to think I have a rather large imagination towards everything, and that I am very good at seeing anothers' side pertaining to a subject without invalidating my own. Because equality and respect for anothers' opinion is at least what they deserve.

But, other than this many things, I'm flawed of course. There may be some flaws up above, but, I thought I'd just point it out. We all have our flaws. It's what makes us human. Now, here are some I've already said--I keep my feelings inside and I'm shy--there's most likely more than those I've listed. One of my main flaws is I'm not able to really force myself into something I loathe, or something which turns me off. I'll just run away from it, or I just won't try in it. School is a good example. I could've probably had an A, or at least a B, in Spanish, had I tried and payed more attention. But I just couldn't. My attention span gets that way when I'm uninterested in something. Even a bad teacher can turn me away from things I love.

I suppose I've trailed on a lot. But there's so many angles just this one question can bring up that must be answered.

I shall add the other questions later.[/color]

[DKsAngel]

ok I ment to answer this yesterday, but with the subsitute in one of my classes breathing down my neck reading everything I was saying..it was kinda hard to reply so

[B]Who am I in my own mind?[/B]
I think in my own mind I am just a quiet kind of person that likes to keep some stuff to herself without letting the whole world into the picture, besides that I really cant say what I am in my own mind I aam still in the process of figuring out who *me* is, but I suspose I am two sided like some are, I have a sensitive and I mean sensitive side o_o and I have a hyperactive side, like I can be really hyper and crazy..lol that side shows a lil more but not often

[B]How do others see you (or at least how do you think, and why)?[/B]
well most see me as a few things,
the weird person, I suspose I am weird cuz I do a lot of different things than what you would expect..its part of my eccentric hyper part lol
some see me as a ditz
I suspose the fact that i dont catch onto some things so quickly proves that true, but I am not really a ditz
some mostly the guys see me as a flirt
I really try to stay away from that, >_< its evil..
and then there is the other ppl who see me as a a b!tch, it depends on when and how your timing is, I can be really sarcastic and mean if you catch me on an off day..


[B]how I would like others to see me?[/B]
I would like others to see me as the person I am, and look past a lot of things, just because I am a bit eccentric at times dont let that scare you off o_o, I'd just be content if people just saw me as me, even if I am not quite positive what *me* really is.

[Ravenstorture]

[color=darkgreen][font=gothic]This, firstly, is all in relation to Harlequin's post.

I only knew of about 2% of it. Honestly, I had no idea. And the fact that we are so close now that we can nearly talk to each other purely by thought, and we breath through each other on a regular basis (and we actually do, physically) makes it hurt. It really, really, ****ing hurts to read something that he couldn't even mention to me in any medium - not just in person, but in distant, abstract writing.
The first time I hear about this is on a public message board, in answer to a question that some far off stranger posed. For everyone to read before I do.

And so now I am returning the favor and publicly announcing my anger, hurt and deep, emotional confusion. I feel sick. I am crying, now, as I write this - he told me to read it, but he never mentioned that it would say things like this... I knew that he was happier on his own sometimes. I knew he spent a good deal of his life in mental illness, in denial, and I know that he is nearly devoid of all emotions. I knew nothing of the fear. And now - just before, on the phone - he tells me that nearly all of his life and actions are interconnected with this deep, acidic fear. I am so shocked, so utterly hurt, that I have been living my life as one half of this person only to find that I did not know ANYTHING ABOUT HIM.

And so now what the **** and I supposed to expect?

Sorry, Semjaza, about the emotional near-suicidal ********. But I will remember this for quite a while.

And now, for me...

I was beautiful, once. I was happy, and intelligent, beautifully spirited and gifted, adored, bubbling, joyous, carefree, young. But it's too damaged now to recover. Everything started when I was six, the institutions, the treatment, the ruining. The desolations. The visions. The constant reminders that there was something wrong with me, that I was wrong, accept it, I was wrong, stop hiding behind the facade of the past. (By the way, if it sounds familiar to anyone, perhaps that's why I hate it being said. Surprised?) Anyway, it stopped after a climax of events when I was twelve or so, that was so horrid and disgusting that I cannot think on them even now. And no one, not even you, Dearest Unknown, Dearest Love, not even the entity, not even the scent of the black rose that I have become, will think on it. I will never uncover that part of my life. I shouldn't write about this when I cry, I can hardly breathe as it is.
Anyway, after that, I came home and forgot everything. The potential for Lucy, the gorgeous redhead who laughed and liked to steal begonias, who dressed in pale blue and adored sunshine, had been destroyed. Utterly destroyed. I could not find her. I started again, and rebuilt myself, but after the firestorm of the past six years I was in no condition to designing my life and I failed. I am now warped, as a result, and am content to sit in the dark corner, whittling away at my own individuality, desperate to become the other people. Everyone around me survived - I don't think I did. That was the end of year seven.
The start of highschool seemed promising to me, and I was eager to let the scar tissue form, so I cut off all my hair and went to a upper class school. I wasn't counting on falling madly in love in third period with a strange looking guy in a spray jacket.

- jumping forward three years, I sleep with a strange and beautiful creature who's glorious self was said to be unlocked by a goddess, little does he know -

The darkness is fading. But that is only because I am burying it deeper. And how can I live with myself when I know the only person I exist for has experienced such horrors, and I have made him uncover them? If he did that to me, I would kill him. Even more terrifying is the fact that if he tried to make me remember, I would have the capacity to kill him. Whether or not he was the only thing keeping me alive at the time. And he is, and it will be a while before it changes.

[i]My past clings to my back
like a gargoyle
and I have only to beckon it forward
it will leap to my attention
and I will fall to my knees
the terror unbound
threefold with the exhuberance it will show
from being unleashed

loving someone is holding them
they will place their arms around you
and embrace your gargoyle too
if they are like you
you hold them close
and stick your fingers in the stone mouth of their demon
you either choke it
or you lose your hands

we don't know what has happened
quite yet
[/i]

Anyway, as for the rest - I don't care how other people think of me, and I don't want them to think of me in any way. Because people do think of you, and they are very often wrong. As long as they don't know the truth.
Harlequin is void in this case. I care what he thinks of me, only in that he loves me as he does now. I need it. He needs it. We are holding eachother together. But I want him to know the truth. His truth is inexplicable, and scary. mine is just horrifying. I want him to know everything that has happened to me, because it will help him understand me better. At all. But I don't want him to know what happened because... I don't want him to have those thoughts, images in his head. And especially not of me.
I thought he thought the same. I thought he wanted me to know everything. And perhaps he does, because I know what I'm saying is ripping him apart. I know he wants me to know how much he loves me, and that he never intended to hurt me. I know how much he loves me - as much as I love him. But I am unsure of that amount. Too much to humanly comprehend. But he is not human, he is a god, and I am his goddess, and I am sure we will know one day.

So, considering everything, it doesn't change much. I love you, Flynn, no matter how much I know or don't know of your inner workings. I know enough. And now I have just blurted out the murky depths of my mind... dear god, I am in so much pain. I'm sorry if this is off the topic or whatever. I think it needed to be said.

[/font][/color]

[Dan L]

[b]Who am I in my mind?[/b]

I'm the guy who "fits in" with anyone, but only loosely, and could slip into another group at any moment. I don't change much, I'm pretty much a constant in varying backgrounds. Once keeping contact with someone becomes something not part of the daily routine, it fades very quickly

Though I have improved, I'm never enormously self confident. When my ideas are good, someone else would have probably come up with them, when they're not it's because I'm just no good at that kind of thing. When nothing is said, good or bad, it's automatically bad.

According to all my teachers at various levels of education, I'm the guy with the huge potential but without the will-power to bring that potential about. Subconsciously I'm waiting for a miracle to bring it about.

I seem independent, and act like it at times. I work better on my own, partly out of choice but mostly due to lack of confidence when working with someone else. When working with others I naturally take a submissive role and let someone else take charge.

I need closeness to people but can't quite figure out how to get there.. All the while giving the impression that I'd rather be alone.

When no-one's around when they should be I freak out.. my Mum, Dad and brother went out for a walk at night a couple of months ago, without telling me. I was listening to music in my room at the time. I came down later and went crazy about the fact that they were gone. none of them took a mobile phone, so I couldn't find out where they were, and I panicked as if they were all dead.

I generally try to be very supportive. After a past "incident" which started with me stealing unexpectedly and ended in me becoming a Christian, I have a strong understanding of the forgiveness and acceptance part of Christian faith, and don't dismiss anyone regardless of past, present or expected future.

I love music. Completely... whether it's listening, playing, writing, singing.. whatever. Though admittedly I prefer playing and singing. I lead worship (music) at our youth group.

On the internet... No substitute for real life by any means. Still massively underconfident, but it's kind of a little easier to hide. I still freak out when someone leaves unexpectedly.. but nowhere near as badly. For some reason I feel tense around certain people. Today I realised it's not just me.. there appears to be a kind of "AIM body language" or something like that ^^

[b]Who am I to others?[/b]

Dan.. the guy who's always there but rarely does or says much. When he does, it's usually something serious (as in, in a serious mood, not the "really really bad" kind) or involving some kind of work/involvement in church stuff.

At social events Dan tends to start off good, but after a while he just walks around with a solemn look on his face, not talking to many people.

Conversations don't last long very often..

[b]How would I like others to see me?[/b]

Someone with the same need to talk from time to time, rather than someone who wants to sort out all his own problems..

[Shinobi]

[b]Who are you in your own mind?[/b]

Well, i belive myself to be, a happt, popular, easy going guy. I have no trouble with conversation with girls (They all love me, as a freidn that is, not as attractive way >_<) I always try and make people laugh, i dunno, it's been a thing every since i was a little guy. I am pratically a clone, of my Dad. Looks, habits, attitude, inteliginse...The Lot. He was always making people laugh also, mabey i get it from him, i don't know. Actually, the other day, all of the boys in my year in high school (Well all the popular ones anyway) were crouding round mefor 30 minutes, jut to hear my impressions, jokes and card tricks. I felt as if i was a real entertainer. Online on the other hand, i don't get the same feedback or response, i am funny the odd few time, but off-line i am always the one cracking the jokes, having a laugh. I am awlays in the most part friendly, hardly ever in bad moods, but the odd time when i am, i am vicous, angry and if anyone, and i mean [b]anyone[/b] irritates me, it would probably end up bloody, i dont know why im so violent when i am angry, i must get that from my Dad also. I am always willing to make new friends, and on the most part is trying all the time. I...well....i think thats about it.

[b]How do others see you (or at least how do you think, and why)?[/b]

I think people see me (off-line) as the funny guy that will always get you laughing and is a great guy to have a snigger with. They see me as generrous and always helpful if i can, if my friends are in trouble i try my best to be there for them.

[b]And how would you rather people saw you?[/b]

I dont know, mabey more attractive? I mean, i know i am not the most hideous monster on the living earth, but i don't seem to ever be the guy who the girls like. Yeahm well, the do like me, but only to talk to and be good friends with. I think that is the only thing.

[Semjaza]

Ravenstorture (and others who've contacted me about this)... The general warning was more towards the type of people here who like to put themselves down for attention and getting their names mentioned. I'm not wanting people to avoid emotions or anything, assuming they are honest. As such, I think what you wrote fits this well and is not something I'd be frowning upon.

It was more or less just to "scare" people into writing something good without the self-bashing stuff that seemed to get added in in threads similiar to this one. Thanks for the good responses everyone :D.

[Azzi]

[COLOR=coral][b]Who am I in my mind?[/b]
I am a person who clouds most feelings to others, in fear of getting hurt/being misintepreted and hurting others. Apart from that I'm a fun loving kid who is easygoing and an all round nice person. I admit that I'm stubborn and a bit overemotional and I do tend to hide my feeling, making myself misintepreted and misunderstood.

[b]Who am I to others?[/b]
A good friend and listner, a shoulder to cry on (well, two shoulders) and I'm a person who stands up for herself and others, and is a person who scares others.:bluesweat:

[b]How would I rather people saw me?[/b]
As someone who people know to steer clear off, and I'd like poeple to recognise my good sides rather than my bad.

Whee! That was fun! I understand myself better now O.o[/COLOR]

[i]Edit: The dancing banana avatar SA! it the best I've ever seen *stares and wishes she thought of it*[/i]

[Vegitto4]

Who am I?

[i] I am the person that everybody sees, but no one notices. I'm the one that everybody hears, but nobody pays attention to[/i]

How do people see me?

[i] People see me as funny, intelligent, eccentric, short tempered about certain things. Oh, and a good listner and solver of problems. .
EDIT: it now seems that i dont think of other people, when i am polite when i haven't been before. it freaked a good friend fo mine out, so now she is flipping out right next to me. meh, her problem if she thinks she's isnide my head.
[/i]



Will edit more later

[The One]

[b][color=darkred]Who am I in my mind?[/b]

I am a mature yet emotional person. One full of insight but at times stupidity. At times I may be having fun and loving the world, and at others might be wishing I was someone else. I trust and love too easily, and thus get hurt often.

I would like to think of myself as above average in terms of intelligence and also physical ability. I also consider myself weak in terms of emotional stability. I do however blame that on anything but myself; my surroundings, my mom, etc. I have a tendency not to accept responsibility for certain things, unless it involves someone else getting in trouble, in which case I own up, even though it may not have been me. I have a temper, which I manage to control most of the time, but I do have a problem with authority figures who are blatantly unfair.

I feel strongly for those in trouble. Not many people know this but, I would take a bullet for almost anyone. I would risk my life in almost any way to save another. This would make me selfless by definition. I disagree, as although I feel this way, my mind is often driven towards things that I want and how to get them.

I could summarise this quickly into a single sentence: I am run by emotions, good and bad.


[b]Who am I to others?[/b]

I am an object of fear to some. An object of authority to others, and to a few I am someone that will always love them, no matter what they do to me. Because I forgive quickly, people have a tendency to use me, or screw me over and figure 'it's ok, he'll fogive me'. Girls especially...

I am a good friend and look out for others. I am someone who can be relied on to do almost anything.

I am 'the muscley dude' to a lot of people who don't know me personally ( these people just see me in the changing room ).

Most of my year think of me as, hate to use the expression, a fun lovin' criminal. I do stuff, sometimes I get caught, sometimes I don't, but I get laughs. I am a joker of sorts.

This can't really be summarised into a single sentence, just read it :p.

[b]How would I rather people saw me?[/b]

I would rather that others saw me for what I wrote as 'Who am I in my own mind?'. I wish people knew exactly what I thought. I wish I could show people what I was thinking at any given moment in time. I wish people would understand myself together with my actions.[/color]

[Magnum Apex]

[font=trebuchet ms][color=darkblue]I feel weird posting this in front of a bunch of people I don't know, but I guess the true strength of this thread lies in the fact that an individual loves to talk about him or herself.

[b]Who am I in my own mind?[/b]

I see myself as someone who's mentally mature, but emotionally immature. I feel emotions and sometimes act on emotions like a 14-year old would. I'm growing out of it, though, but it still happens. For example, I've sometimes felt unreasonably jealous with my girl, though I never admit it.

I'm someone who strives knowledge, and is always open to learn more about life, and about the things that interest me. Ignorance can be good sometimes, though... but from the point of view of someone who wants to live in the real world, ignorance is something unacceptable.

I've grown an ego over the past few months. I tend to think I'm right, so I'm rarely proven wrong. This might go in contrast with what I said about my willingness to learn more. Well, people are [i]that[/i] complicated.

I have some good qualities, however. Don't lose hope! I know I am committed to the people I care about, and I am willing to risk everything for them, even friendship. I've done it before, accidentally... but I don't regret it. I don't regret anything I've ever done, because experiences have taught me important lessons, and have made me who I am.

I follow my life by a few principles: You never know until you try; always follow your heart and emotions, the mind can be confusing, but the heart knows what it wants; be honest and true to yourself. Don't waste your time trying to impress anyone by being someone you're not. Life's too short for that kind of activity.


[b]Who am I to others?[/b]

I can't say what are everyone's opinions of me, but I can say what I've been told, and what I can perceive.

My close friends know me as someone who's loyal, and nice. NICE!! They say I'm nice. Those who know me well know I have two faces. I can be the sweetest, most caring person when someone needs me, but I can be a sarcastic individual when I have nothing to worry about. People say I'm also very funny, too. Not because I tell jokes, but because of my sarcasm and charisma. Heh, what do they know? Silly them...

Girls usually tell me I'm good looking, but I never believe them. Really, I don't. Not that it matters much, but I rarely believe when a girl tells me I'm "cute, hot, attractive, a catch." If that were true, my life would have been easier up to the last couple of years. I've been told I also have an attractive personality, because I stand for what I believe in, yet I'm not cranky about it.

Lately, I've even been called a bully. Of course, those who know me say I'm just showing my alter ego, while those who don't are just intimidated by me.

Even so, these "characteristics" of mine have developed over the last couple of years, so high school friends and such still see me as nothing more than a shy, quiet guy.

Can't wait 'till we meet again... [font=verdana]^_^[/font]


[b]How would I rather people saw me?[/b]

I really don't care. I am the way I am, and different people make different assumptions on me based on that. Neither is wrong, because each person perceives things differently. I won't bother myself with the "would," or "could."

Sometimes they can be PLAIN wrong though, and that's something I wouldn't like, from some people.

That's it. This post will be skimmed faster than you can say .

Yeah.[/color][/font]

[liamc2]

[quote][i]Originally posted by Harlequin[/i]
[b][color=red][/color][/b][/quote]

[quote][i]Originally posted by Ravenstorture[/i]
[b][color=green][/color][/b][/quote]

;_______________;

I had some idea, but not this much of an idea. I suppose if this was told to me irl I most likely would have sat mildly overwhelmed and doing a remarkable representation of a village idiot.

------

[b]Who am I in my own mind?[/b]

I am myself, obviously. Years of sitting around at primary school by myself and only occaisionally being with friends has enabled me to gain the remarkable ability to hold long and lengthy conversations with myself and distort the world around me and create life around me as I will.

But then I blink, and the world vanishes.

Even today I do this, I think, zone out as it were, and morph the world to my liking, bringing up something into vision and playing out a scene before my eyes. A dream just remembered.

Painful dreams pop up with the bad, the painful ones seem to be increasing, my head actually burns after the painful display of my bleeding corpse being thrown out the window.

Not surprisingly it becomes a bit of a drag. But it can also be an inspiration at times. Hence 'SYF.'

[b]Who am I to others?[/b]

Hopefully I'm a friend. I would not know where I'd be without my friends. Life simply would not exist. My existence would pale even further from the bleak shade of grey.

Thanks to those around me you could say my life is a vibrant array of colours, mostly orange. Now you know why I like it so much, it reflects how I feel, how I want to feel.

Unfortunately I'm more of a take person when it comes to emotions. Again, thanks to Rangeville, I was an emotionally unbalanced kid. Sometimes I'd just burst into tears under the slightest pressure. Life sucked about 60% of the time there.

But, again, it left me without the ability to appropriately generate any meagre form of emotional comfort.

Other than my friends I'm mostly badly introverted and shy. Conversation had to be generated for me, and even if it was, it was rather forced. Ribbing and teasing really hurts a kid, Gabbinbar started off as yet another blight on my little rollercoaster of life.

But then I got a friend. A first, [b]true[/b] friend. Michael. You could say he was a God from the A-crowders that descended to my lowly depths. He helped me grow you could say. My last few years of primary school was enjoyable, really enjoyable.

Seeing as I'm already rambling, might as well let the ride go on.

Highschool came with its ups and its downs. It started off on a real low, 'Hicks' found me. I don't know, it must be an inherent gene or something to pick up on the quiet kid with glasses. Odd though, I didn't [i]have[/i] glasses when Highschool arrived.

I was out on a limb on the tallest tree and someone cut the branch.

Gradually though friends appeared, don't ask me why it happened; I was hopeless at any form of conversation, I practically lived in the library because it was the only place I wasn't tormented.

I dunno, I found myself some brothers in arms and the rest is history.

Thanks to some serious emotional and social development I'm a normal guy, Rangeville is behind me and I'm better for it. I now have a real group of friends and I wouldn't be here without them.

[b]How would I rather people saw me?[/b]

As I am. Nothing more, nothing less. I am Liam, vaguely amusing at times, evil sense of humour when I try, outspoken thanks to a real benificiary kick in the pants in grade 10, and dashingly handsome if I do say so myself...

[tursi]

WHo am in my own mind?

I'm a loner, but an adventurer. I go to manny places in my mind that most people will never see.

to others?

I'm the crazy, happy-go-lucky, will do almost anything for some food girl. I'm supposed to be happy and make others happy.

how would you like others to see you?


I'd like them to see how i am alone in my room. because we are never truly ourselves until we are around no influences.

[Lady Macaiodh]

[COLOR=darkblue]i've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately (well, okay, more than usual) so this is actually a timely thread. maybe i'll figure something out as i'm writing.

[i][b]who am i in my own mind?[/b][/i]

i see myself as a person who--through circumstance as well as choices--has been through much hardship in order to prepare me for a great task that lies ahead. i don't know what that is yet... i think i'd like to become a doctor so i can start a free clinic & work w/ the homeless. i am a very empathetic person, but i can be selfish, too. i have a tendency to bury my feelings so i won't get hurt. i almost feel that emotions are a weakness, even though i'm extremely emotional. maybe i'm in denial... i'm not very satisfied w/ myself. i've struggled w/ numerous mental illnesses, & i'm long from "cured." i'm just starting to pull the pieces of my life together. so much has happened... the break-up of my marriage & all the abuse that it entailed... years of homelessness... the mental institutions... addiction... more things than i can possibly name. i try to figure out where it all began, but i can't. i've been on this downward spiral for as long as i can remember.

but what of these things makes me who i am? we are colored by [i]all[/i] our experiences, but refined by the bad ones. this is what i believe.

i feel i've hit the bottom & have started the upward climb for the first time in my life. but i'm having to build the ladder myself as i go.

[i][b]how do others see me?[/b][/i]

i baffle people a lot. people don't really understand me. they see me as wild, crazy, out-of-control. i've been told over & over that i've wasted my genius. my friends know i will never "screw" them, they can always count on me in times of need, even though i can't always be there for little things (like just hanging out). i'm extremely loyal to the people i love. my parents think i'm troubled & want to help me all the time. i'm just finally starting to let them. my brothers know what i've been through & relate to me. i'm an outsider in my extended family... "the freak." during my school years, i was a freak & a nerd, & seen as having horrible rebellion as well as anger problems.

&, as for all of you on the boards... well, i guess only you could answer that. ;)

[i][b]how do you want others to see you?[/i][/b]

i'm not sure. on one hand, i do want people to get to know the real me & appreciate it. on the other, that seems like way too much of a risk. someone would have to get a wrecking-ball to tear down the walls around me.

well, that's about it. also, i'd like to say to ravenstorture, you remind me more of myself in these posts than anybody else. i almost could have written what you did, but i'm in one of those analytical moods right now.[/COLOR] :smoke:

[Red]

[i]A side note : this is not trying to be self-bashing or whatever in any way, so please do not take it like that.[/i]

--------------

[b][color=003399][center]Who are you in your own mind?[/center]

In my own mind I am someone who has experienced so very little, but felt as if I have experienced a lot.

I am someone who is in desperate need of change, to get into gear and sort myself out so I can have a better time in the future. I use my emotions for guidance in life, and sometimes I follow them blindly, with no thought as to the consequences of my actions.

In my own mind, I feel as if I am misunderstood by a lot of people, that I do not belong in the situations that I am in all the time.

I am someone who can rely on friends to pull me back together when the pieces of me fall apart, and I rely heavily on the few close friends I have for this reason.

I'm a shy person, who finds it quite difficult to make new friends and even more difficult for something more.

I am someone who constantly aspires to be physically fit for the martial arts, and I find it hard due to my size.

[center]How do others see you?[/center]

Some see my as crazy, and probably very weird most of the time. They see me as a computer nerd, who is fat and can't get a girlfriend to save his life.

Others see me as a true friend, someone they can rely on when times are bad, and someone who won't sacrifice the friendship for anything.

[center]And how would you rather people saw you?[/center]

I would rather people saw me as a person with many views and aspirations, and an intelligent person with something to say.

I wish people could see me as someone who truly can use the martial arts at least half-decently, just that they would know I just haven't shown it yet.

Also, I would like certain people to see past the first layer, to get to know me a little better and maybe realise they actually might like me.[/b][/color]

[Imp]

Ooh, interesting questions!

[color=deeppink][font=century gothic][b]Who am I in my mind?[/b]
My personality changes very frequently, possibly every day! Sometimes I'm this jolly little bunny--always cheerful and positive! And I sing all the time! Sometimes, I'm a hyper dragonfly--I act as if I just had a cup of coffee! I'm very awake, hyper, and quite jittery. Here I shiver a lot, even in the hot weather. Sometimes I'm a sad little kitten--in this state I'm very depressed and moody. I'm almost always in this state when I cry. Sometimes I'm a mystical fox--here I pay close attention to superstition, and I act sort of like I have these supernatural powers and threaten to use them on someone if they don't respect me. Here I'm also taken over by psychic power! Sometimes, I'm an aggressive dragon--in this state, I become enraged very easily. Also, I might lose control of myself, thus saying or doing something I shouldn't have done. Sometimes, lastly, I'm a lazy froggy--I'm lazy, of course, and I don't pay attention to the time. I'm usually in this state when I'm on the internet, like I am right this very moment. Usually the result of this state is staying up late and getting up late! Overall, no matter what personality I'm in, I see myself as being very smart and funny. It seems that whenever I have a conversation with someone, I almost always say something funny. Also, I'm very spiritual, though most people are not aware of that. I've been that way ever since 9/11/01, quite surprisingly... I also see myself as being creative; I created quite a few songs and characters.[/color]
[/font]
[font=century gothic][color=limegreen][b]How do others see me?[/b]
People say that I have a good sense of color; my clothes look really pretty, they say. They like the pretty colors too! I almost never wear plain colors like brown or white or something like that. They also see me as a loner, or at least I think so. At school, I don't have any real friends. A lot of people try to correct that by talking to me occasionally. However, a lot of people like to tease me and try to play tricks on me. They see me as a nerd as well sometimes. They also see me as being smart; they find that out by how often I answer questions correctly in class, and stuff like that. Plus, they like my songs and think I'm good at coming up with them. A lot of people ask me to sing one of my songs for them![/color][/font]

[color=skyblue][font=century gothic][b]How do I want others to see me?[/b]
I'm actually pretty satisfied with the way people see me right now. There's a lot more to me than that, but those are mostly deep dark secrets I only share with certain people. Basically, I'm just in a state of nirvana (well, sort of) right now! I don't know what I want to change in myself! Ahhhh, life is good...[/color][/font]

[SuperMuffin]

[color=red]How do I see myself? I see myself as "the smart, unpopular girl" Don't get me wrong, I like my life! I am nice and smart obviously and have been involved in MANY skool activiities. Mind you, I'm only in Gr.8 and there are only about 350 kids in my skool but I do contribute in the skool in many ways, take a look:
*Gr.5:
-jr. v-ball team
-intermeral v-ball
-class rep for Student's council
*Gr.6
-jr. v-ball team
-intermeral v-ball
-class rep for Student's council
*Gr.7
-soccer team
-v-ball team
-b-ball team
-intermeral sports in the above sports
-Vice President in the Student's Council
-snowblading elective
-drama
*Gr.8
-soccer team
-v-ball team
-b-ball team
-intermeral sports in the above sports
-President in the Student's Council
-referee for jr. v-ball
-Writer for the skool Newspaper
-snowblading elective
-drama

I definetly do my share of socializing in skool and I work hard to keep up my 90% average. I'm also in Gr.6 piano and Gr.2 theory. I am in a great group of friends and my best friend and I have known each other sice Senior Kindergarten. I think I'm pretty succesful.

How do others see me? Well, I don't think anyone really hates me but I could be wrong. The popular people talk to me but as i said before, there really arent that many pepl at my skool. I think the main reason the guys talk to me is because I'm nice and smart, not becuase of my looks that's for sure! And I think I fit in with most of the kids in my class. They would never ask me to go to the movies or anything, but they are always really nice. A couple of the girls on the same sports teams as me joke around and include me in inside jokes and fun stuff at skool. So ya, I am respected to a certain piont.

How do I want to be seen? Well(and I know this sounds superficial) I would like to have a larger and more popular rang of friends. So I would like to be more outgoing and more fun to be around. I would also like to be skinnier and I am going to start jogging everyday when the weather is warmer. I am in basketball so that hepls plus I do a 20 minute walk everyday for delivering papers.

Hope this was detailed enough lol. Wow it feels great to get that out! Thanx for starting this thread! xox[/color]

[Darkmoon]

Who am I in my own mind?

I'm an annoying everyday person with her own happy and dark thoughts. I never (or atleast try never) to show anger towards anyone or anything. I can be fun to be around or depressing when in a not so talkative mood.
I'm happy with who I am, just not the way I show it.
I can be anything I want to be as long as I work hard (according to my parent's and teachers) but I feel I give up to easily. I need to work on that...
I can find over a hundered flaws with myself, but I simply don't care about them anymore. Accept me for what I am or just leave me alone.
I've got meny friends but I don't feel I appreciate them enough.
I give as much as other's give me and take only as much as other's take. Don't be greedy, that's my philosophy.
I have multipule personalities (like everyone else). I'm one person at home, another at school, and a different one while outside on my own.
I see myself a loser in some of my qualities and a winner in other's.
How I feel about myself is really balanced out. I don't feel good or bad about what I am. Just things that go on around me can have influences on a certain side of me.
I've got an angery side that I don't often show to people outside, and I've got a happy side, which I sheild and hold back (so that I don't frighten people off). I've got a sad side that I only let out when alone someone, preferably in my room, and a side that feels nothing at all (I just stare at the roof and wonder)

How do other's see me?

My first immpressions are often weak so what people think of me obviously vary. My close friends say that I'm a catter box, a radio without an off switch. Other less close people say that I'm shy, quiet and keep to myself (dislike this. Need to work on that too).

How do I want to be seen?

As a possible friend. Someone that people can talk to and don't mind hanging around. Average at the least. I don't expect much from other's... Or I try not to anyway's.

[silentdeath]

Who am I in my own mind?

i'm a nobody,i'm the kidin the corne reading magizne thinking about my girl.natalie.she is me and i am her.we've been going out for 4 1/2 years not much since i' only 13,14 in 15 days!).we see each other alot and talk.

i'm the kid that thinksthat everything an everyone is against him.i'm funny yet pathetic.i'm happy yet sad.i'm so many things all tied into one packag.i'm me.

How do other's see me?

it matters who they are.som people just say dork and walk away.some people look up to me as a modean friend.i have no idea what else except a good basketball player.

How do I want to be seen?

i wan't to be seen as rough and tough but to my friends open and deep.i want to act like myself around everyone and never change.i wan't to be giving.

tha's about it!

[Frankie]

My Mind:

The lazy, selfcentered, selfish, fat kid....
quiet some times.. loud others... non scocialble... the type of person who puts herself down... im the person who used to hurt myself for who knows what reson

Other:

To a few im selfless... for i will put my feelings aside for others... to help others ill risk it all to help a certin someone in need. they say thats selfless.... another person who i have spoken to personaly ... said im... smart cute... undiscribable..

Wish to be seen as:

I dont wish to be seen any differently

they cant think what they like... and they will not like i can change that

[Na'dou]

[b]Who am I in my mind?[/b]

This is a dangerous question to ask, but you asked...

I am a person who's always thinks she has no place among the people of her generation or any generation for that matter. She likes things most others don't, take the crush on Jack, the liking of drawing cemeteries sometimes. She's usually left out, so she thinks she's semi alone most of the time (you always have one friend you can turn to), and she doesn't know who to call real friends because well, she just thinks so differently. She's very different, and what truly goes on in her head is so secret that even the day she dies no one will know what her true thoughts are. I think I'm just plain meant to be dependent on myself alot like Lara Croft because nobody will except me for who I believe I am...

[Subversive]

Who am I in my own mind?
I'm a good kid who likes to have fun. I'm a good person, with my own flaws and foibles, who's pretty funny and fun to hang around with. I'm smart, really smart, and still not as smart as I would like to be. I'm the average physical guy, but not the average in anything else, infact noone is average its just a concept.

How do others see you?
You know that kid, no you don't, no one knows ME but everyone knows of me. I'm the geek, smartkid, freak, loser, who's in Athletics. I'm completely oblivious to what most think, beyond their thoughts which they show right to everyone. I'm semi-funny, really smart, and pretty annoying (if you're not one of my closer friends). I'm well liked, yet greatly hated, but if it came down to it you'ld help me out because I'm a good guy.

How would I rather others see me?
How they do now, who cares, aslong as my close friends see me for who I am (and still accept me) does it matter?

[Na'dou]

Hmm, well I think I've been quiet enough don't you? I don't know if this is allowed, and sorry for being annoying if it isn't...

Who are you?

I am a young African-American girl with big hopes of being a famous 13 year old writer...I'm not much of a people person, so I don't get along with everybody. I'm different too, very different...I am so different, it's like well, nobody wants to except me. I'm too different for everybody. Whatever one person likes, I'm usually the opposite. I put myself down alot, and I usually feel lonely when I don;t have anything to do, or no one I like to be with. I'm not good at explaining either.

I'm also a very blank person. If someone dies, I don't take it as hard as others. I don't know why, but I don't. I don't usually share my feelings with anybody. I mean come on, who cares about me enough to sit there while I try to struggle and get it out to them. I have no one to talk to when I'm not on the net, that why I hope I never lose the friends I do have. It's so hard for me to be appealing to others where they'd want to be my friend. That's why I write the way I do. It's my vision of what's not here. I always write about friends and I never really have them fight. Once they're friends, they never say goodbye unless they really have to. Take Shystor and Reena for instance, through all of the troubles and changes they've been through, they're still the best of friends and always will be. You probably don't know Shy and Reena, maybe I'll get around to introducing you to them one day.

I'm also a very lazy person. You notice, when I get bored, I'm not really bored, I'm just too lazy to finish. I've either found something else, or school has just made it where I can't enjoy it anymore. Sorry if my laziness has evey offended anyone. It's understandable if you're mad. That's why I just feel that I'm meant to be alone sometimes. I'm the only one like me, and I have nothing else in common with this planet or its people. I love life, but I want more out of it than just being friends with people who are 42 and higher...
If you want to ignore me, you can...All my other friends do...Sorry for wasting your lives, I just don't really have anyone I can directly talk to...except myself and the Almighty One above...

[Posthumous]

[b]Hmm... Interesting

Well I am a 16-year-old Muslim male that hopes to play prof. sports.I never give up and like stuff dangerous.I have many many great friends,I'm a very people person.I like many things that my nationality doesn't interest in, such as anime.They never talk about and only a couple of my cousins like it.

I am a very emotional person that's never thinks of anything perfect.I act ver miserable at times and most happy.but never both at the same time.I don't know that much english, sometimes I use a special transalator.I'm am mostly never right nor ever wrong.I am very nice, but sometimes go insane and throw things.I consider many things different.I am not much of a night person nor day person.More of the afternoon.

I am sometimes lazy.Sometimes I just sit and think for long periods of time.I take things seriously at moments of time, but don't give a damn at times.I don't like writing many things that are school related, but things I like are thing I write about.I'm not mean to friends at all, but some people piss me off.I also love to live.It's such a beuty...yet one thing I hate about life is...you have to die...[/b]