Writing Broken Promise

[Talon]

[color=teal][i]Five words was what he said.
Five words I took to heart.
He said with such feeling, I read,
I should've known he'd tear me apart.

The movies, he said I could go.
With my love, he said I could be near.
Now, at last, I truly do know.
A promise made should have been transparent clear.

I cleaned the house, made up the beds.
I scrubbed every room down hard.
I made sure the greens were greens, the reds were reds,
On laundry duty. But my dad's just a goddamned bard.

Lying when he chooses to get me to work.
Making sure I have a goal to work for.
Then he shatters me, the f*cking jerk.
Never again will I believe him with a heart this sore...[/color][/i]

[Bing]

[size=1][color=darkblue] This is quite a strong poem. I don't know if the message in it, is real life, or just a bad situation you thought up, but either way, it has touched me. Where did you get the inspiration from?[/color][/size]

[Mitch]

[color=red] Ah, I completely and fully follow you with that poem, Etarah.

My Dad quite annoys me as well.

Nice rhythm, nice rhyming, good job. 8/10.[/color]

[Talon]

[color=teal]Alexus, the inspiration was, as Mitch said, my dad.[/color]

[Bing]

[size=1][color=darkblue] He being a bit of an A'hole then? I know how you feel, and I think it's great how you have translated your thoughts, into a great poem. 8/10, I really like it. One of the best pieces I have seen in a while.[/color][/size]