Writing A story in the works..

[Ninjaman]

Okay, I have written lots of stories in my life, but I never took my time to finish them. But this time I have one I want to finish because of my own reasons, one of which is because the characters are based on my friends. However, I want some help and I find all the stories made on this board quite interesting, so I ask if some of you guys could help me with my story. I'd greatly appreciate it!

[Dragon Warrior]

I'm a writer. You can see some of my current work on here or past work. Whatever. But I'll help ya anyways ^^

[Ninjaman]

Thank you for helping me! Okay let me see if I can give an outline of what I have in my story. There's a teenager name Scott and his school gets taken over by terroists. Before the school gets taken over by terroists, Scott has a dream that involves his school and he finds a trap door in one of the rooms. When the school gets taken over by terrorists, Scott is placed in a room with other students while the terrorists "prepare". Scott volunteers to take a chance and find a way out. He asks his friend Davis to come along. Scott and Davis sneak to the room where Scott dreamt about the trapdoor and it turns out it was real. Scott and Davis sneak into the trapdoor where they enter a tunnel. Inside the tunnel they meet a girl in a prison named Lisa. She's in prison because the terrorists put her in there when they caught her overhearing their conversation about taking over the school. Scott, Davis and Lisa find a way out of the tunnel. They find a payphone so they can call the police but they run into a terrorist and a chase begins. Scott and the others run inside a forest where they meet a dying man in robes. He gives Scott and Davis swords and Lisa a rod, then the terroist appears and kills the man. The terroist then summons a monster to kill Scott and the others, but they kill the monster with their new weapons. Scott and the rest escape and make it to another phone where they finally call the police. A police car comes to pick up the three teenagers, but the terroist appears and kills the policemen. Scott and the others run to a parking garage where the terroist appears and they fight. The teenagers defeat the terrorist but as he dies he turns into a monster. Another police car comes and picks up the teenagers and takes them to the school where other police cars are. Turns out that an invisible force is keeping people from entering the school. The teenagers tell the police of the tunnelthey found under the school. The police tell Scott and the others to stay, but they sneak after the police. When the police make it out of the tunnel and enter the school, they are caught by the terroists, but the teenagers aren't. They go back in the tunnel, but they find a new path in the tunnel. The new path takes them into a mine. At the end of the mine, Scott and the others find some students unconscious. One of them wakes up and tells the three that the terrorists are making the students and teachers work in the mine to find some type of material. The student then points to a glowing crystal in the wall. Apparently they found what the the terrorists are looking for. The terrorists appear with the police, so Scott and the rest have to surrender. The terrorists bring more students to mine more and they find a room full of the glowing crystals. One of them contains a girl. When one of the terrorist comes close to the crystal, a flash emits and the girl comes out. The terrorists call her the guardian and she introduces herself as Ally. The terrorists summon a monster which Ally loses against. The monster turns to Scott, Davis, and Lisa, but they manage to defeat it. Ally and the terrorists are amazed that the teenagers won. A terrorists, Lance, casts a spell to destroy Scott, Davis and Lisa, but Ally jumps in and casts a forcefield around them. More terrorists come to support Lance's spell. Ally says she's going to teleport them out, but Lance says that once they leave they'll use the crystals to make an impenetrable shield. Scott and Davis refuse to leave but they have no choice and Ally teleports them out.

Here's where I stop, but I have bits of how everything goes. Tell me what you think and PM me or reply here. Thank you!

[Jagan]

Pretty good. Tip: Go more into the terrorists. I wanna know more.

[Rhys Mayiessen]

[color=navy]Interesting....almost a cross between fantasy and real life fiction. I write stories though they're not that good so I probably couldn't help you. I finished two that are about 30-40 pages typed.[/color]

[Ninjaman]

Okay, story update. Sorry for taking so long, heh. Anyway, after Ally teleports Scott and the rest out of the school is when she explains. She says she comes from another world with kingdoms and technology, but it has been taken over by the same people who have taken over Scott's school. The group is called the Fallen Angels(not sure if I want to keep the name). They go from planet ti planet wreaking havoc and taking the planet's most precious treasure which, most of the time, strengthening the group. Not only do they take over the planet, but they take in people from the planets who want to join them. When they came to Ally's planet, they somehow learned about the crystals, which are called the Astral fragments(again not sure of the name). Before the Fallen Angels came, the king of Ally's world hid the Astral fragments deep in many worlds, because he knows about the ture power of the crystals. The king placed some of his loyal followers, one of them being her, in the areas he hid the crystals. Ally knows little about the Astral Fragments or the current condition of the king and his family, but she knows of another area on Earth where more Astral Fragments are hidden. She states that one of the areas has a guardian that researched the Astral Fragments and she's going to find him to learn more about crystals and find the rest of the guardians so they can fight off the Fallen Angels. She wishes for Scott, Davis, and Lisa to help. Of course they don't answer right away, but Scott says that if they decide to go, that the three of them will meet at the train station at the middle of the night to go to the airport, where Ally will wait. That night, Scott tells the whole story to his parents and tells them that he wishes to go. After a bit of convincing, Scott prepares and leaves for the train at the planned time. Davis and Lisa show up after Scott does and they're off to the airport. There, they meet up with Ally. She gives them the ability to use magic, but not fully, as it is not easy to give someone the ability to fully use magic. Ally tells Scott and the rest areas that have Astral fragments, where the guardian Ally spoke of might be.

I don't know what area they'll go to first, let alone altogether, since I have a lot to choose from. I'm trying to get areas in North America. I'm also trying to limit 1 area per state. And I also want to avoid putting too many areas. Here's a list of what I have so far to choose from.

Mount Rushmore- South Dakota
San Francisco/Los Angeles-California
Las Vegas-Nevada
Miami/Orlando-Florida
New York(My, so many to choose from there!)
Chicago-Illinois
Seattle-Washington
Yellowstone National Park-Wyoming
Grand Canyon-Arizona

That's it. I mainly want to keep New York and Las Vegas(maybe if I don't pick Los Angeles). If anyone else to state some good spots for my characters to go, please go ahead. Or give me opinions about the ones I chose so far.