Vegitto4 Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Please let me know what you think, I posted this already, but got no feedback. I was rather anxious for some. Translucification As I walk through the halls And sit down in class Nobody notices Because I wear the mask The mask that mirrors All of their faces It mirrors them all Including their places Will they ever Look through the mask Or is it impossible To see past the glass The glass that surrounds me Is more that that It mirrors a reflection That conceals the past So when you look at me What do you see A Mirrors's Reflection Or my Reality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Bravo! Good rhyming type (like A/B/C/B u know), good ending, good txt. Overall: Impressive! 9.5/10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bing Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 [size=1][color=darkblue]Wow, that's really good. I like the whole rhyming system you've got going, very impressive. Overall 9/10. Can't think of any improvements either, Keep up the good work![/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 [color=red] Heh, not too bad, not too bad. It certainly has room for improvment, but, don't worry, it all comes in time. Sorry, but I'm rather critical, so don't take me for giving you a pretty low score in comparision to the others so far. I would give it about...a 7.5/10. Still, coming from me, at least...I suppose, that's not that bad. Keep writing! ;)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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