Dragon Warrior Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Yet another poem I wrote within a half an hour. Maybe improvements need to be done because of that, but you be the happy go-lucky judge. Here it is... [B]To Save a Dragon[/B] Listen to this story that's about to be told, about a fire-breathing dragon and a knight so bold. You may not expect what I'm about to say, but this dragon is not who the knight wishes to slay. They've actually been friends ever since hatchling and child, growing up with each other as valiant and wild. But what happens when a thorn breaks the skin? Shall one pay for their cold-hearted sin? A dragon slayer yearns to kill the knight's comrade, to demolish all dreams and good times they had. So the knight and drake came up with a scheme, where the dragon lead the slayer from mountain to stream. He lead the slayer far, a distance from home, across the plains where the antelope roam. The dragon soon lead the man to his deadly trap, unexpected by the slayer was this terrible mishap. It was in the high mountains, the ones that gleamed in the night, the slayer was then ambushed by the dragon's knight. Two swords had clashed, blood spilled on the stone, the slayer slashed his enemy's arm straight to the bone. Pain is like life, it comes and it dies, the knight glared with his illuminating eyes. A wound is a reward taken from battle, like a sheperd should be proud that a wolf chose his cattle. The slayer lifted his sword, ready to kill, but was bodyslammed by the drake that howled out a shrill. The two of them tumbled over gravel and rock, but the two of them clung like a living lock. But fate is a strange thing, something that should be adorned, a fatal accident happened before the knight could have warned. The dragon and slayer, locked into one, fell from the cliffs like the evening sun. The knight peered over the cliffside, in hope they were there, but as said before, fate is unfair. Fate can cause life, but can also make one die, but then again, it made dragons able to fly. [I]-Gavin K. Brown[/I] If you have any questions, comments, blah blah blah, feel free to post 'em. But I have one question and you have to look close to know. What do you think happened in the end? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhys Mayiessen Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 [color=navy]Oh wow you're really good at writing poems!^^ This ones so sad though the dragon dies....poor poor dragon.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted January 28, 2003 Author Share Posted January 28, 2003 Yes, yes. Saddy. Good poem. yes. Cooliesness... yes.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sui Generis Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Dragon didn't die....he flew! Or atleast thats what I think o.O Anyways....to put it simply... I loved it! It was awesome, great rhythme...and all that fun poetic stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deedlit Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 [color=009966]Long live the dragon!! ^-^ heh I don't think it died either....I defy the odds! :p That was a great poem, Gavers! ^__^ [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted January 28, 2003 Author Share Posted January 28, 2003 Good work you two. It didn't die. You were the first (out of the thousands that have read it ^^) to actually catch the part about it flying back to the cliff. I think it's obvious, but then again, it tends to decieve *shifts eyes* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sui Generis Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 I thought it was obviouse too, oh well. Uhm again its great.... You're kidding....we were the first....sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted January 28, 2003 Author Share Posted January 28, 2003 Indeed. But then again, poetry is a harsh mistress ^^ Thanks for the compliments all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegeta rocker Posted January 29, 2003 Share Posted January 29, 2003 i was like, huh? Dragons fly of course he didn't die. That is really good! The surprise ending has a subtle tinge to it. I like it, it kind of reminds me of my old dragon poem. Lear and keye, but yours was much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonstar Posted January 29, 2003 Share Posted January 29, 2003 :D DRAGONS! This one REALLY cool poem, my poetry is usually kinda depressing (the tiny amount that I wrote for english coursework) though considering my subject, it couldn't really be cheerful. Nice poem, MOOOOOOOOORE!:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted January 29, 2003 Share Posted January 29, 2003 [color=red] It was simple, yet I love it for that. It as rhythmical as well, and I liked that. But I do think you overstressed on the rhyming a small bit, and could've gone away from every stanza only being two-line. But other than that, this is a very nice little poem. Especially with the last stanza. 8/10[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted January 29, 2003 Author Share Posted January 29, 2003 Yeah. My next poem I started writing has 4 lines instead of 2 as you said. Plus, that was about a half an hour's worth so you can guess why it's goofy. You like the word stanza, don't ya? Heh. You've got it Dragonstar. More to come. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhys Mayiessen Posted January 29, 2003 Share Posted January 29, 2003 [color=navy]Thanks people for making me feel like a total idiot >.< Well it said that it fell of the cliff and that WHEN dragons learned to fly. I thought that it meant that after that incident dragons learned to fly. I know that dragons fly though there can be some dragons don't have wings...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted January 29, 2003 Author Share Posted January 29, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Dragon Warrior [/i] [B]Yet another poem I wrote within a half an hour. Maybe improvements need to be done because of that, but you be the happy go-lucky judge. Here it is... [B]To Save a Dragon[/B] Listen to this story that's about to be told, about a fire-breathing dragon and a knight so bold. You may not expect what I'm about to say, but this dragon is not who the knight wishes to slay. They've actually been friends ever since hatchling and child, growing up with each other as valiant and wild. But what happens when a thorn breaks the skin? Shall one pay for their cold-hearted sin? A dragon slayer yearns to kill the knight's comrade, to demolish all dreams and good times they had. So the knight and drake came up with a scheme, where the dragon lead the slayer from mountain to stream. He lead the slayer far, a distance from home, across the plains where the antelope roam. The dragon soon lead the man to his deadly trap, unexpected by the slayer was this terrible mishap. It was in the high mountains, the ones that gleamed in the night, the slayer was then ambushed by the dragon's knight. Two swords had clashed, blood spilled on the stone, the slayer slashed his enemy's arm straight to the bone. Pain is like life, it comes and it dies, the knight glared with his illuminating eyes. A wound is a reward taken from battle, like a sheperd should be proud that a wolf chose his cattle. The slayer lifted his sword, ready to kill, but was bodyslammed by the drake that howled out a shrill. The two of them tumbled over gravel and rock, but the two of them clung like a living lock. But fate is a strange thing, something that should be adorned, a fatal accident happened before the knight could have warned. The dragon and slayer, locked into one, fell from the cliffs like the evening sun. The knight peered over the cliffside, in hope they were there, but as said before, fate is unfair. Fate can cause life, but can also make one die, but then again, it made dragons able to fly. [I]-Gavin K. Brown[/I] If you have any questions, comments, blah blah blah, feel free to post 'em. But I have one question and you have to look close to know. What do you think happened in the end? [/B][/QUOTE] I don't see a "when" in there, but don't worry about it. You're not stupid. most of the people that have read it didn't catch that. trust me. It's about a 10% chance someone did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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