Juu Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [color=ff00cc] [size=1]It's a strange thing, really... I haven't cried for a year, I think... And just now I realize exactly how much I've held in. When I'd get upset, I'd just keep it in, and try my best to be happy for it. It felt as if it really didn't matter, and I would get over it anyway. Alot of things have happened this year, I mean, my parents got divorced a few months ago, and my mom's even sick about a thousand miles away from San Francisco. My dad's yelled at me for getting a A- for my trimester grade, and always just kept telling me I was doing things wrong, which was discouraging, but I always tried to leave that behind. Also, I've broken up with two b/f's this year, one in May, when I moved, and one just yesterday. On top of that, most of the closest people to me are talking about suicide and how much they hate themselves. I found out a friend's moving away this August, about three to four hours away from here. I've moved 1000 miles from where I used to live, and went to a new school, and made new friends. I've been doing this all my life, but those friends I had before coming here really ment alot to me, and I moved as if everything in the past would just disappear. I've made alot of great friends here, but it feels like I'm still missing something... Like I've held something in too long, and all I can do is cry. It feels weird crying after a year of holding in alot of things, perhaps too many things. I guess I just noticed that last night...[/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posthumous Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [COLOR=green][SIZE=1][i]I know what you mean.Happened to me too. I just hate myself now.I feel like killing myself.Everything I had is all gone for me.But I guess it's still ok..... I just wish I had a time machine....[/i][/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boothten Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Damn, I'm sorry, and I thought I was going through alot. Well, I guess crying is a kind of way to let things out. It tells other people and I guess yourself that you need sometime before the scars in your heart are fully healed. I understand what you're going through, my best friend moved from here in San Diego all the way to Las Vegas. He occasionally comes, but it's not the same. My mom and Dad are starting to fight and have divorce in their mind, but are trying to get through that for me and my sister. Who broke up with you btw? If you don't want to say, I'll understand. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on ... in the internet or just talk, I'll be right there! ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest visser 3 Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Very Powerful.I think its Great.Oh yeah thanx for being my buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Im sorry, I really am. I also had to deal with problems similar to this. Of course, there are as many things for me to deal with but there are things that we both had to do, so with those in mind, I can empathize with you. (its on the boards in the lounge.) I want to say above all else that things always change and as bad as things may seem now, they just might get better soon. Hopfully really soon. I think that you have shown many of us on the boards a great deal of charactor and have also made the boards a better place to be. Every day, people say good things about you, I cant even imagine how much "fan mail" you get in the form of PMs. I know that you will be able to get through these tough times, I just wish that those of us on the boards could do more to comfort you in this time. I hope things get better soon and good luck with everything that has been bothering you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [color=0099FF] [size=1]I am sorry... but everyone must go through all the steps of their life. Think positive... isn't that what you have always told me? Cousin... Look forward there is always sunshine.[/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted January 30, 2003 Author Share Posted January 30, 2003 [color=ff00cc] [size=1]Thanks a bunch, you guys. :whoops: I felt alot better after typing this... It felt like I got something out. ^_^ Although... I'm starting to think if I should've just posted this in a blog or something. *blinks*[/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 when i broke up with my boyfriend about a couple months ago... well in september I hated his guts.... yet a friend told me just a bit ago that the reson...... someone keeps reminding of Whats his face (ex boyfriends new name)...was cause i might have actualy liked him and stuff and ... you know talkign about your feelings with others is a good step to recovery... if you hold it in... you turn into a dark rain cloud... meaning your just...a huge cloud waiting to pour... i guess i shouldent have posted..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [size=1]Juu, I'm so sorry. You've been a really good friend to me and I hate seeing you upset.. but Juu, if you feel like crying, don't hold it back. You'll only end up feeling worse. Things will look up for you soon, Juuy, and if you ever want to talk, don't hesitate to IM me, okay? ^_^[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amorphous Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 I know how you feel, well ok I don't. Instead of crying though, I think I'm slightly insane. Strange, I can tell you that... otherwise don't be afraid to let it out. I guess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krademon Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 yea, I know what its like to hold it in, I do the same and pretend it doesent bother me. But at night when you look at your own thoughts its like, I never realised I thought that way... But on suicide. Don't. Whats the point of spending your whole life growing and learing and affecting others and then killing yourself. It won't solve the problems, but it does stop them from getting better, you can't do anything when your dead. You cant tell people you love them, you cant talk with your friends, you cant eat your favorite food. 'Life is strength, this is not to be contested. you live, you affect your wold' Jhon Irecnicus But the thing is, suicide is just the easy way out. Life has alot to give. Alot of happy things, so dont quit. You dont know what you might miss out on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Asuka Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [color=hotpink][size=1]I'm glad you could hold it in and not cry...I have the hardest time doing that. When I'm upset, it just flows out. And I cry at the stupidest things, and the important things are the ones that I can't seem to find myself crying about. I'm sorry to hear about your family. A few weeks ago, my family was on the verge of a break down and my parents were close to divorce. I definately know how that can go. But you just have to remember to be strong, which you obviously have. An A- is great. Your dad doesn't realize how good he has it to have such a brilliant daughter. Good job.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syk3 Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Sometimes it's just better to let it all out, and cry. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for what you have gone through this year, but remember that you have a lot to be happy about. Just look at that buddy list in your signature! Just remember that you've got friends here that you can talk to about anything. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syn Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 I try not to cry, as I dont think enough of myself as it is, crying makes me feel softer, weaker and other words to that effect. I try not to let my true feelings out to my parents and so on, to avoid conflict and so I dont have to talk to anyone really. I dont know if im lazy or im just one of those people who dont share their feelings. *shrug* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Cry yer eyes out once in a while.. I dunno rent a sad movie.... Still sounds like it's been a rough year, this one'll be better, I promise. I'll give ya a cookie if it's not. ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syk3 Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Kenji [/i] [B]I try not to cry, as I dont think enough of myself as it is, crying makes me feel softer, weaker and other words to that effect. I try not to let my true feelings out to my parents and so on, to avoid conflict and so I dont have to talk to anyone really. I dont know if im lazy or im just one of those people who dont share their feelings. *shrug* [/B][/QUOTE] Yeah, I don't cry either, but in this case I believe it may help Juu, if anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Juuthena [/i] [B][color=ff00cc] [size=1]It's a strange thing, really... I haven't cried for a year, I think... And just now I realize exactly how much I've held in.[/color] [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=darkblue]ahh, yes. i do the same. when i get upset, i just sort of shut down inside & go numb. the thing is, i often [i]want[/i] to cry, but i can't. i feel that weird ache in my throat (you know what i mean) & i think to myself "get out, get out, get out!" but the most i can do is tear up occasionally. i've always been this way. then, every couple of years, i burst into tears over something really stupid, like the theme song for 7th Heaven (that really happened once). i know that's my way of getting it out. i can't let myself cry over something that matters, b/c i'd have to admit it's bothering me. see what i mean? i'm glad for the boards, b/c it's the one place i can talk about my feelings.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentdeath Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 when i was 9 my mom died of melanoma a skin cancer. i criedfor nearly two days.she was my best friend.now if i ge hurt i don't cry,if i get cut i don't cry,but whenever i think about her i cry. i guess its healthy.....at least healthier then expressing that sorrow, pain, and anger in another form. crying has made me a better person. *tear* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest visser 3 Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 I'm pretty sure we have all went through something similar to this i know i have,but we get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCBaggee Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 [color=red]Love is a touchy subject, and at the same time a beautiful one. Situations like these hurt very much, but I have found that in the end you will only come to find out more about who you are and where you're going. Best of luck in the future. --Chris[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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