Queen Asuka Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [color=hotpink][size=1]This is something that I've been thinking about lately, but I haven't said anything about. I have this guy friend at school who I've known since the 9th grade. We used to be sort of close and he used to call me everyday and we'd talk, but it was nothing more than a casual relationship. Well lately, I've noticed that he always wants me to hug him, or he'll come up behind me when I'm at my locker and stand behind me in almost an embrace, and there's nothing I can do about. I'm too scared to tell him I'm uncomfortible with it, and we aren't really that close anymore, but I think he likes me. What should I do?[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zidargh Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [SIZE=1][COLOR=darkblue] Awww, I've been in this situation with a girl once, but this is what I would do... Well, seeing as you two have known eachother for many years, and you seem to get on really well(Though you feel a little uncomfortable at this present time), the only thing I can think of to say is as follows: - ''Erm, hey, can we talk? The thing is, I've been picking up some signs from you for some reason (You really know why) and its just feeling a little strange. I'm flattered you like me and all, but you and me have got on really well, lets not change that.'' Sorry if I sound really stupid, but hey, I'm sure you wnat to stay friends right? [/COLOR][/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 I would have to agree with zidane. Pull him to the side one day when you have the time to make a little private discussion, and then let him know whats up. You cant blame a guy for trying, but you can tell him that its not going to work. Of course, I know you will handle this with the utmost regard for his feelings, but you will still need to give him a blunt statment that lets him know his advances are "unwelcomed." I wish you luck with this, but then again, I was never the kind of guy to pull these sorts of stunts, so I cant really say I want you to be all too gentle. Fellas that make girls uncomfortable with advances like this arent very cool in my opinion. But then again, if he stops it when you ask, that would be enough reason to never hold it against him, which Im sure you woulnt do. good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syn Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Tell him, he'll get over it. Its really that simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syk3 Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Yeah, my advice is to just be honest with him about how you feel. It should help him realize what he is doing and stop, but if he doesn't, tell Ryan about it, hahaha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Queen Asuka [/i] [B][color=hotpink][size=1] I'm too scared to tell him I'm uncomfortible with it, and we aren't really that close anymore, but I think he likes me. What should I do?[/color][/size] [/B][/QUOTE] Put him down quick before he gets the impression you like him back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 Harry's right. If you let it go on, he might think you like it.,. Easiest way : Get a friend to tell him. ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnum Apex Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [font=trebuchet ms][color=darkblue]Oh dear... Telling him is the best decision you can make. Unlike girls, we guys suck at indirect behavior, hidden messages and going around in circles. We will never get the message unless you tell us what you want and feel in a straight way. Sure, like people have said before him, tell him you want to talk. Tell him the truth about how you feel, but don't forget to be straight. Be forewarned: He WILL get hurt, and there's no other way around it. If you sugarcoat what you're going to say, you'll just be telling him, "I'm not sure if what I'm saying is what I feel," which will cause his behavior to remain. Sadly, it will also be VERY hard to keep being friends with him, since his feelings for you won't just wash away, and feelings are tough to hide properly. This is up to you, though. Well, I wish you the best of luck.[/color][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kei Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [color=royalblue]I have to agree with Zidane on this one. The best thing to do is sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel about it. An uncomfortable friendship isn't really a friendship at all to me, but that's just my opinion...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted January 30, 2003 Share Posted January 30, 2003 [color=indigo][size=1]... If I was me, but a girl, I would probably punch him in the face, lol. That would most definitely get him to stop. Let us just call that "Plan B", though, lol. I agree with everyone else. Just tell him to stop, and be strict with it. If his feelings get hurt, which they probably will, they get hurt. Do not dwell on it. He brought it upon himself. But yeah, if worse comes to worst... slug him. ^-^ If the school tries to get you in trouble for it, you will not. If it makes you uncomfortable, it will be considered harassment by the school, which is pretty much what it is in general. Of course, the fact that you have not told him to stop is not helping. If you tell him to, and he continues, you can take it to the authority and they will handle it. ... So call violence "Plan C". First, tell him to stop in whatever way you can (try and be strict). If he continues, tell someone of authority in your school. They will most likely get him in trouble for that. I would hope he would have enough sense to stop after this.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mist Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 [color=crimson][size=1] I must go against this tide advice, actually. I tried the exact same thing with a guy friend of mine, and I guess he was either angry or devastated, because he never spoke to me again. He's going to hug you; it's natural. BUt talking to him bluntly might hurt him. Avoiding him isn't going to help either; he'll only find you. Hmmm...maybe you should have a friend mention that he's been trying to get rather close to you lately, and have her say, in an advising tone, that you're not really like that. (Like that's not the right approach.) The second time this situation happened to me, I did that, and they guy totally backed off. I don't know if it'll work with you, but I say it's worth a try.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 [color=ff00cc] [size=1]Evie's back! Yay! *hugs ya* Two of my guyfriends are kind of like that... One of them always hugs me everday, and hugs me from behind everyday. My other guyfriend has hugged me in the pool before. I think he was trying to dunk me, but he hugs me often too. o.o; I don't think you should just tell him straight out, or ask him like, 'Do you like me?'. It might just be his way of being friendly... Although, if you're really worried, get a friend or cousin to ask him for you. ^_^ *hides from Celia*[/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 I wouldn't get a friend to ask. You have to deal with stuff on your own, and this is no exception. I hug people I'm friends with, but then again it's usually very clear that there are no other feelings involved. I'd say what some others said, and tell him it makes you uncomfortable and that he should stop it (and possibly see what other motives he has, if you even care - I wouldn't bother with that personally). I'd hope he'd realize at that point, but you never know. Many, many guys are very, very stupid heh. I must admit, if I were you... He'd probably start creeping me out after awhile heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnum Apex Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mist [/i] [B][color=crimson][size=1] I must go against this tide advice, actually. I tried the exact same thing with a guy friend of mine, and I guess he was either angry or devastated, because he never spoke to me again. He's going to hug you; it's natural. BUt talking to him bluntly might hurt him. Avoiding him isn't going to help either; he'll only find you. Hmmm...maybe you should have a friend mention that he's been trying to get rather close to you lately, and have her say, in an advising tone, that you're not really like that. (Like that's not the right approach.) The second time this situation happened to me, I did that, and they guy totally backed off. I don't know if it'll work with you, but I say it's worth a try.[/color][/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [font=trebuchet ms][color=darkblue]Heh, read my post. There is the high likelihood that those two won't be friends again, but it depends on the people involved. If he were truly her friend, he'd understand. If he never spoke to her again, then he obviously wanted something more that she could not give him. If you want to be friends with someone, you kinda have to be on the same page about what kind of friendship you're involved in. If she were to tell a friend to tell him, he'd get angry because she wasn't brave enough or didn't have trust in him to tell him face to face.[/color][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 [color=darkblue]hate to say it, babe, but it sounds like the friendship might be unsalvagable. he's probably sensed you two growing apart and [i]does[/i] have feelings for you... so he's getting more clingy. just let him down as easy as you can. but don't expect him not to avoid you after that. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Kenji [/i] [B]Tell him, he'll get over it. Its really that simple. [/B][/QUOTE] To some doing this Kenji is easy but for most... its kind of difficult not always is just telling him...easy but... you should tell... like a few say tell him before he gets to far dragged in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liamc2 Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 Well seeing as everyone else has such god an inspirational, rational advice, time for my comic relief...if that's what you can call it... *puts on the jesters hat* Find the biggest, most wet, smelly, dead, rubbery rubber haddock and smack him uppa-his-face next time he does it. That should hopefully get the point across... If it doesn't, hey, you managed to put my IM dream into practice o.O;; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted January 31, 2003 Share Posted January 31, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by liamc2[/i] [B]*puts on the jesters hat* Find the biggest, most wet, smelly, dead, rubbery rubber haddock and smack him uppa-his-face next time he does it.[/B][/QUOTE][color=indigo][size=1]Heh, I pretty much already said that. Just without the silly words and the hat... but the hat makes yours better than mine... >>[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Asuka Posted January 31, 2003 Author Share Posted January 31, 2003 [color=hotpink][size=1]Thanks for all the advice you guys. But it's not just hugging. It advanced a bit more today. He keeps asking me to call him. He said he's been trying to call me but the line is busy. I'm thinking to myself "thank goodness..." but yeah. Now that I think about it, I wonder if he even knows I have a boyfriend? Maybe if he found out, he'd back off? I have a good girl friend who is closer friends with him than I. Maybe I could get her to drop a hint about Ryan sometime?[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amibasuki Posted February 1, 2003 Share Posted February 1, 2003 [FONT=arial]well, I was going to suggest if you didn't want to put it bluntly, whenever he came close to you like that again, you could say somethin' like "you're in my space, dude" kinda jokin' around-like. I had to do that before, and the guy took the hint to quit, but his feelings didn't get hurt all the same. but since he's calling you, I would casually bring Ryan into a conversation the next time you two talk. like if he asks how your weekend went, you could say "Oh, me and my [i]boyfriend Ryan[/i] went to go do this and this," and he might get the hint then. hope this helps![/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted February 1, 2003 Share Posted February 1, 2003 MIST IS BAAACCCCKKKK!!!!! WHEEEE!!! Anyway, I say get it through a frind.. Then you don't have to confront him personally, and maybe watch him get his feelings hurt, if that's the case.. It might be kind of embarrasing if doesn't like you though, that'd be weird, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted February 1, 2003 Share Posted February 1, 2003 Indeed asuka, the boyfriend sure does come in handy at times like this. Just try and avoid the two meeting in a face to face all alone scenerio. That could be ugly. Also, the friend dropping a hint... thats a good idea. but instead of lightly dropping a hint, make her do it more like its an anvil. Good luck again, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Asuka Posted February 1, 2003 Author Share Posted February 1, 2003 [color=hotpink][size=1]Thanks you guys for all the suggestions. It was really helpful to hear different points of view. ^_^[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treton_noir Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 [QUOTE]Just try and avoid the two meeting in a face to face all alone scenerio. That could be ugly. [/QUOTE] youre d*mn straight it would be. i dont know why i never looked at this thread before... or why i wasnt told about this...,*ahem*, Tori... id really like to find out who this is, how long, when where, why i wasnt informed, etc. (it probably doesnt help that i watched Pulp Fiction twice and didnt go to sleep last night.) to paraphrase Marcellus Wallace(Pulp Fiction)... "What now? Well let me tell you what now. I'm gonna call a couple pipe-hittin' brothers, who'll go to work on homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 [color=0099FF] [size=1]I think you might as well get over it. Just get it straight and tell him that it's just a simple relationship. Or if you want to make sure, ask a friend to find out what he thinks about you. If he really likes you, then tell him that you don't feel the same way he does. *Digs Juu out from Marshmellow Factory* [/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now