Writing Oooooooh story....Gabriel

[Rhys Mayiessen]

[color=navy]Uhhh...yeah I know I'm not that good at writing but I decided to put the first part of a shorter story I wrote a while ago called Gabriel. Of course its fantasy. Tell me what you think. There might be some spelling mistakes....I'm sure you'll recognize the name of Rhys.^^

Liam woke up and looked out the window. Gabriel had already awoken and stood outside admiring the gardens. Liam smiled at his brother?s innocence. He was only ten, which is very young for and elf, and already things of nature?s utmost beauty.
Gabriel?s almond brown skin glistened in the early morning sunlight. His straw blond hair was matted against his head, which made his pointed ears look abnormally large. He must?ve swam in the lake again. Liam thought smiling again.
He walked down the steps and strolled out the doorway. ?Gabriel! Don?t you think it?s a beautiful day??
?Yeeeeeeeessssssss,? Gabriel slurred. His speech had never been perfect since he never spoke much. ?Yeeeeeeeessssssss?.Lliiaamm.? He smiled brightly.
Liam laughed heartily. Though simple minded, Gabriel always wanted to see people smile. It seemed that his only purpose on the world was to make people happy.
?Rrrhhyysss,? Gabriel said pointing beyond the garden. A young maiden elf was standing there smiling warmly. Liam scowled. She was the princess of the Latine (land) elves and was like any other Latine elf except that she wasn?t full Latine. She was half Eaul (water) elf and had some of the characteristics of Eaul elves like her blue-black hair. All Latine elves had brown or blond hair. No one liked her because she was different. They called her the halfling and Liam didn?t necessarily go out of his way to stop them. The only one who didn?t scowl every time Rhys passed was Gabriel.
?Hi Gabe! How are you today? Admiring the flowers are we?? Rhys asked glancing briefly at Liam. His scowl deepened.
Gabriel nodded. He followed her gaze and when he saw Liam?s scowl tears formed in his almond shaped, forest green eyes. ?Lliiaamm?? He asked through his tears.
?Oh don?t cry Gabe. Don?t worry. Look, look see I?m happy now,? Liam said putting on the biggest smile he could muster. ?Please don?t cry.?
Gabriel?s face lightened when Liam smiled. He turned to face Rhys who was still smiling warmly. ?Don?t worry Gabriel everything is fine,? Rhys said her gaze flickering back to Liam.
Gabriel smiled cheerily then walked back into the sunlit home.
?Why do you hate me so Liam?? Rhys asked her startling blue eyes filling up with tears. Another attribute from her Eaul side.
?I?I don?t know. Maybe its because you?re hanging around with my brother so much,? Liam lied. ?You?re the Princess!? Rhys winced at the exclamation. ?How do I know if you?re making fun of my brother our not??
?Because I would never do that Liam. Your brother is so sweet and he only wants to see people smile. He wouldn?t hurt a fly.?
?Don?t you think I know that? I know that he wouldn?t hurt a fly but I don?t know if you would hurt him!? Liam yelled back, turning around and stomping back into his house. Rhys just stood there staring at the beautifully made marble house in silence.[/color]

[Dragon Warrior]

Heh. I like where this is going. Elf stories are always fun. Good work Rhys. (notices that you just had to make yourself the princess. heh)

Keep it up. Where's Gavin in this story? JK. ;)

[spike speigel]

Great story. If your not good at writing, then I'm the worst writer on the planet!

[Rhys Mayiessen]

[color=navy]Hehe actually I wrote this before I was here in otakuboards so you could say that I took the Princesses name...I don't really like the word princess though more like heir to the throne yes that's better.
If you want I could put up more of the story but I didn't know if anyone would like it.[/color]