Dragon Warrior Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 Goatman returns for his second season. Yays! Here's episode one to start her off. [SIZE=3]Goatman[/size] Episode 8 ?Got Milk?? Mother: Kids! Breakfast is ready! Girl: Oh boy! Boy: Yay! Mother: I made your favorite. Croissants. Oven: (bings) Mother: Oh! They?re done. (opens oven) Announcer: (pops out) Mother: AHH!! Announcer: Don?t you just hate croissants? Kids: It?s our fave- Announcer: Then do I have a treat for you! Introducing ?Crappy Crunchies?! The new cereal with a crunch of terrible taste! Have a bowl. (gives kids some) Boy: (eats) This taste like foil and mold. Girl: My tonsils hurt. Announcer: Haha. That?s right. (turns to audience) So go out and buy some Crappy Crunchies and follow your nose to my lucky charms. (teeth ping) Narrator: Hey there! Welcome to Goatman?s SECOND season. I know. It doesn?t seem like a second season, BUT IT IS! God, I have been working here long enough for a second season? No wonder my wife left me. ? ? Anyways, on today?s show, a new villain emerges. It all starts with this harmless milkman taking some milk up to a doorstep. Milkman: (is whistling) Dum dee dum dum dum? Narrator: I said WHISTLING! Milkman: Sorry. (whistles) Narrator: Better. Milkman: (gets up to doorstep and looks over his shoulders. Takes a bottle of milk and drinks some) Narrator: Oh my goodness! Not that! Don?t worry people. That?s not the villain. BUT HE IS1 Why am I shouting to day? Arch Nemesis: MUHAHAHAHAHA! My plan is working! I have now poisoned all water factories in this town with Evil X, my own special invention. General Wes: Umm? sir? Arch: What is it? General Wes: This is a milk factory. Arch: Hubbawa? General Wes: Milk. See? (points to Milk Factory sign) Arch: Whoops? this could lead to a terrible, terrible side effect because milk and my Evil X don?t mix well? ? Wanna go to subway? General Wes: Okay. I heard they have great new sauces. Narrator: And so they did. But what about the milkman? Milkman: (gets super powers from the mix of milk and Evil X) Narrator: Wow. That was kind of unexpected. But oh well. Milkman: Cool. I have evil super powers. Time to reign terror! (does so) Narrator: Oh crap! The Milkman wants to reign terror. Will he succeed? Where?s Goatman? What type of milk do you drink? I like 2%. Find out after this very short commercial break. [B]AND NOW? THE END OF THIS COMMERCIAL![/B] Narrator: We?re back! Last we left? oh what the hell. You just saw what happened. Cue Goatman! Goat: (watching TV in his apartment) Machine: (beeps) Goat: Oh my! My Evilness-Detecting machine is going off! Time to become? (changes in his dressing room) Woah! What was I thinking when I wore this? (continues to dress) Wow. The ladies will like this! (dresses more before jumping out) GOATMAN! Up, up, and through a closed window! [B]CRASH![/B] Narrator: We find milkman making every drink milk because his power is making people drink milk. Go figure. Man: Please stop! I don?t want anymore milk! I?ve had too much calcium! Milkman: MUHAHAHAHAHA! Goatman: Stop right there! Milkman: (turns around to Goatman) Huh? Who the hell are you? Goatman: You don?t know me? I?m insulted! Milkman: I?m sorry. Should I have known? Goatman: Well, duh! This show is called Goatman! And the narrator has mentioned me, like, 50 times just in this episode! Milkman: Can?t a guy make a mistake? Goatman: NO! (kicks Milkman who flies into Worrywort who falls into a manhole) Worrywort: I hate my liiiiiiiiiiiiife!!!!!! (crashes in the sewers) I hope there?s no crocodiles in here. Milkman: (rubs head) You?re gonna pay for that? with calcium! (blasts milk into Goatman?s open mouth) Goatman: Nobla neblo!!!! Milkman: HAHAHAHAHAHA! Narrator: Jinkies! How is Goatman going to get out of this one? Find out after this short TV show thingy majig. Announcer: And now it?s time for- [SIZE=3]Let?s Talk with Arch[/SIZE] Audience: (Applauds) Arch: ? and I have this lump, but the doctor says it?s temporary, but what does he kno-(sees show is on) HEY THERE, EVERYONE! (mumbles ?I?m gonna kill my producers??) It?s time for another Let?s Talk with Arch! Today we have Tim Tim Timmy Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim. Yeah! Tim Tim Timmy Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim: I hate my name. Arch: Sure you do. Now what do you like to do, Tim Tim Timmy Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim? Tim Tim Timmy Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim Tim: Well? (is dropped through the floor) Arch: GREAT! That?s all we have time for! Goodnight, New York! Man: This is Wisconsin. [SIZE=3]Let?s Talk with Arch[/SIZE] Audience: (applauds) Narrator: Okay. Back to the show, I guess. Goatman seems to be in trouble because Milkman is serving a double dose of calcium that Goatman just can?t take! Milkman: Haha! (points and laughs) Narrator: Right. Anyways, this is where we begin once more. Goatman: Noo!! (manages a psyb and blasts his enemy) There. Milkman: I?m angry now. Goatman: Just try that disgusting milk on me again. Milkman: Oh, I have a far better power than that. (suddenly morphs into a cow) Man: Holy crap! He?s a transformer. Everyone: (looks at man) Man: What? He is! Milkman: Now, this will be the most utterly ridiculous ending ever! (fires milk from his Utter Cannons) Goatman: ACK! (is shot clear across the street and at a Subway resturant) Arch: I like turkey, ya know General Wes? General Wes: I prefer ham, sir. Arch: Don?t make me liquidate you? Goatman: (crashes through the window and onto Arch?s table) Arch: What in the name of Wes?s Grandma?s sideburns is that!? General Wes: It?s Goatman, sir. And my Grandma doesn?t have sideburns. She grew a full beard now. Arch: That?s sick. Goatman: (gets up) Ow? Arch: Haha! Now we have you, Goatman! (is blasted clear across the world by Milkman?s Utter Cannons) General Wes: (skips off) Narrator: Umm? right. Back to Goatman and Milkman?s showdown. Milkman: (aims) This is it, Goatman. Your demise is now. Goatman: Never! (tries to run, but slips on Arch?s turkey sub and squirts new tangy sauce onto Milkman) Milkman: NOOO!!! My weakness is tangy subway sauce! Man: Go figure! Figure: Thanks! Narrator: This is causing serious psychological harm to me? Goatman: So that?s your weakness! (fires more sauce onto Milkman) Milkman: NOOO!! PLEASE! Goatman: (defeats Milkman finally with the sauce) BwaHA! Milkman: Geez, Goatman. Don?t have a cow? (collapses and becomes human again) Narrator: Later, after Goatman gives Milkman over to the police, he picks up all the milk that was from that factory and threw it into a cortex to another world [reasons unknown]. Goatman: I?m just that good. Narrator: And back at the Town Town Prison? Milkman: I?ll get you Goatman! If it?s the last thing I do! I will get out of here! (shakes door and it opens) Oops. My bad. I?ll get it. (closes it then laughs evilly) Narrator: Umm? right. And so, Goatman saved the day? as usual. Not bad for the first episode of the second season, aye? Man: Actually, it was bad. Narrator: Yeah. I guess. Go figure. Figure: Thanks! Narrator: I need mental help? [B]THE END[/B] This episode was brought to you by Crappy Crunchies! Coming soon, Foot Scum-flavored! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Webb Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 :laugh: That was crazy; funny-crazy! I never read the first season, but this episode reminds me of a combination of 1960s Batman and Sheep in the Big City. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deedlit Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 [color=009966]lol It's just as good as season one! :D:haha: Bring on the episodes!! :excited:[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted February 3, 2003 Author Share Posted February 3, 2003 Right. Episode two coming rigtht up when I get home. Booyah. And Endymion, just look up Goatman in the OB search and you can find the old thread. That is, if u wanna read the 7 episodes that consist of Season 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted February 3, 2003 Author Share Posted February 3, 2003 Here's epi 9 like I said. [size=3][b]Goatman[/b][/size] Episode 9 ?What a Mes!? Announcer: Do you eat socks? Man: What? Announcer: And do you always choke on them? Woman: What is he talking about? Announcer: Need to get those extra strings off them before you gag on one? Kid: Mom, Dad, who is this guy and what?s he doing in our house? Announcer: Then there?s only one thing you?ll need. Dad: Right. The cops. (reaches for phone, but the phone is smashed by a giant machine) Hey! Announcer: Introducing the ?NON-CHOKANIZER?!! Woman: The what? Announcer: With this AMAZING product, you won?t choke on socks nor strings EVER again. Kid: Cool. Man/Woman: (glares at kid) Kid: (gulps) Announcer: So buy it today! Cop siren: RIIIIIIIIIINGG!!! Announcer: Gotta go! (leaps in a hamper) Monster: Jawonkie gooba? Narrator: hey! That?s my line! Jawonkie gooba-I mean, good day to all of you. It?s a new show today! With a new surprise. Audience: Ooo.. Narrator: Thank you. We start our episode where Arch Nemesis has Goatman captured and floating over a boiling vat of acid. Arch Nemesis: Actually? there?s something? about that acid? Narrator: Yeah? Arch: Umm? we don?t have it. Narrator: What?? Where did it go? Arch: Charlie ate it! Narrator: Charlie? Arch: (points to Charlie) Charlie: My stomach! I see a bright light! Narrator: (slaps forehead) Arch: But have no fear! I have filled the vat full of something evil! Narrator: And that would be? Arch: COTTAGE CHEESE! Audience: Oh my! Arch: Muhahahahaha! Goatman: (taps Arch on the shoulder) Arch: What? (sees Goatman) WHAT! How did you escape? Goatman: Well, I wasn?t exactly tied up and your guards were easy to overthrow. Arch: Awww man? Goatman: (punches Arch down and runs out of the evil lair) Arch: Doodies! (goes unconscious) Narrator: It took a few hours for Arch to recover that single hoof punch, but he did. And boy, when he did, he had a plan on how to make a cloning machine so evil that it?s evil. Man: But how did he think up an idea while uncon- Narrator: Shut up and watch! Arch: Here it is, General Wes! The cloning machine of EVIL!!! General Wes: Cool, sir. Arch: Word. Now we must try it. I just have to add a certain amount of Evil X to it and we?ll be done. How much was it again? A teaspoon or a cup? General Wes: Maybe you should look at the manual. Arch: For crying out loud to the high heavens, General Wes! What is up with you and taking the easiest ways out? I?ll just guess and put in a cup. (dumps in a cup of Evil X) [b]Poof![/b] Narrator: What has happened? Is it bad or good? Monster: Bewqo kolala? Narrator: Right. Find out after this commercial break! Monster: Heeha! Man: I eat paste. Audience: ? Man: ? Audience: ? Man: ? Man in Audience: (coughs) Narrator: What the heck was that? Monster: Hugotha requim sosodoctu. Narrator: That?s what I thought. Anyways, there was just a [b]POOF![/b] before we left to that? what ever it was. Monster: Hugotha requim sosodoctu. Narrator: Yeah. That?s what it was. Now we see what happens to Arch and General Wes, shall we? Arch: (coughs) General Wes? Major Pain-in-the-***? Mommy? General Wes: I?m right here, sir. Voice like General Wes?: I?m right here. Arch: Eh? What are you, redundant? Voice like Arch?s: Shut up! Arch: What the? (smoke clears revealing a Arch dressed in black and one dressed in white and the same for General Wes) General Wes: Holy heart-failure! Arch: Which one of you is the real General Wes? General Wes: I am. Other General Wes: Yeah. My name is General Mes. I?m the good side to General Wes and he?s the dark side. Arch: Eh? Then that must mean? Other Arch: Yep. I?m Nark Cremesis. Your good side, Arch. Narrator: Woah! Talk about weird! Arch: I?ll say. Narrator: Now what? General Wes: Wanna help do crime, Mes and Nark? Nark: Didn?t you hear us straight? Mes: Yeah! We?re good guys, dur! Arch: Then I?ll have to just de-(gets knocked out with a squeaky hammer) Nark: C?mon, Mes! We must go help Goatman! Mes: Right! (and so they were off) Arch: No! General Wes: Weren?t you knocked out, sir? Arch: The keyword is ?out?. General Wes: You mean the keyword is ?were?. Arch: Sure. Whatever. But I have a backup plan. I now release my newest creation! Wes: I thought that the cloning machine was the newest creation. Arch: Erm? no. Now my newest creation is? MR. HURT! (suddenly a giant robot barges through the wall and steps on Arch?s foot) Arch: Son of a! Bad Mr. Hurt! Mr. Hurt: Destroy! Arch: (gets vaporized) Fine? just? go destroy? Goatman? Narrator: Uh oh! Looks like Arch and Wes are getting revenge with Mr. Hurt! What will Goatman and his new friends do? Will they party? Or fight? Find out after this short thingy. Announcer: Welcome to Bill?s Quote of the Day! Heeeeeeeeeeere?s Bill! Bill: Right. This one is by Batman. ?Joker, you-? Announcer: Who cares! Back to the show! Monster: Bewong goo holla susingin quitoc ewishers. Goatman: So, you?re Mes and Nark, eh? (wall is stormed down) Arch: (walks in) Now I?ve got you, Goatman! Get him, Mr. Hurt! Mr. Hurt: (walks in and steps on Arch?s foot) GOD DARNIT! Stupid robot! (is vaporized, but fights Mr. Hurt. The two of them fall off a cliff [reason unknown]) Everyone: ?? General Wes: (turns to everyone and sighs) I guess it?s up to me. (becomes a ninja) Goatman: Get ready, guys! Nark: Goatman? Mes: ? we were born ready? Nark: Which was only two hours ago. Mes. Right. Narrator: They all suddenly get into a huge fight! There?s kicking, punching, scratching and yes, even eating, but I gotta tell ya, it?s wild! Goatman: Now, it?s time to finish you, Wes! Wes: Who? Did you say Mes or Wes? Goatman: Umm? I forgot? hold on? (thinks, but it gives Wes Ninja a chance to kick him where it counts) Wes: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mes/Nark: Holy shnikies! Nark: C?mon, Mes! We gotta take care of this joker! Narrator: And so they did. Man: How did they win, though? Narrator: Huh? Man: How did they win the match? Narrator: No. There?s no catch. Man: What? That?s not- Narrator: And so, General Wes was defeated at the hands of Mes and Nark Cremesis. Monster: Tooflay. Narrator: Yes. Arch: (climbs back into apartment all beaten up) Wait. I shall have my revenge. I still have this cloning machine. Wes: (looks up) Wait sir! NOO! Arch: (fires the cloning machine, but Goatman reflects it with a mirror and it hits Wes and Arch causing Mes and Nark to rejoin) Ouch? Goatman: Wow. That was convient. Wes: When are you going to learn that many things are convient? Goatman: I don?t know? NOW DIE1 (blasts Wes and Arch back to their lair with one large psyb) Narrator: And so, Goatman, with the help of Mes and Nark, saved the day. Actually, he just saved his ***, but good enough. [b]THE END[/b] This was brought to you by this monster. Monster: I actually speak English, but I had a cold. Right. 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Deedlit Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 [color=009966]LOL I really liked the last part! ^_____^[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted February 3, 2003 Author Share Posted February 3, 2003 Ah yes. That monster is so fateful. You gotta love 'im. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manic Webb Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 I was a little confused at the part where they fell off the cliff (had to read it twice), but ;) funny stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted February 4, 2003 Author Share Posted February 4, 2003 Haha. Yeah. That's why after I said they fell off a cliff it said right after "[reason unknown]". Silly Endymion. There's no cliffs in apartments ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Pancakes Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 Good GODS that was funny! AHAHAHAHA! Ahem. I'll have to look up the first season... ~*And Eli's eyes could not see and Behold! nor could he.*~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon Warrior Posted February 5, 2003 Author Share Posted February 5, 2003 Heh. Thanks, Evil Pancake. But who the hey is Eli? Heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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