Talon Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 [color=teal]You work, you sleep. You eat, you drink. I work, I sleep. I work, I drink. But nobody gives a damn. Everyday life, repetitive, renouncing. Everyday strife, heartless, unmoving. I work everyday to make my ow ends meet, In a world where they beat you down like an intense heat. But nobody gives a damn. Well, it's my turn. No more sweat, no more blood, no more tears. If nobody cares, why should I? If I don't care, nobody can stab me in the back. But you know what? That's life![/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Harlequin Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 [font=gothic][color=crimson]I relate to that nicely. I understand it, thus I like it. A lot. Great work. I absolutely love it. You da man Etarah.[/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted February 3, 2003 Author Share Posted February 3, 2003 [color=teal]Did....did he...did he just say "You da man"?!?!?!?!?!?!?! *rereads, then faints*[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 [color=red] It was so-so, but really rather short, and not deep enough for my liking. 4.3/10[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathKnight Posted February 3, 2003 Share Posted February 3, 2003 [color=crimson]I've read too many poems like that. It really is starting to wear on my nerves.. 5/10[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talon Posted February 5, 2003 Author Share Posted February 5, 2003 [color=teal]And guess what. I don't care! too many goddamn times have I stuck my *** into a bad situation, only to get either the crap beaten out of me, or the piss out of me. Then, when I turn to writing down my feelings, the very things that create ALL of my goddamn poems, I get criticized. Well, it's a double-edged sword, i guess. Thanks for the...er....CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 I think its very good The emotions are getting just overflooding in it herher. AW: Its really good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted February 6, 2003 Share Posted February 6, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Etarah's Maverick [/i] [B][color=teal]And guess what. I don't care! too many goddamn times have I stuck my *** into a bad situation, only to get either the crap beaten out of me, or the piss out of me. Then, when I turn to writing down my feelings, the very things that create ALL of my goddamn poems, I get criticized. Well, it's a double-edged sword, i guess. Thanks for the...er....CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM.[/color] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=red] You made a bad poem. So what? So have I... At least I'm truthful, and I gave reasons. I could've said nothing, and just said it was horrible. As I said, it is short, and you could've gone deeper, used some symbols to portray what you were trying to say, gone deeper into it, and made more descriptive words... Bleh. And you are welcome for the [i]constructive crit[/i], man. :p[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now