Queen Asuka Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 [color=hotpink][size=1]Well, I don't think it's right for a 19 year old guy to date a 14 year old girl. That was the case of one of my older sisters and she ended up losing her virginity to him when otherwise I don't think she would have. She's 18 now and has a year old baby. My other sister, the oldest, is 19. Her fiance is 27. Can we say "EW???"[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 [color=darkblue]first of all, if they're breaking the law (a minor & an adult in a sexual relationship, etc.), that's a bad idea. but as others have said, once you've reached a "mature" age (around 21), it doesn't matter [i]all that much[/i], keeping in mind that some people mature faster than others. it completely depends on the mindset of the people involved. also, the feelings must be genuine. for example, if a middle aged man marries a young woman to have a "trophy wife" & she marries him for his money, that's just sick. sex is also an issue. i've had male friends date much older women b/c both parties are at their sexual "peak" (males--early 20's, females--early to mid 40's). this is somewhat controversial. however, it has its benefits, heheh. the oldest guy i've dated was 35. this was about 2 years ago. i didn't really see his age per se... we liked to have fun in the same ways & had a lot in common. he also cracked me up w/ stories of his life experiences--there were a ton. i feel like i learned a lot from him. we both knew we were just having fun & that it wasn't serious. it didn't feel weird to me. at first my friends were skeptical, but after they hung out w/ him they thought he was really cool. you're only as young/old as you feel. maybe you want someone more mature than the people your age. maybe you want someone less mature. i don't think it's really a cut-&-dry issue. all these factors have to be considered.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorykoAngelcry Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 [COLOR=darkred][SIZE=1]I suppose I am in unison with most people on this topic. If you are legally allowed to be in a sexual relationship . . . who is anyone else to stop them? If there is love (or even a spark), they should be allowed to. Maturity is the biggest thing to look out for though, as many of my friends have dated younger women, only to be burned by them because they were not ready to be commited. I won't really go any further besides what I just said, since I have not really been in many relationships, and can't really say anything besides my own feelings. [/SIZE][/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outlaw Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 From my own experiances, I would advise all of you to stay away from relationships with people who are too young to fully understand the concept of love. You see, my sister thought she was in love with a guy who was a complete doche bag. She couldn't see that he was bringing her in a downward spiral. He had run away from home because he was grounded by his parents for flunking history and math, had a go nowhere job, and was a complete *** anywhere but with her. However, when he hung out with her, he made her feel like they where ment to be together. Ofcource than he cheats on her, she cheats on him, tears are shead, things are broken, and you end up going to therapy for two years. So take it from me, if your going to date, and date seriously, wait untill you are emotionally mature enough first because if your not, your pain and the pain of all those around you (beleive me, when your in a bad mood, ya tend to bring everyone down with you) is gonna be life changing, and not for the better. She still isn't completely over this guy. I know that allot of you will say that I have no right to criticize, and that it wasn't me that lived it, but it might as well have been. I heard every fight, every make-up, and every break up. nd because I'm the older brother with the car, I was the shauffer when the date started, and the counseler when the date ended, cause they almost always ended in tears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hinata Posted February 4, 2003 Share Posted February 4, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by GinnyLyn [/i] [B][color=royal blue]For myself, I try not to be with anyone that is 5 years max, either way. Too young makes me feel antiquated, too old makes me feel like an immature baby. My parents have a 20 year age difference between them and it works. Go figure. One of my managers is about to marry his girlfriend, who is 16 years his senior. Another one has a girlfriend who is just about to turn of age--and he's 8 years older than her (ok, that one bothers me a little, and him being a GM and all...*shudders*). [/color] [/B][/QUOTE] WHOO-HOO. You know we have the same thoughts on that, but I'm 20 now and I still won't date anyone 25 or over. I just depends on what the person is comfortable with. You know we may not like it or others may think it's wrong to date someone over a certain age, but we should accept a GROWN...and I emphasize grown persons right to date anyone...AND WHEN I SAY THIS....[U]Both of the persons must be over 18.....[/U] In the words of Aaliyah... "Age ain't nothin but a number." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 [color=0099FF] [size=1]On one hand, I think it matters because you wouldn't want to marry a guy who's twenty years older than you and when he/she dies, you would be still be so much younger. But on another hand, I think it doesn't matter because as long as you really feel strong about another person. It's really hard for me to decide. But I am leaning more to "It does Matter" [/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 My gran and pop have an age difference between them of 13 years. They still get along fine, and have been married for more then 50 years. I see no problem with big age differences, as long as the two are commited to each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 I agree with what is being said somewhat. Once people reach a mature age, their partners can be significantly older or younger, it shouldn't make a difference--[i]to them[/i]. Buuuut, what about the impact it makes on others? Like, what if I marry a fifty year old woman who has children that are older than I am? Of course, it could possibly make things difficult for them and stir trouble. In the end, it would be an uncomfortable situation for everyone involved. I believe that one's children should come first (even if they are grown) and that parents should think of their uneasiness with that kind of situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartless Me Posted February 5, 2003 Author Share Posted February 5, 2003 Wow! I'm really glad I brought up such a popular topic. I'm happy that I got so many different opinions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCBaggee Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 [color=red]Well, I'm a senior in High School and I always see other seniors dating freshmen. Something about that has always gotten to me about that, because of the age/maturity difference. Now, in about four years when the freshmen are seniors and the seniors are almost done with college, it won't bother me that much. It always does seem like people are going for younger/older people these days. Eventually, you'll see 18 years olds dating 12 year olds, which I must say is really an "ugh" situation. But, once you get to where the youngest one in the relationship is 18+, age ain't nothing but a number... --Chris[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyGirl Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 [color=deeppink]I think that if you put the law aside, then it all has to do with personal preference. I dated an 18 year old when I was 15, and now I'm 18 dating a soon-to-be 21 year old. I have never dated a younger guy (and I don't think I ever will), but the thought of dating someone older than 25 kind of weirds me out. I'd much rather stay within my age range, and preferably on the older side of the scale.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted February 5, 2003 Share Posted February 5, 2003 [color=darkblue]two scenarios: 1) a good friend of mine had a serious boyfriend/fiance when she was 19, & he was 22. after an abortion & another pregnancy (where he pressured her to get another abortion) we found out that he had been secretly married & had a 3 year old daughter the whole time. this was right after he offered me $2000 to strip for him when he had told her he was broke & had to pay the for the $700 abortion herself. after she dumped him, he disappeared & hasn't--in 4 years--paid a dime of child support. she's now 23 & her husband is 38. he treats her like gold, has a steady job as an eye-doctor, owns his own house, would never lie to her, is very responsible, & has adopted her daughter as his own. i think one reason she loves him so much is b/c he is the exact opposite of that other jerk. he was a very positive influence on her & now she has a great job herself w/ full benefits. in this case, an older, mature man was exactly what she needed. 2) another friend of mine, who is not so well-behaved, is 25 years old. he's one of those types who always has to be in love. he falls for every girl he has a crush on. he started liking this girl who was 15 (this shows how desperate he was getting). he ended up getting her drunk & giving her a bunch of morphine one night (he's a major drug addict & she was pretty wild herself, so he didn't see anything wrong w/ it). they ended up sleeping together. he tried to start up a serious relationship w/ her (sexual), but she thought he was nuts. her family (there are 8 of them in the immediate family alone) would've killed him. she also really regretted doing it. he then proceeded to badmouth her all over the county, calling her a slut & a player & what-have-you. now that's the kind of situation where a young person was taken advantage of & the older one acted like a complete perv. i'm still pretty pissed at him. so like i said, it depends on the circumstances.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bremma Posted February 7, 2003 Share Posted February 7, 2003 I Agree with most people here, under 18, stay close in year.. I personally wont go over 2-3 years spread right now, unless I really trusted the person. But when you get older, its OK to widen the spread due to (hopefully) more equal maturities. One relationship that I call extreme is my 19 year old male friend dating a 14 year old.. but he claims he loves her. I don't like the sound of it, but I trust him to be good to her at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabmow Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 There is less age difference between 19 and 30 than there is between 14 and 19. Legalities aside( I don't need to remind you 16 will get you 20). It is more important that both people understand the nature of the relationship and that they can tolerate each others differences and well as enjoy their common interest. Relationships are about getting along and ggrowing together. A 14 year old has too much independent growing to do to worry about adult hangups and problems. They are also developing their own personality and will probably be different when they reach adult hood. From the other point of view I don't see what an adult would see in a young kid. By the time some one has reached adult hood 18-19-20 most of their personality is set and they have a handel on their path. No relationship no matter what age shold be jumped into. Above all the partners should be able to talk about anything and trust each other to have the others interest at heart. THis goes true no matter what the ages of either partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 i have a usual opinion about this. A girl at school ... shes ONLY 14 FOR CRYING OUT LOUD and shes going out with a 20 year old... *shakes head* there is a little problem with that i feel. I mean come ON. she still thinks about pokemon and such. And hes like.. thinking about a job... car payments apartment rent. budjets and family matters. UGH But if a 17 year old fell in love with like a 21 year old i would say "have at it" My 14 year old classmate does not even know what the word LOVE MEANS. jsut last week she was going out with a 13 year old. She wrote his name on her hand. "I love *guys name here*" Yet just yesterday she broke up with him... to go out with this 20 year old guy and she did the same thing. "i love *new guys name*".... just a bit.... childish.. But like lalaith said... when has love made sense. I know my class mate has no idea what it IS yet. But to others... some do. Some people mature faster then others. My teacher points out to me that i am much more mature then any kid she knows. Even her own kids. BUt then i can never accept that or beleive it so i go "no they all were just immature". Hmmm oh well. The heart choses to love when it is ready.. Not when person reaches a certin age. [i] Think of a birthday party.. a 19 year old is just turning 20. The moment the clock hits the mark he hits a change. And he goes "Ohhhhhh whats this new feeling Ah yes now i remember i was schedualed to fall in love on my 2oth birthday... hehe"[/i] Thats like...not possible. THe heart works when ITS ready... not the age Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChibiV Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 One of my brother friend, he's over 50 and his wife is only 26. They get along very well, and he loved his wife very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCBaggee Posted March 4, 2003 Share Posted March 4, 2003 [color=red][size=1][font=arial]I don't know about other states, but Georgia really doesn't care what you do as long as both involved are over 16 years old. Personally, I think acceptable age doesn't occur until the youngest one is at least 17/18, but that's just me. --Chris[/color][/size][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted March 10, 2003 Share Posted March 10, 2003 Hmm.. Love is love, as long as it's not one sided, I think it's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted March 11, 2003 Share Posted March 11, 2003 [color=darkred][size=1]Personally, I think that differences - I don't care how large - are fine. Although, obviously, I think that the younger partner needs to be mature enough to accept the differences. Some people are pretty mature by the age of 17 [though not most], so they naturally hang around older people... At least, that's my take on it.[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragonstar Posted March 11, 2003 Share Posted March 11, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ZxFrOgGie13 [/i] [B][color=indigo][FONT=courier]What do you feel about people in a relationship with ages years apart from the other? Are you for/against it? Do you not care anyway? what do you think a maximum age difference would be? I'd really like your input.[/FONT] [/color] [font=arial][color=darkblue] in response to the questions above... i would say that age shouldn't be at the extremes. but like in high school and such, it should be within 1-2 years. like 16-18, 14-16, and of the sort. once you are older than 21, i think more than 5-6 years apart is still kinda wrong, but tolerable. i mean, that is a total personal opinion... cuz like i know some one who is 20 dating a guy who is like 15 years older than her... well yeah.. that's just SICK! but hey that's my opinion.[/font][/color] [/B][/QUOTE] :mad: Now I take offence at that... My parents have a ten year age gap, but then agian, they're not exactly young, It depends on how mature you are, and how old the youngest person is, like someone already said.. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Posted March 11, 2003 Share Posted March 11, 2003 [b][color=515050][size=1]As a teenager, I think the "acceptable" age limits are far more restricted. For example someone who is 17 going out with a 13 year old wouldn't necessarily seem right to most people. Although, a person who is 20 years old wouldn't have many people cargin if the aforementioned person dates, say, a 35 year old. For me, loving someone is a huge, huge difference to just liking someone.. and at that point age differences don't matter anymore.[/b][/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mei Posted March 11, 2003 Share Posted March 11, 2003 Err I think if you under 16 and your with someone who is over 18 its considered child molestation.Oo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Change Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 Only if they hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. Then is is called statutory rape, the coerscion of a minor for sexual acts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amibasuki Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 [FONT=arial]well, I really think it's up to the two people. if the age difference doesn't make them feel awkward and they both like each other, they should go for it. the guy I'm with right now is 18, which in the grand scheme of things isn't that much older than me anyway, and the age thing is not a problem. some situations that I wouldn't think were right would be if, say, a 20-year old was seeing a 10-year old. it would make me think that the older person was just taking advantage of the kid's naivety (which would be the case, most likely). but excluding circumstances like that, if you don't even think about or notice the age difference between the two of you, then it's fine; in my opinion, anyway. [/FONT] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
++alice++ Posted March 12, 2003 Share Posted March 12, 2003 I would say and acceotable age difference is one which you yourself are comfotable with. Porviding it's not too far apart, i.e 2o years to 10 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now