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Acceptable Age Differences


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I agree that it doesn't matter what your age is as long as you respect each other and care about eachother
But I wouldn't want to date someone more or less than 3 years between my age... just for personal choice
~nichi
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  • 2 weeks later...
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[color=green]Well, I am a Senior in High School and I am going out with a Freshman. We don't really care about what other people think about our age difference, we are in love and that is all that should matter.[/color]
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Gee, folks. I know in my state the "legal age of concent" is 16. that means there's no reason to, say, have a baby at 15, unless another youngster steps up and owns up to it. I think the law regards it this way, sexual acts by youngsters are almost impossible to catch. Think about that for a second....

Anyways, I can add a personal note. my girlfriend is 2222 years/months/weeks/days younger than me. She also got accepted in college at 16, moved out, and is less irresponsible than I am across every catagory (except dishes *GRR*) But yet, for doing those two months, weeks, and days, I was breaking the law.. a lot..

But was our relationship WRONG? no, just doing sexual acts were prohibited...


It's not to uncommon, at least in my class of 02, to find one of my classmates doing a day job, and dating a girl in high school. Think about it, a 18, 19, year old guy who just barely affords his apartment is infinitely more desirable than some guy who has spare cash, but absolutely no time to be with a girl due to his after school job.

I have to agree with an earlier reply saying that "maturity gaps" are much more disconcerning. And by that measure, I'm lucky she hasn't read this thread and dumped me.
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Guest Hikaru Ichijyo
Hmm well personally I don't think someone with the age difference of a 18 year old going out with anyone under 17 is acceptable mainly for the fact people are considered Jail bait if you know what I mean.

However if you are of legal age I see nothing wrong with people with the age range of 18-24 going out with each other. However even then maturity issues still arise. >.>
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[COLOR=blue]When it comes to teenagers, there shouldn't be that much of an age difference. There is alot of difference when it comes to maturity when people are younger.

But for those who have the experience and the maturity, what does age matter? There is 18 years difference between my parents and everyone was against their marriage saying that it would never last. They have prooved them all wrong and will me celibrating their 21st wedding aniversary this year.[/COLOR]
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[color=skyblue]Well, my parents are honestly 25 years apart. My mother is the younger one, and her entire family was against the marriage. But they truly loved each other, and went on with it anyway. They were married for over 20 years, and happily at that. Eventually, there were problems with the marriage (problems, may I add, that had NOTHING to do with their ages. My father is turning 68 in a few days, and he has the physical health of a well-fit 40 year old. He still works at a very well paying job, and he doesn't look a day over 50.), and they divorced. But they're still the very best of friends, and they still love each other. But not the same sort of love they felt when they were married.

So personally, age, to me, is just a number. It depends entirely on a person's maturity level.[/color]
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  • 2 weeks later...
I know a 14 year old boy who's seeing a 20 year old girl(/lady)

I'm not going to say they don't get odd looks together.

I personally don't think that's acceptable, but they do, and I suppose it's their opinions that matter. They certainly seem happy enough. But the thing is, they haven't ever hopped on the good foot and done the bad thing. They probably wont.

On the other hand, i know a 17 year old, who has, with a 14 year old. The age difference is much less severe, but it is FAR more controversial. She was, and is consenting, and I'm not even sure it was her first time, but even so, she's 2 years below legal.
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  • 3 weeks later...
[color=purple][size=1]Age has no effect on matters of the heart.

Notice I said heart.. not genitals..

Age doesn't matter at all in a true relationship. Be the void between the two in love non-existant, or 30+ years, it doesn't matter. If two people are truly in love, then they have set aside age, realizing as a number, and not as a factor in their lives.

Besides, who is qualified to say what is or is not "acceptable"? Everyone is different, so the way they love will be different too.

One of my closest friends, Olivia, is a freshman in highschool. Her boyfriend Chris, is a freshman in college. The two have been together for around 7 months.

It all depends on the morals of the two people in the relationship. Olivia and Chris share the same morals, neither will do more than kiss until marriage. They are both going to wait.

Shane, is a junior in highschool. Melanie, his girlfriend, is in 8th grade. Same situation. Nothing more than kissing until marriage.

Then you have Adam and I. Adam and I have a one year difference between us. We have done everything but full on sex.

Morals and self-set standards..

Julia is a sophmore. Blaine is graduating in a few weeks. They have gone all the way. But.. They are also very much in love.

Love and self-set standards are the most important factors.. Your expression of love is what should matter, not your age. Olivia and Chris, very much in love.. waiting until marriage. Julia and Blaine, also very much in love.. waited until they were ready.

Granted, an age difference such as Shane and Melanie's makes the parents of the two a bit uneasy, but you should be able to trust your children.

Adam and I sleeping in the same bed makes our parents uneasy, but they trust us.

Love.. Self-set Standards.. and Trust.. ^_^

-feels very much like Queen Asuka-[/color][/size]
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Deus Ex Machina [/i]
[B]In my opinion it's an incremental thing..

I wouldn't agree with a 7 year age difference when the younger person is 13, actually I wouldn't even agree with a 4/5 year difference there, but if they were 20 or over I wouldn't see it as a problem.

My reason for that is that between the ages of 12-18 there's a huge difference in maturity between the two extremes. After that, there's not much of an increase in maturity.. you just kind of learn more.

So yeah. I'm more against huge differences in matturity, than huge age differences. [/B][/QUOTE]

see thats what i dont get, if they are 20 or over it isnt wrong but if the person is under 20 it is wrong. im for it except if they are like 2 or 3 and goin out wit a seventeen year old, now thats wrong. i know a 12 year old goin out wit my brother whos seventeen. in my opinion it isnt wrong. i only know bout this cuse i swore to secrecy agiant my mom. but still i believe they CAN be in love and they are
-mal
:flaming:
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I think age only matters mainly when your in your teens. I mean a 13 or 14 year old dating an 18 year old is a little unreasonable. Most of the time when someone is that old they would only get into a relationship like that to be in control. I think 2 years should be the limit for teen dating. Once you get past your teens it really doesnt matter, you should have better judgement by then, SHOULD, anyways, yeah thats my opinion.
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Guest Miyo
I think that the only time it seems wrong is under 20. What I mean is if the girl is 14 and the guy is 19, everyone is against it. But wait 4 more years then ask them again. They're all for it. It's something you can't...well I can't understand. I guess it's because they're worried about what the 'couple' will do. I don't blame them but they should at least trust them enough and know that they wouldn't do something like that. They also think that it's just a phase the girl is going through and later on, either the girl will find someone better or the guy will. Even the couple's parents think like this. They never take the kids (just not to use the word 'couple' again) seriously and think that they might really love each other.

I know cause I've been there....
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[color=#808080]I think the reason people object when it's "under 20" is because a) it's illegal and b) when you go through your teenage years, you develop very rapidly.

A 14 year old isn't nearly as emotionally developed as a 20 year old. So there is a lot of opportunity for one to take advantage of the other.

Doesn't mean it'll happen, but it's still a legitimate concern for people.[/color]
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I think it really counts on the peopel involved, alot of teenagers have to gow up fast for a variety of reasons, and tend to be more 'mature' while some adults still seem like they live back in their youth. SO really it jsut counts on how there personalitys mesh, and btw, its only illigal to have sex with them, not 'go out' with them.
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LOL i went out with a girl 4 years younger than me (she was georgous man and a model so im not turning that down) and another girl i guess the other way was 3 years older than me so i see no probably with it what-so-ever. I mean the first thing besides looks i look for is a persons personality and if it doesnt match mine then i dont think about trying to have a relationship with the person. Seriously though i feel it doesnt matter at all what age it is just as long as ur in love with the other person ur with and if its not a crazy age difference (like 6 and over). Besides that i think its fine i dont see why people go so oblivious over the matter.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Miyo [/i]
[B]I guess it's because they're worried about what the 'couple' will do. I don't blame them but they should at least trust them enough and know that they wouldn't do something like that.[/B][/QUOTE]

Miyo says it perfectly. These two sentences sum up what the answer to the question is. As long as both dont do something completely stupid then theres nothing wrong with it. And the whole thing that Miyo was saying before about waiting 4 years OMG i been trying that with the girl for a while now and its just to hard to do its been like 2 years and we both found someone else but i still want to have a relationship with her when she gets older. Oh well society just has to grow up and notice theres other things more important then interfering with peoples relationships.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by James [/i]
[B]A 14 year old isn't nearly as emotionally developed as a 20 year old. So there is a lot of opportunity for one to take advantage of the other.[/B][/QUOTE]

Not necessarily true. I do agree with u on [U]most[/U] 14 year olds are going to be less emotional than a 20 year old (lol i dont know why people have the ages 14 and 20 as the comparisons but alright) but there are always exceptions. The one girl that i went out with was 14 and i was around 17/18 and we went out for like 6 months, decided it was to far apart of age differences, and decided to instead possibly wait 4 years since she was feeling unsure about it and during that time see other people. She acted like an [U]adult[/U] that whole time so i mean there are some that are extremely mature at that age.

I wasn't exactly sure if you were talking about all girls that way but i just wanted to state that there are some that are really mature for there age around 14 and 15. K im done :p
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[quote][i]Originally posted by Miyo [/i]
[b]...I guess it's because they're worried about what the 'couple' will do. I don't blame them but they should at least trust them enough and know that they wouldn't do something like that....[/b][/quote]
[FONT=arial]but they [i]don't[/i] know that they wouldn't do something like that. kids go behind their parents' backs and do stuff they say they wouldn't do all the time. someone's word alone isn't worth as much anymore, unfortunately.[/font]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by pbfrontmanvdp [/i]
[B]...Oh well society just has to grow up and notice theres other things more important then interfering with peoples relationships....

...I do agree with u on most 14 year olds are going to be less emotional than a 20 year old (lol i dont know why people have the ages 14 and 20 as the comparisons but alright) but there are always exceptions. The one girl that i went out with was 14 and i was around 17/18 and we went out for like 6 months, decided it was to far apart of age differences, and decided to instead possibly wait 4 years since she was feeling unsure about it and during that time see other people. She acted like an adult that whole time so i mean there are some that are extremely mature at that age. [/b][/quote]
[FONT=arial]sometimes maturity isn't an issue either though. I know you said that your girlfriend was extremely mature for her age, so why was the age gap still enough of a problem for you two to quit seeing each other?

actually, society has a pretty good reason for being skeptical about older people dating younger people. like mentioned before, younger teenagers usually aren't going to be as emotionally mature as most older teenagers or young adults are (which is why the ages 14 and 20 are used, seeing as there's usually a very large gap in maturity between the two ages). like also said before, this could lead to the older person taking advantage of the younger one.

as an example, if a young teenager really isn't mature enough to handle a relationship with her 25 year old boyfriend, she'd probably feel more inferior to him, seeing as he's probably had a [i]lot[/i] more experience than she has, and so would go along with whatever he wanted because she's afraid he'll break up with her. seeing as how he's an adult, seems logical that he's probably going to want an adult-ish relationship, which might include having sex. now if he goes to her wanting sex, what do you think the odds of the eager-to-please girl saying no are?

I know not all age-gap relationships are like that (the pressure to have sex thing), and that there doesn't have to be that large of an age gap for one of the people involved to feel pressured to compromise him/herself anyway; but there's a bigger chance that something like that would happen between younger people with a large age difference than in a regular relationship, which is why people are usually against it. it's my guess that this is why there are statutory rape laws; because of emotionally immature teenagers who are pressured into having sex or have it because think they can handle it, when they really don't have a clue as to what they're getting into.

bah, sorry if a lotta this is garbled. too many thoughts rushing out at one time and trying to get all of it to make sense sucks. :cross:[/font]
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