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neoakira70
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hey people

i've recently hooked up with this i met of the net
(i don't want any one talking bout safety or anything like that)

...but she lives really far away...we really ike each other and get along great, when we met each other for the first time we clicked

we want it to work even though we get critized from everyone we know

do u think long distance relationships can work
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[color=red]I have found out lately that there are a whole lot of people around me that are involved in long distance relationships (i myself am in one, though not to this extent). People having relationships with other people that live half a world away is amazing. As for whether or not they work depends on the persons involved. If you really care about them and it's in your heart and soul, then it should work out fine.

--Chris[/color]
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I personally hate to say this sort of thing, but long distance relationships rarly work.

When your just being friends they can.

But romantically they never do because someone else will catch your eye before the next time your with your far away friend.

I only say that because of a story I was involved with that you might be able to find on the boards.

Its called "that closure I needed" and you can probably find it on the boards. Its only a week or 2 old, so if its not on the first page just look back a ways. Its started by myself, so if you look for the thread starter you would have a better chance of finding it.

good luck with your situation.
-kent
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Yeah i agree with Gokents as you could meet the person several times but then either you or the other person could fall in love with someone who is closer to you and you have more knowledge about them. Also the person could say they love you each time they see you but actually have a boyfriend or girlfriend where they live. I haven't been in a long term relationship as such but if you did see her as much as you could or something it may work out perhaps.
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This has been brought up at least 4 times since I came here... I'll just shorten what I usually say.

I've been in 2 long distance relationships. The first didn't really become much of anything. She lived up in Michigan, which is quite a while away. She actually lived here in Chicago for school, but at the time I was living by St. Louis (which is still far).

The second one was with a girl who lives in Ohio. The city is about a 9 hour drive from here. We loved eachother very much, but she is one of those types of people that needs someone close (she is also rather depressive), so it just couldn't last. We managed it for about 7 months.

Internet only relationships are a bizarre thing. I would never tie myself down to someone I know only online, as I find it pointless. That's not to say you can't have feelings for eachother, but very little will ever come of it if you cannot see eachother.

So basically... I don't like long distance relationships. I put a lot into the second one I mentioned, only to have it basically blow up in my face near the end. Would I do it again? I'd like to say no, but I guess it really depends on the girl involved.
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it's true that most of the time long distance relationships don't work, but tthat doesn't mean you shouldn't try it. I've had one mmy self, unseccesfully because we didn't really know each other and he lived in indiana. I'm in on, i think, right now. and it's going just fine, we talk, and help eachothe with problems and make each other happy when were down. And if it didn't work, you can still be good friends.
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[color=darkblue]One issue here is controlling the whole "lust" factor. People in internet relationships have the potential to get to know each other intimately, as long as the truth is being told. In a way, it's even less superficial because it's based more on intellect and personality than anything else.

But say you really start to fall for the person. Naturally at your age (16 or 17?) your going to want to look at her, kiss her, touch her... This will be very frustrating. The built up sexual tension will most likely give you the roving eye (hence the desire to cheat, etc.). The lack of the physical is the biggest hinderance to these things working out (feel free to disagree, people).

This is something that you both are going to have to decide to deal with, if it's worth it to you. My advice is, go ahead & "date" (for lack of a better term) over the net, but keep your options open. If you are meant to be, it will work out in the end.

Yeah, this post is all screwy, I'm a dead-tired zombie.[/color]
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[font=trebuchet ms][color=darkblue]You know, I love it how some people put tags on certain types of relationships. They state that online relationships work based on age, and that those involved are more prone to cheating on each other because of the distance that keep them apart.

I'm currently in a long-distance relationship, and I'm happy. Sure, most distance relationships don't work, but they're no better or worse than short-distance ones. Long-distance relationships are a true test of how much you truly love the person on the other line (or screen?) They are a true test because unless you're willing to wait for them, and choose not to cheat, they are devoting themselves to a person in ways that most people on short-distance relationships wouldn't. If it works out, it will turn out to be the surest thing those involved could've ever done.

If someone "cheats" on their long-distance partner, do you think they're worthy of trust in a short-distance relationship?

I think not.[/color][/font]
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I'm kinda with Cyke here.

Sure it may be harder but it can happen. Love is love. If you truly love the person then its gonna work out no matter what.

The thing is. Even in short distance relationships someone else could "Catch your eye." There is a thing called comitment in a relationship and thats what you gotta have. In a long or short distance relationship. You must have commitment and trust.

So if those two things are present its possible that it could work out.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Cyke [/i]
[B][font=trebuchet ms][color=darkblue]You know, I love it how some people put tags on certain types of relationships. They state that online relationships work based on age, and that those involved are more prone to cheating on each other because of the distance that keep them apart.[/color][/font] [/B][/QUOTE]

[COLOR=darkblue]I know you were responding to what others said as well, but I feel the need to clarify what I was talking about, since I was practically stupefied when I wrote that.

I wasn't saying that teenagers are too immature to maintain a long distance relationship. I was pointing out that, at this age, guys & girls are thinking more seriously about sex than ever before & it can be frustrating not being with the one you love.

Also, I'd hope that most people in this situation, if they think they can't handle seeing other people IRL & not being overwhelmingly tempted, will end the relationship before the actual cheating occurs.

Once the people are [i]mature[/i] enough (notice I didn't say "old enough"), I think it's possible for these things to work out. Age really isn't as much of an issue as it would seem. I have a friend who has had an online boyfriend of 2 or 3 years. They have never met in person, but are making plans for the future & are truly in love. I can tell these two are going to make it.[/COLOR]
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Lalaith Ril [/i]
[B]I'm kinda with Cyke here.

Sure it may be harder but it can happen. Love is love. If you truly love the person then it's gonna work out no matter what.

The thing is. Even in short distance relationships someone else could "Catch your eye." There is a thing called commitment in a relationship and that's what you gotta have. In a long or short distance relationship. You must have commitment and trust.

So if those two things are present its possible that it could work out. [/B][/QUOTE] [b][size=1]I'm with Cyke and Bryman

One of my elder cousins down in London is going to get married sometime in the next 6 months to someone he fell in love with online. They've been together for over a year; they've never met in real life; and she's never left America before.

o_o

[/b]So I think it can happen too. Even though that [i]was[/i] an example of grown-ups >.>[/size]
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[color=0099FF] [size=1]I agree... Long distance relationship hardly ever works.

It might not be the relationship between you guys, it's the distance between you two that's making it hard for you. And it's torturing you, making you to let go that reletionship.

It's tough, even though I have never been into one. But I know how it is for some reason...[/color] [/size]
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[color=royal blue]Since my question is similar to this one, I figured I'd toss this in here.

Why do people snub online relationships, not in the romantic sense, but just in the friend sense? Whenever I have a problem with on of my online friends and try to talk to a IRLer, they are glad to help--until they find out it's an "online friend".
Next thing I know, the IRLer is scoffing, and saying that online people don't matter much, if at all, so why worry about the problem? (My mom's a BIG scoffer.)

Opinions?[/color]
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[color=crimson]I dont think that people realize how deep an internet friendship can get, unless they've expierenced it. Some people still arent really into the whole "online messaging" thing, so they might scoff at the idea that over a computer a worthwhile friendship can be formed.[/color]
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[size=1]I agree with Ken: A lot of people just don't realize that, no matter what the medium, feelings and friendships are very real and very important. I've ben rather fortunate in that one of my closest friends IRL is also an internet person who's made some very good friends via message boards and chats.

I've solved the problem with other people, somewhat, by using the term "pen pal." If asked about it. Or simply saying, "you don't know her."

[i]I want advice on the situation. I'm not asking if you think the relationship is valid.[/i]

In the past two years, I've made more and closer friends online than I had in fifteen years of mucking about IRL. ;) [/size]
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