Sui Generis Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 Ok well this has been bugging me for a while so I'm going to ask your opinions on it. Ok well. My dad can watch EVERYTHING I do on the interenet. And I mean I don't have a problem with it to a certain extent. I mean if he goes to the sites to see if its porn or something I understand, but if its obvious that it deals with MY personal life do you think its right for him to READ whats in there? I mean an example would be my private messages. He reads my private messages. It annoys the heck out of me. Its my personal life, heck the name even says its PRIVATE so what gives him the right to dig through my life like that? Thats just an example. I know I'm a teenager and I probably will judge my parents harder than anyone else, so I wanted your opinions on this. Is it right for him to dig through my personal life as long as its on the internet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [size=1]Ouch. That would...well, that would be bad. Legally, you're a minor, blah blah blah. But, yeah. That's wrong. Do you feel comfortable confronting him about it? If you think there's a chance it would help, that would be the best way to go. If not, the only thing I can suggest is deleting your history and logging out of any sites that you frequent. [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Lalaith Ril [/i] [B]Ok well this has been bugging me for a while so I'm going to ask your opinions on it. Ok well. My dad can watch EVERYTHING I do on the interenet. And I mean I don't have a problem with it to a certain extent. I mean if he goes to the sites to see if its porn or something I understand, but if its obvious that it deals with MY personal life do you think its right for him to READ whats in there? I mean an example would be my private messages. He reads my private messages. It annoys the heck out of me. Its my personal life, heck the name even says its PRIVATE so what gives him the right to dig through my life like that? Thats just an example. I know I'm a teenager and I probably will judge my parents harder than anyone else, so I wanted your opinions on this. Is it right for him to dig through my personal life as long as its on the internet? [/B][/QUOTE] You're a kid using a computer he payed for or atleast the internet that he is paying for. He has every right to do that. Quite frankly I think your dad has either a lot of time to waste or is a little over protective, either one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sui Generis Posted February 16, 2003 Author Share Posted February 16, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sara [/i] [B][size=1]Ouch. That would...well, that would be bad. Legally, you're a minor, blah blah blah. But, yeah. That's wrong. Do you feel comfortable confronting him about it? If you think there's a chance it would help, that would be the best way to go. If not, the only thing I can suggest is deleting your history and logging out of any sites that you frequent. [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] I've told him yet he keeps continuing to do it. He says that if I'm on the internet my "privacy isn't safe anyways, so what difference does it make." He doesn't understand though....*shrugs* Harry he didn't pay for it all... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhys Mayiessen Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [color=navy]Yeah that is bad... One time my Dad was watching me talk on msn to see how it worked. Anyways I don't think he could read it cause I would type really fast then close it right away. Luckly my Dad has never really watched it again after that.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [size=1] This would drive me crazy. I say if the case is that he does pay for the internet service and he bought the computer and he allows you to use it, then yes. It would be perfectly fine. If he doesn't, and you pay for the internet service and you bought the computer, got it as a gift etc. then no, he doesn't have that right. If you guys split the costs then you should come up with a comprimise. I can't really give any other ideas if I don't know all of the information. (PS: Sorry about this, Bryan.)[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [size=1][color=indigo]Heh, I have a friend who was in quite a similar situation. Her dad monitored her online activity, including instant messaging and what not. The way she got him to stop reading her IM conversations probably was not the best idea, but it worked. All she did was constantly swear and say "bad things" about "God" (fairly strict Christian family). I think her dad got the message. I do not necessarily suggest doing this. ^_~ I would either seriously talk to him about it, but make sure to be prepared to defend every possible aspect. Do your research and such. ... Or, if you want to take a bit higher risk, give him an example of how just invasive his actions are. If he gets some mail, and you get the mail first. Read it, and tell him about the contents of it when you see him next. I would call that second one "Plan B", though. You could probably use it as a hypothetical situation in "Plan A". Though, some people just do not get it until they actually experience it themselves.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 Well, parents have the right to be concerned with what their children do to some extent. Concern shows that they care. And the internet is basically a window leading into a world where one can come into contact with all kinds of nut cases. That's why, of course, services like AOL have parental controls that can be put into place. I don't know what kind of parental controls your service has, if any, though. But, parents really should place a little trust into their children to a certain extent. They should have faith that their kids will make the right decisions. I'm not a parent, so I can't speak with the confidence and certainty of experience, but I assume that it's important to demonstrate to children they can be trusted and that they'll remember the values and lessons that have been placed upon them. From what I can tell, your father is overdoing it. There's a difference between parenting and prying. When parents show such a clear lack of trust and respect, it can only lead to elusive behavior on the child's part. I mean, that's what I would think. The more nosey the parent, the better the child will become at hiding things and rebelling. The best advice that I can give has already been given. Try to log out of sites or delete messages and mail when you are done reading and replying. I'm not sure how much you can accomplish by talking with him about it. But, it may be worth a try. I dunno. :shrugs: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathKnight Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Harry [/i] [B]You're a kid using a computer he payed for or atleast the internet that he is paying for. He has every right to do that.[/B][/QUOTE] [color=crimson]Haha. You're silly. --- Honestly, Parents need to **** off. I hate the way they try to embed themselves into your lifes, as if you cant handle one little thing. I really have problems with authority, and I cant stand any form of parent being annoying idiots twards their kids.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iggy Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 I think you should stand up to your dad and say dad, I know you are trying to watch out for me, but something I want to be kept private from you. I have my own life and I want it to be private to some extent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [color=0099FF] [size=1]Oh boy, that would drive me crazy!@_@ Everyone should have their own privacy man! And your dad is checking if it is porn?!? Does he read your email or he goes to a porn site? [/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 I understand him being protective, but I don't think that it's right for him to read all your personal stuff. That's like him opening up your mail or coming into your room without knocking. Parents sometimes get all high and mighty and forget to respect you in little ways. Here's what I would do.... Stage a false Private message in which you tell someone how you feel about how he's acting, he'll read it and realize that he's been a jerk about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iggy Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 My friends mom did that for a while He finally gathered up enough courage and told her to stop and well so far his mom hasnt been so protective Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinetic Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [color=darkblue] I'm in sort of the same situation but not as bad. My dad always logs onto my computer and I'll find things open, but I don't think he logs onto Otaku and checks everything, since that's pretty much all I go to :p I hope the situation gets better, and I agree with Piro wholeheartedly, I'd start checking his files and mail and everything else. That's exactly what I'd do. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [size=1][color=blue] I agree with Prio's "Plan B." Getting his mail and reading it first then giving it to him and telling him what its about will get him angry but then he will notice its exactly what hes doing. Just tell him your doing exactly what he is doing. That should set him straight.[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted February 16, 2003 Share Posted February 16, 2003 [color=ff00cc] [size=1]I think everyone deserves a little privacy... It'd creep me out if my parents did that to me. oO; Anyways, you should talk to him about it. Just in a really slow way so he won't get upset/mad, and you guys won't bump into an arguement. Just ask him nicely about getting a little privacy, and a little time to yourself. :whoops:[/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deedlit Posted February 17, 2003 Share Posted February 17, 2003 [color=009966]There's not enough privacy in the world if you ask me....:grumble: I can understand if he checks the sites you're on, but it is really annoying when re reads your PMs....especially when some of your siblings are reading them over your shoulder! (*hint hint to siblings*) Ahem... Maybe your dad will learn to respect your privacy soon. [/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted February 17, 2003 Share Posted February 17, 2003 as for privacy i get to much why dont we switch spots bryan HAHAH ill live there you live here... my dad and sis ignore me 24 7.... i could smoke in the livingroom and i msure they wouldent notice or care... i dont like it when parents are nosey thought it bugs me to no end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Na'dou Posted February 17, 2003 Share Posted February 17, 2003 I know how you feel about privacy...I live in a small apartment, but my parents want me to keep the door open. I don't want them watching me. That just plain makes me nervous!...I'm not in as bad a situation as you, and I agree with what Piro said about doing the "mirror check" act with you dad...I made up that mirror check thing, I'm sure you knew... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted February 17, 2003 Share Posted February 17, 2003 [color=darkblue]I had the same problem with my mother a few months after I joined the boards. She was reading my PMs. I switched my options so that I had to log myself in with a password every time I got on. I also deleted it from the history, like Sara suggested. Haven't had a problem since. My parents have always loved doing things like reading my diary, e-mail, messages, spying on phone conversations, etc., etc. I have had numerous, sometimes heated, talks with them over this & they refused to budge. It's not nearly as bad these days, but it still happens & I'm 23 years old! Luckily I don't often stay with them. So, yeah, it's just something I learned to deal with. Which is kinda funny as well as counter-productive, [i]because it made me 10 times as sneaky as I would have been![/i] You might want to mention that to your dad. Or maybe he's trying to live vicariously though you. Who knows?[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hikaru Ichijyo Posted February 17, 2003 Share Posted February 17, 2003 Well personally I don't have a problem like that I paid for both my computers, net services, and live alone. However from a parent standpoint I can understand why they are being-overprotective since the net isn't all that safe...and if they did pay for the computer and net service then it does give them a right to check up on what your doing especially if your a minor.. remember they're probably looking out for your well being which most parents do. Not invading your privacy. Though in defense to you, everyone needs their space and privacy so maybe you should bring it up with your dad, just do it in the right tone of voice like an adult would. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syk3 Posted February 17, 2003 Share Posted February 17, 2003 Ahh, your dad is very protective, and while he has good intentions, everyone deserves a little privacy. I would recommend either deleting the history to a certain extent, making sure it isn't too obvious, or telling people on aim how over-protective your father is. Leaving a link to this page would be perfect. On a side note, I had no idea that AIM convos were saved. -__- Mind hooking me up on how I would find them? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black cat 2 Posted February 18, 2003 Share Posted February 18, 2003 well i personally think it's just plain wrong. my dad is a little over protective like not letting me have a bf for a while but not as bad as that. does your mom know about this and if she doesn't then why not tell her about this? hell, i would do anything to keep my dad from reading my personal stuff. ecpecially since i keep my diary on the computer. i also have a diary in a book but nobody goes in my room so that is safe. oh and my signitaure on my replies isn't mine i got it from my bff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juu Posted February 19, 2003 Share Posted February 19, 2003 [color=ff00cc] [size=1]Yikes... well, he just wanted me to letcha know, he's grounded because of this thread. Looks like one of his parents saw this or something... = \[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted February 19, 2003 Share Posted February 19, 2003 actualy it was not this thread it was what me and him were talking about through PRIVET MESSEGES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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