GinnyLyn Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 As some of you may or may not know, my mom attempted to overdose on OTC drugs Thursday night. My father woke me up first thing Friday morning to tell me, and then rush off to the hospital. Naturally, the incident was a complete shock to me. My mom never seemed like the type...she was depressed, but she had only attempted once before and that was over a decade ago. I'd never thought she'd try it again. We visited her at the hospital last night, and she seemed ok, physically. What scared me is that she kept saying stuff like, "Well, at least my friend took me seriously about this," or "I could have pulled it off, you know." My aunt told us that my mom said she was going to pull it off one of these days and handed my dad a note my mom had written before she had taken the pills; my aunt quickly followed that by saying that that was the depression talking. Right now, they are analyzing my mom's mental and emotional stability, to see if she can come home, or if she needs to be placed in a facility for a few days. She is definitely getting a prescription to handle the "imbalance in her brain". Not only am I blown away by all this happening (and a major thanks to everyone who comforted me yesterday), I'm also worried about my mom (natch). I feel like, from now on, I'm going to have to worry about leaving her alone, for fear she might try to take more pills, or try some other way. I'm also hurt that I, the person that was really close to her for my entire life, was kept in the dark; she kept playing happy around me, and she's quite good at it. I don't feel much guilt, but I am understandably upset that I couldn't keep this from happening. My other problem is, I act so much like my mom, it is scary. I went through a situation online this past week that paralleled actions she tried to take about ten years ago--running away from everyone she cared about because she thought no one cared. And ever since my uncle passed away last May, I find that I act more and more like her, especially when it comes to playing happy when I am really quite distraught. But I don't want to be like her--not if it'll lead to something like this! I...I'm not quite sure why I made this thread, but...if anyone has any advice about how to deal with this kind of situation (and I'm sure you do), please share. This has turned my world upside down and inside out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black cat 2 Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 i dont have any advice this time but im really sorry to hear about your mom. i don't think by reading your posts you are going to make a suicide attemp. i hope you feel better and you should try to make your mom happy. you have all my best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chris Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [COLOR=green]i am deeply sorry for you and your family. i don't have any information that will help you, but i'll pray for you. that's all i can do. i am very sorry. if there is anything i could do, please ask and i'll do the best i can. until we talk, all i can do is pray for you. i hope everything works out.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathKnight Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [color=crimson]I'm sorry to say it sounds like your mother doesnt care about anyone but herself, anymore. I really hate it when people sit in a thread and go "i'm sorry" and are most likely thinking this exact same thing.. I'm not calling her selfish, or anything near that. But if she does it again, and ends up not pulling through, you have every right to be feeling no sorrow, because theres no reason to mourn over people who dont have enough reasoning left in them to decide that it would hurt their fellow people if they did this sort of thing. I'm sorry, and if this offends you then.. hmm. You're in denial. Heh.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chris Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [COLOR=green]i wasn't thinking that. i was thinking that she has some problems and that she is definatly going though something that we don't know about. i say sorry because i am, not because it's polite and expected. and there is reason to morun. acording to my religion, if you comit suiside you automadically go to hell. and that is definatlly a reason to morun.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathKnight Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by ssj3 [/i] [B][COLOR=green]acording to my religion, if you comit suiside you automadically go to hell. and that is definatlly a reason to morun.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=crimson]Sigh... Christians. So annoying.. --- I wasnt directing that at you, but I have noticed over the course of several seriously depressing topics, that some people just seem to be reverberating a hollowed out "i'm sorry" in their posts each time, and it gets tireing. Ginny doesnt need a personal battle in her thread, so i'd be pleased if I didnt get a reply to this.. Sorry again Ginny, things will look up, you can count on it.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Sigh...at least we don't make comments like that...so stupid, so arrogant...if you don't want a spiteful response, don't post offending comments ;) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Ginny, I'm sorry for you and your family. Though, there's really no more consolation I can offer beyond my empathy, I'll pray for you. :) -Justin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heaven's Cloud Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [color=indigo]Ginny, I am truly sorry to hear about your problem. The only small bit of advice I can give you is that you should seek help if you go through normal periods of feeling low, ie: being in a down mood all of the time and feeling that it is normal.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexa Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [size=1]I do have some advice, show your mom, in your own way what she has to live for (and I'm sure its a lot), maybe she'll feel that the eed to commit suicide isn't needed. I'm not too good with this sort of stuff ><[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Ginny, I know you already know this, but I'm going to say it anyway (regardless of what anyone else may think). We can't always see God's grand design. The important thing is that you never give up faith. He has his reasons, even if we don't see them. I'll be praying for you, and you know how to reach me if you need a shoulder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chris Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by DeathKnight [/i] [B][color=crimson]Sigh... Christians. So annoying.. [/color] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=green]sigh . . . you'll get over it. i agree with shaun, we never know his plans. and once again, i'm sorry and i'll pray for you.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasrai Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [COLOR=green]Giiny I will you give you this bit of advice and I hope it comes as a consolation to you. You musn't be upset about not being able to stop this kind of thing, and I want you to know it wasn't your fault. Also ou musn't be upset about being kept in the dark. Your mother was probably just trying to protect you. You say that your mother always acted Happy around you. Maybe she wasn't acting maybe she was happy to be around you. And If she was really acting, it wasn't because she didn't love you or care. It Was because she cared alot and didn't want you to see her all sad and depressed, she didn't want you to be that way also. She wants you to be happy and care-free. She acted because she LOVES YOU! I grant that your mother was probably trying to runaway from the people she loved and her problems, but that probably because she thinks people don't care. You can prove her wrong! You can make a differance in her life! Show her that you care and love her with all your heart. Let your deepest emotions of love and caring flow from your fingertips and into her soul. Fill her with your love! Also comfort your father, he is going through the same feelings you are and maybe even feels worse, if possible. What your mother needs right now, and in other trials, is you and your father's love to shine as a beacon of hope, when she is lost. Remember we are all children of God and he loves us all. Ginny, you can make a differance, surround your family in love and nuture it forever! Remember to Love always! I hope this helps and comforts you. ~Raiye~[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cloricus Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 Okay I can't tell you much, I can tell you what might happen and the feelings your most likely to have. Though you must remember this is all in her head and has the be solved there. Hoping, praying and other things are useless. There is nothing you can do. It's harsh but that's the way it is. (Except what I said in pm, but even that doesn?t help to much.) As for the Christians saying ?pray? it doesn?t work, trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicoTranzrig Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [COLOR=darkblue]I guess my advice would just be to give her some love until she realizes that there is that hope deep down inside. I kinda figure that children carry some behavoiral aspect of their parents and it keeps getting passed down. There isn't any hiding it even though people try, but just keep giving her that unconditional love and compassion, no matter what happens.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted February 22, 2003 Share Posted February 22, 2003 [color=darkblue]First, ignore what some people have said & turn to your faith. It can be a great comfort at this time. Now for the harsh realities: Be glad that it didn't work this time & get her some help fast. I can't imagine that the psych ward of that hospital (or another) wouldn't keep her for at least a few days. You can ask to have her green-warranted if she poses a threat to herself or others, which obviously she does. Maybe the reason she tried to act happy before was to hide what she was going to do. Or maybe it was spontaneous, I don't know. The real question is, do you think she's planning to do it again? How has her general reaction been -- remorseful, thankful to be alive, mad to be alive, resisting treatment, accepting treatment, etc? If you notice any signs whatsoever, report it to a doctor immediately, before she is released, like the thing about "I could have pulled it off." How did anyone know what she did, anyway? Another reason she needs to be hospitalized is so she can go to group meetings. Suicide attempters (heh) feel alone, hopeless, & helpless & need to know there are others who feel the same way. Sometimes there are even speakers who can attest to the fact that they can beat their depression with the proper treatment. Advice for when she comes home: I'm assuming you & your family will be watching her more closely, & she might get irritated at you. Don't let it hurt your feelings. In her mind, it's a control issue, all of this is. I hope she will voluntarily check herself into psych care, & not have to be forced. [i]But it is essential that she go.[/i] I know what I'm saying is a lot of pressure for you & mostly practical advice rather than emotional support but you need to be strong since her life is at stake. I know it's totally unfair. You're going to need to talk to a counselor yourself as soon as you can, & be sure to lean on your family. You all need the support of each other more than ever. Sorry if this sounds harsh. I can be blunt at times.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 [color=red] I...I don't have much I can say. All I can say is hold yourself together as long and as hard as you can. I'm here for you if you eve need me, too. Heck, I might even Instant Message you myself. Hang in there.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chris Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by cloricus [/i] [B]As for the Christians saying ?pray? it doesn?t work, trust me. [/B][/QUOTE] [color=green]it does work. i know a girl that was completely healed from breast cancer because my church was praying for her. you don't have to believe it, but it works. and that's what i'm going to do. pray.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Na'dou Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 Ginny, I don't know if this will help, but it might make you think. (heck I don't know if you should even listen, I'm young). You have made many friends here, which includes me. I know I have too, or at least I can think that. I think you made this thread because you know you have friends here who you can turn to when you need a hand or a piece of advice. Take it from me, I am after all the one who sent you the "Don't Think I'm Crazy" thing.......(sorry about that). You helped me feel better, and I remember since then that you were a friend who cared truly, and I would never want to hurt you...So just remember, if you ever think of suicide (which is a sin in my book) try to remember your friends and family who care about you and would be really hurt to lose you in such a way as that...I'm sorry this happened to your mom, I hope she tries to talk it out in the future....If I can't help you, go talk to your church leader (or priest to us Catholics). I'm sure he could give some wonderful advice.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCBaggee Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 [color=red]Ginny, my heart and soul go out to you. I'll keep you in my prayers. _____________ The rest of you, this is Ginny looking for a little help here. I personally don't think sitting around bashing each other's religion is appropriate. --Chris[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Na'dou Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 Yeah, I agree.....It won't make Ginny feel any better either....bickering never does.....Sorry for speaking out of line a bit... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted February 23, 2003 Author Share Posted February 23, 2003 Thanks, everyone. I... ...thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black cat 2 Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by JCBaggee [/i] [B][color=red]Ginny, my heart and soul go out to you. I'll keep you in my prayers. _____________ The rest of you, this is Ginny looking for a little help here. I personally don't think sitting around bashing each other's religion is appropriate. --Chris[/color] [/B][/QUOTE] you are absolutly right jc. things usually get outta hand on threads because of ignorinte things some people say. i admit i get outta hand to. almost everyone does but sonner or later it gets back on topic. ginny, i hope you feel better and you and your family are in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 First of all, Ginny, it's important to realize that you're not being just like your mother. The fact that you vented your grief and worries in this thread proves that. In a way, you're not keeping everything bottled up. Even if this is only a Internet forum, I hope that getting your problems off your chest provides you some relief. Just remember, you always will have people you can turn to and be honest with here. And...you have every right to take your mother's comments seriously. People who threaten to kill themselves are often sending messages to others. Her suicidal behavior could be a means of lashing out because or real or imagined wrongs. All you can do is try to be there for her more than ever and try to connect with her. It won't always be easy and it might be difficult to get her to express her true feelings, but I know that your love can see her through. Also, I know that she isn't being selfish and that she loves you very much. It's just that the feelings of grief and depression plaguing her are so thick and overbearing that she doesn't feel like she has a way of shedding them. And as Raiye said, she just doesn't want you to see her upset. She's probably afraid of the sadness she'll see in you--and she doesn't want to see her daughter become a reflection of her grief. It would probably make her feel guilty. Hopefully she will learn that she can drawl from your strength. From what I've learned, suicidal people don't really want to succeed. Deep down inside, I don't think that she wants to leave you. She probably just doesn't know how to reach out to you properly. I've studied suicide only recently and I've learned that a lack of religiosity can be a factor in suicide. Although I don't know you too well Ginny, I know that you're a religious person and that you have faith. If your mother hasn't been very committed to her religion, it might be beneficial if you help her get involved. Really, I'm sorry that to hear about all this and I hope that my words provided at least a glimmer of help. As a side note, I do not want to see any more religion bashing or bickering here--this isn't the place. It's very selfish for people to criticize one another in a thread where everyone should be providing words of sympathy and advice. I will be keeping a close eye on this thread and I will not tolerate ignorant or hurtful behavior. I'm not directing my comments at anyone in particular, but I felt the need to make the general warning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desbreko Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 [color=indigo]I've already said I'm sorry that you're having to go through this over AIM... And, well, I don't really have too much to say that hasn't been said already. I've been praying for you off and on (yeah, I'm not exactly the best at remembering) ever since you were going through all that with your uncle dying. I just want you to know that I'm continuing, and hopefully a little more often from now on. One other thing, is that I've actually contemplated suicide a few times. The main thing that has kept me from coming even close to doing it, though, is not wanting to hurt my friends and family. I think the best thing you can do for your mom right now is to show her that you love her, and that she wouldn't just be hurting herself, she'd be hurting you and others, too, if she were to go through with it.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Chris Posted February 23, 2003 Share Posted February 23, 2003 [color=green]first off, i'd like to say i'm sorry for almost ruining this thread. secondly, there isn't much i can say that hasn't been already said. if you ever need anything, i'm here for you. if you need advice, i'll give you the best i know. if you need help, i'll do what ever i can. if you need someone to listen, i'll be glad to. if you ever need anything, i'm here for you. and so is god.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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