Alexa Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [size=1]The scariest thing happened, just yesterday. To the girl I've known most of my life. Oh, God. That friend..She doesn't mind if I put up her name here. Kimberly has been my best friend since I moved to Texas 10 years ago (I'm 14 years old now) We're like sisters to each other, Kim is always there for me. I want to help her really badly. Her parents just divorced recently, as you can see in previous posts, she is anyway pretty, and she tends to go for the 'wrong kind of guy'. She's so smart though. She always knew what she was doing, and teased me of bieng overprotective. She was totally dpressed, about her parent's splitup, and Kim was in ruins. I called her over to my house, to do some homework, but no one picked up the phone. I just thought that her parents and her were out, sorting out the dovorce and all. I went to bed about 11, and while I was like this, (-_-) She phoned. She was crying, and I was naturally shocked. I asked her what's wrong, and she told me she just discovered she was pregnant. My mouth practically dropped open, and I nearly fainted. She is only 14, for God's sake. She can't ruin her life, and to make stuff worse, she's Catholic. Meaning, her family and her parents won't even dare to allow an abortion. I know her mom and dad, they're strict about their faith. She's going to go along with the pregnancy, she thinks. Her parent's don't know yet, my mom took her to the docter's today to confirm it. I came home early from school, and I'm just wating for them to come back. I'm dead inside. My other half, my best friend is in such a horrible situation, and I'm helpless. Its this helplessness that kills me. Kim's im my prayers. Hopefully, with her parent's consent, she'll be able to get an abortion. I know abortions are immoral, and her parent's even more so. I tihnk the situation is, she's going to have the baby, and give it up for adoption. ....I've read about this before...its happening to my best friend.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 She shouldn't have an abortion anyway. I feel badly for her, but as long as she wasn't raped, she should have to accept responsibility for her mistakes. As for the adoption thing, that's a much better route. Send her my regrets. :( -Justin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Matt Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [color=red][b]I agree with Justin. Abortions are wrong. Unless she was raped, she should not get one. If she doesn't think she can handle the child, the best thing would to put it up for adoption. People that young should not be having sex. My condolences to her.[/b][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hinata Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [COLOR=skyblue] You say you feel helpless in the situation...all you gotta do is be there for your friend. I was 14 and pregnant and I had my baby. She five and gorgoeous and we all adore her. Yes is was hard because I couldn't live my life the same but you're not the one in controll of the situation. If you truly want to help you friend, be there for her, whatever she may decide to do, you just stand by her. Don't leave your friend behind because that'll be the worse thing you could do. Who knows you may be her backbone and her only true friend, if you step away that'll damage her more so that having that baby!!!![/COLOR] [QUOTE]However, if she wants an abortion, her parents have every right to tell her no. She should pay the consequences of her actions. I'm sorry, but you just don't get to do something stupid then take the easy way out. It's Cause and Effect. [/QUOTE] Sere you have a point, but depending on what state laws are...she can have an abortion w/o parental consent. And yes its cause and effect, but there are plenty of people who aren't payint the true effects for their actions now and others are going behind them thinking the same way....That's how I got caught up. Do I regret it..sometimes, but that's just the way life works. But I wouldn't want to give my little girl up for nothing. I'm dealing with the situation and I'll continue to do so. Your values are strong Sere... I hope you stick to em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sere Tuscumbia Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 I feel sorry for the girl, but if she's pregnant (we don't know the results of the test, so it may just be a fake thing (it happens! It DOES!)) the best thing it'll do is teach her a lesson. She wanted to put herself out as a scarlet woman, and this happened to her. Hopefully this will put a little sense into her head about relationships. However, I say support her throughout this whole thing, no matter how immoral she's acted. However, if she wants an abortion, her parents have every right to tell her no. She should pay the consequences of her actions. I'm sorry, but you just don't get to do something stupid then take the easy way out. It's Cause and Effect. She just doesn't want the Effect part of the deal. And yes, I may sound rude and uncaring, but I feel very deeply about subjects like these. It's in my opinion that anyone, whether they be kids, teenagers, or adults, should be married if they're thinking about being sexual with each other. Premarital intercourse is wrong, and although I know people who would disagree, its my opinion and I'm going to stick to it throughout my whole life. I do feel badly for Kim, but she did something stupid, and should pay for it. If you don't take a friend's advice, then you learn lessons the hard way. *shrugs* That's all life is. --Sere Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kei Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [color=royalblue]Although it is sad to here that someone that young now has to deal with raising a child when she's still one herself, I don't believe she should get an abortion. It is true, it will be difficult, but the fact is, if you want to go around having sex, getting pregnant is one of the consequences that can be rendered. I hope you give her lots of support, because due to what you said, I think she might need it whenever she tells her parents. Send her my best wishes.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treton_noir Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 its a terrible thing, but actions arent without consequences. i hate to sound negative, but she put herself into the situation. she's got to deal with it. im really sorry it happened to her. my advice is "try to be there for her. she hasnt thrown her life away yet, so dont let her give up (especially in school). one of my best friends got pregnant in high school, is a great mother, and graduated in the top 10 of our class." edit- too many of these (") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 Mark me down with justin and matt. I feel really bad about what has happend to this girl, but she needs to accept responsibility. If she can take the actions to be in the situation, she can take the actions needed to accept the situation. Abortion is not the correct path in my opinion. And if I was gonna bet on it... I would bet that if she accepts responsibility and has the child, then gives it up for adoption, she will be less likely to have this happen again. Where as, if she had an abortion, I would be willing to bet this would happen again. I hope that your friend can stay strong and healthy through this. I will pray for her to make the right decisions at this most turbulent time in her life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 There are only three options in this case... believe me I've gone through it before. My brother was 16 when he got his now fiancee pregnant. It's not quite 14, but the same thing applys. They were way too young. She went through the thought of an abortion. Took it serious for a long while. On the day she was scheduled to go in, she decided she was too close to the baby inside her. You can only do legal abortions during the first trimester when the fetus has not fully developed into anything fesable of living. She was pushing t and then decided not to do it and just go head and face her parents, and have the baby and keep it of all things. I guess my brother did the same. I didn't really care abotu him during this time. He was treating her really bad, like he just didn't seem to care. I was more concerned about her, since she trusted me enough to be the first one to tell. Through 9 months of hell, my neice was born on March 16th. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She's almost 2 now. My brother is getting married to his girlfriend this summer and they will live together and have been raising their daughter. It's no impossible to raise a child. PLEASE tell your friend that a child without both parental figures in their life has a worse chance at life than one with a father and mother. Hopefully she knows who the father is. If thats the case, she needs to make sure, if she has this baby and keeps it, that that man is in that baby's life. If he won't, then make him legally. There's nothing that pisses me off more than people having kids who aren't fit to be parents. If she can't take care of the child, she needs to give it up for adoption. Those are her only three choices... there's nothing else she can do. She did the deed, she has to pay the price. USE CONDOMS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 Atleast she's not in this position: [url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2789279.stm[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Harry [/i] [B]Atleast she's not in this position: [url]http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2789279.stm[/url] [/B][/QUOTE] She wouldn't be the youngest... The youngest is 8. Anyway, there's not much she can do. Living in that government with such rules doesn't leave much anything to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genkai Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 8? Aggh.. My friend was pregnant last year. She was 11. She did not abort, nor give it up for adoption. She said she couldn't live with it. So she still has her(the baby). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by genkai [/i] [B]8? Aggh.. My friend was pregnant last year. She was 11. She did not abort, nor give it up for adoption. She said she couldn't live with it. So she still has her(the baby). [/B][/QUOTE] Was she raped? I assume if not then it was an older guy. Thats kinda weird... and really young... I couldn't imagine that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Transtic Nerve[/i] [B]USE CONDOMS![/B][/QUOTE][color=indigo][size=1]Or just do not have sex until you are married and ready... o-O Condoms are not 100% fool-proof. Only about 60%-70%. There are better forms of birth control. The only method which is garunteed to not get you pregnant is abstinence. ^.~ (assuming one is not raped) My support is to go through with the pregnancy. Though, if she is a small girl it is possible to take some phsyical damage from the birth. That would be quite unfortunate.[/color][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by PiroMunkie [/i] [B][color=indigo][size=1]Or just do not have sex until you are married and ready... o-O Condoms are not 100% fool-proof. Only about 60%-70%. There are better forms of birth control. The only method which is garunteed to not get you pregnant is abstinence. ^.~ (assuming one is not raped) [/color][/size] [/B][/QUOTE] Condoms work better than that. Depending on what kind you are using. They work 90% of the time from what I've learned. As far as disease goes they may work less. I know sheep skin condoms don't work against HIV at all... although there is always no 100% proof they'll work. For many times they break, but anyone having sex will feel that, and thats when you switch. There's many things you can do. Birth control, female condoms, male condoms... those are the best... theres other that don't work well though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heaven's Cloud Posted February 25, 2003 Share Posted February 25, 2003 [color=indigo]I don't know...I tend to disagree with most of the people's opinions on this issue. If she doesn't think that she can deal with carrying a baby for nine months then she should have an abortion, I think it is better then if she mistreated herself and miscarried after the first trimester.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 [size=1]My heart goes out to your friend, D*Star. As far as condoms go, they aren't as effective as a lot of people think. I can't give you any percentages offhand.. *glances at TN and Piro* But women still get pregnant, and that's only possible at certain times each month. You can contract a VD 365 days a year.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Condoms break, sometimes shipments are defective. You never know what's going to happen and I'd never trust 100% in any form of birth control. Nothing in the world is 100% it seems, let alone that. I'll tell you, never even bother with a female condom. That has to be one of the most moronic contraceptives I've ever seen. I've never personally used one, but if you've seen one firsthand you'll know what I mean. You might as well just use plastic wrap. Anyway, I hope things go well and she's able to make the best choices she possibly can that will help her baby as well as herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Sara [/i] [B][size=1]As far as condoms go, they aren't as effective as a lot of people think. I can't give you any percentages offhand.. *glances at TN and Piro* But women still get pregnant, and that's only possible at certain times each month. You can contract a VD 365 days a year.[/size] [/B][/QUOTE] COntrarty to popular belief women can get pregnant ANY time as long as they are ovulating. Meaning, they have periods. There seems to be this thought you can only get a girl pregnant certain times a month, which is not the case. Even IF she is having her period or ovulating while having sex, the chance still exists she could be pregnant. As far as Plastic wrap Semjaza, that works just as well. Something like seran wrap, assuming it doesn't break, works as effectively as a condom. Provided you leave room for semen like a condom has... the "resivior" as they call it lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 [color=0099FF] [size=1]She shouldn't get an abortion, it wouldn't be fair for the baby. And the person who got her pregnant should take some responsibility. Anyways, I wish your friend the best of luck on whichever way she chooses.[/color] [/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Transtic Nerve [/i] [B]As far as Plastic wrap Semjaza, that works just as well. Something like seran wrap, assuming it doesn't break, works as effectively as a condom. Provided you leave room for semen like a condom has... the "resivior" as they call it lol. [/B][/QUOTE] Hmm. Maybe if you use a rubberband to keep it secure. This would be the last resort condom I'd say heh. Not something I'd be too happy with lol. Edit - And the youngest is actually 5. She was Lina Medina from Peru. Her son died in his 40s. She's still alive. Apparently her sexual glands were basically fully developed when she was born. No one knows the father. Here's a link I found quick once I remembered that story: [url]http://youngest_mother.tripod.com/[/url] Has a picture. The guy is her doctor. Anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frankie Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 Ok heres my look on this Even if she WAS raped she should not get an abortion.... abortion is like takeing ones life. Murder in my mind. Takeing a life... bad. I was adopted I SHOULD KNOW!!! adoption is a much better route to take... no matter what happened between the real mother and father Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrypToniK Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 WOW! 14. That is real young and in my opinion stupid. Why would you be that young and not use any protection in the first place? Anyways, best of luck to your friend. *Don't take this post offensivley, just my opinion* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 I don't like abortion when the mother was raped...in fact, I think it's just as wrong. But considering all the things a baby can mean(especially to a 14-year-old), for society's sake I say abortion after rape is at least a very good excuse. However, I get the sense that this one wasn't after a rape...therefore, I think she should at least be responsible for carrying her child. Maybe next time, she'll think twice. -Justin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Domon Posted February 26, 2003 Share Posted February 26, 2003 I think she should have an abortion. I know i can see a whole ton of of you taking one massive gasp but that's what i think. Putting the kid up for adoption tends to be trumatic for a young mother. I'm sorry if i sound harsh but that's what i honestly think. It doesn't matter if a woman was raped and then has an abortion because she finds out she's pregnant. I think abortions are availible to anyone, i mean there are people who live in this town and some of these families have actually had up to 22 kids, now i'm sorry around kid 10 there are gonna start being problems, so i think that the mother should have an abortion, so i honestly think that she should have an abortion. I think that she doesn't need to haul around a kid now especially if she is just starting highschool. Plus how is she going to take care of it and provide for it? She's too young to participate in the work force and i'm guessing that both her parents work, so i think an abortion would be the best way to go. Again sorry if i sound harsh but that's what i think she should do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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