Guest Kaizer_Boy Posted March 5, 2003 Share Posted March 5, 2003 Part 1 In a world of dreams and adventure, there lived 1 kid. she had the power to control the weather. One day(While practicing her psy powers) a creature(Psy-bird) came up to her. "Are you a psy?" He asked. Erika(The girl) did not answer him. Psy-bird sighed. "You mean!" He wailed. Than, he ran away from Erika. After practicing psy powers, she went home. "I'm a master of power. I belive my life" she started to sing the song healing wind. Before she got home, a tri-pio came up to here. "Are you Erika pleeka?" Asked the creature. "Yes." She answered. "Here you go." The creature handed Erika a package.Erika opened the package. And in the package was a baby Psy-bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted March 5, 2003 Share Posted March 5, 2003 [color=darkred]To be honest, it's a little short. There's no actual point, and the brackets would probably be better served if, instead of using them, you explained in sentences. Try adding some description, and more of a point. It could be all right, but as it is... Sorry if I seem harsh >.<[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Kaizer_Boy Posted March 9, 2003 Share Posted March 9, 2003 Screw you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spike speigel Posted March 9, 2003 Share Posted March 9, 2003 Hm, well I've got to agree with Lady Asphyxia. The stroy is kinda pointless. Maybe if you explained everything a little more, it would be better. And rude comments like that last post will get you no where. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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