Removal of Expectations is the key to contentment

[Harry]

Ever wondered why that pretty girl would rather date a jerk who's just going to hurt her instead of you who cares for her? Ever wondered how you can work your fingers to the bone for ten years to make the type of progress another man can in two? Ever wondered how for all your troubles, you never seem to be heading anywhere?

The truth is that life is full of absurdities, illogical inconsistencies, and other things which are just plain unjust. One can almost say that life is a pointless second in an endless eternity, and to strive for anything when death, often unwanted and sometimes unexpected, lurks around the corner, is to exhibit valorous foolishness. Or is it? All things considered, the world and life is a wonderful thing. Sure, our expectations are often far greater than what we will ever have or achieve, and many problems will surface. But, for those brief seconds our eyes are open before iunavoidable mortality closes them, the mere act of living should fill one with content.

I believe that if one removes all expectations, and simply accepts life for whatever it's state as little more than a short joke the human collective laughs at, then life will never be miserable. Which is not to say one should not strive for things- However, expecting that anything in life would go exactly as planned or be "fair" within one's own terms is the true cause of human suffering. Nothing more.

Live and love life, or die with a frown.

[Darkmoon]

[size=1]You are starting to sound like some kinda phlosapher or something to me...[/size]

I think I agree with you. If you take away expectations of yourself and others axpectations of you than you will be able to live more freely and happily. But it's in the human nature to put and set these kinds of goals. No matter how hard you try, you can't escape it. It's as if you don't want us to think any more. The more we learn the higher our expectations.

But yeah, I think I would enjoy one day of pure relaxation.

[size=1](either that or I think I got your point wrong... I'll have to read it over again to make sure I'm not makeing a fool of myself)[/size]

[Domon]

Hoy ve, yet another worthless thread brought to you courtesy of Harry. What the hell are you getting at anyways? That life is nothing but a huge joke or that its just so unfair that we should go into a corner and cry like a baby? I personally think that life is pretty cool with the little surprises it hands you. I mean yes some of those surprises are super devestating but still it changes you and your outlook on life. But if you can't realize that then i feel extremely sorry for you.

[Lady Asphyxia]

[color=darkred]Well, this mght sound illogical, but I think that she dates the jerk because she knows what to expect - after all, being liked deeply is simply scary, and a person can deal with pain when its expected better than when it isn't. Opportunity and skill are all that matters in the work place. If you aren't heading somewhere, then just ignore it and go backwards - its more fun. [Answering my view on the quesitons]

If you take away your expectations of self, you have nothing to strive for. If you have nothing to strive for, you may be happy, but its a vague happiness, and nothing compared to that when you actually achieve your goal. Which is why people set goals in the first place.Anyway, you've already said that, or a few words to that effect...

Life will always have miserable parts in it, because [In my opinion] if you don't have the miserable times, then the happy times seem less happy. You have to have a balance between the two. A ratio. If you misery ratio goes down, then so must your happiness ratio, in the long run.

You might live and love life, but you can still die with a frown.

I understand your point, but I don't find it possible to see in the big scheme of things. I am the center of my universe, and if something happens to rock the boat, then I'm not going to laugh at it. Chances are, I'll cry a lot, then get over it.

We're taught that all things should be fair from childhood - how exactly does one let go of a principal that's so deeply ingrained?[/color]

[Guest cloricus]

Wait, before you flame Harry read he's posts a bit. I've just read his latest two and they have points and in fact good discussion goals. He's just not very good at expressing what he wants to write. This could be a good topic if you give it a go.
(Though all of his previous ones that I've read have been crap.)

[Lady Asphyxia]

[color=darkred]I wasn't...at least, I didn't mean to. If it was seen as a flame, then sorry. It was me trying to put my thoughts across logically. I accept Harry's point of view, and to some extent I agree wtih it. But to others I don't. *shrug*[/color]

[Manic Webb]

Death, Famine, War, Harry makes a good point.
The world really is coming to an end.

Ok, seriously. I'm gonna have to agree with what Harry said. Not everything in life is fair. That's why Britney Spears is a diamond-selling singer, while people [i]who can actually sing[/i] make their living by flipping Big Macs during the day, singing on street corners at sundown, and exotic dancing late at night. The most one can do is just live and hope that they actually do achive their goals.

"Hope for the best. Expect the worst."

[James]

[color=#808080]I think this is kind of a moot subject, in the sense that most people understand that life isn't all sunshine and roses. ~_^

As for having expectations...well, sometimes having expectations is extremely important; especially in your career. If you have no expectations, you might end up with a lower quality result. And quality is the name of the game in your professional life.

As for your personal life...once again, sometimes expectations have to be there. For instance, I expect that my partner won't cheat on me. That is my reasonable expectation -- if I didn't expect that, then I wouldn't be in a relationship. So yes, having some expectations is very important to the stability and reassurance in your life.

But certainly, don't expect [i]everything[/i] to go your way. Having some expectations is important, but it's impossible (and probably not very interesting) to plan out your life to the nth degree.[/color]

[Dan L]

(to Harry) Dude!.. that has to be your best post ever..

and I completely agree.. cos when it comes to planning stuff I'm absolutely terrible and nothing ever goes that way.. things work out far better for me when I'm spontaneous instead.

[Jesus Chicken]

hehehe, someone else feels the same. YES! Life is completely pointless, because when it all comes down to it, it;s all to do with things that only mean anything because we say they do. Money is only worth anything because we said it is. People are only cool because we say they are, and cool has been defined by us.
IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!! NOTHING DOES!!!
So my philiosphy is have fun, make fun for yourself, and make sure someone else's life is worse then yours, so you feel even better! Sure, I don't know why we're wired that way, but we are, so don't try to fool yourself in being nice to others, when you really want to kill them. Obey your hearts desires, not someone else's minds desires.

[Harry]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by James [/i]
[B][color=#808080]I think this is kind of a moot subject, in the sense that most people understand that life isn't all sunshine and roses. ~_^[/b][/quote]
Yet people expect it to be sunshine and roses.

[quote]As for having expectations...well, sometimes having expectations is extremely important; especially in your career. If you have no expectations, you might end up with a lower quality result. And quality is the name of the game in your professional life.[/quote] That's true, but if they're content with their current life they won't hate work and do as good of a job as they normally do if not better.

[quote] For instance, I expect that my partner won't cheat on me. That is my reasonable expectation -- if I didn't expect that, then I wouldn't be in a relationship. [/quote]
That expectation is setting up for a downfall. If you simply don't care about it it won't hurt you when/if she does.

[Queen Asuka]

[color=hotpink][size=1]I don't believe that my life is pointless. And I'm leading a happy life. And I've fulfilled so many of my own expectations. I believe that if you think life is pointless, then you are a lazy and unambitious person. You don't feel like TRYING to make something for yourself and you always think the world is against you. I'm sorry, but the world doesn't revolve around you, and if you want something done, you have to accomplish it yourself. You can't sit around and wait for someone to do it for you or life will be "pointless."[/color][/size]

[Domon]

Yes! Finally someone sees what I meant, if you don't intend to do anything with your life other than flipping burgers for minimal wage then as an old saying goes "Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it." I mean come on, People who follow their expectations and get to them are admired because of what they accomplished. I mean look at Bill Gates, he's a millionaire now. Well when he started Microsoft it was a little hole in the wall in New Mexico, but he didn't give up and he now has like bazonga amounts of money. So if you have a dream and you follow it, of course, you'll hit a few roadblocks along the way but why would that stop you? I mean honestly. If you don't have the guts to take your licks and swallow your pride then you aren't gonna get anywhere in life. And plus the only reason Britiny Spears got to be a music star was because she [b]used[/b] to be able to sing, but now all she's probably concerned with is her sex appeal and looking like a hussy.

[vegeta rocker]

Detachment isn' the main thing on peoples minds usually. For them to take a step back and analyze their life is to ask too much of them. Whenever something truly tragic happens people examine their lives and just when they begin to realize it's pointless, something happy happens to them and they continue to lead their stupid happy lives.

If your asking if life is pointless then my answer is, yes it is.
But some people do things in their lives that make life better for others. That isn't pointless.

To remove all expectations for life is to make it even more pointless though.

[Subversive]

without expectations you have no goals, without goals you have no point, without a point you wander through life without a purpose. Is that anyway to live? I don't think so, but thats up to you...

[Darkmoon]

[quote]I mean look at Bill Gates, he's a millionaire now. Well when he started Microsoft it was a little hole in the wall in New Mexico, but he didn't give up and he now has like bazonga amounts of money.[/quote]

[size=1]You know that Bill Gates accually didn't become a millionaire because of a program he made, right? He ripped someone off and sold [i]their[/i] program and that's how he became a millionair.
Eh hehehe, I just felt like saying that.

Back to the point:[/size]

Your life has no point and is meaningless. That's why you make a meaning for it. People also make you a meaning for them (or so my parents always tell me. That's why they work so hard, so that I can get a good education and have a good life).

I don't beleive that I'm doing everything for nothing. [color=red]My life has a meaning to me and that's all that matters.[/color] That's what I was originally saying in my first post. Just sometimes I'd like to clear my head of all thoughts and think of what life would have been like with less pressure for just one day.

[size=1]Ignorance is bliss... Or sometimes anyways ;)[/size]

[Chaos]

Harry, you make things so melodramatic.

Live generally has one purpose; to make those around you suffer, provided that you don't give in to your pleasures. Free will is an intoxicating ability that can either make or break you. You have to go about understanding, my dear lunatic, that it depends 90 percent of the time on you. If you strive, try hard, and don't let up, you'll more than likely reach your goal. If you go around with a chip on your shoulder, you'll be less than par with hopes and dreams.

Unless of course you're a snooty idiot who thinks he's better than everyone because his family has a three-door garage and a BMW waiting for him when he gets his licence that would be bought by rubbing elbows with the mayor.

[If you know who I'm insulting, give yourself a pat on the back.]

[Harry]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Medra [/i]
[B]

Unless of course you're a snooty idiot who thinks he's better than everyone [/B][/QUOTE]
Speaking from the person that has not yet posted a post towards me without flaming me? Why do you even respond? All you do is post **** towards me and then you call me snooty? Do you even remember what I did to you? OH YEAH! Nothing. All you have been doing is calling me a moron ever since I got here, but that's ok since you're an almighty mod right? **** you.

[Lady Macaiodh]

[color=darkblue]Medra... ::sigh:: Nevermind, it's not worth it.

I'm inclined to agree with some of this. I know way too many people who sit around depressed about every little thing. "**** happens." That statement was invented for a reason. I'm not saying that, for example, if someone you love dies you should just brush it off & do a dance. What I mean is that wallowing in self-pity is one of the most counterproductive things a person can do. What does it acomplish?

As for the expectations thing, I pretty much have none. It's not like I choose to have none, it's just the way I am. Nothing surprises me. In this world, nothing should surprise anyone. I expect the sun to rise & set, gravity, death & taxes... that sort of stuff. But with human nature? Nada. It's not a pessimistic thing. I'm not a bitter person.

It's like on Seinfeld: "Well, that's a shame." It does suck, but it's also kind of funny, too.

I do have a good bit of confusion about things. But the fact that I experience the level of contentment that I do proves that I don't sweat the small stuff. It's pointless.[/color]

[Guest cloricus]

Sorry Lady Asphyxia, I wasn't talking to you. (Didn't mean it to sound like it was aimed at you at all.)

Medra, if that comment was aimed at Harry it wasn't very nice. Here he is making an effort in his posts and explaining his [i]personal[/i] views (which I thought we accepted on otaku?) and here you are not getting over what ever he has done. If you don't like someone settle it in pm and don't add in little insults in your posts. (Just leave that bit to gokents and my self in America threads. LOL :P ...Oh wait, I'm pro-America at the moment. Hmm.)
[color=teal]
As for me on this subject. I'm not very good at any thing except computers and failing. Though dropping my expectations of what I can achieve has made it allot easier to fail and get on with it. It's also made me have a relaxed attitude, which has helped a hell of allot. It's also helped me pass things and build up my self confidence and (for cadets anyway) "leadership skills".
So I believe it can be very good for you to think less of yourself, some times it will help you think more of what you can succeed in and make you a better person.
...Anyway, that's my gibberish for today. Back to setting up this damn(but cool) pc. :P
[/color]
Eps

[Lady Macaiodh]

[color=darkblue]Let me also clarify something. Just because I don't have expectations for others doesn't mean I don't have them for myself (goals & standards, you might say). I can't control others but I do control myself.

~Deb[/color]

[Mitch]

[color=red] I do not fully agree with you, Harry. Life will never be fully happy. Life will never be fully just. Life will never be completely a joy ride.

Taking away expectations is the worst way to go. Expectations are what give us goals and set ways and paths we can follow in life. Without expectations we would not get anywhere. I'm sure many have already notioned that.

Now, I don't even think some people [i]really[/i] want to be happy. Because happiness is an easily controlled emotion in some senses of the word. All it takes to be happy is a good outlook on things. A good optimism. But we all have our ineviable ups, and downs.

To tell you the truth I'd rather have it that people don't love life and find it pointless. I'd rather there be pain and suffering in this world. Because all of that does give reason, even as bad as it is, it gives reasons for our existence. That's what we humans are here for. Pain and suffering. Contentment is only a disillusioned lie. Life isn't happy. It isn't. Nor is it meant to be so. Pain and suffering are one of the most powerful points to be drawn here in this life. The worst is the strongest. The worst is the most revolting, the most passionate.

One cannot live life and not draw some expectations, some things in the distance. One cannot live life without pain or suffering. It isn't plausible nor is it possible. And just letting life fly by isn't going to do a dogged thing. Because we're all liked and threatend, cold and susceptible. There's no averting life nor its displeasures and tragedies.

It is impossible to not feel anything for life. It is impossible to not be passionate about the darker side of life. In all of us there's a darker side, there is. I know.

So your argument is logical in some senses, but it is impossible to forever be content with life. Darkness and corruption is built into humanity's ways. We all feed from it one way or another and we all drink from the same cold blood.[/color]

[Yu Law]

I'm with Mitch

If life was a joy ride we would just mess it up somehow

[Chaos]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Harry [/i]
[B]Speaking from the person that has not yet posted a post towards me without flaming me? Why do you even respond? All you do is post **** towards me and then you call me snooty? Do you even remember what I did to you? OH YEAH! Nothing. All you have been doing is calling me a moron ever since I got here, but that's ok since you're an almighty mod right? **** you. [/B][/QUOTE]

1) I respond because I saw an injustice, and I aimed to fix it.

2) If I was to flame you, you'd know it. That's basically a tea party joke I just dished out.

3) I'm calling you a moron because that's what you come across as.

4) And no, it's not because I am an 'almighty' mod; it's because I speak my mind.

[Defcon5]

If you go through life thinking that your life is meaningless then it will be. Every day you change somone elses life by the things you say and do, and in turn what you said may affect 100 other people. you may not see the results, but your life is not meaning less, no matter who you are.