Writing My very first FanFic

[Revelation]

[COLOR=deeppink]Hey, this is my very first fanfic. If you have any comments please post... i need to know what to fix.[/COLOR]

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Waking up to the sounds of seagulls and a warm ocean breeze, Kamiya stretches her arms out and walks downstairs to the kitchen. As she enters the dining room, she sees her older sister, Relina. ¡°Glad to see your up, Kamiya. Sit down. I¡¯ll make you breakfast.¡± Kamiya smiles and enters the den. She grabs the remote and curls up on the couch. As she turned the channels, something caught her eye. ¡°RELINA! Relina!!! Come quick. Look!¡± as she called for her sister, Relina walks into the den asking, ¡°What is it?¡± Kamiya turns the volume up. ¡°Look, isn¡¯t that Peraclies Island? And look! Isn¡¯t that the Prince?¡± Kamiya asks. Relina replies with nothing. (T.V.-Prince Tehran)¡±Citizens of Tyro. Do not be alarmed by this message. I repeat, do not be alarmed by this message. My father has just passed away. Therefore, I must sit at the throne. I ask that the people do not leave their homes. I repeat do not leave your homes. If you need anything, contact the nearest Station. I can only give you my word of safety. Thank you.¡± Kamiya turns the T.V. off and looks at Relina. ¡°What do you think he meant?¡± Relina replies, ¡°I¡¯m not sure.¡± Suddenly the doorbell rang. Relina turns and walks towards the door. ¡°Who is it?¡± she asks. ¡°I am a messenger from Prince Tehran.¡± Relina opened the door. The messenger handed her a letter. He turned and left and she shut the door. Kamiya asked her sister, ¡°Who¡¯s that letter for? Is it from the Prince?¡± Relina looked it over. ¡°Here. It¡¯s for you.¡± Relina handed the letter to her sister. Kamiya opened it and there was a disc. ¡°I¡¯ll be upstairs, figuring this out.¡± She said as she ran up the stairs. Relina walked to the kitchen and put everything away. She knew that whenever Kamiya was upstairs ¡°figuring¡± something out, it meant that she was going to be busy.

[nkid99]

Except for the fact that when the characters were talking u didn't put quotation marks around them