E-Dates

[Red]

[b][size=1]The good thing about 'dating' someone online, is you get to know them for who they are. First meeting someone isn't based on looks and then finding that they're a great person -- it's (sometimes) the other way around. In my mind it's a great thing.[/b][/size]

[GinnyLyn]

That's my whole thought on it--since I am in an online relationship of my own. *happy grin* Yes, there are dangerous freaks and weirdos out there, but to be honest, if the people that I've known for over a year now were going to try something, they would have by now.

Shaun and I are actually going to meet this summer, which should be a lot of fun! Both of us were/are really self conscious about the way we look, so getting to know each other's personalities first has been a great help. It also falls into my thought that, even if a guy is drop dead gorgeous, if he is a jerk, I won't have anything to do with him. He turns ugly, in the mind's eye.

I know three different couples that have been married for several years now that met online, but I wouldn't recommend online dating for everyone. Every case is different, and as such, there is no one, right, blanket opinion that we can lay on this topic. Just remember to [i]be careful[/i]--if someone starts asking for your personal info within the first week of knowing you, that's a major red flag to stay away from them. It's better to get to know people through MBs like this one and then develop a friendship on AIM or, later, over the phone.

*smiles at Shaun*

I'll tell you if my opinion has changed on this matter at all after June. :)

[Queen Asuka]

[color=hotpink][size=1]My marriage tag in my signiture is just a joke. And a very nice on-going on. It's fun to say you're married, especially when it's to a close friend. Like me and Piro. ^_^

I am not really opposed to internet relationships. I believe it's the newest and most convenient way to meet people. You don't judge by looks because you meet each other's personalities head on. It is something that becomes more personal because you CAN'T see that person...

And for all you people who talk about people lying on the internet, I've only encountered that with younger children who want to say their 18 when they are obviously 11 or 12. That's what ticks me off.[/color][/size]

[Darkness]

Ehhhh.... Well, I think that e-dating is okay, but is mostly fruitless. True, I know a girl back home who ended up getting married to an internet buddy, but how often does that happen? To me, it's really no different from the personals in the newspapers. As long as you're careful with the meeting process, everything would be fine.

[Genkai]

I don't like it... I had one online relationship, and that was even with someone I had met but lived many a lightyear away.


I think part of it is that we long for a certain physical aspect, from looking into eachother's eyes and holding hands to making out and having (dare I say it hehe) sex.


Also, it's soothing to know there's someone you can trust that you're with, and you can never be assured of that online.

But I think there are SOME exceptions *stalks Juu*...*online*...*or something*.....

[Darkness]

Yeah, definitely. I believe that any successful relationship has to have that physical aspect to survive and flourish. If there is no actual meeting, the concept of internet dating is just plain stupid. I mean really, what's the point?

[BabyGirl]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by genkai [/i]
[B]I think part of it is that we long for a certain physical aspect, from looking into eachother's eyes and holding hands to making out and having (dare I say it hehe) sex.
[/B][/QUOTE]

[color=deeppink]But it's so true, lol. I'm a very physical and passionate person, it's hard for me to be physically separated from a guy for too long because I simply love touching and looking. Having your partner's actual body to explore is something really amazing that you could never get from online relationships.

I'm not opposed to them I guess, but I'd never consider having one. First of all, [pardon any vanity that may protrude] I'm really not lacking attention from guys in real life. That's probably the number one reason that I'd never look for a guy to date online. However, if I wasn't confident about my looks and myself, I'm sure that I'd want to revert to the online thing until I improved my self esteem.

If you really disect it, if you're dating someone online that you've never met or don't plan to meet in the near future, it almost seems as though there is a huge confidence gap in that person. When people get older, [let's say 16 years old and up] it sort of becomes a time in which it's [i]healthy[/i] to get out and meet people. Nobody wants to be considered a hermit...

I realize that I'm starting to sound really insulting, so I'll stop. I think it's great when younger kids can say they have internet relationships especially when they're too young to date in real life; then that's the way to go. But other than that, I really don't see a reason. Not against it, just don't agree :)

P.S. I really didn't mean to offend anyone, relationships are very personal things and differ in all cases. Therefore, my opinions are strictly my own and there's no need to take them personally ^_^;[/color]

[Darkness]

[color=blue]BabyGirl, I couldn't have said it better myself!

I hadn't really thought about the age aspect. I don't think that the younger kids (pick an age) should get involved in this kind of stuff. It's really the reason the internet has become a bad cliche for meeting.[/color]

[BabyGirl]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Darkness [/i]
[B][color=blue]It really the reason the internet has become a bad cliche for meeting.[/color] [/B][/QUOTE]

[color=deeppink]Exactly. People fell in love before the internet ever existed [gasp!], and [i]that[/i] seemed to work out just fine.[/color]

[Sara]

[size=1]I don't suppose many people [i]plan[/i] to fall in love with someone they've met online.[/size]

[GinnyLyn]

People don't [i]plan[/i] to fall in love, period. (Unless they are really really weird--stalker types.) ^^;

Love, like, friendship, whathaveyou--it all happens when it happens. I have to agree with the physical aspect, though--if you [i]never[/i] meet, then there really is no point, is there?

I have yet to meet any really bad liars or sexual predators myself--but that is because I use common sense. I only talk to people I feel comfortable talking to (anotherwords, people I met here). And I always watch just how much personal info gets out.

[ChibiV]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by GinnyLyn [/i]
[B]People don't [i]plan[/i] to fall in love, period. (Unless they are really really weird--stalker types.) ^^;

Love, like, friendship, whathaveyou--it all happens when it happens. I have to agree with the physical aspect, though--if you [i]never[/i] meet, then there really is no point, is there?
[/B][/QUOTE]

yup yup...it just happens, and you can't prepare for it. :D

[Lady Macaiodh]

[color=darkblue]I'm not opposed to it... but it's kind of pointless for young people who live far away, & have no chance of meeting for years to come. If I were dating someone online, & had to wait awhile to meet them, we would have to make the agreement that we could see other people in the meantime if we so chose to. There's no point in putting your life on hold.

I guess if two people were completely in love, that'd be a little different... but I'm skeptical.[/color]

[Red]

[b][size=1]*Decides to post once again.*

Of all the relationships I've ever been in, this one means the most to me. I never thought I'd be 'dating' someone online, but now that I am; I'm glad.

It's really hard for me to explain, but it's just the way it is. Her being so far away is both good and bad. Good because it's just a new experience, and bad because I'm not able to hold her in my arms and tell her I love her in person.

My feelings for her are completely and utterly real. I can honestly say that I'm in love with her; and that's a big word for me to use. The internet is like having a wall between me and her.. and we just shout over it until it can be broken down.

To me, it's just something someone has to experience before they can really say anything about it. I didn't expect to suddenly fall for someone over the internet, but I did, and I have no regrets following that. I might have said the same thing as some others here at the time, but now, I'm posting this argument.

To put it this way : It's as real as it could ever be.

Excuse my rant, it's 5am and I'm rather tired. ^_^[/b][/size]

[GinnyLyn]

Yes, what was that one story about the two lovers who spoke to each other through a hole in the wall? Meh, does anyone know what I am talking about?

Anyways, at the risk of sounding sappy (too late, ha!), love can overcome all barriers, so if it is meant to be, then it will happen, online relationship or not.

[James]

[color=#808080]I personally have no feeling about actual e-dating services; I don't think they are any different to an ad in a newspaper.

In fact, they're probably better. Because ads in papers always seem to be limited by a couple of sentences or something. At least on the Internet, people can have full profiles/images, etc.

So, that's something which people may find more useful.

As far as actually meeting someone who you've known online...I think it's fine, IF you are careful. In other words, it has to be someone you've known for a while and preferably someone you've already spoken to (on the phone or smoething). But really, it's no different to a blind date or dating services through the newspaper, is it? In every case, you don't [i]really[/i] know the person at all. And you may not even have seen them before. So at least the Internet allows for chatting and images or something, you know?

At the end of the day, I think the Internet is just another communication tool. If you want to use it deliberately to find a date, then good luck! It [i]may[/i] very well be better than a newspaper or something because of the points I mentioned earlier. That's up to you.

And if you have someone that you want to meet...I mean, just look at all the Otaku members who've met in real life (via OtakuBoards). It can be done and it can be done safely, if you are careful. If more people from OB lived closer to me, I'd be happy to meet them! And generally I trust OB members because I know so many of you.

So yeah, I really am not against it. I don't think I'd specifically use the Internet to seek out a date...but I'm not adverse to meeting someone that I've known online. (I might meet Zidane when he comes to Australia, for instance -- we are going to drop "theOtaku.com" leaflets all over the city...ahem. ^_^;;)

EDIT: Oh and...I [i]assume[/i] that we're talking about people meeting (either soon after chatting or years after -- but still meeting). If you NEVER meet...then yes, I'd have to agree that there's no point. If you [i]can't[/i] meet for whatever reason (distance/money/etc), but you [i]plan[/i] to meet, then I think that's fine. It just depends on your situation really. But if you are ALWAYS going to keep it online...that seems a bit pointless to me.[/color]

[Wintermute]

I met up with someone I met on the internet once - we turned out to live in the same town. Well, it didn't go well, but that's just because we didn't really get on well in real life. She seemed harmless enough, but I did make sure my friends new where I was going, (not my family though, or they'd have stopped me)

I would probably do it again, but next time I'd be a littl emore certain we'd get on!

[Zanarkand Abes]

I heard a story about this one old lady who devorced her husband and move across the country to marry this guy she had never met in real life, but was dating over the internet. Me, I can't argue against E-Dating, as I had an "online girlfriend" about two years ago. We pretended to be in love and looked forward to talking together. She lived in Aledo I believe, which is close to Fort Worth, and we planned to meet at Six Flags Over Texas, but "broke up before we could. Know however, I do kinda agree with Babygirl, but think it can still be fun, so long as it is not too extreme or both people agree that it isn't going to be a serious relationship.

[MillieFan]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Blanko [/i]
[B]
I have to say.....it depends on the person i guess [/B][/QUOTE]

That's what I'd say. I'm not looking for anyone here LOL, but it can work out either way.

I really loved someone I had met at the Christian board I make many of my posts at, for almost all of last year and until February of this year when we broke up. At first he was a very nice person, very kind, more conservative than I was: but then his personality seemed to do a sharp nosedive the exact opposite way to where it was seriously frightening. He threatened to kill himself if I left him in order to manipulate me, became really judgmental, etc, etc. . .we broke up in February, and I hope he didn't kill himself, but I'll never know.:bawl:

Anyway, I learned somewhat of a lesson from that on how people manipulate others, debated it back and forth again with myself whether it would be OK to try it once again. I made my decision. . .and so far it's my second chance at a relationship and really good.

I would say that the thing to be most wary of is age and manipulation. If you're under 18 don't even think of beginning a relationship online, because you're bait for pedophiles. Once you're over 18, most of those particular creeps lose interest.

Regarding manipulation, if someone starts trying to buy your love with incredibly expensive gifts, shows little respect when it comes to differences between you, or especially makes implied or express threats-leave. Block their address if you must, do whatever you need to do, but leave.

[anubis_zoe2003]

im gald that i found this forum because i have a girlfreind but she always seems to be so shy, do any of you guys have any info on how i could make her happy?

[Zidargh]

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by James [/i]
[B][color=#808080]

So yeah, I really am not against it. I don't think I'd specifically use the Internet to seek out a date...but I'm not adverse to meeting someone that I've known online. (I might meet Zidane when he comes to Australia, for instance -- we are going to drop "theOtaku.com" leaflets all over the city...ahem. ^_^;;)

[/color] [/B][/QUOTE]

[size=1][color=darkblue] You've got that right Rockafella! (If someone knows what 'Rockafella' means, could you PM me please ^_^)

Ahem. Well I admit to the fact of Internet Relationships etc, well I was 12 at the time, and believe me, you are so naive at that age that you even get jealous if you haven't even met the person.

I am not against it when people meet after conversing on the internet, but as everyone has said through instincts, you [I]have[/I] to be sure you can trust the person. I know a person whom I have become great friends with in my side of the friendship over the internet, and well from the quote, you can tell who that is. ^_^; Of course there are others that I am beginning to converse with more over the internet, but he is one of the main people. So, on the side of friendship, I am not against it at all.

For a relationship, I don't really understand how we can say anything about it at all. In my opinion, it all depends on the first encounter which shows you how you feel about a person. As Elite has stated that the internet feels like a large wall between whomever a person is conversing with, I totally agree with this view. I've gone to bed at night quiet from deep thought as I feel isolated. To be honest, Otaku Boards has given me a sanctuary, and a place to turn to for advice.

So, in conclusion, I feel that you cannot completely decide until you've spoken over the phone or actually met someone. However, I feel I can trust members on here deeply. But these are just my views.[/color][/size]