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Dealing with it


KittyLynn
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[COLOR=deeppink]I can't deal with it..My hamster TJ, died. The cause of death unknown..*bawls*..I can't live without him. I know I know, just a hamster, but he was my life. I didn't know it but he was...And I miss holding him. I can't stand to see his cage empty or not being able to feel his soft fur...I can't do this. And I have turned to you guys.[/COLOR]
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I know what you mean, I had a dog that I grew up with, it had always been there. When I was 11, and he was 13, he had to be put down. He had arthritis and cancer, and he had developed a resistance to the painkillers, so he was in constant pain. I was inconsolable.

All I can suggest is getting another one. Or possibly something longer lived. I know that sounds a little callous, but it's from a detached viewpoint. Detachment often sounds similar to callousness.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by calumon_luver [/i]
[B][COLOR=deeppink]I know I know, just a hamster, but he was my life. I didn't know it but he was...[/COLOR][/B][/QUOTE]

I can't say much more than what I have already, but even if he was 'just a hamster', he still meant an awful lot to you, and it's always hard to have to deal with the loss of something you love so much, not matter how big or small.

It takes time to move on, to let go, but mourning a loss is never a bad thing. We shouldn't forget those we love, but try to remember more that he lived, and keep those memories in your mind rather than focussing on how he's no longer here.

One of the worst things about losing someone or something close to you is the regret- whether we could have said or done something more for them to make their life better. And the truth is that they would not have loved you any less for not doing it, and they have lived the best life that they could have done.

*hugs*
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*nuzzles up to her* Squeeka? *offers her a carrot*

I've been there and done that. It amazes me how people that have never had hamsters or gerbils think that it is no big deal when they die. It [i]is.[/i] I remember when I lost my first one. Bawled my heart out.

You can never find a replacement. But you can always find a new friend, my dear. That's how I learned to love my new ones. *hugs her*
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It isn't easy to get over...but...well, hmmm, how do I explain it? (Sorry, AIM's gone nutters on me, or I'd talk to you there.)

We would always get a new hamster or gerbil within the month. Mom could always tell how it upset me when I lost one. Mind, each one was [i]not[/i] a replacement, as I said, but an "add-on". A rodent that needed care as well. A reminder that life goes on, whether you're going with it or not.

For Stormy, Midnight, Midnight's children, Snowball, Mina, Tony, and Connie. And TJ. Fuzzies rule.
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by calumon_luver [/i]
[B][COLOR=deeppink]I can't get a new one. Replacing TJ is like replacing my best friend.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE]
You say that, but it's actually very easily done.
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[color=red][b]/me ignores åsshat.....


It's sad when pets die, but it's not the end of the world. I have had 2 dogs, 2 birds, and a fish (not just any fish, my first pet i had on my own. expesive as hell too.) die. I got through it ok, and so will you. It's how you remember the pet that counts. :)[/b][/color]
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[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by calumon_luver[/i]
[B][COLOR=deeppink]I can't deal with it..My hamster TJ, died. The cause of death unknown..*bawls*..[/COLOR][/B][/QUOTE][size=1]Well, at least you know he died. I had a hamster when I was young. He was getting sickly, I suppose, but he was still alive. I came home from school one day and he was no longer in his cage. My mom told me that my dad buried him or something like that... alive.

So, during many lonely and mentally dangerous nights, I can only wonder if he is still alive where ever he is. My dad could have at least let him die first.

Good times with him... pooping in my sister's pockets and all... heh. ^_~[/size]
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I had a couple rats a few years ago. Pogo and Twiggy (named after Manson members, since I'm a dork). Anyway, Twiggy was a little brown rat and she was always scared and sickly. She passed away pretty early on, and in a way I was glad she did... I can't imagine she was happy in her state.

The other one was Pogo, who was white with black spots. She looked like a little cow. Anyway, she lived quite a while. I did almost everything with her. She sat on my shoulder or my head and we sat at the computer, or we walked around the house. She was always right next to me when she was out of the cage. I even had her litter trained (don't ask me how, but she learned it).

One day I came home and she was just laying there. Sometimes I get this little fear that one of my pets is dead when they are fast asleep (which has happened with my ferret, Kit, a couple times now)... Well this time she actually was. Sitting there cold and motionless like a stone.

Needless to say I was pretty distraught over it. And this was only two years ago, I wasn't some little kid. I was 18 years old heh.

So yeah, I know how it effects anyone. Pogo meant as much to me as some people feel about their dogs or horses. You get over it. Sometimes I remember Pogo and think about how she was the greatest pet I've ever had, but you wind up sifting the bad stuff out and just remembering the funny stuff they did. Kit makes it a lot easier, since she's also pretty great herself.

So yeah, you'll be fine.
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[color=green]Aww...*huggles you tightly* No worries about it, even if it be hard. Losing a friend like that IS hard, I know. I've lost a bird(B.B.) and a fishie(Lucky) Really you should think about the good times, and not about death. Life is hard, and losing someone is just part of the hardships. Maybe you should get a new pet, as everyone else said, not as a replacement, but as an add-on. Just think of the happiness you can bring to another living thing!^^ I'm sure wherever T.J. is now, he's happy, and watching you lovingly!^^ Just remember that you can't stop death, so enjoy life while you can, and make every single moment you can wonderful and full of surprises and happiness!^^ Just enjoy what you can, and don't let the past follow you around forever. Focus on the future, and make in the bst future you can possibly have.[/color]
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Hamsters typically don't have very long lifespans by any means. They aren't very smart either, meaning they'll eat just about anything and go just about anywhere. (they are ingenious when it comes to escaping their cages though, quite possibly the one demise of all the ones I had) I had 3 generations of hamsters in my household, tillt he last one died and we didn't get anymore. One got lost, many have drowned when they escapes the cage and fell in the pool, some just die because hamsters have weak immune systems, yet they cannot transmit any diseases. They aren't cats or dogs that can be around decades at a time. Hamsters have like a 2 year life-span. I dunno how long we had the ones we did. Can't remember.

I'm not saying that he didn't mean anything to you, for he obviously did. But you can't put you whole being on something that you know won't be around as long as you live. Dogs, cats, other humans have indefinant life spans, although there is a limit (which kinda contradicts the meaning of indefinant, but yeah). You don't see 60 or 70 year old dogs and cats running aorund, but I think you get the point. It's much more than a rodent. You know he/she will die one day, you just don't know when. Hamsters can be from the time you get themto 2 or 3 years down the road that they could die. Really anything is like that, but you know Hamsters won't live much passed that if they do make it that far. I've had one of my cats here for about 13 years (I had one before that for 12 years). I know she doesn't have much time left. I love her to death and I spend as much time as I can with her, but I understand her time is near and that I will accept it when it happens. I may cry for a day or two, but it won't control my life. The only thing you can do is just remember them. They'll always be with you. I still remember my old cat, Buttercup. She would talk to us everyday when we got home. She wouldn't be hungry or anything, she'd just say hi, how are you. And we'd say hi back lol. It was the cutest thing. It'll be ok though. I still love my cat and I will always remember her. Thats all that really matters.
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[color=darkblue]You know... sometimes I think people don't understand how upsetting it is when a pet dies.

I really understand what you're going through, though. I recently told several people close to me that when my dog, Czar, dies, I don't know how I will be able to deal with it. I was there when he was born, & since he has physical & mental problems, I have basically been his mother. He even recently had surgery because he was almost completely blind. It gave me so much joy when he came out of surgery & could finally see me clearly for the first time.

I don't know... a lot of people think that getting so attached to pets is pointless or stupid... but I will never forget any of my dogs or the way they were always there for me, even without knowing it. I feel my life has been enriched by their love, no matter how simple it may seem to others.

But don't forget that animals are very willing to love. Whatever pet you have next will surely mean as much to you, even if it's in a different way. :)[/color]
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AWWWWWWWWWWWW! *wants to huggle him*

Well, even dog and cat people tend to look down on rodent people--it happened to me. At first, they sympathized over my loss, but when they found out I was upset over a gerbil, the most common comment was:
"You're upset over a [i]gerbil?![/i]"
Just because gerbils and hamsters only last 2 or 3 years, as opposed to 7 to 10 for the bigger critters.

So don't let anyone dub TJ's passing down on you, Kayla. But, again, don't be afraid to make new hamster (or gerbil) friends. ^_^

*huggles her own dog, Fred*
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[COLOR=deeppink]Aww. ::hugs everyone:: Thank you. I think the best thing is to get another one and that will take my mind off him. But I will never forget him. I have a new for the new one as well, Peek-A-Boo. Its corny but I like it.

I made a memorial for TJ with all his stuff in it. And from now on when people ask me what my hammy's name was I'm going to say Peek, because TJ wasn't a hamster. He was my best friend.


I love you TJ.[/COLOR]
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I used to keep birds. Japanese White-Eyes. Pretty little things. We let Jupiter go, he was obviously captured, not born in captivity, and he was nearly killing himself trying to get out. Mercury died though, quite an elaborate and nasty death. That shook me up quite badly.
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