Darkness Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 This has been bugging me alot lately. I am the "nice guy" and it seems like I've been coming up pretty short. Before I got involved in the long relationship I had, I got way more "attention" than I do now. I think I'm giving off some kind of safe vibe or something. I'm not used to this at all. There is something that girls like about a guy with an edge, and right now mine is dull. Heck, I thought that learning how to please a woman better emotionally would add to my worth. Anyways, I've decided to get everyone else's opinion. Do you believe the nice guys finish last? Why or why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 Pretty much. It seems to work that way. Although you can't expect to not come up short lol. I dunno if you expect women all over you or something, but things don't work that way. Women feel like they can be friends with guys who are nice. I mean, it's like saying women can't have male friends without being attracted to them and liking them. You just happen to be that friend. Sorry to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heaven's Cloud Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 [color=indigo]yep...what do you expect, I am going to approach a women, make them laugh, and enjoy myself...I am going to be confident, no matter who I am with. The "nice guy" is going to sit around pinning over ways to impress his love (hey numnuts! try saying hello!) Don't get me wrong, I'm not a horrible guy, I just don't consider myself nice: I drink, I've done drugs, I can be mean spirited every now and again...[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Posted April 18, 2003 Author Share Posted April 18, 2003 Well, I don't expect every girl to be all over me, but (at the risk of sounding cocky) I'm not too hard to look at. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to having "friends" but it's been getting a little on the frustrating side as of late. This is not a rut I want to fall into. Oh, and I'm not the shy type. Just in case you were wondering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liamc2 Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 Yes, yes we do. Mostly because I'm lazy and I couldn't be bothered training for track and field. But that's the wrong answer isn't it? ^___^; ~~ Seriously, if you're a nice guy and you seem to always 'come up short' don't let it kill you. Honestly, if you're intentions are good you will find someone that will be very special to you. Sometimes you really need to question a 'nice' guys motives...:rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Posted April 18, 2003 Share Posted April 18, 2003 Usually... Cept for lucky breaks. Since the non-nice guy is going to take the shortcuts and cheat-pimp his way to the top :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senor Ding Dong Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 Usually,people call me nice(.....),but yet, even though i (may be)nice,The Jocks/Popular kids can't go without a girlfreind.. ANd, even some of the people in the middle have girls. Oh well, i'll just take my useles time. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
future girl Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 yeah they do, the nice guy will have the girl at the very VERY VERY end, when the girl wants to settle down and feel safe. nice guys, they come last, when you don't want to have anymore fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mei Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 [color=green] They may finish last, but in the end they won't be the one's getting the girl.^.~ Believe me, I'd much rather prefer a nice guy over a jerk or "bad boy."(though I would enjoy a guy with some "bad" in him.>.>) I guess nice guys sometimes finish last, but it's better to finish last than to lose it all afterwards.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 [b][size=1]To be perfectly honest with you; if you have that idea jammed in your head all the time, you're always gonna end up at the bottom. Change your attitude and realise that every once in a while, life really sucks, and although it may seem like you're always ending up on the bottom, there are plenty of others going through the same thing. Nice or not.[/b][/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RicoTranzrig Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 [COLOR=darkblue]The way I see it, the "nice guy" finishes last only because he's always nice. While that's not really a bad thing, it's good to take some risks and try new things, keeping a good balance.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will2x Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 look, its like this. girls like guys who make them laugh and show them a great time. so it wouldnt hurt to be funny play with them. nice guys are the ones who help them overcome problems and get throught sad times that they would get through anyway without help. thats what 'friends' are. so a nice guys is a friend and friends dont get much play. an ideal guy would be funny and able to help in hard times. but then again you may not get much play because you arent attractive. i dont know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 [color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] In society, to me, it seems the best people are last. Look at the major companies and such in our basic economy. They're mostly big-budget, hard-hitting groups of people with large executives. Or maybe that's a bad example, but it gets its point across. Nice and good people seem to always be last to me. I do consider myself a very nice and good person. And I barely have any friends; I'm extrememly quiet. I'm just not really given as much attention as the "other people" at my school. But that doesn't matter. So yes, in some cases, last guys do finish last. But in all eventualities, they do get ahead eventually. So eventually I and other nice people will find something for their ways in life. I just feel like a better person by the way I am, anyways. Eh.[/color][/size][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vegitto4 Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 I'm always the "brother", or the "best friend". Which can get you advantages sometimes, but usually it's just that. Never anything more. I can understand girls liking confidence;however, that confidence tends to turn into ,for lack of a better term, *******-ness. it kinda bugs me, when i'm looking for a girlfriend, and i have all these gorgeous friends, that are only frieds. They tend to have boyfriends, and thats what they come to me about. I'm also the shrink among my friends you see. I tend to be able to solve alot of their problems, or help them at least. Right now though, it really stinks. I'm looking for a steady girlfriend, and I can't get one. My ex is all over me, and thats pissing me off. I'm trying for this senior that i've known for 3 years, and it's probably not gonna pay off, because she likes being single. I can understand that though. other than that, I'm all alone, and on my own. Heh heh, that rhymed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charles Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 There's a difference between being the 'nice' guy and the 'boring' guy. You don't have to be both; it's possible to find a medium between the two. Females care about security, emotions, and dependability. So, keep that and mind, while getting your edge back at the same time. Women in their late teens and early twenties usually aren't looking for an end all relationship destined for marriage; they want to have fun. Be fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 You also have to draw the line between the "nice guy" and the "therapist." Nice is fine, but there is an extent to it... and once you pass that line into total friend territory (especially the therapist type, where you're mostly there to help them feel better about things), there isn't much of a chance to get back very often. If the person already is going out with you, and you get into that state -- things kind of end up like they are now for you (the original poster). Although it still really all depends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delian Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 Nice doesn't always finish last. A girl will always be attracted to the guy that shows confidence and has a little edge. Someone who can make her laugh and will show her a good time. Nice doesn't always have to be boring. I personally would rather be with someone with the above qualities than with somebody who is going to treat me like **** and doesn't make an effort. That is my definition of bad. In the end, bad or not...if a girl sees you as a friend and nothing more, then there's nothing you can do about it. The chemistry might just not be there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hikaru Ichijyo Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 Well I personally agree with you nice guys very seldomly win. Half the time we end up having our intentions back firing on us, or have them misinterperted. I'd still like to think though that somewhere down the line nice guys will get rewared. Though sadly it seems most (Not all) women are looking for someone that has an edge or suped up sex drive, perhaps the age of chivarly is dead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesus Chicken Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 How the hell do you do anything else then? For a relationship, do you have to get in there quickly or something? All the nice guys, perhaps you do win, but maybe it's a moral victory. IF you need something to help, go watch the first season of ED. Damn cool show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wintermute Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 I don't think nice guys ALWAYS finish last, although it depends just how nice. Playing the therapist may well bump you down to last place. You'll be popular, but not in that way. A good friend of mine is, well, very chivalrous. That's really the only way of putting it. As in, if he weren't a total pacifist, it's out with the shiny armour. I've known him 6 years and I still suspect he may be playing us all along sometimes. It certainly seems to work for him! (Although I'm certain that's a welcome by-product, and not why he does it) I'm not as nice as him, in that respect, but I always try to take an interest and be friendly, and so on and so forth, and I wouldn't say I'm coming in last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vegitto4 Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 Well, i agree, playing the therapist only does so much. Recently,;however, I've been showing my"gentleman" side a little bit more, or as Winter put it, the chivalry. It only goes so far where I live. From what I've heard, it's attractive. What bothers me, is that the"confident" guys seem to be "winning" alot more..... Winning as in dating the girl, not "scoring" . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kent Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 Well I am also "the nice guy." Only I might be a good example for you to take a note from, you see... The woman you are aiming for has alot to do with it... if your going for the shallow rich girl... there is a good chance you woulnt see anything good happen... it is true at times, nice guys do finish last. However, I was never anything besides the nice guy through out all of middle and high school. Yet, right after I got out of high school, I started getting dates. Not just plain old dates, but dates with hot girls, and I mean that. It was something else, and I will never forget this; a girl I was with said she wanted a good guy and not the same old guys from highschool. She didnt want a frat boy or a kid, she wanted an honest nice guy. So that was just one of the hints I got, which told me nice guys dont always finish last. I found out as time went on over the 2 years following highschool graduation, that there are more girls like that than you think. Eventually after dating... 4 or so girls, I found a girl that was perfect for me and a long term relationship followed. So the moral of this story is that... If you are the nice guy in highschool or where ever, keep your chin up, because you will be finishing first in the years to come. I know its hard to wait, but just you watch... you will be suprised just how level headed some of those girls become once they are out of their enclosed little world of a grade school social hier-archy. Good luck and remember, keep your chin up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 It depends on how you approach the girl most of the time. It's all in the smile and the tone of voice. That, most often, determines how she reads your intentions. How she reacts to the intentions she perceives, on the other hand, varies from person to person. Most of the girls I hangout with now are looking for a good guy. They're looking or the kind of guy that'll open doors for them and that kind of thing. Of course, these are qualities and habits I don't have or practice often, but I'm not out to date most of the girls I hang out with. I'm a stereotypical guy-friend. And about 95% of the time, the guy-friend is the most important, non-related man in a girl's life. They are the ultimate human counselor many times. Why that is, I have know idea. -Justin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wintermute Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 It is an unfortunate thing that IN high school, attractive girls seem to go for the Jocks, but it certainly seems to be a temporary thing. Theres a guy at my school who is a serious Jock. I hate him. A lot of people do. More people than don't, actually. When it comes to first approaches, he's popular with girls. When they get to know him, he most certainly is not. Now many of the jocks think I'm very weird and a little geeky. (And they're probably right, I've been to more LANs this year than parties) but this guy would certainly not believe that I've had longer relationships than him, though he may have been out with more people. It's like quality, or quantity? I know what I choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syn Posted April 19, 2003 Share Posted April 19, 2003 I voted yes, im a nice guy and im always last u.u; heh, i'll get over it, people today seem to think you have to be all bad and stuff to be popular, its just dumb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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