Vegitto4 Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 Well, Justin seemed to hit it right on the head. I noticed that most girls, in there Junior year, and barly starting to realize that what they are looking for ina guy is changing. They are graduating in a year, and are wanting a long term relationship....some of the time. It's really confusing down here. One second they like you, the next, they are in love with the biggest jerk around. I hate the highschool social system....it's worse than jail. (metaphorically speaking) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Posted April 20, 2003 Author Share Posted April 20, 2003 Well in high school almost everything is superficial. I was a totally different person back then; I had only two things on my mind. One was education (i had a 4.0) and the other was getting "play". And I was good at what I did. But when I came to college, I grew up alot. Change is good. Here is the best way I can word it out: Nice guys do finish last, but they have a very good finish. People eventually catch on to the playboy, and then realize what the nice guy has to offer. In the end, guess who gets the girl. Forgive me, I forgot who said it, but I also agree with the idea that Mr. nice guy just has to interesting and confident to compete. It's that "edge" I mentioned before. Oh yeah, in case anyone's wondering, let's just say this nice guy did pretty good for himself this weekend. Sometimes all you need is a small reminder of your abilities... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathKnight Posted April 20, 2003 Share Posted April 20, 2003 [color=crimson]It depends on the situation. Generally, they might finish last, but after the race somehow end up ahead. I'm not a nice person at all, I suppose- Blunt, opinonated, etc.; yet I seem to end up last alot too, haha. So I dont think that being nice dooms you to consistantly be last. Thats just being stereotypically retarded.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoshi Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 I think it only seems like nice guys finish last because in the first half of the race aggressiveness can compensate (somewhat) for incompetence or inability. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 [color=darkred]Actually, I thought about this a while ago. For some reason, most girls [Going from an impersonal view here.] do seem to gravitate towards the 'bad' guys. There will always be the good one there, waiting, as friends or whatever. And they aren't...you know...something 'mysterious'. Heh. Every girls seems to want to 'tame' the 'bay boys', subconciously or not. The nice ones are there, and ready to offer support when something goes wrong.Having a nice guy is great, having a nice guy you reformed is better. At least, that's what I came up with. I guess it's just a matter of taste or something. A lot of girls love the nice guys, but people can't see it, or something. Heh.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbar Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 I guess I'm kind of a nice guy. I'm rather hesistant to take the title due to the overwhelming achievements of THE nice guy in my school, Liam. Despite my sarcastic comments and general mean-spiritedness, there's a sliver of 'nice' in me.....somewhere. Sure, nice guys might usually finish last in the high-school dating scene, but they win in life. I believe that no relationship is better than a shallow one (if only I would listen to my own advice). I prefer a girl-friend to a girlfriend anyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall Posted April 22, 2003 Share Posted April 22, 2003 Eh. Well then. Being a nice guy doesn't seem all that bad.. I've been pretty much the nice guy with girls. And it doesn't matter how much I try to change because I see how much the 'cool dudes' get along, I'm still the nice guy. Hmm.. Just wait. I've been trying to wait, and bet you any money I'll get something worth it all. ..I say be yourself and take anything that jumps out at you. And wait. :drunk: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Posted April 23, 2003 Author Share Posted April 23, 2003 Yeah, this is all well and good, but I'd like to see some more of our lovely ladies speaking on the question. [color=blue]Girls, what do or don't you like about the nice guys?[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 I agree with Pikelets (aka Katta, aka Asphy). I think she hit it right there. I've not had much of a problem. I'm a nice guy I'd say... but when you get to a certain point in your life (which could be at any time depending on the person), you know how far you should go. Being too nice, like I said, goes into friend-only territory and you'll have a freaking hard time getting out of it. I seem to benefit from other qualities I have... the main one being that people seem to have an extremely hard time reading any of my emotions (the "mysterious" side I guess), plus I have enough of a dark side that I get by in that sense as well. The key is balance, as with anything else. Karma. -------------- Also, in some sort of response to something else going on here... Justin brought it up I believe. After a while, girls generally find out that the mysterious, rugged ******* type isn't working. Some will always like this type, and sure... why shouldn't they? However, I think for most girls this is a stage. Once they get past this stage, they realize what's really important in their lives... And they want guys they can have something meaningful with. Whether or not it will be a so-called "nice guy" who knows. I find most "nice guys" are nothing more than a shell as it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 [color=darkblue]From what I've seen, yes. Yes, they do. For the age range around here, anyway. Girls have a tendency to go for jerks. Don't ask me why. I don't even know why I have done it in the past. I guess, in my case, that it is so easy for me to dominate guys, that when I find one who can dominate [i]me[/i] it's a big turn on. But, god, that is so stupid, considering that I hate being told what to do. I just don't understand it! Girls. :rolleyes: As for other girls out there, I have no idea why. And a girl will usually have to get dogged really badly before she can appreciate a nice guy. That's where I am right now. As God is my witness, I will never take niceness for granted again! So the good news is, girls will grow up, guys will grow up, and the nice ones will come out on top. That I guarantee. And Ryan, you say you haven't been getting action. Hello, you're married to me. I mean, jeez. People want to [i]be[/i] you! lol[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkadyz Posted April 23, 2003 Share Posted April 23, 2003 Well i was more of a nice guy in HS...Now im more of an adaptive nice guy :D In that i regulate the niceness depending on the girl...Some like a total sweetheart thats always nice to them...Others want someone strong willed that wont back down for a second ;) So i try to stay flexible and read women to a point(ive yet to perfect it...Maybe one day...maybe... :naughty: ) But yeah as the maturity levels of the women you want to date goes up they seem to take notice of the nice guy more ;) So just hang in there guys...It ill come. Honest :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxie Faye Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 [color=#9933ff]Am I the only girl who doesn't want a bad boy? Is there anything wrong with having a relationship in High School or Middle School that doesn't involve sex? Am I the only girl in the world who actually does NOT believe in pre-martial sex?!?!?!?!?!?!? -_- Great. I'm the only one. I feel so alone. For me, the "nice guy" means your best guy friend that you can consult when you break up with your boyfriend because he wasn't what you thought he was and because he's a total jerk. That's what I nice guy for me is. I think, though, Darkness' is asking about what I like(or don't like) about MY own definition of a gentleman, which is the same thing as everyone else's definition of a nice guy. lol. I like everything about a gentleman. ^_^; It's nicer to have him as a boyfriend because you know he isn't going out with you because his friend dared him to date the ugliest girl, know that you aren't being dated because he only likes your looks, won't make you feel bad, won't put you down, and know just what to do when you get a case of the blues. In my personal opinion, I don't think you can put girls into a category where the majority of us go for one type of guy. I think, instead, certain types of girls go for certain types of guys. Not being stereotypical here, but rather, from my experience (which is limited, so forgive me if I'm wrong, which I probably am. V_V), I think that if you're popular or want to fit in with everyone, you'll probably want a bad boy in the beginning (until you wise up), and if you're the shy girl in the back of the class who still wears sweater sets, then you'll probably be wise and choose the gentleman. I've also learned, or perceived that the old stereotype of guys, where they have to act a certain way (i.e.: open the door for you, always buy you chocolates, and get you a huge thing of roses on Valentines' Day) is pretty much going out of style. Things are more casual today, I think, where relationships don?t have to be one certain way. However, I think I'm the only person left who wants the true romantic, which isn't bad, just means more trouble finding a guy. XD I'm just really, really, REEALLY weird, and I like a romantic guy. O___o[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun Posted April 24, 2003 Share Posted April 24, 2003 I've always been thay guy you can go to when you need to talk. I'd consider myself a pretty nice guy. Sure I got a mean streak, but who doesn't? I've never been involved in a "real" relationship you could say. Not that I care, mind you. I'd rather be that good friend that everyone remembers. It pays off, really. I mean, sure, I'd date someone, but it isn't like I'm looking. If the oppurtunity arrises, I'll take it if I can. I don't consider myself as finishing last, either. I've got a good job, a nice truck, lots of nice things, and working on 2 degrees in college. I'd not call that finishing last. But most of all, I got great friends. You all know who you are! How can one say they've finished last when they have friends? BTW, Roxie, I am one of those guys! LOL. I believe in sex after marraige, and playing it nice, and all that good traditional stuff! Surely I'm not the only guy like that out there!:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wintermute Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 In context of the romantic guy that MistressRoxie mentioned, I think I'd have to call myself a poor romantic, in that I certainly would like to be able to buy chocolates and roses and such, I can't afford to! Luckily the only time it's really mattered (In that they were someone I really totally cared about) she knew that, and didn't want any. I'm sure she would have appreciated them, but wasn't upset that they weren't coming! In fact she often ended up buying me things... funny the way things work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkness Posted April 29, 2003 Author Share Posted April 29, 2003 Yeah, Wintermute, I had that same problem once. Not to say that I'm not poor now :),but eventually you find ways to be a romantic with having to spend that much cash. I can't wait till I finish my degree so that I can have some money to shower my girl (position is open ladies!) with gifts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 [spoiler]I have no comment, Master Thacker.[/spoiler] Have faith, MistressRoxie! I'm not in it for the sex, either. In fact, I'm still *gasp!* a virgin, so HA on all you hormone crazed boys! *giggles kindly* I too welcome the gentlemanly type. I know several, in fact, that can be considered nice guys, but they are well off. One is so sure of himself that there's no room to dislike him (or sway his opinions). As long as nice doesn't equal some wimp without a backbone, then it's all good. There's only so much welcome matting one can take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwai Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 In my circle of friends, I'm considered a pacifist and a well-rounded nice guy who is usually indifferent to all the commotion and conflict goin around him. However, according to the eyes of people who don't know me that well, I'm supposedly some demon incarnate who will tear out their heart in a blink -_-. I guess that happened becuz of my martial arts thingy... I guess I consider myself to be a nice guy, though I kinda am indifferent and occasionally insensitive to the finer points. But I still get consulted from my friends about what to do when they screw up on something, or they need a bit of help and comfort. All in all, I am NOT a wimp, but I can take a lot of insults and hate becuz I've learned to grow up, ignore them, and continue on. I somehow tend to think in a paternal fashion, so getting insulted seems kinda cute to me, and really doesn't bother me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 OK, here's a twist on the original question, brought up by Roxie's post--do nice [i]gals[/i] finish last? I know that not all guys are hormone-y, but really now--every time some guy flirts with me and I show that I'm not interested in making the bed with him, he drops me faster than a SARS infested face mask. Even the "right guys" got mad when I wouldn't do it after a year of being together, and dumped me. So what's the deal? Pre-marital sex is evil? Virgins scare guys off? [i]Do[/i] nice gals finish last? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 In answer to the original question Yes I do believe they do. I should know. You get all good with the girl and then she starts to like the big "pimp". I HATE it! I spend countless hours trying to "woo" a girl then soem "popular guy" comes and takes her! In the past week TWICE! I AM SO MAD! As you can tell by the all CAPS! But Anyway Ginny I do believe that Pre-marital sex is bad not evil. I see it as if you do get a baby and your not married you usually get married even though you don;t really "like" each other any more. No virgins do not scre guys off. At least not "nice guys". I don't know I am a guy but I would have to guess maybe because of the same problem I have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 I've had premarital sex, and personally I don't have a problem with it (otherwise, I'd hate my self... heh). However, if someone believes that they shouldn't, I totally respect that. That's something I personally could never have done, and I think it takes a lot of willpower and guts to keep yourself away from something that people and society in general are pushing in your face on a constant basis. I've never pushed sex with anyone honestly, if something happens... it happens. Either you both want to, or you just don't do it. I'd have to say that if those guys were truly "nice guys" they would have been accepting of your feelings and beliefs. From reading posts of yours in the past, I'd have to guess this is something you are rather adamant about it. If they can't respect that, perhaps they were not truly worth the time in the first place and you're better off. Sex is a good thing (how surprising lol), but in my mind, it's not ever the focal point of a relationship unless other aspects of it are massively screwed up in some form. So yeah, like I just said, if that's the reason why you'd break up... it wasn't worth it in the first place. There's no reason to compromise your integrity. Edit - Added in a bit more details heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted April 29, 2003 Share Posted April 29, 2003 To be honest (and if it makes you feel any better), the guys that strut around boasting about how many women they have been with instantly make me sick and want to avoid them. It shows a callous attitude toward females. But a guy cannot be without spine or self-confidence. Without being able to speak up and show that you think you can be wonderful, you're gonna radiate your negative view on yourself to others around you (make sense?). Sometimes I think that is my problem. Thank you for instilling some hope into this nice gal. May I someday find someone that shares my views. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwai Posted April 30, 2003 Share Posted April 30, 2003 Lol I've been brought up in a different fashion by my parents, and I have a bit of a phobia around girls, but from what I see goign around in my school, I don't think nice girls finish last. Guys with enough sense(there are many actually) usually go for the nice girls instead of the ones that act slutty. But as there are sl*ts among girls, there are pimps among guys, and there are the nice ones in both genders. I personally believe neither of them finishes last, and it all comes down to the situation. And to GinnyLin, I don't think that the guys you went out with were really 'nice guys' as Azazel said. I know some guyswho haven't gone to bed after 2 or 3 yrs. of going out with one girl, and they seem to be fine with it. I guess its kinda like slow and steady wins the race. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted April 30, 2003 Share Posted April 30, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by MistressRoxie [/i] [B][color=#9933ff]Am I the only girl who doesn't want a bad boy? Is there anything wrong with having a relationship in High School or Middle School that doesn't involve sex? Am I the only girl in the world who actually does NOT believe in pre-martial sex?!?!?!?!?!?!? -_- Great. I'm the only one. I feel so alone. For me, the "nice guy" means your best guy friend that you can consult when you break up with your boyfriend because he wasn't what you thought he was and because he's a total jerk. That's what I nice guy for me is. I think, though, Darkness' is asking about what I like(or don't like) about MY own definition of a gentleman, which is the same thing as everyone else's definition of a nice guy. lol. I like everything about a gentleman. ^_^; It's nicer to have him as a boyfriend because you know he isn't going out with you because his friend dared him to date the ugliest girl, know that you aren't being dated because he only likes your looks, won't make you feel bad, won't put you down, and know just what to do when you get a case of the blues. In my personal opinion, I don't think you can put girls into a category where the majority of us go for one type of guy. I think, instead, certain types of girls go for certain types of guys. Not being stereotypical here, but rather, from my experience (which is limited, so forgive me if I'm wrong, which I probably am. V_V), I think that if you're popular or want to fit in with everyone, you'll probably want a bad boy in the beginning (until you wise up), and if you're the shy girl in the back of the class who still wears sweater sets, then you'll probably be wise and choose the gentleman. I've also learned, or perceived that the old stereotype of guys, where they have to act a certain way (i.e.: open the door for you, always buy you chocolates, and get you a huge thing of roses on Valentines' Day) is pretty much going out of style. Things are more casual today, I think, where relationships don?t have to be one certain way. However, I think I'm the only person left who wants the true romantic, which isn't bad, just means more trouble finding a guy. XD I'm just really, really, REEALLY weird, and I like a romantic guy. O___o[/color] [/B][/QUOTE] hey, i totally agree with you, I always thought i was alone on thinking this.....:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxie Faye Posted April 30, 2003 Share Posted April 30, 2003 [color=#9933ff]THANK YOU! I am so glad I'm not the only person who's "old fashioned" and doesn't believe in pre-marital sex. I think it's the same thing with both nice guys and girls. I think a true gentleman will not be turned off by virginity. Afterall, if he was, then he isn't a getleman/nice guy, now is he? ;)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WW2 Posted April 30, 2003 Share Posted April 30, 2003 :nervous: I like to consider my self a "gentleman", I'm kind, considerate, and don't meddle in other peoples affairs. So why should I have to finish last!:flaming: Maybe I'm too nice.:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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