Writing Reik.

[Red]

[b][size=1]This is something I wrote off the top of my head, right now. It's not exactly how I planned (nothing ever does turn out that way), but I think it's okay. It is, of course, just a very short beginning, but I'm working on improving/expanding it. Any comments would be appreciated.[/b][/size]


In the near future, a boy named Reik was the first human to be merged with a machine by mind. However locked in he might seem, his mind is totally free to do what it wishes. Whilst it does this, a company known as Proto-E feed off the power of a human brain, something which can do calculations no computer can ever achieve.

Reik danced happily within the land of blue. His hands swept through the air slowly, making strange light shapes in the octarine bathed sky. He was a small boy, dressed only in a pair of grey shorts, with a matching hooded sweatshirt. Yet, the land seemed so colourful around Reik. Spark's flew from his fingernails, tinting the swaying grass orange for a brief moment in time.

Reik stopped and plucked an apple from a side pocket on his sweatshirt. Slowly his feet began to raise from the floor, and he lay back in the comfort of the breeze, chewing slowly on the perfectly ripened, yet artificial apple. For everything was artificial in this world, but Reik knew of nothing else.

Outside Reik's own dimension, a balding man stood in a white coat, typing furiously onto a worn keyboard. He stopped for a moment, wiped the sweat from his brow, and glanced at the tube.

There was Reik, naked as the day he was born in a tube full of traslucent green fluid. It bubbled and flowed around his hair, causing it to wave as if it were out in a strong wind. Metal pins pierced through the flesh of most of his body, allowing the scientists to attach various instruments to the boy. A heavily bound group of wires hung out of the back of Reik's head, pulsing with bright blue light every few seconds. The man paused for a moment, before hitting the return key.

[i]Let's see what it does to the boy..[/i]

The scientist watched as the bundled wires pulsated more violently and frequently than before. Reik's tiny body writhed inside the tube; his limbs pounding against the thick glass.

Inside his world, Reik saw thick, black clouds swirling around a central point. He pondered briefly over what might be wrong, and closed his eyes to imagine the clouds away. A few seconds later, his eyes burst open, but the clouds were still there. Reik's feet began to settle on the floor as he started to try and run, but no matter how hard he tried the swirl's focal point was always above him.

Tears began to stream down his face as the thick smog engulfed him. He tried to scream and cry, but no sound came out. Instead, there was darkness, with only a slight whisper of noise to be heard. Reik tried to listen to the whispers as he lay on the black floor.

"We'll begin once he is asleep."

And it all went quiet.

[conpiracymonki]

[b][size=1]
You work on rest of story now! ^__^

And the 'orange' and 'land of blue' is OK. Because he tinted it orange, see?

Silly Ger, spotting mistakes in own work that aren't there... now..[/b]

..*goes to find out what octarine means*[/size]

[James]

[color=#808080]Wow, that's really fantastic, E.

You should start an RPG! Whee. ^_^

(lol, but seriously, it's very good. I'd like to read more) ^_^[/color]

[Mitch]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] Sounds like something that maybe I'd be inspired to write from watching [i]A.I.[/i]. *wink wink*

It's going good so far. The only thing I spotted were a few sentences that could use some work, and some basic grammar issues with possesives and things. But I'm not going to harp. Keep going. I shall read.[/color][/size][/font]

[Red]

[b][size=1]My idea actually came from Ghost in the Shell and listening to Roads by Portishead too many times, lol.

I'm half-way through a first chapter, so I'll post it up when I'm done. ^_^[/b][/size]