Writing Long time havent done this...

[Boo]

[B]Unearthed humanity[/B] [size=1](thanks for name Denny)[/size]

I feel alive
yet dieing
This feeling inside me,
I keep denying.

It kills me from within,
cant keep standing.
Cant give you the smile
you are demanding.

This feeling like an acid rain...
Or is it depression, is it pain,
is it bitter, is it vain,
is it thunder, is it shame?

What it is,
I dont know.
Im thinking about
let it go.

But I cant hold on,
cant keep standing.
Cant give the smile,
you are demanding.

But then it happend,
something strange.
My heart opened,
the world changed.

Water stream up,
instead of down.
My face becomes a smile
instead of a frown.

[Vicky]

Good poem. I like the words and all. Hay, do you want to see mine? you can rate them! There called; poem and poem of life.
Or cheak out my storys;The dragon king, The howler,death of my best friend and full moon fever. Plus there the mistory one call x-strange? Please look at them and rate them...

[Boo]

Thanks =)
BTW: (about ur poems) I know. I was going to read them right after I posted it and I wanted to start off with Poem of Life.

[Shinobi]

Well like i said on MSN, i think it is awsome! I really do love it, so how about those names? What a great way to make a come back ;).

::EDIT:: I see you used my second name suggestion ;).

::EDIT 2:: I am Denny by the way :p.

[Dragonballzman]

I like it. I like it alot. ^_^ The ending makes you try and look at the bright side. *sings the song at the end of Montry Python's Life of Brian XD*

[Boo]

glad you all liked it.
It took me a while to make (ask denny lol) but it appearentally turned out pwetty well =)

[b]edit:[/b] i changed "water fall" in the last stanza to "water" so it flows better.

[Sara]

[size=1]I like it. There are one or two errors, but I'm not sure if they're even just typos.

You've got a good rhythm, and nice rhymes.

[i]This feeling like an acid rain...
Or is it depression maybe pain,[/i] [color=red]Is it depression--is it pain[/color]

Though, this bit irks me. I like the rest of the stanza, but it feels like you'v got an extra syllable in there, and it's kind of awkward. Also, [i]is it[/i] instead of [i]maybe[/i] fits with the rest of the stanza--the repetition is good. If you weren't going for repetition there, ignore that.[/size]

[Boo]

I kinda did that in purpose cause first i had "Is it depression is it pain" but that wouldn't follow the 1st part of the stanza well... or... that's what I thought.
Thank you btw. *edits "maybe" to "is it"*

[Nomad]

cool poem D_A. its got rhyming that I get confused with (don't ask, alot of things confuse me) and it has.... *thinks hard* to me it's got that kind of depressing/confused feeling turning into a more bright/cheerful side of the poem.

[Boo]

What confused you? Oo;; oh well... Thanks for compliment anyways =)