Writing Fellow Journalists Wanted

[Shy]

[size=1]This is something I wrote for my school newspaper. It would be appreciated if you could read it over, comment, critique, etc.

[b]"Students Overcome a Devestating Disease"[/b] by Josh Trujllo

?Junior year I really started to lose it,? said Halley Boatman, senior, ?Last summer I decided to do something, and I told my family.?

Boatman, along with over 30 million Americans, suffers from clinical depression. Clinical depression is a serious and incredibly dangerous mental illness, which can devastate the lives of those it affects. There are several key symptoms which are typical of people who are suffering from depression. Experiencing a few of these symptoms for a short time does not necessarily mean that a person is depressed, but they are often good indicators that there is a problem. These warning signs are: sudden change in weight and sleeping patterns, loss of interest or pleasure in activities and sex drive, feelings of worthlessness, self-reproach or guilt, inability to think, and a desire to hurt or kill themselves.

Depression is extremely common among teenagers, since the stress and pressures of high school can be too demanding for some, and a nightmare for others. Seniors Halley Boatman and Brittany Belendez have struggled through most of their high school experience due to their individual battles with depression. Everyone has a different experience with depression, but most people end up having the similar problems as a result of their condition.

?I would get really depressed, and a cry a lot. I didn?t want to be here in this world,? said Boatman. ?Before, every little thing would set me off.?

Emotional instability is common for those who are depressed. This leads to mood swings and emotional outbursts.

?If someone makes me upset, I have to watch my mood. If I rage, go too quiet, or cry, [I know] something is wrong,? said Belendez. ?If someone would poke me in the back I would get enraged. I would start yelling at them.?

These sorts of problems can escalate, and end up ruining a person?s bonds with their loved ones.

?I had destroyed every good relationship in my life,? said Belendez.

The first step towards curing depression is identifying the problem. Some people tend to overlook their emotional problems, which can only make things worse. Boatman and Belendez managed to self-diagnose themselves with depression, and quickly tried to find a cure.

?I kept telling everyone that I was fine and one day I started yelling at my boyfriend for nothing, and he was crying?? said Belendez. ?I knew this was not normal.?

There are a number of different reasons for a person to be depressed. It is often a result of stress and anxiety, but in serious cases it is actually a complication of a chemical imbalance in the brain. The severity of the illness is what makes it so difficult to overcome. Doctors prescribe anti-depressant drugs to those suffering from extreme cases, but these are controversial in some circles. Chuck Rose, staff psychologist, has had plenty of past experience in treating depression, and does not fail to emphasize the importance of medication.

?Medications that work on the neurotransmitter level are key,? said Rose. As with any medication, there might be some dangerous side effects to using the drugs. Because of this reason Rose always refers his patients for a physical.

Traditional therapy and counseling can be helpful for those who suffer from all varying degrees of the illness. Treating the disease can be very expensive, since medicine and doctors do not come cheap. Support from family and friends is extremely important to a person?s recovery.

?My friends are a lot more supportive and considerate of mood changes, and confront me if I get too down,? said Belendez.

Both of the girls have tried all of the conventional methods to curing their problem, both getting mixed results.

?I take Lexapro (an anti-depressant) everyday, and see a psychologist once a week,? said Boatman. ?The medicine is what really helps me through [the depression.]?

On average, 80 percent of depressed individuals make a full recovery, but only if they know that they have a problem and how to treat it. Being willing to accept their own problem is the first thing that someone must do to conquer depression. While it is not always easy to return to a normal life, it is more than worth the sacrifices.

-Shy[/size]

[Mitch]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] Way too many facts. That's what graphics are for. I found that I knew most of the facts you said about depression anyways, so I had to force myself to read through some of the more boring parts of it.

And mainly, also, you aren't exactly really telling the story of this person's depression. There isn't even an anecdote I can pick out of this story, and there really isn't much that I found interesting as a reader. Beh.

Just ignore me.[/color][/size][/font]

[Sara]

[size=1]Mitch, I disagree.

Newspaper articles [i]are[/i] facts. They present facts. That's what they are for. Saying that it has too many facts is like saying water is too wet, or something.

You also have to write to the lowest common denominator. Assume people don't have a clue as to what you're talking about. Whether or not [i]you[/i] were familiar with the facts of depression or not is not an issue.

[i]And mainly, also, you aren't exactly really telling the story of this person's depression.[/i]

Exactly. It's an informative article that happens to use direct quotes to reinforce what it is presenting.

[b]And, Shy--[/b] You know the drill, right?

Experiencing a few of these symptoms for a short time does not necessarily mean that a person is depressed, but they [strike]are often good indicators that [/strike] [color=red]May indicate that/ are often good indicators as to whether[/color]there is a problem. These warning signs [strike]are[/strike] [color=red]include[/color]: sudden change in weight and sleeping patterns.

Depression is extremely common among teenagers, [strike]since[/strike] [color=red]perhaps because[/color] the stress and pressures of high school [strike]can be[/strike] [color=red]"can be" doesn't fit with the other thing I changed, heh. Maybe just [i]are[/i][/color] too demanding for [strike]some[/strike] [color=red]them. They can be[/color] a nightmare for others. Seniors Halley Boatman and Brittany Belendez [strike]have[/strike] [color=red]Unless is has to be there, but it feels better without it.[/color] struggled through most of their high school experience [strike]due to their individual battles with[/strike] [color=red] This just seems awkward to me. Maybe [i]while dealing with[/i] or similar. [i]Due to[/i] just doesn't fit right.[/color] depression. [strike]Everyone has a different experience with depression,[/strike] [color=red] Everyone's experience with depression is different[/color] but most people end up having the similar problems as a result of their condition.

The first step towards [strike]curing[/strike] [color=red]don't know if this is the best choice of words..maybe [i]successfuly treating[/i][/color] is identifying the problem. Some people tend to overlook their emotional problems, which [strike]can only[/strike] [color=red]I think [i]will[/i] would work better in this case. Maybe not, it depends what you're going for.[/color] make things worse.
[/size]

[Mitch]

[QUOTE]
[size=1]Mitch, I disagree.

Newspaper articles [i]are[/i] facts. They present facts. That's what they are for. Saying that it has too many facts is like saying water is too wet, or something.
[/quote]
[color=black][font=rockwell] True. But as I said, that's what [i]graphics[/i] are mainly used for. To give the facts that otherwise would dot the story and make it boring. Thus, what Shy's given, so much of just the base of it is facts. This [i]is[/i] journalism, I do agree. But from what I've been learning in J1, you want to focus the subject on someone, find an angle. Shy did this a tad, with the quotes and such, but there isn't much of a story about this person's depression. It's just mainly quotes that are telling [i]their[/i] story.

This story could be better than it is, as much as I'd like to say I love it and all. I know it can be better. Some anecdotes, more of a better story [I know there's already a story about these two people there, but it could be a lot more prominent. Instead of those facts, replace them with just more story about these people. Then put the facts in say, a quick facts box about depression. Or what about a chart diagraming the parts of the brain that depression has its affects on. Or how about a bio box of these people. Or a quote collection. See my point? Facts should stay in graphics. They dull the story.][/color][/font]
[quote]You also have to write to the lowest common denominator. Assume people don't have a clue as to what you're talking about. Whether or not [i]you[/i] were familiar with the facts of depression or not is not an issue. [/quote]

[color=black][font=rockwell] Well, in the back of your thumb, or your mind, yes you do. But that again is what graphics do, they give the facts and put them in something that's a lot more interesting than looking at some boring text.

I may be a little scant on some of the things I've said in here, but I think Shy has my point. I'm sorry that I have to be so honest, but when something means something to you, you do have to.[/color][/size][/font]

[quote][size=1][i]And mainly, also, you aren't exactly really telling the story of this person's depression.[/i][/quote][/size]

[color=black][size=1][font=rockwell] But that's the point of journalism. To tell a story, fact driven, yes. But someone's story about depression [i]is[/i] fact driven. It did happen. It is true.[/color][/size][/font]