Writing A great satire

[EcCenTriC fairy]

[size=1]I thought this was a very interesting satire. My friend sent it to me via e-mail earlier today.


[b]My Totally Justified Pre-emptive Strike[/b] -A Fictional Satire by Nick Ross, El Portal, CA

The other day at school I heard a kid talking about fighting me, so I walked up to him when he buying lunch and punched him in the neck. He fell down and I kicked him in the stomach and then grabbed the back of his head and slammed his face against my knee three times. I would have kept going if some kids hadn't dragged me of him. Later that day I was in the principal's office to talk about the seriousness of what I had done. Mr. Jones, the principal, said I faced expulsion. He said there was a 'zero-tolerance policy,' which said that if you're in a fight, you automatically get expelled.
'But Mr. Jones, it was self-defense,' I argued.
'What are you talking about?' he asked. 'That kid didn't even get a punch in.'
'Yeah, but he would have really hurt me if I didn't stop him first. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I was just doing the same thing that President Bush is doing. If we don't get Iraq first, they'll get us. And if I hadn't gotten that kid, he would have gotten me.'
'Listen, don't go bringing the president into this,' Mr. Jones said. 'That's different. Our country thinks Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction.'
'Yeah, well, I think this kid doesn't like me. And he certainly had the capability to do me harm. Someone told me he has really hard knuckles.'
'If you thought he was going to hurt you,' Mr. Jones said, 'then you should have told me or a teacher and we would have made sure you were safe.'
'Listen,' I told him, 'I was just following the example of the president. He went to the U.N., but they can't find any proof that Iraq had bad weapons, so they're not doing anything! SInce Bush knows Saddam does have weapons and will use them against us, he's taking matters into his own hands. And that's exactly what I did. I knew that if I told the school someone was planning to beat me up, they would ask for proof. They'd say, 'Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean they are going to beat you up.' But I knew that this kid might hurt me, so I just hurt him first." Mr. Jones agreed that all I was doing was following the president's example, but he also said I would be expelled anyway.
If what I did was wrong, then is it possible that what the president is doing is wrong too? [/size]

[Kaola Su]

Oh man, that is kind of true! Well, 100% true! Wow...that's all I can really say about that! Just, wow!

[Manic Webb]

LOL

How old are the kids in this story supposed to be? This isn't a school yard fight, that was all-out beating the crap out of somebody. The main character beat that other kid like he stole something from him. lol

I'll leave my political views on the subject alone, as I don't know how to go about discussing the difference between national security pre-emption and schoolyard pre-emption.

[EcCenTriC fairy]

[size=1]Yeah, I'm kind of a fence-resident on this issue right now, but I believe that this satire is really explanitory. Makes you think at least.[/size]

[Sara]

[size=1]I think it would have been more a satire if you didn't expalin it [i]quite[/i] so much.

Amusing, however.[/size]

[DuoMax]

Wow...so true...Iy's what I've been telling people!