G.D. Ryoko Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 [COLOR=crimson]Earlier yesturday my friends had asked me to go out with them to a skating ring that on Fridays is a teenage club. I said I could not go because my parents would kill me if I went out at 8:00pm until 12:00am. Anyway like a half hour ago one of my friends called me and told me that one of my friends were raped and the other one is not a "virgin in the mouth." I was pretty shocked, I mean they didn`t even become 14 yet.[/COLOR] [COLOR=crimson]Now they bare in trouble with their parents because they did not tell the truth about what happened. I want to help them all but I also do not want to snitch. What do you all think I should do. I am 14 and never had to deal with this sort of thing before.[/COLOR]:( If this thread needs to be closed then feel free to close it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mei Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 [color=green]Hmm...well I'm 14 as well, and though I've never been in your situation,(at least not as serious as this) I would go ahead and tell there parents. I realize you don't want to "be a snitch," but sometimes, that's the best thing to do. If you really want to help them, then telling an adult who would understand is the logical thing. They may get in serious trouble with their parents, but it's much better than keeping it hidden, and forever torturing themselves inside. Also, if they don't tell, the people who have done this horrid thing to them may come back for another attempt. Telling an adult can help the person(s) get caught, and hopefully sent to jail. As for your friend whom is no longer holding virginity in her mouth may have made this decision herself, or may have been forced into it, but it's still MUCH better to NOT keep it a secret. It will be hard, but you've got to tell....[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeathKnight Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 [color=crimson]So? I find that amusing if nothing else. That's life. You should get used to somewhat shocking things occuring, they seem to occur more frequently as you get older. I think that, since you are still young, you should try to figure this out for yourself. Its a 'learning expierence', and it definately isnt the end of the world, so just try and trudge your own way through this.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 I personally dont care, but if by planting myself into your shoes, in my current state of mind I would tell on them and feel very good about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.D. Ryoko Posted May 17, 2003 Author Share Posted May 17, 2003 I don`t think I can feel good telling. I told my parents who are very understanding. I just can`t believe that my friends would let this kind of thing happen to them. This just makes me want to cry. I also can`t believe they did not tell their parents. This just makes me sick. Iam really hurt about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 Eh, I'm a dilusional psycopathic spawn of hate... Anything that I say right now probably wont make sense nor logic. I dont think that any normal person would get a kick from ratting on their friends. But like Deathknight said.. its just life, get over it. It's definately not the doomsday... *runs in terror* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.D. Ryoko Posted May 17, 2003 Author Share Posted May 17, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Phantom [/i] [B]But like Deathknight said.. its just life, get over it. It's definately not the doomsday... *runs in terror* [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=blue]I know it`s not the end of the world but I just can`t believe my friends were such stupid jack a**es. Who (besides my friends) would be dumb enough to get inside cars with older guys.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 That is their own stupidity I guess. Why are you making a big fuss about it. It definately isn't your fault Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.D. Ryoko Posted May 17, 2003 Author Share Posted May 17, 2003 I guess because in a way I feel bad for them and I wish I could of did something for the idiots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sui Generis Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 Actually it happened to one of my friends (girl) a couple years ago. The answer to the reason people (your friends in this case) are stupid enough to get in cars with older boys is..... You're (me included) are young and for some ungodly reason we think you're invincible and can't get hurt. I don't mean to be harsh I hope your friends learned their lessons. You have to be aware. Life isn't full of Lolly Pops and Teddy Bears un fortunatly. It doesn't have to be bad though, life shouldn't be filled with Paranoia....but they should be more aware.... I wouldn't tell their parents, thats a decision they will have to make. This is their mess you can stand on the side lines and root for 'em. But it'd be best if they suited this out themselves.... -Bryan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by G.D. Ryoko [/i] [B][COLOR=crimson]Earlier yesturday my friends had asked me to go out with them to a skating ring that on Fridays is a teenage club. I said I could not go because my parents would kill me if I went out at 8:00pm until 12:00am. Anyway like a half hour ago one of my friends called me and told me that one of my friends were raped and the other one is not a "virgin in the mouth." I was pretty shocked, I mean they didn`t even become 14 yet.[/COLOR] [COLOR=crimson]Now they bare in trouble with their parents because they did not tell the truth about what happened. I want to help them all but I also do not want to snitch. What do you all think I should do. I am 14 and never had to deal with this sort of thing before.[/COLOR]:( If this thread needs to be closed then feel free to close it. [/B][/QUOTE] They deserved everything they got. Just like Death Knight said, be a cold emotionless bastard to everyone. Life sucks until you die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epitome Posted May 17, 2003 Share Posted May 17, 2003 Dude Ive gone through the same thing. My cousin was raped when she was 16 by her b/f. I was so shocked to hear what happened. What I did was I told her to tell her parents what happened and they will probably help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwai Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 Try the school psychologist or therapist if they are in some emotional disaster. But it was their folly that they got raped. Its done. Nothing can be done to unravel what has been done. Never regret what has happened because you will only drag it behind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCBaggee Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 [color=red][size=1][font=arial]Do the cops know of this?! What happened to your friends is terrible, and it will suck to have to tell someone, but consider this: if you don't tell anyone to keep your friends, how will you feel if this happens to someone else? You're friends need help now, and you have to take a step to help them. I know, it's hard to accept help in situations like this, especially from the police, but right now, someone needs to stop this guy before more people suffer. --Chris[/color][/size][/font] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 If they were raped, they need to cal the police. No other question about it. If you let these guys get away with it, they'll do it again. Don't stand by while your friends wimp out because they're afraid, help them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwai Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 1) Call the cops 2) Call the school therapist/psychiatrist 3) Leave them alone for a while unless they want to talk 4) Do not regret anything that happened that was beyond you 5) This is NOT snitching Basically, thats what you should do... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MillieFan Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 I am shocked by some of the things posted here. First of all, rape (including rape involving, um, other acts) is a CRIME against a victim who should not be blamed. If someone is murdered, would you say that the person asked for it? Even if they did ask for it, what happened was still horribly wrong and should be punished or at the least confronted. I would say you need to do the following: 1: Tell the parents of the people involved. It's hard to do, yeah, but it's also what you need to do. The rapist(s) could harm others if this is just hushed up and ignored. 2: Encourage your friends to call your local rape crisis center (that's what it's called here, your local one may go by a slightly different name) and/or the police. 3: Be there for your friends. LISTEN to them, don't judge them, don't condemn them, but listen to them. 4: Don't confront the rapist(s) or their friends yourself! I'm looking for something I can post, since links aren't accepted here it will have to be short enough to fit. I will be back with that in a few minutes. I'm praying for you and for all involved. No one should have to go through such a horrible crime, especially at such a young age. I hope whomever is guilty is punished to the full extent of the law. Edited to add, wow, Metatron, we almost said the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MillieFan Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 Rape Is Rape The following information was adapted from a brochure developed by the San Diego County District Attorney's "Rape Is Rape" campaign. For questions about the campaign, you can contact San Diego Deputy District Attorney Lisa Weinreb at (619) 515-8154. Definitions How to reduce your risk of rape and sexual assault What men and women need to know about sexual assault What if you think you have been raped? National Rape Hotline (800) 656-HOPE (4673) Definitions Rape Rape is an act of penile/vaginal penetration committed without the consent of the victim. Penetration, however slight, is an act of rape. Consent Consent means agreeing to an action freely, voluntarily, and with knowledge of the nature of the act. If you are passed out because of alcohol or drug use, you cannot consent. Sexual Assault Sexual assault includes rape, sexual battery, non-consensual sodomy, non-consensual oral copulation, and non-consensual penetration by a foreign object, even a finger. How to reduce your risk of rape and sexual assault Approximately 80% of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows and trusts. Unlike stranger attacks where the suspect might enter the victim's home through a window or jump out of the bushes in a surprise attack, many sexual assault victims may have made choices that could have reduced their risk of sexual assault if they had been more informed. Here are a few ways to keep you from becoming a victim. With these simple tips, you'll stay in control and reduce your risk of assault. Keep from being drugged Don't leave drinks unattended or drink from a punch bowl. Don't drink anything you didn't open yourself and keep in your possession. A variety of drugs, sometimes referred to as "Date rape drugs", can be put in drinks and cause intense drunkenness and memory loss. They can also physically impair you - you cannot walk, talk, or escape assault. Avoid drinking too much and using drugs Excessive drinking or use of drugs can make you vulnerable and distort your judgment. This can make it harder to stay in control of the situation. There are rapists out there looking to take advantage of people under these influences. Keep friends close Don't go out alone with someone you don't know well. There is strength in numbers; go out with a group instead. Watch out for one another. If a friend looks like she has had too much to drink or is under the influence of drugs, help her and don't leave her with anyone. Stay in control Say what you expect from your date - be up front. Know when you or the person you are with is starting to cross the line and stop it immediately. Trust your instincts. If a situation feels unsafe, you are probably right. Get help or go home as soon as possible. What men and women need to know about sexual assault Be self-aware. Know when you or someone else is starting to cross the line. Even if you have always believed that women sometimes say "no" when they mean "yes", always act as if "no" means "NO". It's NEVER okay to force yourself on someone, even if you think that he or she has been leading you on. Remember that alcohol and/or drugs are involved in the majority of sexual assaults. Support women in being assertive and honest, not passive and coy. What if you think you have been raped? Rape is rape. Rape by someone you know is the same as rape by a stranger. It is just as real, just as dangerous? and just as serious. Remember - rape is never the victim's fault. You have nothing to feel ashamed of or guilty about. Report It Reporting sexual assault is an important part of ending violence against women and ensuring he won't rape again! While it's a personal decision, remember - no one has the right to have sex without the complete consent of the other person. If you do decide to report, do it as soon as possible so evidence of the crime won't be lost, making prosecution more difficult. Get Help If you are raped, go to a safe place immediately and get help. Call the police or go to a hospital. If you think you've been drugged, ask the hospital to take a urine sample so the police can analyze it for any substance used to incapacitate you. Preserve Evidence If possible, do not bathe, douche, urinate or engage in any activity that may contaminate or destroy valuable evidence such as semen, saliva, hairs and blood. This includes eating, chewing gum, smoking, drinking, brushing teeth and gargling. Doing so might destroy evidence. If you have to urinate, collect the urine in a clean jar with a lid and refrigerate the specimen until you can give it to an officer. If the evidence is preserved, it can be used in the prosecution of the rapist. Even if you choose not to have a forensic sexual assault examination, you should see a doctor to be treated for sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. The doctor, however, will by law have to report the assault to the police. If the report is delayed, evidence may still be available. Do not wash your clothes, sheets or bedding or dispose of any items associated with the sexual assault. National Rape Hotline (800) 656-HOPE (4673) If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault, call the National Rape Hotline. It will connect you automatically to a counselor at your local rape crisis center who can provide options and support. Even if you are unclear about a situation you or a friend have experienced and need advice, you can call. I got this from the website of the San Diego Police Department. If you want a link, I can provide it if you PM me or if I'm given permission to post it here. I deeply apologize if this post breaks a board rule-in the context it is in, I do not believe it to be violative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corey Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 [b]Personality Number One-[/b] Hmmm... Learn to use the edit button. [b]Personality Number Two-[/b] Let's shed new light into this thread. You said that one of your friends [i](forced?)[/i] gave oral sex. While this is generally harmless, despite the possible psycological problems, she could now be infected with a few different STD's. I suggest that you tell the parent/s about the incident. Your other friend which was raped (I'm assuming forced sexual intercourse) could face many, many more possible infectious problems. On top of an infectious outcome, there is also the possibility of pregnacy. As grossly unfair as this seems, having a baby through rape, our bodily systems work the same no matter how certain things get placed in certain areas. Tell the parents. And to quote DeathKnight, [b]"That's life."[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kwai Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 Punishment for a crime is also a part of life... hope those b*stards will end up in jail... personally, if that happened to any of the people I know(even if I hated them), I would not rest until I c them jailed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 Life does suck, but I want to reiterate that, though the friends could have taken care of themselves better, GDRyoko should not be told to treat them cold heartedly, and with an attitude of "oh gee, you brought it on yourself." I don't need to recount my own horrible experience, but I can tell you that getting the facts out [i]now[/i] is far more important than being "nice" and hiding it. Stop the assailants. Bring some closure to your friends. Don't judge them--they need you the most right now. I wish I had had someone at the time, but I finally got closure through my online friends about a year ago. Waiting over 10 years to do so is not smart--please believe me. Talk to the parents, talk to the police, talk to your friends. Just [i]talk.[/i] I cannot emphasize that enough. [b][color=red]Life may suck, but you don't have to be cold-hearted along with it.[/color][/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hikaru Ichijyo Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 For the two insensative people -__- that said it's life and let them get over it. If one of your friends or family members was raped you wouldn't be telling them get over it or they deserved it. That's just morally wrong on so many levels. As for your situation G.D. Ryoko the only thing you can do right now is be a good friend. First off you have to tell your parents, its also fairly important that your friends go to the cops and tell what has happened. Also its almost certain that your friends will need some form of help rape is a trama that is hard for anyone to get over on there own and it will do them good to seek help at such a fragile age. Lastly the only thing you can do after those things is be supportive of them and help them through these rough times like a true friend would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solid Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 well, i will never fully comprehend your situation cause i have not met anyone that was raped before (that i know of) so i cant put myself in your shoes, the only thing i can do is think logicaly, and from what i think you should really tell their parents, not only that its dangoures becuase of deseases and pragnency but it should be talked with someone so the rapers will be sent to jail , so no more girls will have to be tortured so... i dont know though why you think their parents will be angry, i understand that "they could have been more careful" and should have told the truth at the beggining, but i learned during my 15 years of life that no matter what your parents will love you, i think that when a parent that hears that something bad has happened to his son\duaghter he woudnt be angry, and if he will he will be angry about the ******** that did it. prodably the best thing is call the police, if not for your firends than for other people, i find raping one of the most horrible things a man who rapes is not a human being and he should be punished because of the thing he did, wether life sucks or not, nothing justify such a horrible thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pbfrontmanvdp Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 Yea my ex got raped like when we were going out about 4 months ago and i was pissed at whoever did it. Like make sure they file constant police reports on the case and try to calm them down a lot by saying its not there fault. I hate how people do that i think its the worse thing to do in someones life. I cant see how someone would stoop that low and actual do that. Also i wanted to know if you find out who the person is (dont have to give out name/names) i just want to know if u found out who the person was whoe did it. I found out who did it to me ex and i basically couldnt do anything about it since he some how found out i was confined from not being allowed to go there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinnyLyn Posted May 18, 2003 Share Posted May 18, 2003 I remember once speaking to my manager and mentor Ron (my close online peeps know who I mean--the rough tempered guy) about rape. His view was not to be concerned on whether the victims deserved it (a minor issue, perhaps, but not THE issue), and that the rapers should be raped themselves as punishment. Graphic, but I'd have to agree. Of course our "Grand Ol' Gov'n" would [i]never[/i] allow that (who would you get to do that? ugh) and probably let the criminals walk after a few days. *miserable sigh* Some punishment... If you feel comfortable about it, G.D.Ryoko, feel free to update us on what has happened (whether any one has been contacted, etc). I'm praying for the whole lot of you. "A Time to Kill" is a good movie to sway some of the more cold hearted peeps we got running around here, and [b][color=red]I have to say I've lost respect for certain people after this thread.[/color][/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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