Writing Yet More Haiku from the Wandering Samurai...

[Shinken]

Hey, I took Knight's advice, and wrote these haiku about nature (except for the third one, I just got inspired:idea: ). Well, here you go;

1) The songs in the wind;
Nature's heartfelt expressions,
speak straight to the soul.

2) The sky is falling.
Catch the raindrops in my hands,
outspread like dove's wings.

3) Sorrow for an act.
Repentance and forgiveness;
Paid for with good deeds.

You likey?:blah:

Hitokiri Battosai


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[Sara]

[size=1]I'm not really into haiku...They usually seem sort of sappy to me. I think people get so wrapped up in counting out their syllables that they miss a lot that could be done with their pieces.

These are fine. I think for #1, the two five lines are good, but the middle one seems a bit forced, or out of place with the other two.

The same thing for #2, only this time it's the last line that I don't care for.

Not that they're bad, they just don't fit to me.[/size]

[KittyLynn]

[SIZE=1][FONT=century gothic][COLOR=deeppink]I totally agree with Sara. They are good, don't get me wrong, but they seem like you were trying to say so much, but had to fit them in 3 or 5 words.

Keep practicing. ^^[/COLOR] [/FONT] [/SIZE]