Writing Battosai's (Unfinished) Rurouni Kenshin Fanfic (Come on, you knew it was coming)

[Shinken]

WARNING: This isn't finished yet, but I'll post more as I work on it.
WARNING #2: This is NOT an add-on, everyone-works-on-it thing; just to avoid confusion.

Well, here it is; the beginning of my fanfic for everyone's favorite redhead samurai, Rurouni Kenshin! Like I said, it's not done yet, but I just want some opinions so far.

[I]Rurouni Kenshin: Kusen

What a day. First, he had washed all the floors in the dojo. Then, he went to the garden to check the progress of the vegetables. After that, he went into town to buy some pork so that he could make pork ramen for dinner. And now he had to do the dishes! If there was truly no rest for the weary, then that's exactly what Himura Kenshin was; weary.
"It's been a long day, that it has." Kenshin said to himself as he dried the last dish. He raised his hand, pushing back his long red hair. As his hand brushed against the cross-shaped scar on his left cheek, he was reminded again of his horrific past; a past that he has spent a lifetime trying to atone for.
Though his body rested in the peaceful quiet of the Meiji era, his mind and soul returned to the Tokugawa period and the chaos of the revolution. Each and every day, the memories returned, flushed to the surface by something that would be insignificant to others. The falling rose petals, the cold breezes of winter? Everything that kept him in this world also brought him back to another, more grisly world.
Before he had become Himura Kenshin, he was the Hitokiri Battosai; the legendary manslayer. For years and years, he had been the best assassin of the revolution. One could say with little room for doubt that, without the Battosai, the Revolution would not have been successful. Then, one day, the Battosai died, and only Kenshin remained; the reasons kept him awake each and every night, too painful to remember, yet too painful to forget.
"Kenshin!" came a voice from behind, breaking his trance and in turn the dish. "Oh, Kenshin, what are you doing?! That was the best dish in the dojo!!!"
"Uh? Sorry, Miss Kaoru. You? startled me, that you did." Kenshin replied, looking nervously into the woman's glaring eyes.
"Startled you?!" Kaoru yelled, wrapping her delicate hands around Kenshin's equally delicate neck. "You're the best swordsman in Japan, how could I startle you?!" Kaoru, being a young woman in her early to mid twenties, had a general personality that was like a beautiful sunlit January morning; nice to look at, but something you don't want to be caught in at the wrong moment.
"M-miss Kaoru, you're cho-choking me!" Kenshin pleaded, his eyes tearing. [/I]

Opinions? Be vicious.

[Japan]

very funny!! It looks good so far...keep up the good work!!!

[Mina]

It's really good. Keep writing. ^^

[Shinken]

And here's the next installment (warning: these aren't posted by chapters; just as I write them)
[I]"Oh? Sorry, Kenshin." Kaoru mumbled, releasing her death grip on Kenshin's throat. Unfortunately, she had managed to press both sides of his throat together.
"Th-that's alright, Miss Kao-ack!" He coughed a reply. "I think I'll? go see if I can find Sanosuke, that I will. Yeah, that's it. Find Sano?More like escape." Kenshin mumbled the last portion.


"Well, I wonder where Sano could be. I've checked all his old haunts and hideouts, and I can't find him anywhere. Maybe he's at the Aka Beko!" Kenshin said as the old, familiar restaurant met his gaze. He walked in the entrance and was immediately knocked back out by a large projectile, which happened to be Sano.
"Oro?" Kenshin mumbled as he lay on the ground.
"Kenshin?! What're you doing here?" Sano said as he stood back up, helping his companion to his feet.
"Looking for you, Sano. But it seems that trouble found you first?" Kenshin replied, pointing to the doorway of the Aka Beko. A large, burly man stood in the entrance, wiping blood on his kimono. "Uh, what did you do, exactly?"
"Caught him stealing from one of the waitresses out back, and the idiot brought it into the restaurant." Sanosuke tightened his red bandana, clenched his fists, and took a fighting stance. "It's alright Kenshin. I can handle him. Why don't you go in and get something to drink?"
"Sounds like a good idea." Kenshin walked up to the doorway as the brawny ruffian towered over him. The man put a large hand on Kenshin's shoulder.
"Hold it, short stuff. You ain't goin' nowhere." He said in a deep, gruff voice.
"You're right. I'm not going nowhere, I'm going into the Aka Beko." Kenshin's eyes flashed for an almost unnoticeable instant, startling the thief. Then, before anyone noticed, the hilt of Kenshin's sword had impacted with the man's chin. As he fell to the ground, Kenshin walked into the Aka Beko.
"I'll have some sake, please."

It was getting late, so Kenshin and Sanosuke had decided to start for the Kamiya Kashin dojo. It was a calm cool night in June, which meant that the fireflies were out. Their path slightly illuminated, the two began to reminisce.
"Man, those were the times. I was the youngest member of the Sekihotai, and it was the best time of my life. We all had something to fight for. Most of us were fighting for family and friends. Some of us fought just because. But we all fought for freedom." Sanosuke said, half to himself.
"Yes, we did. Of course, you and I both took separate paths, but the ideal remained the same. We were fighting for something more than ourselves; something that we felt was necessary for our continuing prosperity. And our paths eventually crossed, which led to? this." Kenshin said, his eyes staring into the open doors of the Kamiya Kashin dojo. It was a relatively small dojo, but as a home, it was more than large enough. Then, Kenshin and Sano both noticed something was amiss.
"Wait a minute. Why're the doors open? Doesn't Missy always shut them when the sun goes down?" Sano stated, referring to their black-haired doctor friend Megumi Takane.
"That she does?" Kenshin muttered, walking slowly into the dojo. As they both stepped into the main courtyard of the dojo, Kenshin noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He whirled around and saw a shadowy figure standing on top of one of the doors, a young boy squirming in one of his arms.
"Yahiko!" Sanosuke called, getting a muffled cry for help in reply. "You put him down!"
"And why would I do that? I'd lose my edge if I did that." The man's voice was deep and rough, despite his lean figure.
"And who's edge would be lost, exactly?" Kenshin shouted.
"I already told you, I'd lose my edge. But I guess you want a name. You can call me Hokage. And I've come for the Battosai." [/I]

Well, whaddya think? I've got a good plot twist coming, so wait for the next chapter!

[Shinken]

Sorry for repeating part of it, but I added onto that sentence. :shifty: Well, read on, and I need opinions.

[I]"I already told you, I'd lose my edge. But I guess you want a name. You can call me Hokage. And I've come for the Battosai." He said, glaring at the two. The first and only thing that Kenshin could notice about him was his pair of bright orange eyes. "So, which one is it? The runt or the rooster??"
"Rooster?! Oooh, why I oughta!!!" Sanosuke yelled, clenching his fists (which would have collided with the ninja's face if Kenshin hadn't been holding him back).
"I believe that you're looking for me," Kenshin said, placing his right foot forward. "But I'm afraid that the Battosai is no longer here."
"Oh, really? Well, then. I guess I'll just have to smoke him out!" The ninja tossed Yahiko up in the air, Yahiko screaming and flapping his arms as if he could save himself and fly. Hokage reached into the pockets of his hakama, withdrawing six shuriken, one filling each space between his fingers. He deftly threw them at the airborne Yahiko.
Kenshin moved as quickly as he could, drawing his sword and deflecting each shuriken in rapid succession. He caught Yahiko and landed on the ground, all within a period of a few seconds; which brought a wide grin to this new opponent's masked face. (The only way to tell was the slight lifting of the cheeks under the eyes.)
"Yahiko, where's Miss Kaoru?" Kenshin asked briskly.
"She went to town looking for you guys!" Yahiko replied.
"Can you use a bokken?"
"What?" Yahiko asked, confused. Then he understood. "You got it!" He ran into the dojo, searching frantically.
All right. Now that Yahiko's out of danger? Kenshin thought. He stood, looking in Hokage's direction, but he wasn't there. The wandering samurai's eyes darted back and forth, searching diligently for the ninja. Unfortunately, his eyes could not see behind him, and that was where Hokage appeared, kunai knife in hand.
"Kenshin, behind you!" Sanosuke yelled, rushing to aid his friend. This course of action was futile, as Kenshin had already noticed. He whipped around, his hand on the hilt of his sword. With lightning speed he drew the sword, his blade meeting that of the small kunai knife.
"A sakabato?" Hokage scoffed, struggling to parry Kenshin's attack. "I had heard that you swore not to kill, but to leave yourself defenseless?"
"Actually, I've been doing quite well with it!" Kenshin retorted, pushing his opponent's arms up by applying more pressure to his own sword, exposing the torso; an ample strike opportunity, and he took it. The force of the blow sent the ninja sliding backwards, but he managed to keep his footing.
"That? hurt." Hokage wheezed, clutching his chest. "You broke my rib! The one that just healed!"
"I'm sorry to hear that. I know a good doctor, maybe she could help you with that." Kenshin retorted in an uncharacteristically sarcastic tone.
"And maybe I could help you with that whiny attitude of yours!" Sanosuke interjected.
"Shut up! You're not the one I want to hear?" the ninja replied quietly as he charged for yet another attack. He withdrew two black tonfas from his side, swinging the L-shaped weapons in menacing arcs. Kenshin easily dodged each assault, bending and sidestepping with ease. With each miss, Hokage's rage increased, as did the distance between the tonfas and their intended target.
In a desperate fury, Hokage smashed the long ends of the tonfas together, separating the metal 'sticks' from their handles.
What is he doing? Kenshin thought. Then, as Hokage's movement changed, he came to a startling realization.
Nunchaku!
Kenshin ducked the first swing, but he could not avoid the next attack. Blood and pain clouded his vision as the nunchaku collided with his forehead. Himura was sent flying, rolling and tumbling on the ground as he came back down.
"KIAI!" Hokage roared, his voice much higher than it had previously been. Almost immediately, Kenshin's vision blurred as he came to his feet. His ears began ringing, and standing became much more difficult. To his (unbalanced yet expected) disbelief, he fell flat on his back as the world became more chaotic than an Obon festival in August.
Hokage let out a rough, hearty laugh. "The kiai no jutsu. Do you approve? It's my very own technique. As you can see-well, maybe you can't?" At this, he let loose another laugh. "The victim of the kiai no jutsu, due to the frequency of my voice, immediately loses balance and hearing. Basically, I just tore out your inner ear!"
"Well, that's a colorful way to put it." Sanosuke said, much closer to the ninja than previously. [/I]

I think this is going to be a little long... *Yeah, and the Himalayas
are a little bigger than the rest...* :blush:

[Guest AL-GUNZ]

this is really nice and u did a nice job in it

[Shinken]

Domo, GUNZ-sama. This is going to take a looooooooong time, by my estimation.