Solo Tremaine Posted June 14, 2003 Share Posted June 14, 2003 I look around my room At the things we did together. "Forever," you'd said. I never thought That forever would end. You're not here. It's like you never were. The things we did all scattered and torn Colours fade to grey, And I look... Into your eyes, the photos that call me I want to be that love that I see In your eyes. I want to be the one who holds you. I want to be the one who's reflected In your eyes. I walk around To the places we went together I look, and I see What we used to be. Who I used to be before I lost you. I'm not here. I could have never been here. My mind collapses into tiny shards Of a dream I might have once had. And I see... In your eyes, staring at me I want to be the love that I was In your eyes. I want to be held by you. I want to be an immortal reflection In your eyes. Dedicated to Weh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmitri_Dragoon Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 That was beautiful man, really touched the heart. In a way it sounds like trouble I've had. But it was very good. Very good indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Break Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 [size=1][color=CC0000]Wow.. that's really good. I love the way you managed to capture all my emotions at the moment (apart from extreme hate and anger). Eee.. it almost made me cry. n_n[/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pyrophobic Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 Wow, that's so melancholy. I like the way it flows like one long untamed train of thought, and the twist to the present tense in the final stanza is clever. Well don. *wipes away tear* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KittyLynn Posted June 15, 2003 Share Posted June 15, 2003 [SIZE=1][COLOR=dodgerblue]*sniffle* Sweet poem Soly. Very sweet. I loved it. -Kitty[/COLOR] [/SIZE] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest dayday Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 I wasn't crying but my eyes were watering since I was so clos on the screen and I wear glasses. I loved it so try to get another one up soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rain Posted June 17, 2003 Share Posted June 17, 2003 [size=1]Soley, I didn't know you were into poetry. Well anyway, I like this. The last stanza is the best, in my opinion (and no, not because it means that poem is going to end :p). It's... um, I'm not good at commenting on poetry, but... the last stanza sums up the rest of the poem. If you get what I mean. Well, it was very good. Hope you post some more soon ^_^[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Asphyxia Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 [size=1]You know that feeling that you've just discovered a talent you never knew you had? Well, at the moment, I feel like that. Solo, that was great. It was soft, and sweet, not sharp and ragged. It conveyed the emotion in the best way, and it drew the reader in. I love it, quite simply.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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