Writing Bleeders and bloodletters

[Avatarofkaine]

Usually i just write for myself and sometimes for that someone special, but lately this one poem has been sent to a few people who liked it, and Jesus chiken suggested i post it, so here it is everyone, form your own opinion. ----

Bleeders and bloodletters,
poison pens, and hate letters,

rip your heart from out your chest,
fear not its all good fun, all done in jest,
rip my heart from out my chest,

calibures and tensile strengths,
we weapons built to void defence,
the rage brewing in our fists,
we fear no more to take the piss,

the rising of a concept,
of rebirth through fire,
the darkning of a contenant,
apocaliptic covenant,

as bodies burn and heroes rise,
through jaded minds bear witness to your demise,
as blade meets flesh and bullet death,

rip my heart from out my chest,
that i may fight with all my strength,

for love is weakness and im a fool,
drown your love in dark deep pool
find your rage burn it bright,
bring to bear unholy might,

darkness deepness, live your desire,
of hurt and pain and blood red fire,
give birth to man, stained of blood,
bury them all in a rageing flood,

friends far and enemies dead,
only then to be safe in bed
a ringing urges in your head,
a want a need quenched not for life,

a hope a dream to be so light,
to fall into arms another,
to be forever with your lover,

in death and hate you find cause to wait,
to be for not yourself to find your mate,

to dance to laugh to cry to another,
to love to die to be for one other,

to turn your backs on all the world,
to find hope within each other,
to feed to breathe to be as one,

and as the man look down on us,
his fear his life, his hate his lust,
turn and run, they are all dust,

each blooded man do as he must,
to live his life, and not need trust,
and as you dig, the bodies hole,
think how one mans death may fill your bowl,
think the cost, mearly a soul,

to stand upon high hill,
atop the funeral pyre,
as dead men rise to stake a claim,
a hefty price, need one to blaim,
need a target someone to burn,
line up the happy, drag them down,

this twisted world it makes no sense,
a weapon is torn from a white picket fence,
and as i come to see, this life is farce,
less one does find a soul to share,

how beautiful you are,
what you mean to me,
how it is my soul set free,
ride in love to setting sun,
ride in love to barrel gun,
finding love, to be with her
only then does world seem fair.

[Epsilon]

Well...that was different, but still very intresting. That was a good poem, because of the emotions. Keep posting!!! That way I'll keep reading what you post. I also think of a title when I read this, "Jaded World." But that'd be a bad title so leave it as it is.

[Avatarofkaine]

Thankyou, as I said I dont make public most of my poems, or at least I didn't in the past, but for some of the stuff I have been writing i dont really mind so much about other people seeing it. I posted this one in my romantic thread:-----

As my blood do flow into the ground,
and from my head fade the sounds,
then i know i am defeated

As the light does fade,
death held at arms length,
then i know i have failed

As she slips from my arms,
fades from my mind,
then i know i am lost

As i forget the notion i once believed,
lose my faith in myself, forget my love of her,
then i know i am pointless, and so berieved.

As my hand drops her fingertips,
my mouth fall from her lips,
then i know i have realised my fears

my death bereft of her is torment,
my loss is damnation
my life is forefeight

but my love still lives eternal,

Not so much typical lovey dovey, but its how I feel about this one girl in particular, i just think the depth of my emotion may well scare her, so the poems I write for her are a bit "toned down", if I write anything else I want to share I'll be sure to post it for you if you liked this one.

Poetry is one of the few artsy expressiony things im good at, wish i was better at music but this is what I have so this is what I intend to do.

[Epsilon]

Thats a great poem. It was great by it's own and it's even better with so much meaning. I don't think you will really scare her away, anyways I love it.:D

[Avatarofkaine]

That little blue pill,
to heal all my ills,
that little blue pill,
a void it trys to fill,

But that little blue pill,
does little to help me,
makes me feel somewhat empty,
makes me feel that i am impared,

That little blue pill, in its silver sealed wrap,
that little blue pill to fix all the crap,
that little blue pill my strength do it sap

a letter P imprinted on its side,
its meaning unknown, its purpose does hide,
as i swallow this blue pill,
as it disappears down inside,

Disolve to my blood stream,
travel to my brain,
asert itself into my thoughts,
try and keep death off my mind,
a mighty battle my body fought,
but the chemicals will always win,

We are a medicated nation.

If I keep this up I am liable to run out of life experiences and have to stop writing all together for a while. This therefore may or may not be the last poem I write for a while, I can't be sure, I never know when the mood might take me, but right now I am fairly out of stuff to say. ---- Not a common occurance, I often wont shut up when it is in my best intrests to, but first time for everything and all that...

[Epsilon]

That's ok if you don't write for a while. But I must say this goes stright to the point of a little blue. We are a medicated nation compared to other ones. I love this poem, telling the truth hurts. And there are many things prove it.

[Lady Macaiodh]

[color=darkblue][size=1]You know, for your age, those are pretty outstanding, especially the first one, though a bit rough. I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep writing.[/color][/size]

[Avatarofkaine]

Yea, thankyou, personally I think one of my biggest problems is timing and rythym. The basis of the poem is usually there but I can never seem to get the flow quite right, but with hope that will come to me in time. Certainly I have improved from when i first started, I just hope that I continue to improve.

[Epsilon]

Avatarofkaine hope you do inprove, I've been writing the way I do now since I was around 8 years old. So I'm never going to improve. Anyways hope you get that creative flow so you get down timing and rythem. I'm sure once you get that done your poems will be even better.

[Avatarofkaine]

This one is a little bit off I think, its about me, I've got this really weird thing wrong with my stomach, all the doctors can say is that theres something wrong, but not what. They've had a look down my throat with the camera thing, i should know what its called but i forget and all they could say is that its inflamed and we have no idea why. It's really frustrating so i figured i might try and exorcise some daemons, dont know how well it worked but nyway here it is, like i said it sems to me to be a little off but anyways.


A brewing death,
bubbles in my chest,
discomfort rolling,
radiating, excrusiating,

Difficulty of discomfort,
loss of the social comfort,
trapped in my house,
trapped in my mind,

Am I still ill,
am I dreaming still,
the doctor provide a pill,
a tablet my fears to quell,

As I live alone,
my friends my ills unknown,
lost in a world of electronic interaction,
how I long for social interaction,

[Epsilon]

o_O Exorcise some daemons...fun! The poems great, trapped in some things makes some people go nuts. Tablets to feed the fear , I love it. Social and electronic interaction both are needed, so I gusses that's easy to see how you feel. Keep up the good work.

[Avatarofkaine]

In case you think you recognise the first line or part there of, and think I'm a hack who stole this poem, I'll make the disclaimer in a pre-emptive strike.
I took lyrics from a couple of songs I was listening to when I was feeling this way, so I chopped em up and twisted them around, the rest of the poem is my thoughts, so not as comprehendible as some, I think this ones a bit less of a poem, more a statement in prose, I hope at least some people who read it understand. Just thought I would mention that.

Drive-bys and faith healings, this ringing in my head -- angel's eyes
Leafing through my thoughts, an open book to those who look
A twisted story to those who care,
My thoughts of love, of my beauty fair.

In a world gone mad, spinning out of control
A crazy man preaches from his soapbox on high
His parish, small, his followers strong
A single stray bullet, copper cased death,
Rips into his heart, put end to his breath

A mugger, a thief lies silent in wait
His prey an old man, frail in age
Easy pickings, a big score, I party tonight

A loyal friend, honest of heart
betrayed by his partner, the one who he knew
alone now as one, where once they were two

As the world spins around, as we all lose our way
As the muses of fate, choose our next way
A chance, a luck, of indecision we live
Unjust, unfair, all this is true, what you fail to see, all this
is you.

[Epsilon]

Very nice! ^^ Having different song lines that aline back into your own thoughts. Never thought of that before, I like the idea. All thoughts in this all come together with in a collection of one person.