TarMeg1989 Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [COLOR=blue]Okay, I need help. Okay, I am pretty sure I love this guy. And I want a commited relationship, and he doesn't. So I am not sure if I should leave him or not. I tell him I love him everyday and I never get a reply. It really hurts and I just want to leave, but then again I don't want to because I love him or at least I am sure I love him. He tells me he does then like 2 minutes later he is like, " I don't love you" It really hurts and I can't live with that. So I need your help. Should I break up or should I stay with him and just continue getting no reply when I say I love you. :nervous: :worried: :( :bawl: [/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 You're 14, you don't know what love is. You LIKE the guy. If he's not ready for a committed relationship like you are, it won't work. BELIEVE ME when i tell you this. You'll just cause yourself and him more pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semjaza Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TarMeg1989 [/i] [B][COLOR=blue] He tells me he does then like 2 minutes later he is like, " I don't love you" [/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] That's all you need to know. Dump him. He's obviously an ***. I know there are going to be people here saying that more nicely and perhaps not as bluntly. However, I think that's all it's going to come down to. It's not worth your time. As for who can love and when, I don't even get into it. All these love threads are hurting my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarMeg1989 Posted June 18, 2003 Author Share Posted June 18, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Transtic Nerve [/i] [B]You're 14, you don't know what love is. You LIKE the guy. If he's not ready for a committed relationship like you are, it won't work. BELIEVE ME when i tell you this. You'll just cause yourself and him more pain. [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=blue]Okay I should've worded that better. He does want a commited relationship, but really doesn't understand what you do when you are committed. We've been going out for 2 years already. Everytime I come to thinking about breaking up I cry, so I think it is love, I know it ain't just like. Btw, I am 13.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TarMeg1989 [/i] [B][COLOR=blue]Okay I should've worded that better. He does want a commited relationship, but really doesn't understand what you do when you are committed. We've been going out for 2 years already. Everytime I come to thinking about breaking up I cry, so I think it is love, I know it ain't just like. Btw, I am 13.[/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] If you've been together 2 years, you should know what a committed relationship means. But you're kids. I don't believe kids have any notion of what love is. They think they know, but they don't. From my experience growing up, s middle school/high school relationship was 90% likely to fail, based on the simple fact the only reason they exist is to fit into social norm, to feel wanted, sex, to not be alone, etc etc all of the above. USUALLY love is not ont he agenda when it comes to young relationships. It's obvious he's very confused. He either doesn't love you anymore, doesn't even love you now, doesn't know what love means, or doesn't want to have all that pressure. When you truely love someone, you physically feel sick when they aren't around. You cry when they aren't around. When you can't see them for a few hours, you feel like they've been missing for years. When you're with them, you can tell them what they are thinking just by looking at them. You know when they are happy, you know when there's something wrong. SO if you truely love him, you already know what he's thinking. You already know the answer to your question. You already know what to do, you just gotta get up and do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyGirl Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TarMeg1989 [/i] [B][COLOR=blue]We've been going out for 2 years already. Everytime I come to thinking about breaking up I cry, so I think it is love, I know it ain't just like. [/COLOR] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=deeppink]I bet you cry when you think about breaking up because you [i]have[/i] been with him so long, it's probably the thought of not seeing him so often that makes you upset. You may care for him, but I used to cry when I broke up with guys that I had only dated for 6 months...it's the separation that hurts. I honestly don't think that you know what love [i]is[/i] yet. Love is definitely not someone who tells you that they don't love you back...that's one-sided infatuation. Give single life a chance, honey, it can be an awesome change of pace. (Especially since you're so young!!! Live life first!)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarMeg1989 Posted June 18, 2003 Author Share Posted June 18, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Transtic Nerve [/i] [B]If you've been together 2 years, you should know what a committed relationship means. But you're kids. I don't believe kids have any notion of what love is. They think they know, but they don't. From my experience growing up, s middle school/high school relationship was 90% likely to fail, based on the simple fact the only reason they exist is to fit into social norm, to feel wanted, sex, to not be alone, etc etc all of the above. USUALLY love is not ont he agenda when it comes to young relationships. It's obvious he's very confused. He either doesn't love you anymore, doesn't even love you now, doesn't know what love means, or doesn't want to have all that pressure. When you truely love someone, you physically feel sick when they aren't around. You cry when they aren't around. When you can't see them for a few hours, you feel like they've been missing for years. When you're with them, you can tell them what they are thinking just by looking at them. You know when they are happy, you know when there's something wrong. SO if you truely love him, you already know what he's thinking. You already know the answer to your question. You already know what to do, you just gotta get up and do it. [/B][/QUOTE] [COLOR=blue]Well, I feel all that. I know he loves me, but is afraid because something had happened when he was younger. You may think it is impossible for a girl my age to love. Chances are very slim, but it is possible. My friend's mom's friend had a relationship like mine when she was my age and they ended up getting married and having 2 kids. So I know it is possible ,but 11% chance though.[/COLOR] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJchan Mayran Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 .....I probably can't give good advice, since I'm [i]only[/i] 14... X* But honestly, it may hurt, but it sounds like it's better for you two to be apart. I've had this happen to me in reverse, guys tell me they like me, and I don't like them back. After awhile it get really annoying. Chances are, you're strangling the poor guy. Back off a little, and give him a bit of time to breathe. Ever heard the phrase: "If you love something, let it go, if it loves you, it'll return"? It's true. BTW, it's true you can fall in love so young. A teacher of mine and his wife were elementary sweethearts. :p And don't sweat it Meg, I know what you mean. I'm in love too. ~SJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Transtic Nerve [/i] [B]You're 14, you don't know what love is. [/B][/QUOTE] [siZe=1] Look who's talking as well. Really, now one [i]knows[/i] what love is. There isn't a certain other word that incites as much as strongly as the world love does. Sure, you might [i]feel[/i] and [i]say[/i] that you know what love is. But really, love is used so all over today. Eventually the word won't mean what it should. There is a difference between knowing something and feeling it. How can you know what love is, when, in fact, you aren't even sure what it is, how it feels, and all that? Exactly. We might say we love someone, but we don't really know ourselves. We know we care about the person we say it to, but is that love? Caring? I can't know, and most people can't. You can put up the best arguments, but still, you don't know what love is. You just think you know due to the feelings you have. I guess that there is such a thing as love, but the word is used so many different ways; eventually it won't mean anything much, just like gay as word. It means happy, elated. But now it's used to describe homosexuals. And now it's being used, quite often, in the context of, "That's so gay."[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Macaiodh Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [color=darkblue][size=1] If you two have been going out since you were 11, it's likely that you're both starting to really change/grow and are not the same people anymore. Just think of all the hot guys you'll be able to have fun with once you're broken up. That ought to help, at least a little. [/size][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BabyGirl Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mitch [/i] [B][siZe=1]You can put up the best arguments, but still, you don't know what love is. You just think you know due to the feelings you have. [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] [color=deeppink]I agree with you that love is often times an arbitrary emotion, but if someone believes that they are in love, why argue against their happiness? Sometimes I think that love is one issue that should just be laid to rest; let those who are in love with each other [i]be[/i] in love. In TarMeg's situation, however, I don't think she knows what she is feeling because the guy doesn't even love her back. That's how almost all middle school and high school relationships start, and if two people can stick together up to or through college, [i]then[/i] there's something special there. That's when our maturity has grown enough to give us clear vision of what we want in our lives and what kind of person we want to spend it with. I think it takes experiementation to find someone that you can love and fall in love with. I never 'loved' any of the guys I dated for a long time, but I do love the one that I'm currently with. He, too, is old enough and had enough past relationships to realize that what he sees in me is what he wants. And, back to the falling in love at a young age, I honestly don't think it's possible. You can have a crush on someone, be infatuated, but until aforementioned maturity growth, there's no way that you can really see what the two of you have. Just because two people were elementary sweethearts does [i]not[/i] mean that they were in love...they merely stuck it out together until they got older and eventually fell in love. It happens all the time. Anyway, I realize that I'm ranting and that I have other things that need to get done ^_^; Lengthy post.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nats Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 When I started going out with my first crush wen I was 11 and he dumped me when I wasn't at school (I was ill obviously) to ask out my best friend!!!! So I was heart broken and the day before he said he loved me. My advice is demmand an answer if he does love you or he doesn't, he can't change his mind all the time, I think he maybe taking advantage of you. It's unfair to be stringing you allong like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Transtic Nerve Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Mitch [/i] [B][siZe=1] Look who's talking as well. Really, now one [i]knows[/i] what love is. There isn't a certain other word that incites as much as strongly as the world love does. [/size] [/B][/QUOTE] I am 20, I have 7 years more experience then she does. I have a better understanding of what love is. I may not KNOW what love is, but liek you said, who does? All I know is that from my experience, children, anyone to the age of 16/17 really doesn't have a clue on life, that include love too. All I know is that true love.... true love is something more than you can feel. it's more than you can describe, it's more than you can type out and post on a message board. Just because you cry when you think about breaking up with him, doesn't mean anything. You wouldn't be able to describe how you feel if you were truely in love. You wouldn't try to either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delian Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 Honestly sweet, you're very young and although you might strongly care for this person I don't believe you actually love him. You're only 13 and you'll probably go through this many times as you get older. You're not really being fair on your boyfriend either. If he is as young as you are, then I highly doubt any sort of commitment is on his mind and it probably won't be for a while... Give yourself time to grow and enjoy life before thinking about commiting youself to relationship with anyone. If you two are meant to be together then it will happen on its own...you can't force it on anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heaven's Cloud Posted June 18, 2003 Share Posted June 18, 2003 [color=indigo]I tend to agree with pretty much everything that has been said...however I have a question for you. How do you know he loves you? I think you two are very familiar with each other, probably too familiar. I think you two should break up, if he is your true love, you can wait until you are a little older to realize it ;)[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarMeg1989 Posted June 19, 2003 Author Share Posted June 19, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Heaven's Cloud [/i] [B][color=indigo]I tend to agree with pretty much everything that has been said...however I have a question for you. How do you know he loves you? I think you two are very familiar with each other, probably too familiar. I think you two should break up, if he is your true love, you can wait until you are a little older to realize it ;)[/color] [/B][/QUOTE] Exactly what I've been trying to do, but he won't let me. If this is truely love and dated someone else I would know that I am in love with him. I just want to test my love. How I know he does, I really don't know how I know. I guess it is that I can read his mind or something. I also see it in his eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emme888 Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 Hey hun! take everyones advice and dump the creep. What kind of guy would say he loves you and then turn around later and say he doesn't. What a jerk! You think it's love, and the reason you cry is because you're scared of being alone. don't worry if you have great friends, you'll do just fine. Dump the loser, and Keep you head up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenBee Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 OK I am soon to be 18 so let me give you some advice, at your age you are supposed to go out and have fun with your friends not be in a 2 year relationship you have the rest of your life to be in a serious relationship. and if he tells you he loves you and takes it back he isn't worth your time. So dump him and start having fun. that is my advice to you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarMeg1989 Posted June 19, 2003 Author Share Posted June 19, 2003 Well, I'll break up, or I will try. Thanks for the advice. If you have more advice, please post more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TarMeg1989[/i] [B]Well, I'll break up, or I will try.[/B][/QUOTE][size=1]He cannot stop you from breaking up with him. He may try to talk you out of it, but he cannot just say "No, you are not" when you say, "I am breaking up with you." Judging simply from what you have said of this guy thus far, he does not seem like the kind of person you would want to give that power to. If you still want to be friends with him, let him down easy. Just tell him why your are ending the relationship. If he wants to be a jerk about it by throwing a fit and never talking to you again it is his loss, not yours. Do not think much of it. You are still a kid just becoming a teen. Have fun while you still can.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarMeg1989 Posted June 19, 2003 Author Share Posted June 19, 2003 Yes, Tarren taught me out of breaking up. And he loves me. He told me :D I am soo happy. I was right. Anyway, we now have a committed relationship. I am officailly happy now, and I don't think I would be deppressed anymore. *jumps up excitedly* :D Thanks for yall help. You helped a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkadyz Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 [color=red][font=times new roman]Well thats quite the 180 turn around ya got there...Went from break-up to long term relationship that fast hun... Well aslong as your happy thats all that matters hmmm(And hopefully hes saying the truth...) Well good luck to ya megan hope it all works out for you :D [/font][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiroMunkie Posted June 19, 2003 Share Posted June 19, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TarMeg1989[/i] [B]Yes, Tarren taught me out of breaking up. And he loves me. He told me :D I am soo happy.[/B][/QUOTE][size=1]I am going to be a bit of a pessimist here. Just because he said it does not mean he meant it. Personally, in my opinion, the guy seems a bit desperate. Just clinging on through whatever means so he does not have to lose anything. I suppose there is always that chance that I am wrong, and I do not expect you to think that I am right. I am just putting in another two cents is all. Food for thought; but if you say you are happy, then I would not dwell on it too much... you might end up like me, lol.[/size] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarMeg1989 Posted June 20, 2003 Author Share Posted June 20, 2003 Hmm.. Well, I don't think he will want to be with me. I am not a real guys dream on looks. I am have a weight problem, and I can be an itch with a b. SO I don't think he will want to be desperate. But who knows I may be wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black cat 2 Posted June 20, 2003 Share Posted June 20, 2003 [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by TarMeg1989 [/i] [B]Yes, Tarren taught me out of breaking up. And he loves me. He told me :D I am soo happy. I was right. Anyway, we now have a committed relationship. I am officailly happy now, and I don't think I would be deppressed anymore. *jumps up excitedly* :D Thanks for yall help. You helped a lot. [/B][/QUOTE] meg, i may be wrong but listen to what i have to say he could just talk u outta breakin up wit him because he doesn't want to be alone and for him sayin he loves u dont believe everything u hear i think he sounds like a real jerk whos usin u and i do think its possible to love at tht age and i'm in love also i love my boyfriend so much and i dont know wht i would do without him anyway live life like there is no tomorrow dont waste time wit this jerk find someone better thts what i have to say but if u think im wrong stay wit him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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